Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Reverb 10 Day 3

Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Author: Ali Edwards)

The moment I'm choosing to write about, wasn't during some wonderful event. Instead, it was during the early hours of the morning, many mornings in a row, around 3 or 4 am. I'd been on my new anti depressants for a few months and had started my arthritis meds and not sleeping well during the initial period. Normally this level of wakefulness would have driven me to high levels of frustration and anger at myself. Instead, I'd sit up for an hour each early morning and just enjoyed the peace, quiet and the fact that this time would soon pass. This moment was important, because of my new lease of life, and the fact I was so much happier within myself. Being an insomniac meant I could do a digi layout, surf the web, and enjoy the utter stillness of the night, without an ounce of bad feeling.

This time lasted for a few weeks. And while I often needed to have a nap in the afternoon to catch up, I coped quite well during this time. It showed me that my lighter mood, wasn't shortlived. Even now if I awake unexpectedly and can't get back to sleep, rather than tossing and turning, I listen to my audiobook, or I get my iPad and surf the web. It never takes long for the fatigue to overtake me again, and I can get back to sleep.

I can't even write about this in such a way to convey how great I feel.

Day 2 Reverb

What stops you from writing and can you eliminate it?

There's nothing that stops me from writing, as such. I just don't think of it every day. My days are so full, that I can't remember everything that I want to do, let alone physically get to it. Then, on other days I just want to do nothing, and, at other times, I just don't have the energy. Basically all those things come down to one thing ME!! Can I eliminate it? Well hardly lol,

How can this reflection manifest itself into action for 2011? I'm aware I'm the one stopping myself, consciously or unconsciously. I just have to keep this in the forefront of my mind, so that I keep at it regularly.

Monday, December 06, 2010

Reverb 10

I know how dreadful I am with projects of this nature. Project 365, was Project 2 when I did it, and I can't remember the last time I finished an entire digi scrapping class.........Anyway, seeing as this was only for a month, and I didn't need to do anything other than write, I thought I might just be able to manage this.

This project is based on the ideas from here.

Day 1. (I know I'm behind already, give me a break and I will attempt to catch up)
I need One Word that encapsulates 2010, and I have to explain why I've chosen it.

My word which encapsulates 2010 is NEW. Now I can't even remember what word I chose last year to be my word for this year, but on reflection that word captures everything for me. NEW.
NEW me
NEW body
NEW optimism
NEW me

When I look at the word, I wish, very much that I could have written, "NEW but really just the old come back"........but I can't write that.

I have felt new in so many different ways this year. Earlier this year I finally went to a new GP and poured my heart out, on the advice of my physiotherapist. I went for the holistic approach, rather than just going to the GP and addressing the worst ailment as is my general MO, I told her everything that was wrong with me........Lord only knows why I hadn't done that earlier.

The upshot was, that I went to the specialist too which has addressed my pain issues, and the new meds my GP put me on, has turned me into a new woman. A much happier woman. A woman who is now good to live with, and who has more tolerance. I like being with myself much more nowadays.

My only regret is that I hadn't been put on these meds earlier..........hence saying that I can't even say the 'new me is like the old me was' because I've never been that good before.


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