Saturday, July 02, 2005

The sun is out......

It's me again! I know, I know, I don't post here nearly often enough.........sometimes I feel as if I have nothing to say.......

The sun is shining today, and with the disappearance of the clouds and incessant rain, has gone my melancholy mood. I hate the rain.................it pi**es me off no end to have it raining, day in day out..... I have always hated it........... Since I have had children, I find it even a bigger inconvenience... My car isn't parked undercover, so by the time I buckle kids into car seats, thankfully now it's only one, and get into the car myself, I am drenched!!!! If I were an octopus, I could wrangle all that with a brolly, but that wouldn't work............

The school holidays are drawing to an end and my three boys have barely been able to play outside.......not good for their energy levels or my sanity :)

Thank God for day care and a great holiday care program.......they have somewhere fun to go where they don't get roused at!! Their friends are there and they organize some great activities.......I take my hat off to those women.....

On the weightloss front, I am feeling good. I haven't lost any in the last couple of weeks, but haven't put any on either, so that makes me happy. I have started walking again as of today..........(did I tell you how much I hated the rain???)................ The sun is shining and it is a magical day. Just gorgeous. I walked my 4km and feel fantastic.

I contemplate my weight loss journey every day......sometimes I feel good about it like today and sometimes I just wonder what the hell am I doing in this fat body???? As my youngest turns 4 on Tuesday, I have been thinking back to his babyhood, and have realized just how far I have come with my weight. I was just under 90kg when he was born accccckkkkk.....................
I look back at old photos and I was quite big.......never really looked or felt that big at the time, I think God gives you Rose coloured glasses to wear for the first months after you have had a baby............thank goodness. I didn't need to be stressing about my weight at that time........

I am now 71kg!! That's almost 20kg off...............That's the big picture, not the fact that I am struggle to lose another 5kg and it's taken me forever...........I have to remind myself how far I have come. I have put the odd kilo back on again over holidays etc, and then have always lost it again........... I know I will never go back to that weight again. Now that I am actually watching my food and walking, I should see some good results soon. I know I probably don't the program (Weight Watchers) justice by allowing myself to go over in points some days, for special occassions, but I allow myself that, and I am okay with it................ This is what I figure.............
we don't have the money to go to places, we can't take the kids to the movies, theme parks, fun parks, and the like...........we do family things, which are bbqs, and dining and entertaining at home with family.........that is our life......... and I love it. And while I don't go all out and have fatty food, I do choose healthier food, if I wan to have some camenbert cheese I will have it...... I don't want to live in this state of denial......I don't want to resent the fact that this lovely food is there and I CAN't have it.............. I just know that I can't eat it every day , or I can't eat half the cheese............It's all about MODERATION!! That has always been my Mum's mantra..........in all things.........

Last weekend we celebrated my Dad's 75th birthday. We surprised him with a digital camera. It was great fun planning it.........even though I can't really afford it, but I was determined to make it happen.......... I knew that if I suggested it to Ricky, he would make it happen..............so my Dad is having loads of fun with it......can't wait to teach him how to use Photoshop Elements 3.............

Thanks for listening to me today...............

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