Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Overwhelmed...........

I am sitting here, relaxing for about a half hour before I get ready to go on placement again. I've done the online groceries, looked up some information about drugs I'm interested in and have tidied a little. The littlies are staying at a friends' place tonight, so the house is quiet.

Yesterday was my first day on placement. To say I felt overwhelmed was an understatement. I actually searched for a word that meant the same as overwhelmed but in noun form, so I could title my blog with it, but I couldn't find a replacement word. I'm keeping reflective journal of my days, which I may make public, depending on how much I add into it. Suffice to say, that within the first couple of hours on the ward, I'd questioned my decision.  What on God's earth was I doing here??? Added to that, the first few sets of obs I took were so wrong, that I questioned myself first before I considered that there was something wrong with my patient. I was rapt to discover that I'd made a discovery that day, and my patient was moved into a more intensive ward, where she could be monitored more closely. Another person I looked after, I could get her bp and the RN couldn't hear it, so I was stoked. I thank my own secondary hypertension or the fact that I can operate a manual sphygmomanometer.

I had a huge headache all day yesterday which so far is being kept at bay today. I started on new antihypertensives yesterday and my head felt like it was in a vice for the entire day. I'm praying it continues as it will make my day easier and less stressful.

My Dad would have been 82 today! Dear Dad, the first birthday where you're in heaven. I miss you so very very deeply and think of you everyday. I kiss your photo beside my bed and remember the funny things you've done. You're so alive in my heart and in my thoughts that I find it almost unbearable when I want to tell you something, or ring you and you're no longer here........

I love you Dad. I miss you so much.
Always and forever,
your daughter
Jenny xoxoxoxo



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