Love this photo

Baby of mine

Michael Luke
Mickey
Mickey Mouse
Mim
Bream
Mim the Bream
Brimula X the Oil that Protects

Baby of Mine.

Happy Birthday Sweet Little Man - you light up my every single day. Every day you grow up just a little more, your independence becomes stronger, you become a little smarter, a little kinder, and a little sweeter - it gives me wonderful furtive glimpses of the man that you will become.

Happy Birthday Sweetheart.

Smile

Things that made me smile today
*Lady Grey Tea
*Kids playing together without bickering
*Smelling Chocolate cake baking in the oven
* Sleeping in
* Another part of the house with new paint on it
* Spontaneous hugs and kisses.

Too long between photos

For all the time I have been playing with organization and things, I haven't done much editing.

Some favourites of mine from our picnic on Tuesday.

Sammy loves to cook the bbq, and really drives Opa insane.....cool photo though - shows both their emotions perfectly.

He loves animals - it brings a peace within him which is quite precious to behold.

School holiday bliss

The first week of the school holidays is well and truly nearly finished. I wish the holidays wouldn’t go by so quickly. In some ways I have less time to myself, because there are others to look after during the day, but I do prefer the easiness of the days. I love the fact I don’t have one eye on the clock all day - meeting appointments, school commitments, work commitments, and picking up the kidlets. It’s 2.30pm now, and normally I would be heading out the door picking up my kids - and the afternoon and evening stretches ahead of me as a busy and demanding time frame.

This week has been great fun. The weather has been perfect. The days are around 25˚ and the nights are cool, perfect for snuggling, but not freezing cold like they had been for a week or two. On Tuesday we went to Wappa Dam for a picnic. The kids were so excited to spend some time with Oma and Opa and their Aunty Ricky and Aunty Denise, and the girls. Julia had to work, so couldn’t join us, but Kiana was there, playing footy with the boys which was great. I had my chair out on the sun,and just enjoyed the soothing feeling of it on my skin. One of the downsides (mmm, there aren’t that many!!) of living in the subtropics is that I don’t get to actually enjoy the sun much, but during he winter days, it’s just lovely sitting in it and enjoying the warmth on my skin, without being cooked to a crackle. I had to leave the picnic area early to meet a physio appointment for a very sore neck and shoulders. The million dollar latex pillow I bought several months ago wasn’t doing me any favours, and it wasn’t until I made a concerted effort to sleep on my other side, that it confirmed my suspicions. I paid $100 for it and was reluctant to give it up. I feel much better now, even last night it was starting to feel better. Two nights of not sleeping on the culprit has helped too. I have given Peter the good pillow - hopefully he will be comfortable.

I had a bone scan done last Friday, and Osteitis Pubis is no longer in contention for my diagnosis!! So, I am none the wiser. Another half day of injection, stuffing around, and laying still on a table, and I still don’t know what’s wrong. I won’t think about it for a few days - maybe it will go away lol....... I wish!!!

Peter has been painting the house all week, and it’s starting to look lovely. I am so glad I am not paying him by the hour, as he isn’t terribly fast, but he does a great job, considering he’s not a painter by trade. The house looks fresh, clean and bigger. His ‘to do’ list, which I jokingly tell him is written on a toilet roll, isn’t getting any shorter - well, maybe just a little!!

My darling husband took me out for lunch today. We wanted to go to the Orient Express, a really nice Chinese/Thai restaurant in Palmwoods, but just our luck and it wasn’t open for lunch!! Only on the Sunshine Coast Hinterland could you still make a good enough business, by only being open hallf the time!! We had lunch at the Palmwoods Hotel which was lovely. It was expensive, but delicious - and heaps of food. I couldn’t eat all my Caesar Salad, and had some nice warm cob loaf with capsicum dip which was delish. We also shared a caramel frappe which was decadent and yummy. It’s been 19 weeks on WW and this is the first time I have ‘let my hair down’. And it’s great because I didn’t eat heaps, left a third of my salad, because I was full. It’s Mickey’s birthday on Saturday. I have planned my chocolate cake recipe, lemon patty cakes, sandwiches, and I will make some sausage rolls, but will make some lower fat ones. I have bought pork mince instead of sausage mince and I have some low fat puff pastry too.

Kids have had a ball being at home this week. They have the car track set up and are enjoying the good weather and playing outside heaps. Today they are at Holiday Care, so we could have lunch and I could have the groceries in peace. Plus it means they will have a great day tomorrow, because they won’t feel like bickering as much.

One of my dear friends offered me some work. Her and her husband have bought the CamerHouse stores on the coast, and she offered me Sunday work, or part time work in the future. I know that I would love the work, but don’t think I am ready to kiss my teaching goodbye. Plus it would mean coming home around 6pm, instead of 3 or 4, which is a huge difference. I don’t want to stretch the friendship either, but having any ‘special’ requests. Not sure how much the pay would be, but it wouldn’t go anywhere near what I can get teaching - but knowing what days I am working would be a huge plus. I know I could definitely bring something to the business. I know more than the average person about cameras, and being a woman, I think that’ s a real bonus for the store. I would also learn more, which is always exciting for me. Definitely something to keep in mind....

Murphy's Law again

Unbelievable. I haven’t worked all week, and then today I get a call. The schools know I am not available on a Thursday, but she forgot. It would have been nice and close and would have put me back into the black for the following month. I am really cranky I had to say no. I had to say no, because we have a solicitor’s appointment to sign our wills, which we have finally organized, that’s the biggest reason, then I want to be home to take part in my ‘Shoebox’ webinar, it’s my grocery day, and probably the most important fact is because Sammy is involved in a ‘cafe’ and Mum, Dad and I are all going ‘out’ to the cafe for lunch - and he would be heartbroken if I didn’t go....

What price for your kids?

Kidspeak

Yesterday after we'd been to the Caloundra apartment block, we took the kids to McDonalds for an ice-cream.

We all sat down, I with my skim latte and the kids with their chocolate sundaes and Daddy with his caramel one.

Mickey piped up, and explained 'We are all having a Sunday and Daddy is having a Saturday!'. Yep well that explains why his was caramel and their's were all chocolate.

Another weekend gone

I can't believe how fast the weekends go by. I had a busy one this weekend and it was very enjoyable. Friday night I went scrapping as usual, and enjoyed another lovely evening with a few of my closest friends. I tried to get home earlyish as I had to take Mickey to his game on Saturday morning. I took Mickey to his game, came home, quickly tidied and put on some more washing. I made a pot of coffee and waited for dh to come home so we could sit together - enjoy a nice cuppa - before I got changed, and headed out for a midday to midnight scrapbooking day. I made two cards (x2) because a girlfriend wanted copies. I love her work, it's awesome, and then I was worried that htey wouldn't turn out well enough. so I took ages to get my head around these cards. I need more practise of measuring and cutting etc. My scrapbooking is always straight, but doens't require measuring, so I don't do it much. I think I harmed a fair bit of cardstock making those cards lol......but they turned out really well. Barbi had chicken and salads organized for dinner so that was lovely too. The money raised went to Cystic Fibrosis.

Yesterday we went and visited Peter's parents, and had lunch with them. It was really nice seeing them, and seeing them so happy. Mum is recovering really really well from her shoulder surgery and after her year of eye surgeries and her shoulder replacement, she is finally a picture of health and is feeing great. We also dropped into the Caloundra unit and paid a deposit on our holiday. It costs so much, at least if we have it paid off before hand, it means we can go out for a few meals and not worry about every penny so much if the accommodation is already paid for.

On Friday night we were chatting and one of my girlfriends asked me what I did all day. She loves to do her chores and then head out for the day, whether she rides her motorbike, goes to the plaza or sees her sister -she just always goes out. I really enjoy my days at home, and her questions set me to thinking and analyzing why I like to stay at home.

When I only had Billy-Joe, I became bored at home. I loved going out then, I really craved company of others as I felt lonely too. Most days I visited my parents, and EVERY single Saturday Mum and I went shopping. When the other kids came along, I stayed home - out of necessity. They were hard work, and going out was far from easy, it was quite stressful. I would go to my fortnightly MOPS mornings and that kept me sane. (Only just!!) I don't miss those early years. Yes I loved my kids deeply when they were little - don't get me wrong. But I didn't enjoy being home with a baby and a toddler. I had gone from one child who was so well behaved, to a baby (who was good until he too became a toddler) and a toddler who was 'full on'. Even once I only had Mickey at home, I found it difficult. I'd had ten years of babies, nappies, crying, crankiness, whinging which drove me spare - and I was looking forward to having those days behind me. Combine all that with problems with depression, battling my weight, being tired all the time and I am a little sad in reflection. I kept my house clean, my kids were well looked after, and I am glad I stayed home in those formative years, as I believe kids need that, plus I didn't have the energy or the mental fortitude to have returned to work, even though at times I knew it would have been good for me to have gone to work.....

It's the second year now that all my kids are at school every day, and also the second year I have returned to work. I love being at home during the day. I love the peace and the fact I can do my chores without anyone undoing my work behind me, or without having to worry about what anyone is doing. On the days I don't work, I am quite content to just stay home. I rarely go out as I don't have the need to go out. I don't have the money either, so lunch and or coffee isn't an option. I buy my meal every Friday night,and that's it. If I were not working at all, that wouldn't be every week either. Heck, this fortnight, I have no money now until pay day, which is Thursday week. No money - except a tiny bit I have left aside for Friday night and no access to any either. But that's okay - that's just the way it is - but it also means that coffee, driving somewhere needlessly, or lunch, just isn't on my radar.

Instead I can do my chores and sit and play on the computer, read blogs, learn my computer programs and operating system, read my book, go for my walk and just enjoy my own company.

It's 11am, I have done some errands,made some phone calls, bought some groceries and picked up some more ventolin for Billy-Joe. I also had to get fuel. When I got home I did my ironing, and dusting. The toilet's cleaned, the kids' room is tidied. I have browned my chicken, onions and garlic an have a yummy apricot chicken simmering away in the crock pot. Later I will head out for my walk and pick up my kids. As it's the last week of school before the holidays, hopefully none of them have any homework, so that will make this Monday afternoon a pretty cruisy one. Sammy has to practise his keyboard as he has a concert tomorrow. Normally with homework, I always help them - and harass them to not talk and keep working, it's almost like being in the classroom. Sammy takes ages some days, and as he is reading 'chapter books' we are often working together until around 4.30pm. I like to help them with their homework while I am preparing dinner. They can then play and I will have my shower and get into my jammies. Nowadays it's getting quite cool, so the kids normally inside and showered by 5.30pm. Peter comes home around six, showers and we have dinner. Then I clear up, load the dishwasher, and the kids read before their lights are turned off. Sometimes one of us will go in and read to them, but we are encouraging that they read to themselves. It's awesome seeing them all reading now.

My days are full and busy - and I often don't go anywhere. I guess it's a sign of contentment. I have set up my environment to be my 'happy place'. I love going to work, and Friday nights are my mandatory night with my 'bestests' - but it's pretty awesome being happy at home.

Update time

Another weekend has gone by the wayside. A long weekend in fact, as it was Show Day on Friday. I can’t get over how fast it has gone though. I was pretty busy the entire time, and that always makes time fly.

On the Friday a friend whom we’d met in Springbrook came to visit. It was an interesting visit. He and I were quite good mates when I lived there on my own. He lived a couple of doors down the same road I did - and we used to eat dinner together, either at the pub, or at his house. It’s interesting how someone you meet can have a lasting impact on your life, and yet when you see them again, the connection isn’t so strong anymore. Many many things have changed in the intervening years....Dh is convinced that if we spent some time together over good wine and food, that maybe things would be like they once were. I don’t think so.

Anyway, he is still a valued friend, someone who was once important in our lives. Through him I learnt to appreciate good quality red wine. I also learnt to cook Beef Vindaloo, which today, I still cook as he did. He also had a really good chef’s knife which I loved to use, and now I have a block of those knives myself. It was nice seeing him, and meeting his lady friend. Even though at times I felt pushed for conversation. I wonder if he felt the same.

Saturday I spent shopping with my Mum. It was a leisurely afternoon, I reckon we spent about 3 hours just sitting, drinking coffee or eating lunch. Just laughing, reminiscing, counting our blessings and talking of the future too. Just girl time, friend time - precious time.

I did my birthday shopping. I got Mickey a Wahu cricket set for his birthday and Billy-Joe a small ipod shuffle, which he will just love. Mum bought me a top which I had tried on months ago, and it was full price then. Mum paid a quarter of the initial price, plus I was able to buy it in a smaller size, which was pretty cool indeed! I also bought a pair of cords, which were only $20 - they are great for work on cool days, as they are soft, warm and comfy to wear.

When I got home I made a marinade for my lamb chops (the hideously expensive ones), and it was delicious - I took photos, so need to update my sadly neglected recipe blog when I get a chance.

Yesterday I finished my Photoshop Elements class. The next one starts in July, but I am not sure yet whether or not I want to do it. I definitely have learnt stuff - the program is amazing and the changes are great. (From PSE5 (Windows Version) )

Bad days and better days

LIfe has been up and down, on a pain threshold level. Thankfully, I’m on an up now. I had days in the last two weeks, where I wondered where all this was heading. For far out sakedness, where am I going to end up? Am I going to end up on crutches and hurting every second of the day.

Okay, take a deep breath Jen. It could indeed be a gazillion times worse.

Get a grip, find that strength within you which you know you have, and utilize it to it’s fullest degree.

Self talk, is a wonderful motivator, it can be as inspiring as it can be debilitating. I have talked myself around.

After two weeks of not walking much and feeling like shit, a nice day presented itself and I just had to go out and walk. And walk I did. For most of the walk, every step hurt!! Every time I lifted my right leg, it hurt, it felt like it weighed too much but I just kept plodding along. Polar HRM stats weren’t real flash, but I walked, and I felt warm from the inside out and best of all felt like I had achieved something. Did I hurt more at the end of the day than usual?? No!! Too cool, so I went for another walk yesterday and it was easier

Some layouts

I haven't uploaded any of my layouts in ages.

Here are some of my latest ones.


Sammy playing the keyboard at Karen and Geoff's house.
Cath and I looking at our booty from out day at Ikea. See the large piece, that's Al's desk that she insisted would fit into my car.....luckily it did!! She couldn't fit it into her car though lol......so it was a drama once we got back to my place.

A good fun time with hybrid scrapbooking.
Playing with digital elements, another hybrid page.

I know they are all wonky, I photographed them leaning up on the kitchen bench as opposed to doing them on the floor. I will go back to lying them on the floor and standing over them, a much better image, with no distortion.

A better day

I am feeling much better within myself compared to the last three days.

It was all precipitated by the appointment I had at the hospital, I am sure. It was a quite stressful day. The arthrogram went okay, just stung when he repeatedly put the needle in the anaethetize my leg. I felt a bit faint at one stage when he put the huge needle in where the dye went through, and he pulled it out and had to re insert it!

The MRI, is enough to drive someone totally insane. I have thought about it a lot since. I found that I had totally had enough. I hate noise, and the noise was too much. Imagine lying in the middle of a construction site, and having heavy machinery and jackhammers going ....... anyway enough of that. Thankfully the thoughts of things like that fade very quickly and at least next time, I will know what to expect.

Today is a good day though. Sammy’s class had a liturgy this morning, so I went and watched him. He is such a darling, and gets such a buzz out of me being there. Actually all three kids really liked having me there. Billy-Joe even spent the time before school started waiting with me and he had four friends with him too, which is pretty cool, that a group of year 7 boys would hang around - pretty neat I thought.

I got home and did my ironing, and vacuuming. Bunny dropped home and we had a chat and had to fix up some banking stuff on the phone. I tell you what, having a techno ignorant husband is funny...... Anyway we have finally set up his account so he can do third party deposits. What a laugh! I am sitting next to him with all his details to hand, and prompting him...... I am glad one of us is up to speed with things lol.....

I pottered around with some of my scrapping stuff in the afternoon, and then walked to pick up the kids from school. I didn’t feel like my long walk, but am really pleased I did the school walk. At least it’s half an hour.

I had another great night scrapbooking, I actually finished a layout. I must photograph and upload some of my latest creations. It’s 1.47am and I really should be in bed. Scrapbooking and spending time with my best friend, is therapy - and I feel much more at peace with myself than I did all this week.

Murphy's Law of Supply Teaching

I worked yesterday, a pre booked day, which are always the best, and of course I was rung in the morning, to work elsewhere too! Then today, I have my Arthrogram and MRI booked and the Special School contacted me to work. I haven’t worked for them since last term, the day the student hit me. When some time has elapsed between working at a venue, I always start to think, that they don’t want me back, and then in the last two days, the only other two schools that I work for, have wanted me to work. So, even though I couldn’t take the jobs, I was pretty pleased that I am still on their lists. I still like only having a few schools to work at - it increases my level of loyalty to the school and also my familiarity with the school routine and it also gives me a chance to get acquainted with other staff members.

My appointment is in a couple of hours. I have asked my dh to take me there and pick me up. I read the notes on the Arthrogram and it doesn’t sound very nice. I may be in pain afterwards and they suggest that I don’t drive for up to four hours. I will have to go and pick up the kids, but thats three hours later, so I should be okay. I am trying to look at the bright side, and not focus on the fact it’s going to hurt. I get a very quiet day. I get to rest - who knows maybe I can sleep while I have my scan. Methinks, perhaps not, as I will have to lie on my back (I imagine!). I will take my book, I finished Ken Follet’s “PIllars of the Earth” and am about to start his new one, the sequel “World without End”. I won’t get my walk in this afternoon either, so it’s going to be rather relaxing when I get home too. I am hoping that my left side is bad enough to show up on x-ray, as my right side is actually giving me much more trouble at the moment and they will only can one side at a time. If I am lying flat on my back, I have trouble lifting my right leg off the bed - it hurts and isn’t very strong, while at my left leg isn’t too bad. If I do certain stretches, I can feel my left side catching, so I know it hasn’t miraculously healed itself. It will be good to hopefully get a proper diagnosis.

Ramblings on

You know sometimes this whole blogging thing gets a big all over the place. I have so much to say and often start to formulate posts in my head, unfortunately, many which stay unwritten.

It was another Daisy’s retreat last weekend, and was just lovely, although it’s Thursday now and I think I have finally recovered. I came home and slept in my own bed both nights, but still felt quite washed up by yesterday. I worked yesterday, first day in two and a half weeks, so that was a contributing factor as it was a rather hectic day. I didn’t do many layouts at the retreat , only three, but had a great time. On the Saturday night, Barbi had one of her nephews and his mate come in and sing for us. It was really nice, they were quite good, singing James Blunt, Sean Mullins type music which are amongst my favourite. Then we played on the Singstar so the repressed singer within me had a ball. It beats singing into a hairbrush, like I did when I was a kid, and I don’t know how bad it sounded to everyone else, but I wasn’t the only one belting out a tune, who couldn't actually  sing.

Our table was really good. We had some girls at the end of the table, plus one of them had their daughter with them. Kerrie, was there, Karen, and also Carrin and her Mum. It was a nice mix of people and a good mix of laughter and serious times. Kerrie has not long ago lost her Mum, Karen has recently lost her father and one of the other girls very recently lost her Mum to a very aggressive brain tumor. It was good for Kerrie and Sheree to be able to talk to one another. Karen had gone for a lie down, so missed the ‘heavier’ parts of the conversation. The tragic loss of Sheree’s Mum was made much more tragic due to the fact that her Mum became quite nasty in the weeks leading up to her death.

 Early on in the conversation I had to leave it. Not because I felt it was morbid or that I  was becoming upset, but because I felt like an interloper. I have had a charmed life and suffered little loss in my 45 years, and I felt this was too personal and that it wasn’t appropriate for me to include myself in this discussion. My heart went out to those girls - their grief still new and incredibly raw. 

In my life, I lost a friend of the family, who was killed in a car accident. I don’t remember her face as I was quite young, but I remember feeling very sad over that. Kids were shielded from a lot back in those days. When my grandmother died, I was quite upset and given that I had only ever spent such a small amount of time with her, I was hit quite hard when she died. She had been ill and was taken quite quickly. I mourn the fact that I never had her close by - my own children are so lucky to have their grandparents in their lives. My Uncle died nearly three years ago, and that was a huge shock, and I think of him often. I used to see him for a few weeks every two years - so again the physical proximity wasn’t there, but it still hurts nonetheless. I hear of the tragic loss of lives everyday, and live with it through my friends, and am so grateful that I have never had to deal with it to that extent. My dh and I are incredibly blessed that both sets of parents are fit and healthy and very much alive. Hearing these stories of loss, makes me realize how fragile our hold on life really is. That everyday we have is a true gift and we should treasure it with all our hearts. Death is a part of life, there is no way of getting out of it, so I am thankful everyday that I have my parents and that we are all well.

It’s now two days later and I haven’t uploaded this post yet. I am still pondering the whole life and loss scenario. I have talked to Barbi about it. How do you reconcile your faith with the loss of loved ones. She is very wise, my dear friend is.

Not a day goes by where I don’t give thanks for what I have. I can’t even write down exactly what I feel. As I write this I am looking forward to spending the evening with my parents.

 How I feel to know that my parents are coming to dinner. I love the feeling of planning a meal for them, and cooking it. I love the times we spend together, the food we eat, the wine we drink and the good times and laughs we share whenever we are together. My parents aren’t just the people who brought me into this world, we class them amongst our very best friends. We entertain my parents more than any other couple. I cook for them a variety of things, and we sit down and just enjoy being together. My kids get a huge buzz having them around. My kidlets haven’t seen them in a few weeks, so they are very excited about seeing them.

My significant other and I also had huge discussions this morning, about our life. I told him how the death of other’s parents was really making me face things I wasn’t ready to face. We also spoke about how we are lucky we have each other, and that even through all the tough times, we have stuck together and that we are both poignantly aware of how much is at stake, if there was ever a cause for this relationship to fail. Many people and acquaintances we have, are no longer together. It’s not uncommon to meet someone in the street whom we haven’t seen in a while, ask about their spouse and be told that they are no longer together. I get a cold feeling to my core when I hear that news. (Not as bad as when someone tells me they are moving or having another baby lol......) We question whether a couple actually sits down and works out what they will lose if the relationship ends. How much is at stake. Where you live, your goals, your hopes your dreams and your well being and happiness (unless of course you are in a totally dysfunctional relationship) the stability of your children is at stake, and while I agree children are quite strong and resilient, nothing is ever the same for them again. Their whole lives are turned upside down. The many unpleasantries that ensue over the following weeks, months and years would have a very dark and sad repercussion. I certainly don’t purport to be an expert on marriage and relationships, but surely a few failed marriages, and now an extremely strong one, would count for something. No-one is perfect. No relationship is ever perfect all the time. Life isn’t like that. I have become much more patient and know that beneath the little irritants, is a deep abiding love and respect for my husband, and I know he has the same loyalty and love for me. We are the core of our family. We teach our kids about love, and about fighting and then teach them that love overcomes all the hurdles. There’s no better lesson than that - no better way of teaching your kids, than just letting them see you live and love in front of them. Sometimes I feel like a single Mum, sometimes I feel hard done by, but I never ever feel like my relationship is anything other than strong. Life isn’t easy. Life is damn complicated.

This Macjournal tells me how many words this entry is, it’s 1319 words. And I do believe I said earlier in this entry that I found it hard to put some things into words!!

I close this entry, with thoughts for those parents and friends who have died recently of the people who have touched my life in some way. I pray that the loved ones left behind find some peace. That they find a strength from the knowledge their loved ones are in a better place. I pray that the loved ones are able to seek comfort in their family and friends. I pray that time eases their intense grief and they are able to think of their beloved ones without the deep pain they are currently feeling. I pray that special days will not be too sorrowful and that they are able to think of their loved ones with a peaceful joy. One of my besties recently lost her Dad. Their relationship was tenuous and extremely strained - she mourns for what is lost, I pray she finds a peace within her, to know that she did nothing wrong and that she was not responsible for his unloving treatment of her.

For myself, I pray with a hearfelt mind which is full of thankfulness. I will continue to love and enjoy my close family. I will continue to be grateful for their loving presence in our lives, and thank you God for keeping them safe and healthy.

Thank you, for all that is wonderful in my life.

Brief Update

It’s nearly two weeks now, and I haven’t worked. It’s not all bad, it means my house is tidy and I don’t feel overwhelmed, the downside of course is that today is pay day and I will have nada, zilch, nichts in my bank account. Thank God the last pay was good, so I was able to pay a month’s worth of bills. I am really happy I didn’t decide to spend any willy nilly, otherwise I’d be in the shit.

I haven’t felt 100% today. I have had an upset stomach. I have been to the toilet a few times, but I still have gurgles and pain in my tummy - so I’ve had a very quiet afternoon.

I have played with PSE6 today, and this is one of the photos I worked on.

I also have a Hungarian Goulash in the crock pot, so dinner is organized. I will have veggies and deb mashed potato with it.

I hopped on the scales this morning and I’d gained weight. I was disappointed to say the least. As far as my food and exercise diary goes, I have done nothing wrong. I am going to try and not eat rice or noodles for dinner, I think that may cause weight gain, maybe it’s too much carbs. I have exercised heaps in the last two weeks too, so that’s not the culprit. I am happy though, because the news didn’t make me want to chuck the whole thing out the window. I am reconciled to the fact that it’s a long slow journey.

I ended up buying MacJournal, which means I can keep a journal and/or post the entries onto my blogs. I thought it was a cool idea. I want to journal more and keep more notes, so this suits me well.

Saw the GP today

I had to see my GP today to get some repeats. I had run out of anti inflammatories and I can’t live without them at the moment. My level of pain some days is quite high, and without them I would be so stiff and sore, I wouldn’t be able to manage through a normal day, let alone fit in the walking I can still do. I wanted to let my doctor know that I had no intention in seeing the orthopedic specialist again and we teed things up so that wouldn’t be necessary. Today I got the impression that he actually believed me and that he also respected what I knew about the condition. I left feeling like I had someone on my side - rather than feeling like an inconvenience like I did with the specialist.

I just pray each day, that I get some resolution before I can’t work anymore, or before I can’t walk properly anymore. Days like I had last week scare the living daylights out of me. Every time I walked, my legs ached and felt like they had lead in them. Wisely, I didn’t do C25K on the weekend. I don’t think I can. I will be happy to just walk......I need to be sensible or else I can do myself more harm than good.

A quiet week

I have had a quiet week this week, and it’s been blissful. I feel recharged and not at all stressed. i was able to fit in my exercise this week which was great, even though it hurts like heck if I do a few days in a row. I rested yesterday and will today too, maybe just a short walk to get the kids from school - it’s better than nothing, and yet won’t strain my newly physioed hips.....

I

I went to assembly this morning. Billy-Joe was involved in 7Ts presentation and Mickey earned a Student of the week award. So I did the ‘good Mummy’ thing and went and watched. Sammy was sitting on the bench beside his aide, he was as proud as punch that I was there, and didn’t seem nonplussed at all about sitting there, instead of with his class. I am sure he was removed because he is disruptive.... Mickey was delighted that I was there to watch him getting his award.





Oh my kids are so darn cute!!!

FAI

Femoroacetabular Impingement (FAI)

I don't have a final diagnosis, but this looks like what I have with my hips. I saw the specialist the other week. I wasn't too impressed with him. I spent about 10-15mins with him, paid him $125 and he treated me like I was an inconvenience. I didn't even think his exam was as thorough as my physio's or the GP's. He did the same tests, but in a kind of half hearted way. I still need my MRI which will confirm this diagnosis. I actually learnt more from Dr. Google than I did from him. He only gave me the layman's term for it, and I had to find the correct name on the 'net.

Looks like it will be surgery at some stage. My fear is, that I have it in both sides, but everyone is ignoring the fact. So does this mean I will have one side done and then go through the whole damn process again with the other side.

My other fear is that at some stage, I won't be able to exercise anymore, hopefully this won't happen before the surgery!!!

I hate being in pain.

Have not really been remiss

If I haven't posted here, it's a chance that I have blogged on my other blog..... The last post on my other blog, should have been here, I obviously forgot where I was lol......

Come and visit me over here if I have been slack here. It's my food/fitness blog so I intended to keep it seperate, but as it is a lifestyle thing, the differences between the two blogs gets blurred, hence the post on the wrong one.

Half a point of relaxation

I have worked today - have completed two days of a ten day contract which will take place over the next four weeks. At least for four weeks, I know where I am going to be, and know beforehand, so can be organized with meals, cleaning, washing etc. Two days a week would be just perfect, I feel good after two days. It's busy leaving at home at 7.30am and not getting home until 4pm, so a much longer day than when I work locally.

I am enjoying a half a point of wine as I sit and type this. Dinner is organized, egg and bacon baskets with a green tossed salad. Easy peasy and delicious (and low points).

Will have to hop over to weight loss blog to make a comment there.....busy busy busy!!