Angel in my home

I've made no secret of the fact that my kids were hard work. The two youngest were too close together, coupled with my middle child having extra needs, my depression and the early years were damn hard work.......

I'm not generally one who considers their children to be perfect either. I've sat through too many conversations where Mums wax lyrical about how wonderful their kids are, and I wonder if they're living on the same planet as their kids lol...... I know we can have a blind spot where our loved ones are concerned, but common sense and reality has always prevailed with me. I have always easily acknowledged my childrens' faults as easily as I've glowed in pride when they've been praised.

Every now and again something happens which is so profound that it takes your breathe away. My kids are at a Catholic school, for many reasons. I wanted a faith based education in a small, well funded and caring community. I'm lucky I have that. I'm not Catholic but I have a faith, and a good respect of religion.

Sammy has a book which goes between school and home. It's a valuable communication tool set up initially for a child who rarely articulated what was going on around him. Today the message was a little different.... 'Sammy was uncomfortable going up for a blessing'.........

We sat down at afternoon tea and I asked him why he didn't want a blessing today in Church. He was reluctant to answer me and I could tell this was not a two minute conversation, or something to be brushed off..... I asked him if he wanted to come and talk to me on my own, and he did. There the revelation unfolded.

'Honey, why didn't you want to accept a blessing'
' I don't want a blessing, because I don't believe in the Bible'
' What don't you believe in?'
'They talk about things that aren't true. Mum I know my ancient history and they talk about slaves in the Bible and I know they came from somewhere other than what they're saying in the Bible, it's not true. How can I believe that someone touches Jesus' hand after being ill for many years and suddenly they're okay again - that just doesn't happen Mum'

Okay, deep breath here.....thinking fast here too. Thinking to myself, 'how old are you child? 9 or 19' This is not going to be an easy one.

' Sammy the Bible is based on stories, which have been handed down. Can I tell you a secret, I struggle with lots of what's in the Bible too. Maybe you just have to view them as stories, legends almost. Do you believe in Jesus?

'Yes, but only because we have AD and BC'
'It says in the Bible, that God speaks to people and I've never heard him Mummy' (he's crying at this stage.....
' Well Jesus lived. Do you believe that Jesus is the son of God?'
'No Mummy'
Shit, Lord help me I'm out of my depth here......

I continue
'Do you know the difference from right and wrong?'
'Yes Mummy'
'That's because God speaks to your heart, he tells you what to do, even though you don't 'hear' him, you feel him there'.

I think Sammy you have to have boxes in your brain, some for your ancient history knowledge and another for your Bible knowledge, and they need to be kept seperate.'
'It's so confusing Mum'
Sammy I struggle with it too,and it's okay to question things, there's nothing wrong with that, you're a smart boy and if something doesn't make sense, it's okay to make it try and make sense'
'Just keep it seperate Honey. Let's go out and have some afternoon tea'

He was still teary but held my hand and we walked out together.

'Do you think Honey, that if you believe in God, that you are not being loyal to the Egyptians?'
The tears ran freely again, hurt and dismay in his eyes. Tears of sadness at his betrayal and a disbelief that I understood.

'Honey those Egyptians and people from all the ancient civilizations that you love, would be proud to have you amongst them, and they would not be sad if you believed in God'....'You are not being disloyal'.

'Do you know how I know there's a God Sammy?'
'How Mummy?'
The tears welled up again and his beautiful face looked up at me expectantly.
'I look in your eyes Sammy and I see God. I listen to you sing and I hear Angels. You are beautiful and good and smart and you're living proof that there is a God. I was blessed when you were given to me.'

His tears ran down his face, mine rolled down mine into his hair.

Precious Blessed Child.

I love you with all my heart.

How old are you?

Deeply immersed in iPhone land......

I had a full day today. It started early, the two youngest were involved in a Book Week parade, so I needed to dress them up, thankfully I got that sorted last night and was all organized for this morning. I was rapt to leave the house, spotless and tidy and have the kids all dressed up and I was at work by 8.20am. My day was an eventful one. I had non verbal kids, one who abused me, he also went AWOL. I had another that's not keen to transition from one location to another and another who hit himself over the head. Thank goodness for assistants.... I self talk the entire time, trying to turn a situation around. I can't get angry, and definitely can't become upset. It was a hot day again today too, plus I spent time in the garden. I think the universe is trying to tell me something lol... I'm sure DB sniggers everytime I tell him I gardened lol.....

I've spent the entire evening scouring my iPhone manual. I'm very very excited as I've taught myself how to turn mp3 files into ringtones that the iPhone can recognize....... I realized today that I've spent so much time reading how to use the functions that I hadn't even worked out how to make a phone call..... Got there in the end though lol...

Time for a late cup of tea and then heading off to bed. DB has not come back upstairs, so he's fallen asleep down there..... It's feeling bizarre for an August night to be sitting here in a singlet and short pj bottoms with the fan on!!! Bizarre weather indeed.

A new member to the Apple Family

For months now I've been waiting to get my iphone. Funnily enough, my existing mobile phone just carked it. It won't even hold enough charge for a single day anymore, even though I bought anew battery. It's only out of contract in four weeks time and it's had it!!

I was going to buy the new one, the 16GB 3GS, but decided this morning that the 8GB iphone was certainly more than adequate for my needs and I would probably update in two years anyway. This has saved me quite a bit of money, so I'm rapt. I was extra lucky, because it was the last 8GB iphone in my town. The 16GB iphone is out of stock, and they couldn't even give me an ETA. Billy-Joe is beside himself because he has my old phone, but it's not good enough for him. I don't want him with a phone that will die, although he has it turned off at school all day anyway and he's pedantic about placing it on the charger everynight, so it's a short term stop gap. He has my old old phone currently, but it doesn't have bluetooth or music capabilities. I'll wait and see to decide what to do....

I should have slept today, I've got two days of work coming up. My eyes are on fire due to tiredness and the fact that the air has been so hot and dry. I had to relent and put the A/C on, it was revoltingly hot inside. It's winter for goodness sake and was 35 degrees (95F).......ridiculous!!

Scrapbooking Retreat @ Daisy's

Karen Knight and I

Just come home from a funfilled weekend @ Daisy's. Can't believe it's all over again, at least it's never long to the next one. I feel tired, but re energized in a way that can only be achieved by spending two whole days relaxing. No one to worry about, no one to cook for, or wash for or clean for......... Bliss!! I completed 3 A4 layouts and made four cards. I need to crop and edit those pics before I can upload them. I had my MacBook with me, but limited myself to spending time on it. Didn't want to waste precious retreat time computing, I can do that anytime after all..... I even left my farm fallow, so I could scrap without worrying about harvesting my crops [grin]......

The theme was Barbie's 50th Birthday, and the interpretation was very loose lol..... Karen K and I came as slumber Barbies, what an awesome way to arrive in pjs!! We even had a 'Ken' there, you can see 'him' standing behind me. He was totally in character lol and was very cheeky, thought he was in heaven with this bevy of Barbies.....

Karen Knight and I

Karen Knight, Lisa Webb, Lisa Hayes and Kim Zerner......

It was fabulous catching up with Kim. We only know each other through the retreats and have become friends even though we don't contact one another much after the retreats. I set up a Facebook page for her over the weekend, so hopefully we can keep in touch more that way. Karen Knight was positively glowing with her beautiful baby bump, new hairdo and a lovely relaxed attitude, she's a beautiful girl with a tender heart, thank you Karen, for adding something special to my weekend. Lisa Hayes and Lisa Webb - thank you both, for your entertaining banter, even though you informed me that I had a flat head (lol.....)!!! Kim, so glad you make the long journey to join us, hope you had a fab time... Two of my closest friends were unable to come this weekend, and I missed them very much. I'm already looking forward to the October card retreat to spend time with Suzy, and unfortunately won't spend another with Karen B until February 2010. Thank goodness she's booked in because retreats for next year are booked out already. For Karen and I, this is nice time which is rare for us together. We can converse and not be interrupted and I love seeing her relax. With Suzy we can discuss out 'geeky' issues together and catch up with what the many emails can't always sort out.

I've come home to a spotless house, a load of swimming clothes from this morning, washed and ready to be hung out, a dishwasher full of clean dishes, and everything else in place. I am truly blessed to be able to enjoy these sojourns with my girlfriends and know that I come home to a happy family and order.