I'm just so acutely aware of how precious time is. Perhaps it's to do with the fact I'm getting older, time is whizzing by and yet I have so much I've yet to achieve in my life.
When the kids were little, I never thought I'd have this zest and zeal for a life of my own back. From the day I suspected I was pregnant with Billy-Joe my life changed irrevocably forever. In an instant I lost my selfishness and my whole life was no longer about me.
In the next 13 or so years of motherhood and two more kidlets I didn't think much about the future. Each day was about looking after my kids and my family and keeping myself as healthy as I could so I could cope with it all. Now that I've found my individuality again and now that I'm more than Mum, wife, cook and organizer I'm keenly aware that as I approach my 50th birthday that I have so much I still want to do and achieve for Me!! Sure, my family will benefit from some of it, as far as financial stability and gain goes, but for the most part this university degree is for me. I've become selfish again and with my family's blessing can pursue this new adventure and direction that my life is taking.
Stay with me, as I realize once again I've digressed, there is a point to this message.
This morning I head out to pick up my MacBook that has been in the service department of a computer store for two weeks. It has a new battery and a new cooling component fitted. I head out to the store where I dropped it off, and it's closed!!! I checked the shop hours with the technician yesterday, so someone has given me wrong information. After a quick phone call they told me that the sister store was open, not the one where I was. They'd not specified that! As I was already out and about, I headed out to the other shop. There I picked up my MacBook and thankfully I decided to stop into MaccyDs to have a coffee. Within ten minutes the computer crashed!! I took it back to the store and left it with them. I arrived back home, three hours (emptyhanded) after I'd left it for my unplanned tour of the coast.
I felt like I'd wasted three hours of my life. I wasn't angry, just a little disappointed.
Age can be wonderful at times. I don't have anger within me. I wasn't angry at the guys in the store, wasn't angry when I recounted the events to my husband. I was just a little sorry I'd lost three hours. I believe it's a gift to not have anger. I feel a peace within me which is palpable. I'm not sure what caused it. God, age, contentment, happiness? I'm not sure, a huge combination of all of those I think.
Instead of anger I drove around loving the fact I have a new little car, the day was glorious after all the rain we've had. I don't miss anger. Anger hurts and eats away at your insides. Anger wouldn't make my MacBook fixed. Anger would only damage.
I'm grateful for the peace.
I hope you have peace in your heart too.
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