Finally I have found my Joi De Vivre.....and what a wonderful feeling.

I have a blog post in my head on many days. I wonder when they'll invent that when you formulate a blog post (or anything that needs to be documented) it will actually appear on a computer screen or inside your phone? I believe that will happen one day. How cool would that be? From formulating To Dos to scheduling your day, to keeping a journal and writing letters and memos, to planning and strategy stuff, you could formulate it in your head, and voila have it appear in a calendar or word document on your computer or smartphone. It would mean a chip in the brain. I wonder how far away they are from stuff like that? Somehow I don't think I'll see that in my lifetime though - bummer. I wonder if they have technology in heaven?

But once again I digress lol.....I'm writing to update, but the title of this blog is after all 'Labyrinthine Musings' which means I can go where ever I please with my ramblings as the reader has been forewarned.

I was going to do dot points, but paragraphs are probably more suited. I'll start with my weight as you may think that me neglecting to mention this means that it's no longer a priority.

I am happy and relieved to report that I'm currently over 7kgs lighter than when I started my crusade earlier this year. My BMI is now 25.6 and I want it to be under 25 so I'm very close. I don't consider myself overweight anymore, but know that another 4kgs would be just fantastic, and I am currently closer to my pre-children weight than I've ever been post children. The wonderful part though, is that I'm not really dieting. I watch what I eat most times, but on the weekends, I eat all the goodies I love. I don't eat cake as much as I used to, so my decadences reach out to really good dinners. My 'diet' is really two fold, I'm eating less and my change of medication. Little did I know, that the tablets I've been on for the last 8 years have been big contributors to my weight, and a huge reason, why I've not lost the weight, even whilst dieting. Two years ago when I was walking and jogging and dieting I was not as light as what I am now. I am very happy, and feel so much better and feel comfortable and good in my clothes. My goal of having my Jag jeans fit me again, is well and truly reached. I need to wear a belt with them, or I'm forever hitching them up. I've not worn a belt for years. I have, however no desire to exercise at the moment, which I know isn't a good thing. It's something I'm working towards though, as the benefits of exercise are much more than just mere weight loss or weight maintenance.

This brings me onto the next topic, my pain levels and where I'm at. Unfortunately, those areas are not as good. To say that I'm happy to be working from home with great flexibility would be an understatement. This has assisted my stress levels no end, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to be able to work from home. My achilles feel better many times, but then I'll walk around the Plaza for a couple of hours and they're screaming at me. I wear shoes with a slight heel, to take the pressure off, but the left one is agonizingly sore.... My shoulder doesn't hurt while it's just 'hanging' there. Nine mornings out of ten it doesn't hurt when I get up in the morning, because I've lain on it. But I'll move it in a certain way, or do some vigorous cleaning and I'll pay for it. If I reach out to put something away, it will catch and the pain is quite severe, but it's better than 12 months ago, so for that I am grateful. Unfortunately my back has not been good in the last few weeks, I was even incapacitated for a whole weekend. Thankfully the physio helped me. I'm sad that Carlie has left to pursue the next chapter of her life, (motherhood) but sad that she's no longer taking care of me. Yesterday I had to go back again, as it's flared up again. The physio suggested that how I sit when I work could be a problem. So, today I've been working for a few hours and have sat with my legs down, not outstretched on my recliner like I normally do. This has definitely helped, so he's right there. I'm enjoying the cool weather at the moment, because it means I can comfortably use a wheat bag.

Next week I go back to my new and wonderful GP. My medication will be increased and I'm excited about this. Not because my sleep which has settled into a pattern better than it was, and will probably be disrupted again, but because the pain relief that Cymbalta gives, will be interesting to see if this kicks in with the increase. I would love to exercise again, and I'm optimistic that this will help. Currently I've been on a dose given to an adolescent or old person, this has been for six weeks, and will double next week.

Initially I regarded the changes in me warily. Not ready to acknowledge that the medication was working, thinking that the placebo effect was playing a role here. (I'm now taking a new med, so you must feel better - right??) I'm confident now, though that it's not a placebo effect at all. And it's not me making an effort either......it's not forced. I don't quite know how to explain how I feel, but I feel like me!! I feel like a huge cloud has been lifted off me. Even on the worst mornings, after four or five hours sleep, I've not felt as wretched in the mornings like I used to feel after a full night's sleep. Not a nice feeling going through life, where getting up in the morning is one of the most difficult things you have to do. When you dread to see what the day brings, when everything is a huge effort, and nothing on the horizon can make you feel brighter. When the monotony of drudgery seems never ending....when you make yourself enjoy things because you know you're supposed to, and it's not a spontaneous feeling. When you're inadequacies and shortcomings depress you further and add to your already fragile state of mind. I mentioned in my last post that I feel calmer and kinder. That feeling is lasting. I'm not as easily irritated which is a wonderful thing. I'm happy, truly happy, not just happy because I know I have a good life and should be happy. I'm happy, with my tiny home, and tiny mortgage, my wonderful and loving husband who works too damn hard to support us all, and my kids are a constant source of joy for me. A wonderful side effect of me feeling so good, is that my family is happier too. I know I only have a small house and will never own a home like I would love to have, I know I'll probably never drive a new car, I know I won't have over seas holidays, for a long time anyway, I know that whatever I want, we work for and save for. I do have a wonderful family and extended family, with so much love coming from all directions. I have enough money to pay for bills, and my luxuries are anticipated, loved and appreciated. I have joy from my great girlfriends who listen to me and support me always. I have a husband who loves, respects and adores me. He listens to me, and gives me so much support and room to grow, he's my biggest fan and I love him so much. I have three wonderful kids, with the sweetest personalities, the best manners, and a wonderful work ethic and desire for knowledge. They are complimented frequently, from friends and strangers on how well behaved and how well mannered they are. I'm so proud of them. They all work hard at school and are caring and loving. Really, I have it all.

My psychologist doesn't want to see me again. I talked to her about the guilt I sometimes feel about not doing some things that other mothers do. But I've come to the conclusion, that I am a very good mother. I might not do 'Reading Recovery' at school, or work in the tuck shop, or race them to different after school activities and sporting events........BUT.............. I have created a loving home. A place where my family comes to rest. Where they have fun and feel safe. I have a great skill in dealing with 'issues' and am able to talk to my kids and help them in whatever they may be going through. I listen to them and they listen to me. I am a great resource for my kids with their homework. I can help all three and know that the progress they have made this year, is in some way because of me. They have a Mama who is technologically advanced and so they have a great teacher for all things IT. Just because I'm an older Mum, doesn't make me an old fuddy duddy lol..... My role as a Mother is to prepare my kids for their adult lives. My role is to give them knowledge in all things, especially life skills, in tolerance, patience, understanding and perseverance and consideration. They know they are a valued part of our lives, not the centre from which everything else rotates. They know we're all important in this family. They have a wonderful respect for our roles as parents and I treasure that so deeply. My kids don't have a sense of entitlement, something which many other kids have, and it's always showing in the twenty somethings, to be a disastrous way of thinking. As a family unit we work together very well. It's an awesome dynamic to be a part of. Five very different personalities living and loving together. What a blessing to be part of something like this.

Little things happen every single day, which make me realize that I'm doing the right things, that as a Mama, I'm succeeding. It will be a glance, a warm smile, or a twinkle in their eye. It will be a joke, or a kind word. This era in my role as a Mum is just perfect, both Bunny and I wish we could just pause it here.

It was damn hard work, those formative years. I've talked about that before and I don't ever want to go back there. I wished they'd been different. I wished I'd felt better, in many ways I missed enjoying them because it was so hard, but I also know my persistence and unfailing faith that I was doing the right thing, would pay off in the end. Thank God, I never gave up.

My kids aren't bullies, they aren't whingers, they aren't mean, they aren't deceitful, they're not rude, they're not antagonistic....... I no longer have any guilt. God made me the Mother for my kids. He created the kids for me! No longer will I compare myself to others. No longer will I look at another's qualities and consider them my shortcomings....because I have my own qualities. I don't need anyone to tell me I'm a good Mum. The proof is in my family.

I know without a shadow of doubt that my high level of self care is paramount to my abilities as a Mum. I'm no supermum, and I have no intention of being one. It's my self care which has taught the kids that it's not only my role to look after them and Daddy, but that we all take care of each other. While I'm the hub of the wheel, I'm also a cog, and if one cog doesn't work, the others don't either..... My mantra has always been, 'If Mama aint happy, aint nobody happy'. Well Mama is happy!!

A wonderful day of celebration. Mothers' Day. I had a fabulous weekend. On Saturday we went and visited Bunny's folks which was a lovely morning. Saturday night we had Thai take away which was delicious and watched half of 'Titanic', hope to watch the other half tonight. On Sunday I cooked a scrumptious roast pork with all the trimmings and the best crackle and a pavlova for dessert out of Julie Goodwin's cookbook. My Mum and Dad came and we had a great day. As always there was lots of laughs and just the best feeling. You know when you get that delicious warm feeling inside, when you're surrounded with your favouritest people in the whole wide world. Just awesome!!

Sammy and I.

Mickey and I

Bunny and I

Oma with Mickey, Billy-Joe and Sammy

Billy-Joe with his Oma

Same photo, I know - but

I'm totally in love with these kitschy digital frames and I've learned something along the way. I actually really like working with the png format from a change to the brush files. I always wondered why often there are two different file types....I know I'm a bit slow sometimes. I used the same photo again, because this is my favourite coloured frame and the photo compleents it perfectly.

It's the Monday of the long weekend. I'm supposed to work at Daisy's tomorrow and Wednesday in store, but I won't be able to do it tomorow, I'm not happy about that. I did some chores when I first got up today and quickly realized I wouldn't make a day at work. Home is good, I can sit, stand, walk, lie down when it pleases me. I've left a message on the physio's phone, so I'm hoping I can still get my appt that they originally offered me. Thank goodness it's improving though. I still wish I knew what triggered the muscle spasms in the first place though. I was trying to think, the last time this happened was about four years ago, so considering all my aches and pains, my back has been remarkably good. On the other hand though Carlie has always manipulated my spine whenever my shoulder or neck plays up so that's probably helped to keep things in check.

I'll do Daisy web work tomorrow of course and hope like crazy I can go in on Wednesday. I'm actually hoping I'll wake up Tuesday morning feeling great..... I'm sorry that I'm probably causing a friend of mine some angst as she is teaching tomorrow in my stead :( .

Playing and enjoying another long weekend

Even though I hurt my back badly, and have been basically convalescing all weekend, I've had a lovely weekend so far. I've had a quiet weekend interspersed with activity when I've needed to move around. A close friend of mine was here for dinner this evening and it was just lovely. It was just a simple BBQ of snagglepusses and salads, a glass of wine, and a nice family dinner. Added to that a lovely chat, and some serious file sharing and we were very happy......

Bunny took the kids to the beach this morning, so I had some time to potter through my chores and sit in my comfy chair. That was a much more practical option, as sitting in the car and on a beach chair did not appeal to me at all with my back.

Not much to say, I've just started watching 'Insommnia' with Al Pacino. Looks like a good movie. Love the above pic of my boys enjoyin ga talk on the sand. Love the frame by Kitschy Designs too. Thanks Suzy.

iNSD

I came home early last night from Daisy's. I'd hurt my back, no idea how, just woke up Thursday morning with a sore back which just worsened. I went to the physio on Fri afternoon, and felt worse afterwards. I went to Daisy's, mainly because I needed the diversion. I'm glad I went, although I was very happy when I came home at around 11. I sat down with my heat pack in my jammies and I'd taken another cocktail of pandol and nurofen and found they were the first dose that actually gave me some relief. I was actually comfortable sitting quietly. I did the above layout. The papers are by Verena Designs and the template is from iFasquelle @ Peppermint Creative. I can't remember who the heart and buttons are from.......I get so engrossed I forget to remember, and I restarted my MacBook this morning so the element files were no longer open in PSE. I didn't want to use yellow stars, but the pink coloured ones looked tacky, the yellow actually worked. Plus I don't mind a thing or two in my layout that's a bit quirky - it works. The journalling reads

I look at these beautiful girls and can’t believe how quickly time has gone by.Julia is now as tall as me and her ‘little’ sister Kiana is much taller than both of us. This photo was taken at my Mum and Dad’s place. It was a rare occasion where Ricky and Dee were home and they all came to my parents’ house for dinner. We had a nice evening. We generally only get together at Christmas time, so these events if they happen during the year are very very special.I don’t have daughters and I love these two as much as if they were.

Long Weekends

I love long weekends. That wonderfully, delicious feeling you get when you know you have time at home, with no commitments, nowhere to be, nothing pressing that needs doing. Don't get me wrong it doesn't mean we're not busy, but we're happy just to potter around home and to just be together. I went to a baby shower yesterday. Carlie my physiotherapist who has become a friend is having a baby soon. It was lovely seeing her and being among her nearest and dearest girlfriends to celebrate the coming of her new baby. I felt quite honoured to be there.

I'd slept in in the morning, went and picked up the kids from the golf course, because it was raining (AGAIN), and headed into Woolies to buy a couple of things. When I got home I put a Beef Osso Bucco together. I browned all the meat, celery, onions and garlic and put it on in the slow cooker. I served it that evening with a lemon and parsley gremolata and a parmesan polenta. It was delicious. Dear Bunny is looking forward to left overs tonight. We had a nice evening last night, quite a romantic one actually which is always special. Bunny went to bed earlyish, and I should have too, but stayed up and watched a movie. 'Pay it Forward' with Kevin Spacey. I loved the movie and the message within it, but had no idea it was going to have such a tragic ending. I went to bed after midnight and started listening to my new audiobook, by James Patterson, 'Daniel X'. It's a stupid story and I won't be finishing it!! I downloaded a Desmond Bagley book today, called 'Night of Error'. My Dad always had great books and I read most of them in my teens. I remember Desmond Bagley was one of my favourite authors during that time, so I look forward to listening to this one.

Today I got up late, could have slept longer, but Sammy kept going outside slamming the screen door, in his bid to find the jets which always fly over on Anzac Day lol.... So for the last two hours I just laid in bed, snuggling and feeling very content that nothing and nobody was needing my immediate attention. Bunny and I spent the day so far doing jobs. I've done two loads of washing, we've tidied, Bunny vacuumed, and has fixed a light in the lounge and pottered around with his car. He's tidying the 'hutch' up downstairs and is no doubt listening to the races or watching the footy while he's doing it. I've baked some Anzac cookies with the kids. They tell me they are delicious. I love the smell of the house when something is baking.

My new internet modem and connection was all set up during the week. I was so excited. It was quick easy and the new speed is AMAZING. I am so rapt that I'm spending the same as before but am now getting 25GB on ADSL2. I'm very very pleased and still can't believe that I've gone back to Telstra after all these years. I've never had an internet connection with them or a mobile phone because they've always been so much more expensive than everyone else. I left them for my phone years ago, and was always peeved that they never tried to offer me anything to stay, and yet they'd always ring trying to get me to change back, but yet they were never competitive. After my DoDo episode a few years back, I won't go with anyone who's not amongst the top few ISPs, and changing then left a really bad taste in my mouth for a very long time.... It's taken me 3 years to get the courage to go to someone else!! I'm already keeping a close track of the usage though, as we're very close to the limit I've allowed for each day. The download speeds are incredible. I still can't comprehend that my first internet package was for 80MB!!!! That was ten years ago, so much has changed since then.

Healthwise I'm not doing too badly. My sleeping is still up and down, but overall is better than it was initially. I alternate between prescription sleepers and no prescription ones, so that at least when I awake at 2am I can take something and I do go back to sleep. Not ideal, but I know it's only time. In three weeks when I go back to my GP and have the dosage doubled, I'll be back to square one, so I need my sleep now, so that I can get through this, and I know I will. Within myself I feel better. My weight is good, I'd still like to lose another 4-5 kgs though, but I'm not fat anymore and my confidence is soaring. I look nice in my clothes again, and not like a frumpy nearly 50 year old!! The best thing is that I'm not breaking my neck exercising, but just eating sensibly and eating smaller portions. I have never lost weight this quickly before and am so glad my body is finally doing what it's supposed to be doing. All these years I've been so frustrated because my body wasn't reacting to my eating/exercise patterns like it should have. A simple (well not so simple but in theory) change of medication and things are happening as they should. To say I'm happy about that is an understatement. Now to fix the pain issues so that I can actually exercise will be the next thing. My shoulder still gives me grief. It aches at night when I lie on it. It catches when I do certain things. It's not as bad as it was 12 months ago, but it's far from good. My achilles is still the same....... I'm hoping that the increase in my new medication will help the pain levels. It will be interesting. It's certainly helped in my pressure point areas so far in my thighs and forearms which is great.

I'm still suffering some side effects though. I'm so hot all the time, when everyone is cool. Dear Bunny has to have the fan on while I'm sitting there in a pair of shorts and a singlet top and he's in his dressing gown!! I hope that gets better. My feet aren't so cold anymore, so that's improving. I'm looking forward to the cooler weather.

Photo iPhone Hipstamatic

Anzac Biscuits

Ingredients

• 1 1/4 cups plain flour, sifted
• 1 cup rolled oats
• 1/2 cup caster sugar
• 3/4 cup desiccated coconut
• 2 tablespoons golden syrup or treacle
• 150g unsalted butter, chopped
• 1/2 teaspoon bicarb soda

Method

1. Preheat oven to 170°C. Place the flour, oats, sugar and coconut in a large bowl and stir to combine. In a small saucepan place the golden syrup and butter and stir over low heat until the butter has fully melted. Mix the bicarb soda with 1 1/2 tablespoons water and add to the golden syrup mixture. It will bubble whilst you are stirring together so remove from the heat. Pour into the dry ingredients and mix together until fully combined. Roll tablespoonfuls of mixture into balls and place on baking trays lined with non stick baking paper, pressing down on the tops to flatten slightly. Bake for 12 minutes or until golden brown.

Recipe from www.taste.com.au

Saving Ceecee Honeycutt

Saving Ceecee Honeycutt by Beth Hoffman

My rating: 4 of 5 stars This book was far removed from what I normally read. There was no crime, no violence as such. The story wasn't complicated, involved or challenging, but it was a lovely story. I think listening to this book is actually what made it. The southern accents used by the narrator added a wonderful atmosphere to the book. I actually felt like I was in Savannah, Georgia. I could smell the flowers and feel the heat. I actually liked the absence of men in the story, and the personalities, strength and wisdom which the author endowed all the characters was beautifully written. View all my reviews >>

Airframe

Airframe by Michael Crichton

My rating: 3 of 5 stars I'm always on the hunt for a new author, and I landed on Michael Crichton. I've seen his books around for years of course, but never taken enough notice of them to actually read one. It seems the older I get the less trash and fluff I read, so I'm looking for 'meatier' books. I did enjoy this book and didn't find the technical parts too difficult to understand even though I know nothing of aeroplanes or the building of them. I enjoyed the story, but it was virtually the replicate of an Air Crash Investigation show I'd seen which has always stuck in my head. I will read more of his novels as it was engaging and easy to read and I was keen to find the resolution. View all my reviews >>

House Rules

House Rules by Jodi Picoult

My rating: 5 of 5 stars I've worked with autistic children and adolescents and have a child on the autism spectrum too. I felt the book was an accurate portrayal of such a young man. I've not read a Jodie Picoult book in years, as I'd read several in a row and felt they all followed a similar formula which I found frustrating. Having said that, she spins a wonderful story, depicting the emotions of each character with great clarity and sensitivity. Perhaps because I listened to this book, I felt 'closer' with the characters than if I'd just met them in print. A fantastic story of unconditional love and loyalty. I thoroughly recommend this, like all books I love, I didn't want it to end. I'm sorry that Jacob, Theo, Oliver and Emma aren't in my life anymore. View all my reviews >>

Quiet days continue

To say that I'm grateful for my current schedule is an understatement. There's no way I could be doing this transition time with a full time, or even a part time job outside the home. I feel very blessed that I can organize my housework and my paid work for when it suits me best. Last night I got about four and a half hours sleep....not nearly enough. It was almost 11 when I went to bed last night and then after midnight when I turned off my book, but I'm wide awake and sleep eluded me for quite some time even when I turned my book off, so I know there's no use in doing it any earlier.

The alarm awoke me this morning and I got up to a quiet household. It was raining, so still quite dim and the kids weren't in a hurry to get up either and were waiting for my cue. The school holidays are over and the early mornings are back with a vengeance. On the plus side, my chores are all done much earlier, and I start my Daisy work earlier too. The downside is, that really there's no end in sight for this side effect. I've got another six weeks on this dose before my dose is increased yet again, so this could go on for months......

Having no stock to upload at the moment, I've just been adding to the recipe archives on the site, so that's kept me out of mischief today. Although at one point I wasn't very impressed because there was an error and I couldn't access my site, neither through the front end nor the back end. It has righted itself, so I'm relieved.

I closed my eyes for a bit this afternoon with my current audio book (House Rules by Jodie Picoult) and promptly dozed off. I've had to rewind about 40 minutes of listening, because I've retained nothing. It's rare that a book puts me to sleep, an indication of how weary I am.

I'm keeping things very easy at home as far as meals are concerned. I've not got the energy or inclination to try new recipes or to cook anything complex. Last night we had a roast chicken with roast vegies which was delicious and tonight it's crumbed fish, salad and chips. Simple, fast easy fare. My main focus is keeping my house clean and tidy, washing up to date, kids' homework and reading done nightly and my Daisy work. I can prepare tasty meals which are easy, but still keep my family well fed and happy.

Looking forward to feeling better

I'm so glad we've had school holidays. Between Daisy work and resting, I've not done much else. I've not had the energy to do more than I absolutely have to. Friday I spent most of the day in bed, between getting up to make the kids their lunch and doing my washing, I felt so tired, I'd hit a wall. Not sleeping properly is beginning to take its toll. I know I probably shouldn't have gone out Friday night or Saturday, because I was pretty exhausted yesterday, but I felt like I had to get out. I needed to be with my best friends.

The kids have all had colds, sniffles, headaches and Sammy and Billy-Joes' asthma has been playing up. Thankfully they are all better now, but I have a sore throat.....it was inevitable I guess. I'm lucky it's not progressed into anything more though.

I was a bit more productive today. I cut hair, both Mickey and Billy-Joe look neater now. My washing is up to date, I did some Daisy work have a roast chicken in the oven and I finished a layout I started during one of my nocturnal scrapbooking sessions.

The kids have had a good holiday. Lots of computer play, football games, and rides on their bikes and the scooter. They've had a good rest too and are ready to go back to school. I am however not looking forward to getting up at 6.30am, when I've not been sleeping properly. It will be an interesting term.

A layout

My beautiful boys just before Christmas. The journalling tells of how much I love the fact they'll let me 'play' with taking photos. I dressed them up and we had lots of fun. Thank you to my three beautiful boys for being such good sports. Would you believe I even remembered to write down what I used.

(Jen Markatis Template

Ali Edwards Favourite Holiday Memory

Lindsay Jane 12 Days of Christmas Kit)

The night owl scrapped

Because I'm up in the middle of the night, I felt like being productive. I did this layout.

Sleeping is starting to improve

Last night I headed off to bed later, well after 11, but it's no point going earlier at the moment. I was up again at 2am and read some blogs and surfed the web until just after 3am, then I slept until just after 9am. It's the longest stretch of sleep I've had in nearly two weeks. To say I'm happy is an understatement. So glad I'm just persevering with these meds. I know too, that in six weeks when I have to increase my dose, I'll go through this again, but at least I know what to expect. The benefits will outweigh the inconvenience now.

My visit to my GP went well yesterday. She's just lovely, and thorough and knowledgeable. I don't feel like I'm some neurotic housewife when I talk to her. She understands what I'm feeling and has said to me this has been going on for far too long. No-one has ever said that to me before. I just felt like a weight lifted off me just to hear her say that.

I'm booked in to see a Rheumatologist at the end of June. My inflammatory markers are raised, as they are at every blood test I've ever had. I've been to two Rheumatologists before, once in 2002 and once in 1995, (the earlier visit I'd actually forgotten about, but Bunny reminded me). I'm going to see a young female specialist, not the same one I saw last time. I didn't want to see him again. I'm also booked in to see a psychologist in May. It will be good to sort out some things, and change my thought patterns. I know there's more potential within me, I want to find it. There are also some quite personal issues I'd like to sort out.

Overall I'm feeling positive about this whole process. My GP has also suggested that I could see an Exercise something or other....far out the title of this person escapes me. They are a cross between a physio and a personal trainer. He would look at my problems - shoulder and achilles and design an exercise program for me. He works from the gym where I used to attend. It's something I will keep in mind. Not working full days anymore, I can fit a gym program into my day. It would come down to affordability. I'm so aware that an aging body loses muscle mass, and I hate that.......I know weight training etc will tone me up again.

Today was a good day. It's the first day I've not struggled with staying awake in the afternoon. I did my Daisy work, and Barbi came for coffee in the afternoon which was just lovely. We talked a little about the store and a lot about other things too. I always feel she leaves my home a little lighter than she felt when she walked in. It's nice for her to take a couple of hours out in the middle of a busy day to drink coffee and relax. We are very excited because the store went live yesterday.

Billy-Joe has cooked dinner tonight. Butter Chicken, which is currently smelling delicious as it simmers away on the stove. He's getting a little more confident in the kitchen which is great. There's no way I'm rearing a child who is useless in the kitchen, thankfully all three kids enjoy helping in the kitchen, and it's something I need to continue to encourage.

Easter Monday

As a family it would be so nice if we could have more holidays. I know I'm lucky to have school holidays off with the kids, but it's so nice to have dear Bunny home too. Mind you, he's been dreadfully busy mowing half the street, (he looks after the yards of the two old ladies across the road), plus ours, so that's several hours of work, included in that, he whipper snips and prunes our garden, so it looks gorgeous. Had to have it lovely for Easter Sunday. With all the rain we've had of late, everything is looking so healthy, lush and green.

It's been so nice to just chill out together. I went outside for a bit and pottered in the garden and then threw the footy to Mickey. You always know how much stuff like that means, when you're told 'You're the best Mum in the world'. Actually I've seen a personality shift in Mickey of late, and it's for the better. He's becoming a very caring little boy. He's becoming a child who is thinking of others and not just himself. He knows I've had problems sleeping and asks me every single day how I slept. At the end of a school day he always asks me how my day was, because I always ask them. Ever since Izzy was ill, he asks after her every afternoon too. When I got up on Sunday morning, all the shoes from the front door were put away, mine were neatly placed outside my bedroom door and the mat I use at the door was straightened out neatly. Mickey had done that, without being asked. He's the one who goes outside when Bunny is doing yards, to see what he can do to help. When I was changing my medication and knew I'd be feeling a bit fragile for a bit, I told both Mickey and Billy-Joe, and they've been so sweet to me. Sammy, alas is still too egocentric, and I didn't pull him aside. He'd not understand and I don't want to scare him.

On that note, I'm amazed at how well I actually feel. I'm still not sleeping, last night I got up at 2.15am, stayed up for an hour and a quarter and then went back to bed and slept well until 8.30am. I get moments during the day where I don't think I can keep my eyes open. Sometimes I get up and do something, or else I'll just close my eyes for 15 minutes. I'm going back to my GP tomorrow, and it will be interesting what she says. I know she'll probably want to increase the dosage, as what I'm on now is the start dose.

I feel different within myself. I am quietly excited and very happy about it. I feel as though I have more patience and I'm much calmer. I don't feel like everything is a hassle or a big deal. Even though I'm not sleeping well, I get up in the morning happier than what I did before. I normally wake up on the weekend, and secretly wish I could just hibernate there all day long.....not good!

I've been busy today, the washing was huge, but it's all done and inside now. Bunny listened to the races this afternoon in between pottering in the garden with me. Billy-Joe headed down to the park for a couple of hours with some friends.

I was going to do a layout today. I've got some photos I need to edit. When I get up in the night, I've been downloading a couple of free kids. I don't do a lot of free ones, because I usually don't end up using them , but every now and again I find something that's gorgeous, I guess I've just become more choosy and I know what I like.

I'm glad I've got the next few days off. I'd like to take the kids somewhere, pity everything costs so much. They've been playing outside all afternoon which is great. So nice that it's not raining and no longer so dreadfully hot. The weather has just been gorgeous.

Easter Weekend

Yesterday morning, we headed out to see Peter's parents. We had a lovely morning. His eldest sister was there too and it was nice to see her too. After morning tea, the kids watched a movie and we sat and chatted.

When we got home just after lunch, I got the kids lunch and then prepared the food for Sunday's lunch. I'm glad I did that, it meant Sunday morning wasn't frantic. I laid down in the afternoon with some music. I didn't sleep, but enjoyed the rest. I'm still not sleeping well at night, so by mid afternoon, I hit a brick wall, and can't even concentrate on anything anymore.

In the evening we went to Mum and Dad's. It was a great fun night. Not having seen my brother since Christmas, it was awesome to spend the evening with him, Dee and the girls. We shared a yummy dinner and lots of laughs. The kids had a great time, although were very weary. We came home around 9.30pm and the kids were happy to go to bed. Mickey's eyes were red he was that tired.

I went to bed after 10, optimistic for a good night, seeing as I'd not napped in the afternoon and I was very very tired. I'd downloaded a sleep app from iTunes............and listened to it 5 times during the course of bed time to 2.50am. By 4.30am I got up and browsed the web. The netski is surprisingly speedy at that hour of the morning!! I took advantage of the off peak download time, seeing as I'm currently over my percentage of use, compared to days passed, and an hour later, I felt snoozy and headed back to bed. For the next three hours, I actually slept!

After a cereal for breaky, I cleaned, tidied, and made a yummy Lemon Slice with Sammy and Billy-Joe while Mickey helped Daddy outside in the yard.

At 12.30pm Mum and Dad arrived and it was drinks all round and some light nibblies. Lunch was a BBQ. We had marinaded pork ribs, marinaded chicken skewers and snagglepusses. I made a crunchy noodle salad and Mum brought her delicious coleslaw that we all love.

We ate lunch late, true to our usual form, and whiled away the afternoon enjoying each others' company. The Easter Bunny brought eggs in the afternoon and the kids enjoyed hunting for them. I'll upload photos from today on another day. I really should go to bed and try to get some sleep.

My gorgeous boys and my two beautiful girls. They're my nieces and not my daughters but they're the closest I have to daughters and I love them to bits.

Julia and Kiana trying to show that Billy-Joe is taller than they are, even though they both tower over him lol......

Me with my gorgeous nieces.

And on it goes

Day 5 of Cymbalta, and not much has changed. I've not slept well again, about four hours. I went to bed a little later than normal and then listened to my audiobook for 2 hours. I'd downloaded a relax/meditation app from iTunes and that seemed to help me go to sleep. Prior to that I kept tossing and turning, with this my body became calmer.

I did my chores this morning,which were pretty up to date. I laid down awaiting my groceries. Once they'd arrived and were packed away I put on my jammies and snoozed for a couple of hours. By the time I went to Daisy's I felt good. Even better for the fact I fitted into my Jag jeans, which I've not been able to wear for months. Suzy came tonight, which was lovely. I'd wanted to prepare some card making ideas, I want to colour with my Copics but instead I just played with some patterned papers, a new punch Karen bought and made a few gift cards. Nothing elaborate, but pretty enough. I enjoyed playing and chatting. I actually ate some dinner which was delicious and only a portion of what I'd normally eat which I'm ecstatic about. Karen had made her Easter Egg slice. I had a small piece and it was decadent. I'm so pleased I didn't take any home. I honestly don't know what's gotten into me lol...me refuse slice!!!!

I had a lovely night, and enjoyed the company of my friends. One of whom is very sad at the moment, and I really felt for her last night and have been thinking of her all day today. I'm sitting in my owl pyjamas she bought me for my birthday and thinking of her.

Day 6 (I think)
I got about three and a half hours sleep, awoke, and listened to my meditation on my iPhone, and I dozed off again, so I was happy about that. Bunny came in for a cuddle and then called me for a cooked breakfast of brewed coffee, a poached egg on a delicious wholegrain bread...... I ate a couple of mouth fulls of egg and drank half a coffee and I was full. Mickey sat beside me and ate two eggs and toast!! He'd already had cereal too.

I felt weary in the afternoon, laid down with my audiobook but didn't sleep which is good. I don't want to sleep in the afternoon, but some days I've just hit a wall and have had no choice. I got up and coloured in Pokemon pictures with Mickey which was lovely. Billy-Joe and Bunny went to play golf, so the house was quiet, with just the three of us.

I am feeling good. My head hasn't been cloudy today, and while my feet are still cold in the evening and I sweat profusely, I think it's easing a bit. I don't know whether it's my imagination or not, but I'm feeling I have a bit more patience with the kids, like I used to have when I only had one child lol....... It's either that or the less stress from not working full days, is helping this come back. I'm not sure, but I'm not questioning it. The last few days I've been very quiet, but I feel peaceful. Even with the ratty sleep patterns this transition has been much better than last time. Having the peace and quiet to be able to lie down is a huge plus. Even when the kids are all home, I can lie down and they are quiet and well behaved.

It feels funny being home on a Friday night, can't remember the last time I did that, probably last Good Friday.

I'm looking forward to spending the weekend with my family and hope my friends have a wonderful Easter too.

Day 4 Cymbalta and other random ramblings

I'm going to have to investigate something to help me sleep. I'm basically going to bed at the moment, because that's what you do at night time. I went to bed just after 11 because I felt quite weary. I'd been talking to Karen on the phone which was nice. Phone conversations in a quiet household are actually really pleasant lol....... No one needed us and we could hear!!

To bed at 11, still awake at 1am. I didn't want to listen to my book, it's nearing the end and I know it's going to be exciting. Reading that is not conducive to sleep. I thought that surely, once my feet warmed up I'd be able to sleep. I awoke before 5am and went out and spoke to Peter for a bit. He was stunned to see me lol......

Feel a bit jaded this morning but not too bad. I hope the sweating and the cold feet (and nose) abates today......

I've had a busy morning. Have dusted, washed, thrown stuff in the dryer and hung some things out (the perpetual optimist)!! Yes, that's right, it's raining yet again. Fortunately my line is totally under cover, so things do have a chance if the rain holds off for a few hours at least. Ironing done, washing machine cleaned out. Updates for Mac OS X downloaded and installed.

Actually don't know how I've managed to download those updates. My internet usage is high again this month, so all big downloads are happening in the morning, during my 'off peak' time. The updates were a half a GB, so I've done that already. My internet, however is painfully, painfully slow. I'm wondering if Optus have slowed me down because I'm leaving to go to another ISP, and they've effectively turned off my DSL connection......or turned it 'down' to dial up speed.......I can't work with that, can't even use it. You ever tried to access Facebook at dial up speed?? I've got work to do on the 'net, thank goodness I've got my mobile USB modem. I couldn't even use iChat with my normal connection, and that peeved me most of all. I've got my modem in bridge mode, using my time capsule as the router. I don't want to change all the settings just to ring Optus only to be told, yes I've been shut down, although I don't understand that.

4.00pm
Internet, seems fine now. Something is definitely going on, because it was painfully slow last night and then it was good this morning for a bit. If they've put the brakes on me, then it wouldn't go back up again. I"m glad now I didn't waste precious time by ringing.

I've felt pretty lousy today. I've had a headache since this morning, which pain meds haven't touched. I dozed for just over an hour in the middle of the day, I was exhausted and couldn't keep my eyes open when I sat down to the computer to do some site work.

I got up and with the slow USB modem, I did some Daisy work, it was painfully slow too, don't know what was up with that, the speeds are normally good. I got nearly all the Jenni Bowlin stuff up that Suzy mentioned to me last week. I did Cosmo Cricket and Crate Paper yesterday, so this week hasn't been too bad so far.

Dinner is spaghetti bolognese, but I don't feel like that. Don't know if I'll have anything, or if I'll just have pesto with my pasta instead. At this stage, I could easily have nothing.

I'm going to have another lie down......so so tired.

Day 3 Cymbalta

I didn't go to bed until nearly midnight last night. I stayed up and finished my book. I'm so glad I did. It didn't take too long and I fell asleep. I still didn't get enough sleep last night, but it was much better. I didn't have any dinner last night, I couldn't stomach anything. I just had a cup of tea.

This morning I went without breakfast as I had to fast for a blood test. I had a bowl of cereal when I got home.

My feet aren't as cold so far today, but they were earlier, even my nose was freezing. I'm sweating a lot more too. It's a comfortable 24 degrees and parts of me are feeling cool and the rest of me is sweating.

I'm looking forward Easter more now, and feeling better about it. I'm tolerating these new meds thus far much better than any change over before. I'm a little tired, but that's to be expected.

Izzy was spayed yesterday. She's doing very well. I'm amazed at how quickly she's recovered. She was outside today, and didn't even mope around yesterday after she came home, she wasn't groggy at all. Even animals recover quicker from surgery these days to what they used it.

Day 2 Cymbalta.....continued

Picture this. It's a warm day. I'm wearing a singlet and a pair of shorts, the fan is on, I'm sweating and........wearing thick socks!!!! My feet are still soooo cold!! On consulting Dr. Google, I did find this can be a side effect....... I hope it goes away, as I hate cold feet, especially in summer!!!

Day 2 Cymbalta

Suffice to say I won't be going to bed at my normal time tonight. It was almost 1am and I was still awake. I woke up far too early too. My 25 hour audio book is getting read a lot quicker than I expected. Normally I can listen to my book for about 20-40 minutes depending on how tired I am. I'm making myself turn it off after two and a half!! I may as well get up if I can't sleep. I can always do some work, or read.

I did a good amount on my web site and popped in and saw my parents this morning. It was lovely seeing them and my Dad paid me a pretty awesome comment as he said I'd lost some weight. That made my day!

I had a nap this afternoon for about 30 minutes. I don't know how wise it was, but four a night sleep three nights in a row, can't be good, although I'm amazed how I don't feel dead on my feet. I'm very thirsty on the new tablets and I'm not hungry. I'm cooking Chilli Con Carne for dinner, and I won't be having anything.I've got enough condition on me lol, so it won't hurt.

Billy-Joe is playing union further up the coast and thank goodness dear Bunny is going to pick him up, they won't be home until about 6.30pm. The littlies can eat earlier.

Izzy was spayed today. She's very happy to be home, and is surprising me by walking around. Mickey was shocked when he saw her shaved area and the scar. He turned away and I thought he was going to cry. It didn't look bad at all. There's no coloured disinfectant on it and the scar is one a human would be happy to have. Ah well it's another lesson, along with explaining what she actually had done. She was on heat, and thankfully not pregnant. It wouldn't have made any difference if she was pregnant, but it's nice to know I've not aborted anything.

I'm looking forward to Easter - I think. I"m not sure how I'll be feeling, and at the moment, sitting somewhere quietly sounds like a really nice idea..... On Saturday I want to go and see Peter's parents and then on Saturday night I'll be at my parents' house. On Sunday my parents will come to us for lunch. So it's a busy weekend ahead. My brother will be here with is wife, so that's special as we've not seen him since Christmas.

Day 1 Cymbalta

I had another so so night. Mickey and Billy-Joe wanted to 'camp' out in the front yard (our backyard, while large, has no flat area, the front pocket is the only flat treeless area).

We enjoyed our nice dinner and I took myself to bed at 10pm. I didn't think I'd make it that late considering my state of not enough sleep. I listened to my audio book, and it was midnight, before, still wide awake I turned off my iPhone. I got up twice to check on the kids, the yobboes up the road were having a party and were parked on the road and were noisy........so every time I heard a noise closer, I checked. Then the cherubs in their eternal wisdom came inside just after 6.30am. I'd just been awoken by Billy-Joe's alarm!!!! I dozed for a bit and then got up to a cooked breakfast. By this time I was as cranky as hell. The kids know to be quiet when they are up. Normally they are really good, but considering they'd got up so early, the quiet wore off far too soon. Three of them in Billy-Joe's room is okay when all is calm but not when they start getting restless. The downside of a tiny house, there is nowhere quiet, but I do prefer them in the lounge.....ah well. I'm lucky I can lie in though.

I enjoyed my deliciously cooked breakfast, of scrambled eggs on toast with fresh parsley and chives, juice and brewed coffee. I took my first pill. It's an hour lady and I don't feel good. The dark mood has increased, the head is foggy and my mouth tastes like crap and is dry.

In between having breakfast and getting organized, I've had to supervise kids putting the tent away. Funny how they're all keen to put it up, (which I basically did lol) but you have to harangue them to bring everything inside. It rained in the night (what's new) and some of their stuff got wet. I've hung a load out, and am questioning my wisdom as it's teeming again!!! So over this rain! The dams have been overflowing for weeks now, so I know no one in this region is disadvantaged if it doesn't rain for the time being.

I hope I get some work done......I may have to forgo my pay and take the time off. I'll see how I go though, because I don't want to do that. If I keep everything else really quiet, and I don't feel any worse, I should still get there.

Work, health, eyes, shopping and dragons

I'm still busy on the website, although this week my work has been in dribs and drabs. I only had Monday and part of Tuesday where I got a solid go at it, and I've had to squeeze in the time where I could all over the place, so, not as structured as I'd like. I think I'll do some on the weekend, and then I'll feel I've done a good amount. Last week was full of hiccups and my time was wasted trouble shooting, which I don't feel good about, so in the next few weeks, I want to put in extra to make up for it. It's close to becoming live, which is exciting, but I want quite a few more patterned papers on there before we do that though. I was working on it the other morning and was blown away because there were 52 people online. It was so funny because both Barbi and I wondered if they were all hackers lol.......that's a lot of people on a site where not much is happening yet.

My week was full of interruptions because of medical appointments. My physio has been looking after me for a few years now, and on my last appointment I started to cry as I told her I was so happy she was leaving to have a baby, but sad that she could no longer look after me. I told her my pain levels are increasing and I don't know what to do. While my shoulder is better, I still suffer badly. If I spend too much time at a time working on the site, my arm aches. Even though I"m not actually typing, and I have an extremely sensitive touch pad and my arm is completely supported, my forearm carries a lot of strain and this then puts pressure on my upper arm and shoulder. Even when my shoulder eases, there are many things I really catch me unawares, or where I grit my teeth before I do the movement. Even lifting the doona over my body as I roll over causes it to aches and catch.

My pectorals ache, my forearms hurt in the trigger points, my achilles are no better. That doesn't even cover the neck pain and shoulder pain which is very often present. My physio has been crucial in my pain management. With her manipulations, massage and acupuncture, I have relief for about ten days...... While I used to believe this meant I was 'healed', I now just make the most of the lull and know with absolute certainty that my pain will return. I have tried anti inflammatories and they do nothing anymore so I have stopped taking them: no need to subject my body to them and risk any stomach damage. I depend on paracatomol and ibuprofen, generally using them together for pain relief and management.

While I realize I could easily be mistaken for a malingerer or hypochondriac, I'm heartened by Carlie's faith in me, her belief in my pain levels and her desire to help me further. She's convinced there's something systemic going on as I have too many problem areas, which are now all chronic. While my current GP is good for the normal day to day stuff, I don't feel like he has the wherewithal or even the desire to really investigate me. I want questions asked, and I'm not getting that? I need someone who is prepared to take the time to investigate me properly. Carlie recommended a very thorough GP for me to visit, and lady doctor, whom she'd had favourable dealings with and good results with other patients.

In fairness to the few other GPs I've visited in recent years, I can't lay the blame at their door. I've often addressed my issues, but it's only ever the problem that is the worst at that time. I've never gone to a doctor and asked that all my issues be addressed at once. Perhaps having worked at a surgery before, I understand, that the 'shopping list' approach by patients is often not looked upon favourably......this train of thought has probably been to my detriment.

The doctor I saw on Tuesday, was forthright, friendly, interested and showed a genuine wish to help me. From the moment I sat down I felt comfortable and didn't feel like I was whining. She asked questions I've never been asked before....... She questioned me about my depression, and I spoke of my anxiety attacks which I've been plagued with for the last three Christmases, the last one I actually sought help and was given medication which made the Yuletide Season even better than it would have been. Much nicer to not have that constant feel of dread accompanied with a racing heart. I wanted to feel in my body like I felt in my head. Calm, organized and happy. At first the doctor said it might be worth considering I see a psychologist as depression is so often tied in with inflammatory problems such as she suggested I may have. The diagnoses she presented as possibilities were Seronegative Arthritis and Fibromyalgia Rheumatica. The doctor suggested I read up on both of those. On reading, I found that the once mysterious fibromyalgia which was often a euphemism for a malingering lazy sod.....(in my opinion - gathered from reading and how this was viewed by others) was now proven to have a basis in medical fact. Inflammation does exist and is the cause of this illness. This coupled with my depression is possibly the root of my pain. As this never goes away, there are just degrees of pain, it gets better, but never completely goes away and the intensity when it's worse also varies.

On the psychological front I will consult a psychologist, I'm a cynic and dubious as to how this will work, but realize that this will work hand in hand with all my treatment. I understand I need a holistic approach. Added to this I am changing my anti depressants. I am nearing the end of my 'wash out' of my current meds, and apart from barely sleeping, and bad dreams I'm feeling okay. The interesting and more unpleasant phase will begin when I start my new medication on Monday. My saving grace this time, is that I don't have a toddler and a baby to contend with while I'm feeling dead on my feet from fatigue and ill from the meds, with headaches and nausea. I will be able to lie down and take things easy. On the physical side of things, I will have a blood test done and then we can go from there. My ESR is always elevated, and I know this is a result of inflammation in the body. I will be curious how that result is.

I feel good about this direction, and I have faith in my new GP.

I had my eyes checked during the week too. My prescription has changed slightly so I need new glasses and I'm investigating getting contact lenses. I went there 7 times this week. Once for my appointment and then six times to have a trial pair of lenses in and out. So far I've not worn a pair where I can see properly, but the optometrist hasn't given up. Those 7 visits meant my Daisy work was all over the place.

By Friday, I needed a break. No appointments, no housework, no work. I spent the day with one of my closest friends and we whiled away the time. We drank coffee, shopped in Myer, had a delicious lunch at the Turkish Restaurant, and planned our trip to the movies for the next day. I also looked at glasses frames, and enjoyed having Suzy tell me what she thought. In years past I've bought them with my Mum, but have chosen the last two pairs on my own. It's always nice having a second opinion. I saw some gorgoeus frames, with of course an equally gorgeous price tag.... Why can't I like cheap crappy stuff????

Scrapping last night was lovely as always. I enjoy spending time with Barbi and Karen. Barbi and I debrief after the week and it's my precious catch up time with Karen. It's wonderful how a few hours where you're not anything other than being yourself, (you're not a Mum, wife, house cleaner, organizer of all things, just yourself).... can make you feel rejuvenated and a little stronger for the next week ahead. We talk about a wide range of things, from the flippant and funny, to the deep, dark and worrisome. A sanctuary of friendship that offers a haven of love, advice and support. A powerful combination.

I came home last night, late as per usual. I was about to crawl into bed when I noticed lots of black 'dots' all over my wall............ The corner of my room right near my bed was covered in hundreds of baby spiders. (Huntsmen, my dear Bunny tells me this afternoon!!) I sprayed them, couldn't vacuum them up because of the late hour and just crawled into my bed. 2.30am and I was still wide awake, listening to my audiobook, no where near the land of nod! A little while later the tell tale beeping of a fire alarm, meant I had to go and get a chair and dismantle the fire alarm, so that peace was restored...... I got to sleep around 4am. Once the boys left for golf, I slept a little deeper, but this was riddled with horrid dreams, and the same dream over and over. I was dreaming that I was trying to sleep, and my house was being broken into. My house was being robbed and I was so afraid for my MacBook. By the time I got up I was happy to see that it was bright and cloudless outside and my house was safe, as was my MacBook.

I arrived at the Plaza a little earlier than needed so I could ply myself with a good strong coffee. Suzy had a headache, so we were a fine pair, and were looking forward to spending a relaxing time together, yet again. We saw 'The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo'. The movie was awesome. Not only did I enjoy the story and how well it emulated the book, I loved the 'realness' of it. The non Hollywood feel for the movie, gave it even more credibility. Can't wait to see the next two movies. We ate some sushi after the movie, and then went our separate ways. I I went to the Spectacles Superstore, which was a tragic misnomer of a business. Not only was there nothing super about this tiny store, it was closed, on a Saturday afternoon on the coast, woeful when you think there are many optometrist chains open all over the coast on the weekend.

I've been home for a while now, I've cleaned the bathroom, done some washing, put up a tent, vacuumed up dead spiders and have spent the last hour doing my blog entry, rather than the Daisy work I'd considered doing....... That can be done tomorrow.

I've bought some lamb cutlets for dinner and I'm making a tabouleh as well. I've got some yummy fresh avos and I'm trying to figure out how to add them in.....

Love, loss, faith and friendship

As the helplessness threatens to drag me down, my faith lifts me up. I have a couple of friends, who I count amongst my closest who are suffering deeply at the moment. One has lost a family member in an untimely manner and another is going through a separation at a time when her health is not the best.

I have the propensity for taking another's sadness onboard, which in turn creates stress and heartache for me. Someone I care about hurts, then so do I. It's the natural order of friendship. That's when my faith helps me. I take comfort, that my control freak abilities, are of no use here what so ever! I can't take away the hurt, I can't 'make things better'. I know when I'm beaten and when it's time to hand over to God. I also take comfort knowing that he watches over my friends, and that they can and do call on Him.

I pray that You bring them peace and comfort. I pray they can sleep well and that they are easy on themselves. I pray that the nights aren't haunted. I pray that they're days will have lots of love and laughter so that the sad moments are easier to bear. Amen.

Stieg Larsson - The Millenium Trilogy

I have just finished the second book in this trilogy. I found 'The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo' slow going at first but am pleased that I persevered. The second book 'The Girl who Played with Fire', was a fantastic book, I was unable to put it down. I'd downloaded it in ebook format and read for most of the afternoons on the weekend. I was most upset, when for some reason the last part of the ebook was missing!!! I spent about two hours trying to find it to download it again. I downloaded the audiobook version and had to leave it overnight. Unfortunately the recording was not complete and when I synced my iPhone in the morning, only a third of the book was on my iPhone!! I tried to purchase the book then, via various ebook sites, but it's geographically restricted. In the end I bought the book so I could listen to the last part. I'm so glad I did, it was gripping.

Lisbeth Salander is a brilliant young woman, whose never been acknowledged for her many skills. She's created an insular being out of her self. She has no use for others, has no knowledge of how to cultivate a friendship, or how to live a normal life. As the books go on, you learn why she is how she is, and I just kept marvelling at her brilliance. Her survival skills and clever planning are nearly her undoing though, and the ending of the second book was riveting. In the first book she becomes an unlikely researcher for Mikael Blomkvist, a journalist. He features in both books, and even though they don't even speak to one another in the second book, their bond is unbreakable.

I'm so excited that the first book is released this week. I will go and see it, and I can't wait.

No other news. Everyone here is fine. Sammy had a great time at camp. He coped well with the different routine and was very happy while away. His asthma was better by the time he came home, so no dramas there. Everyone is well and looking forward to the Easter break. This term has gone very quickly.

Monday Morning

I've been on the hunt for a new blogging program. I've used MacJournal, which is great, but doesn't support uploading images to Blogger. I've also tried Journler, but it doesn't support image uploads either. I've tried Ecto and it crashed. Picasa uploads photos successfully to Blogger, but only four at a time, which is annoying sometimes. Now I'm trialling Blogo, it uploads images fine, and resizes them too which is great. I hope the new iPhoto will support image uploads.

Izzy went to the vet this morning for her second round of vaccinations. In two weeks she'll be neutered. Sammy went to the GP, his asthma has flared up and is quite worrying. It's still not something I've come completely to grips with. Asthma is one of those things that many people become complacent about and are also basically ignorant about, probably because it's so prevalent amongst kids. The bottom line is Asthma is unpredictable and a killer!! Certainly not to be taken lightly or without the correct treatment. Sammy is going to his first camp on Wednesday and I want him to be as well as can be, and to have his asthma plan all up to date, in the event that something happens. Thankfully they're in civilization and close to medical facilities.

Actually one thing I really like about this program is that you can drag and drop pics - very helpful. I've got some Daisy work done today, not as much as I'd like to though. Being out with appointments this morning put the kibosh on that.

I am really enjoying reading and listening to audiobooks at the moment. I'm into reading Harlan Coben as recommended by my good friend Sheree. I'm also reading the millennium series by Stieg Larsson at the moment. I am trying to get my Dad into audiobooks, but unfortunately my purchased ones don't work on his computer.

More pics

Have a moment to update some more before my parents come for lunch. Lunch is roast pork, sauerkraut, dumplings and apple sauce, with an apfel strudel with cream and ice cream for dessert. Should be delicious. Mum makes the sauerkraut, it's a combined thing normally, and I've made three strudels. The roast is in the oven and smells divine. I've filled it full of garlic and rosemary last night. I hate the smell of garlic in the morning as much as I love the taste of it with a meal........makes me feel ill. So I'm pleased I did it last night. I slept in this morning and had a slow start which was lovely.

The above layout is a template by Karla Dudley, (I think)....... the photos are of a birthday party Mickey was invited to. I've had it open and unfinished for two weeks in PSE. I stil don't think it's finished. Not sure what else to add though. Love the clean lines of it and the colours. I'm doing heaps with turquoise, aquas, greens and blues of late, I just love it. I'm feeling the urge to play with a little pink too, so will make some pink cards I think.

On the weight loss front, I've lost enough that I no longer feel gross, but still nowhere near where I want to be. I'm not journalling and watching every mouthful.....

Parents are here...back later.

A pictorial update

My Mermaid cards

Birthday Anya - The Greeting Farm stamp

Some gift tags I made

A card I made I'm not all that happy with.

I just love these mermaid cards, they're completely card lifted and I've used The Greeting Farm, stamp. I love these stamps, love their anime like cuteness and they're perfect for use with Copic markers.

Apologies for the higgeldypigeldyness of my photos. Blogger doesn't make it easy to upload several photos. I've got more but have guests coming for lunch so had better hop to it!!

Update

* I could quite easily update my blog every single day. I have the time, just generally not the inclination.

Weight loss is travelling along well. I've lost around 3kgs. Not being too pedantic with the scales and I'm not tracking my food. I eat no morning or afternoon tea unless it's fruit, and I'm eating less at dinner time. On my last check up at the doctor, all my blood test results were good, including BP.

* I’m frustrated because I can't exercise. I tried for three weeks but my achilles has just worsened again. Not sure what to do next. It seems I get about 10 days coverage after I've been to the physiotherapist and then worsens after that. I just can’t afford weekly treatment...... I’ve read lots about it, and I’m doing all the right things, but wish I could have more massage therapy.

* Izzy was very sick two weeks ago. $220 later, antibiotics and even an overnight stay at the vet's and she's all good now. Thank goodness. I was very worried about her. I’m taking her for her vaccinations today, then I’ll let her outside again. She’s desperate to go out and explore and it’s getting harder every day to keep her inside.

* I went on retreat last weekend, which was great fun. I was soooooo tired afterwards, I swear it gets harder at every one, and I didn't even stay as late as I normally do. Sat next to Suzy all weekend, and enjoyed the company immensely. Got to see Alaine and Sheree from Brisbane which was a highlight. I don't see them nearly often enough and love catching up with them. I wished we lived closer to one another. It's a special friendship which I am sure would deepen if we were closer. One of my closest friends, whom I'd dearly love to spend more time with, couldn't be there. We're only at a retreat together once a year....... :( I missed her and wished she'd been with us, especially when we were laughing hard ........Karen would have just cracked up, and made me laugh all the more. I can control myself in a situation, but when someone close to me laughs I just lose it. At one point I'd recovered from laughing at someone, and Suzy was laughing quietly with her head down, and my resolve just disappeared lol......the mirth bubbles up inside me and just spills over. Nothing like laughter!

I am beginning to use my Copics better, it definitely is practise. The stamps from the Greeting Farm are just gorgeous. I've bought one digi one and two rubber ones. I've found a few new blogs to inspire me, and it's cool exploring new techniques.

* I have digi scrapping that I want to do. My photos come up as my screensaver and remind me of the stories I still need to tell. I pulled out one of my albums the other day and fell in love with the stories and the photos. It doesn't matter if I don't paper scrap, but I need to do something and the stories need telling and the photos need documenting. My plan is to go through my pics, and create a workflow, from editing to final layout.

* Both my parents got the all clear recently after medical check-ups were instigated after suspicious symptoms. A wonderful relief to us all. I know they’re getting older, and I’ll keep praying that illnesses stay away. They are planning on going up north to visit Ricky and Dee, and to explore a bit too. It will be good for them. They are waiting for the cooler weather. This summer has been a hot one, and I know I am not alone looking forward to the cooler months.

* I have been listening to all the Michael Connelly novels and am deeply immersed in 9 Dragons at the moment. They’re great books, not generally bedtime fare as they’re murder/mystrey but I just love reading them and I love the main character. I’m really sad though as I’m up to his second last book. I’ve got one more to listen to and then I’ll be waiting for his new release this year. Harry Bosch, is the main character a Detective working for the LAPD. He’s in his 50’s, so I don’t know for how much longer Michael Connelly can keep using him. The previous book I read was called ‘Brass Verdict’ it was centred around Mickey Haller, with only appearances by Harry, and I enjoyed it must as much, so when Harry retires, I’ll still remain a fan of the author.

* I have been working hard trying to get Daisy's up to par. Slowly but surely I'm beginning to be more comfortable with Joomla. I can even add menus now, which sounds simple but not so when you're teaching yourself. Can't wait to see the store actually working as I'm desperate to know if I've set it up right.

* I know I’ve got more to add, but it escapes me at the moment. Best upload this, and hope it’s not too long between posts again.