My Photo Post

My creation, originally uploaded by Jazzmin.

Productive Days

In between making my cake, biscuits, chutney, stuffing, truffles, gift cards, Christmas card newsletters, wrapping gifts, and the normal day to day cleaning/washing/tidying/cooking, I have realized that I have achieved a lot this week.

I have also managed to go out a few times, had my hair done, spent hours with my bestest friend, chatting, eating dinner and chatting until well after midnight last night. Last night was fantastic, not only was it good because she'd been away, and I was happy to have her back - we were the only ones in the store!! One lady came to shop and a couple of other ladies, came chatted, shopped and then said they would let Barbi have an early night. So we got virtually the whole night to ourselves - bliss!!

I should log, on a daily basis what I actually achieve. It's not until someone emails me and says 'what have you been up to?' that I take a moment to recap and realize with amazement that I have done an awful lot. I am feeling very smug at the moment. It's also a strong reminder, that my medication is helping me do all this. The last few months have been a stark contrast to the previous several. I am so thankful that I took stock of where I was at, and that I did something about it!

Today I have also scrapbooked a layout. I even got my sewing machine out for this one.
The photo is Mickey in his safety gear after he got his scooter and gear for his birthday in July of this year, with Sammy hugging him from behind. I haven't actually journalled on this layout, because I have already journalled the fact that he got the scooter in another layout, but I loved the photo and didn't want it going unscrapped!

My Christmas Menu

High Tea
Served at Midday on Christmas Eve
Vanilla Kipferl
Linzer Augen
Rich Christmas Cake
Chocolate Fruit Mince Truffles
Chocolate Dipped Stars
Stollen



Dinner
Roast Rolled Turkey with Fig and Hazlenut Stuffing
Cranberry Chutney
Roast Potatoes
Roast Sweet Potatoes
Roast Pumpkin
Roast Onions
Balsamic Glazed Carrots
Peas with Mint and Garlic
Warm dinner rolls

It's beginning to feel like Christmas

It took me an hour and a half to wrap and label our gifts today. I am nearly finished, still have a couple to finish wrapping. I have them all safely stowed away. I have never had them done this early before.

Dancing is on tonight, and I haven't decided whether to go or not. I want to go, but I don't want to go. It's a Christmas supper afterwards too. I know I will be happy when I get there, it's just the thought that I don't like. Plus I hate going out when it's raining, and it's been threatening rain all day long.....so far there's nothing though. Last night we had quite heavy rain. The grass is growing like mad. Dh will have to cut it before the red suited one arrives, so the yard looks nice. I am getting my hair done tomorrow. I have to get the colour re done, might do something different as it looks too close to my natural colour (pre kids). Mickey is going shopping with my parents tomorrow. Billy-Joe will go to a friend's house, and I will get my hair done at my sister in law's place. Sammy will enjoy being on his own, playing with is cousin.

I might still do some baking. I have truffles on my list and I also might make some more biscuits, just a small batch though. I have enough sweet stuff in the house to sell. As it's Sammy's and my birthday on the 29th it certainly doesn't go astray.

I am still betwixt and between with my editing software. I can buy an academic version of Photoshop Elements 4 (Mac version) for about $100. The new one PSE6 (for which the release date hasn't been announced yet) will cost about double that........unless they have an academic version then it will be considerably cheaper. I am not sure how PSE4 will run on Leopard os x either.

I will go and get my kids soon, they are always really good when they have been out all day, as they are happy to be home, which is good.

Santa's elves, turn chaos into order!

Busy and happy

Gosh I am so happy that the school year is at an end. I am feeling busy, but relaxed and happy. A couple of times, though I have had the racing heart thing again - just like I did last year, but it's nowhere as bad. I have been making good use of ical and putting things down in the diary (I know Michelle, I hear ya!) and it's making me feel organized and not stressed. The Christmas cake is done, the Vanilla Kipferln are done, and today I made some shortbread stars half dipped into chocolate. My new kitchen is making everything a gazillion times easier. I can prepare the evening meal, and then just move over and roll out biscuits and have two trays out ready to take it - just heaven. I was thinking back to a few years ago, probably six years ago, our first in this house. I had the bright idea, (amongst others) that to make the Vanilla Kipferln really authentic I would make my own vanillin sugar, rather than buying it like I normally would. I had never done this before, so I got dh to buy the vanilla beans (poor boy nearly had a conniption when he saw how much they were), I cut them in half (I'd seen that on a cooking show) and then placed them into a Tupperware sieve (that had a base and a lid for storage) with icing sugar. This is where instructions would have been handy (or common sense) - as when I went to use the vanilla sugar, it was as hard as a rock!!!! I should have done it for maybe an hour or two, not a week lol......... So then I am trying to dust these hot biscuits with the Tupperware sieve when of course nothing came out. I bashed the container on the sink, because at this stage I had a crying baby on my hip........ Needless to say said container's lid and base fell off and I had icing sugar everywhere. At one stage I was dusting said biscuits with child on hip, vacuum cleaner on the floor and icing and crap everywhere..... I asked myself why am I doing this?? Back then, I did it mainly for my Dad, now I do it because I would not only have him to answer to, but it's become such a tradition, my whole family, especially my own kids just love them. So they remain a Christmas favourite. This year, however, after I have been making them for about the past 14 or so Christmases, they were quick and easy! No hassle at all, I finally have them wired, and my deluxe kitchen is just the best place for baking.

Like I have posted before, I am missing elements! I have found a widget though, that can resize my pics, so at least I can post them on my blog again. There is a facility within iphoto where you can upload photos to a blog or web page, I will investigate that further too. I am loving my imac, and learning much. I am also getting myself into stuff that I can't reverse, but I have always learnt best by my mistakes! I am so glad there are forums and groups out there where people are only too happy to help.

I have some photos. The boys at a girlfriend's house this morning. Just sitting down and being quite happy about having their photo taken. A scrapbooker's dream. I was complimented by a couple of the girls there how well mannered and lovely my boys were. I was very proud. They are such a handful and drive me around the bend nearly,but all the hard work and peristence on my part is well worth it when I get remarks like that. I thanked them for their great behaviour and said how nice it was to take them to someone's house. Billy-Joe noted that it was much better taking them to someone's house than a shopping centre - amen to that!! Tess had an above ground pool and the boys just had a ball. I didn't have to worry about them. There were other boys there, Tessie's two boys and yet they played with their own siblings.....strange.

My good friend Noeli from Springbrook was coming on Saturday, but he can't come now, hopefully he will come early in the New Year.







The yummy Vanilla Kipferln after they've just come out of the oven and are freshly dusted.

Pretty Trivia

Pretty toe nails

Pretty cards and candles


Sometimes it's nice to write about not much. Plus the fact that I now have a widget which resizes photos for me.

Visit to Santa

I am so lucky, that my three boys are still ardent believers of Santa.

I'll be back later with a photo. There's got to be a way of resizing the image for uploading.

Worked it out, thanks to a widget that does the resizing for me.

My beautiful boys with the lovely Santa at Myer. The photo isn't perfectly edited - am eager awaiting the release of Photoshop Elements 6 (for Mac) early next year before I can do much on them again. I can use the kids' computer, (my old one) if I get desperate.....

It's all apples

I haven't done much blogging, either writing or commenting in the last couple of days. I have been extremely busy.

I have crossed over to the dark side! I have left the PC camp and am now a proud iMac owner. I have been researching specs for a new computer for the last few months. My old PC was still fine, but the kids desperately needed one that had more grunt than the one my old PC Tech kindly built for me out of spare parts. It was so tediously slow. The kids would open Sims and then could just about have had a shower whilst waiting for it to open. Whilst my old PC isn't a gaming computer, the 1GB of RAM is enough to keep them out of mischief. I had planned to buy the new PC in the New Year, via Credit Card and cash payment - and paying it off very quickly.

I read various blogs and have always been interested in reading ones where the writer has loved the Macs. I know that people who have them, won't use anything else.I also know they are expensive, so I spent hours doing research on working out how it was better, and whether it would suit me. I am very lucky that my dh, although not at all tech savvy appreciates what I tell him and takes it all on board. He respects me and my judgement, so discussing the pros of a Mac with him was a positive experience. When I came home from scrapbooking late on Friday night, I still hadn't decided 100%. I had posted on Two Peas in a Bucket and knew that the Peas would have answered my post whilst I was out. They didn't let me down, and the replies were positive and encouraging. I had rung Myer during the day and the lady in IT told me that Myercard had an interest free offer going. I needed to do some more Christmas shopping, so went out Saturday afternoon. I'd talked briefly to dh that I may just come home with a computer if I liked what I saw, because at this stage I still hadn't seen an iMac in the flesh!!

I organized my Myercard and bought the iMac. I was served by a young guy who knew what he was talking about. I couldn't get the Academic discount, but he threw in a Canon printer and $30 discount off the Apple Care extended warranty.

Mum and Dad came and bought pizza for us and we all had a fun dinner with garlic bread and wine of course. Peter was absolutely exhausted - he works so hard everyday. He had worked that morning, and had had a late night the night before too. We all had fun, and the kids went to bed later than normal and Mum and Dad left not long after 8,30pm.

I started with the new iMac around 9pm and by just after midnight I had my new iMac going. I would have done it all much quicker, but I spent (wasted) time burning stuff onto Cds. Stupid thing spent nearly an hour doing something and then it told me it didn't work!!! The new iMac needed to install around 660MB of updates, so I left it doing that when I went to bed. At least that way it used my off peak allowance, so that was good.

The next day Bunny went to the PGA that I'd bought the tickets for. It was timely as I could spend the entire day guilt free......setting up the new computer. It's time consuming anyway setting up a new machine. My brother built me a computer about two PCs ago, and he was stunned when he saw it a day after he'd handed it over to me. He said he'd never seen a computer changed so much in such a short space of time. I like it all set up in a particular way.

I spent from 9am to midday just sorting out iTunes! I had to set up the old computer close to the new one, so I could share the ethernet cable. I hadn't deauthorized the old computer, which meant I couldn't authorize the new one with my iTunes account, and the iMac wouldn't recognize my ipod because of it. The kids were a bit of a handful during this time, as I had to take their 'new' computer back so I could do this. I would upload a photo showing the set up - I have worked out how to get my photos on to the iMac, but I don't know how to resize them for upload. I am waiting a few months for when Photoshop Elements 6 for Mac comes out and then I will be back in action as far as all my image editing goes. So for now I just have iPhoto.

By 5.30pm, I had managed to instal my saved bookmarks, installed my address book, and the music was playing out of the speakers too....... I went to bed around 9.30pm and I was quite weary. In the course of the day I'd also taught myself a lot about using a Mac. Even today I went onto the kids' computer and I was looking for things in the Mac spots.....so it won't take long at all.

I am pleased that I made the change, and I look forward to a long association with my iMac.

• 2.4GHz Intel Core 2 Duo
• 1GB memory
• 320GB hard drive¹
• 8x double-layer SuperDrive
• ATI Radeon HD 2600 PRO with 256MB memory

I also added Office for Mac, iWork and the Apple extended warranty.

Some Christmas Cheer

We put up the tree yesterday.......... It was fun, (kinda sorta) but boy it's hard work.
"now I have this pile here, please don't touch'
" no we aren't doing those yet, let's do these first'
' didn't I just say, to leave those things alone'
' no, I am putting those up'.

DIDN'T I JUST SAY I WAS GOING TO PUT THEM UP, LEAVE THEM ALONE!!!!!!

My husband kindly reminded me that in other countries they have egg nog, and that's what it's for - to drink while children are helping with decorating the tree.

Next year I will make some!

I always try a photo shoot in the middle of all this.............remember that phrase, 'Never work with animals or children' (They had my children in mind when that phrase was coined lol............

The good, the bad and the ugly.

I will start on the negative aspects of this post, as in the timeline of events, plus I like to finish on a positive note.

My teaching contract is up at the end of the year. I have enjoyed the security of knowing that I am to work two days per fortnight, with a set income I can count on, and when I do relief days it's the cream on top. I also knew that may not be renewed next year, but I was hopeful. If a contract is renewed, we get paid for holidays, which is fantastic. Alas, the contract was not renewed, so my income will cease over the holidays. That in itself is a concern, as I have averaged around $700 per fortnight, and that will go down to zero. Thank goodness for Centrelink. I have already paid ahead my utilities and some other payments, so that things are diabolical over the Christmas break. I hate not having any money - and I enjoy being independent and never having to ask dh for any money. Our incomes are kept separate with each our own responsibilities and spending money. This suits me very well. I was bitten badly with money in marriage #2 and really appreciate the ability to manage my own income....... This is all well and good for most of the year, just at Christmas time, it becomes a real issue. And, as no teachers are sick early in the term, it tends to continue till nearly Easter.................

So, as I said, I wasn't too shattered when I found this out, but what I was really pissed off about, was the fact that I wasn't told to my face. I actually read the finer points of the classes appointments for next year, (of which I would have been the choice) in the school newsletter and in a letter handed out to parents which I quickly perused before giving out to the kids!!! I came home on Friday night feeling quite low, and very much taken for granted. That emotion compounded with my feeling on Saturday morning that I was a single mother with three boys..........only exacerbated my feelings of being taken for granted. Dh came home and I said and chatted to him, and, as always felt much better. I am not taken for granted at home, but I just don't think anyone really knows what goes into making the home clean and comfortable. I seem to spend hours, and there's not much pay off at the end. Billy-Joe helps which is fantastic, and he knows that things aren't easy to do, so there's a healthy respect there now for what I actually do. The little ones are still in training, but they keep their rooms fairly respectable at all times, so no complaints there......

I know the nature of my job is thus
* haven't done country service so don't expect a permanent position on the coast EVER!
* if I put my name down at several schools I would have more work than I could do
* I don't cope with going to a new school at the drop of the hat. The ferals give me the irrits and I hate not knowing where everything is, and being on duty when you don't know exactly where to go, and the kids don't listen to you anyway
* It's just the nature of my job and I should just accept it.
* I get great money for being on call
* I get a little job satisfaction
* For relief days, I have no assessment or reporting, or planning

Okay, onto the positive aspects of my post.

I sold my stove!!!! Thanks to Michelle (private blog) who helped me give my listing a bit more pizazz and she also sat through the watching and waiting till the very end. I went out this morning to drop the kids at school and do a quick errand, when I came home and checked, I nearly fell off my chair............ They had gone beserk!! I got $420 for it, which Michelle pointed out, is what I initially wanted, plus it covers the useless ads in the paper and trading post. I am really pleased. Peter is giving it the once over tomorrow so it's spotless for the pick up. The inside looks great, the outside just needs another good wipe over........... Michelle and her advice and this great sale, has given me the confidence to put the kids' cot onto Ebay as well. I won't ever use the paper again. I have a heap of scrapbooking stuff I want to sell. That's very time consuming though, as it's all bits and pieces.

Chrisco arrived today, and I am happy with what I ordered. Having said that it was a bit like Christmas because I forgot what I ordered. There's enough frozen fish, and kids' quick meals to see us well and truly over Christmas and beyond. A lot of the stuff I don't buy during the year, so it's truly a treat. The tricky part was finding room for all the stuff. I reduced the amount of my order this year, thank goodness I did, as my freezers and pantry is full!!!

Busy days

I have never sat down to make a list before of all the things that I do in a day. I have just sat down at the PC and the washing machine is beeping at me yet again, to signify the end of a load. That's the fifth load for the weekend, and doesn't include the one I did Friday night. Housekeeping is without a doubt a full time job, and I still can't comprehend how people with children can work full time. My house is very small, if it were the size I would like, I would spend much much more time on cleaning.

I awoke yesterday morning, rudely, by an early phone call responding to a gas stove I am desperate to sell. Then I stayed in bed for another couple of hours and arose the greet the day at around 9am. I put on some washing, then filled the laundry sink with warm water and washed down all my benches. Dh had cooked a meal the night before and gotten the kids dinners, and the kitchen was far from how I like it. I got Billy-Joe to vacuum as my arms are still giving me trouble and the two things that really aggravate it, are vacuuming and carrying shopping bags. I scrubbed my bathtub, shower and vanity, and now I don't want anyone to use it lol. Fortunately I have my family well trained, that they don't leave water all around the vanity every time they wash their hands. That's one of my biggest pet hates, it just grosses me out when the surrounds of the basin are left wet. It's no drama to just dry it up with the hand towel, keeps the area clean for ages longer too. I scrubbed the toilet and floor (four boys in the house!) and then dusted my entire house. I breed dust, of that I am certain.

One person came to see about the oven that I have for sale. He said he was happy because it was clean, but he said it was for his father and that he would talk to him. It' s after one on Sunday, and none of the people who rang have come today, and the man who came yesterday hasn't come back. I don't know what to do. It's still a good oven, and it's will deteriorate just being left in my front yard, it's covered of course, but should be in someone's kitchen. I've spent nearly $60 on advertising so far, and still nothing........ Maybe I will put in on ebay and just take what I can get. Anyway, after dh came home, I made the kids lunch and then we headed out to town, to vote, get some groceries, get Billy-Joe's hair cut and then we came home.

I bought the latest A Good Taste, I love buying Christmas food recipe magazines. I jotted down some ideas for Christmas dinner this year. I want to go into a little bit more effort. With the new kitchen and all, space isn't a problem anymore, so I can be more adventurous. I will still get everything organized the day before, and then I can spend the afternoon drinking and not worrying too much. I may even write up a time table thing, as often the time gets away on us - and as we don't guts too much food in the afternoon we are quite hungry.

I cooked a lamb roast for our dinner. It was yummy, but as we had a really lovely evening, we didn't actually eat until nearly 10pm!!! I went to bed after 11, so yet another late night.

Up this morning, late again, which was nice. I'd much rather sleep in and go to bed late than get up early and go to bed early. I miss out on too much kid free time, if I go to bed early, and those hours after the kids go to bed keep me sane, and are meant for fostering my relationship with my husband. I don't buy into 'I get up early, it's the best part of the day' type mentality............ I am a night owl, much much prefer that.

So, this morning, more washing, and then changed some curtains in the little ones' room. I had curtains in there for a long time, they were navy blue with bees on them and they are starting to get a bit big for that. So I put the red curtains on that were on the sliding door in the dining room from before we re did the kitchen. I can't put them back on as the room is not there either side of the door frame for us to hang up the tracks properly. And they weren't cheap curtains, so I have two lovely sets of red 213cm drop curtains which I can't use anymore. So at least one lot is now on the window and looks much better.

I have also done the ironing so all the school uniforms are done for the week.

I am off to church this afternoon. It should be interesting. After Sammy was born, I started attending a MOPS group. It's a Mothers of Preschoolers group which is under the auspices of a church. There are many MOPS programs run in Australia and it originated in the US. That group was literally my life saver. The program ran fortnightly. You spent two hours with other Mums. The first hour was spent completing some craft activity. The next hour was spent in discussion over a Christian based parenting or 'life' book. There was always morning tea, and the part that made it so special for us Mums and enabled it to even happen were the carers who looked after our kids for the entire two hours. It was just heaven. To feel grown up for two hours in the day - to be able to chat and not have to worry about our toddlers. We usually kept our babies with us, but the toddlers all went to Moppets. Anyway this group became special to me as it started one of the most important friendships of my entire life. It was there I met Barbi, my best gf whom I spend every Friday night with and who I started Daisy's with. Her graciousness, her kindness, her knowledge, her amazing ability to make you feel welcome, loved and cherished, just drew me to her like a magnet. She is Christianity personified. Never preaching any bible bashing rubbish, she just lives it on a daily, and minute by minute basis. She is a true inspiration. And I was so lucky to have met her and to have become her friend. Barbi was the co-ordinator of the MOPS program (and also playgroup and was also involved in leading worship at the church services, and singing in the band). I started MOPS at the beginning of 2000 and then at Easter time, the ladies from the church had given us all easter eggs with good wishes and the church service times printed on a little piece of paper attached to the egg.

I went to that church service. First time I'd been inside a church for a very long time. I felt so drawn to the church it was an odd feeling. When Sammy was a baby and in NICU (neo natal intensive care) in Brisbane, I so needed to see a chaplain,but as it was over the Christmas/New Year break, there was no one there. So I knew at that point that I was searching for something again. I had never left my faith, just had become slack! So that started my attending the church. It was the Church of Christ and the church service was unlike anything I had ever been to before. Gone was the traditional format - completely. I walked into the church to the sound of a band belting out a gospel song, and the angelic voice of Barbi, gave me goose bumps! I went to church for a few years, until Mickey was about 12 months old. It was then the shit hit the fan and stuff went down in that church that to this day I don't understand. The upshot was that Barbi was asked to leave and had to stand down from all her commitments. Naturally many of us who had begun attending that church through the ministries that Barbi ran, were quite upset by the whole thing. I kept attending MOPS for another two years, but it was never ever the same again. The church services were hollow without the leadership of Barbi and without her heartfelt words and songs.

So a couple of weeks ago an invite comes in the mail, inviting me to a thanksgiving and reconciliation service - and I have decided to go. I don't know if this will recommence my attendance to the church - I am not sure, all I know is that I would like to go and see the people from before and see what has changed, and just sit through a service again, without feeling like I shouldn't be there anymore, which is how I felt when Barbi was no longer there.

Barbi is going too. This year, she has started going back that church, after years at the Baptist church. It's a fairly progressive Baptist church, but she never felt the closeness to that church as with the Church of Christ.

Party time

It was our 11th wedding anniversary yesterday. We have been together for 17 years - which we celebrate on the 25th October. Another good reason for our weekend away, because it fell in between the two.

I saw my Mum yesterday morning and she knew I was going into town to buy some ingredients for our meal. She asked if we were having a party - and I said 'no', just a 'nice night'.

Don't you just love when a night comes together and you do indeed have a party. A party for two it was, and we had a superb evening together. We started with a little wine, and then when the kids went to bed we adjourned into the bedroom for entree.

We came out and I continued to cook my meal. The meal was absolutely divine. It was exactly how I'd planned it to be. I didn't have a recipe - just an idea.

I cooked the most tender eye fillet steaks. They were about 2" high and pink in the middle, just perfect, Peter's was a little more rare. The vegies were char grilled, potato, sweet potato, onion, garlic, red capsicum and organic asparagus. These were cooked with olive spray oil and then I added a dash of avocado oil at the end. The potatoes were pre cooked in the microwave, so didn't take long, I just basically wanted the 'lines' on them. Instead of piling the vegies on the plate and then the meat beside, I 'built' it up and put the steak on top with a couple of tender asparagus spears. I dribbled a little avo oil and expensive balsamic vinegar around the edge of the plate. The result was absolutely fantastic.

We exchanged gifts too, I had downloaded the latest Led Zeppelin album that was 'remastered'. I even printed the CD covers, so they looked really good. I also bought him two tickets to the PGA at the Hyatt in December. He was pretty rapt. I got a present and was totally blown away. He bought me a fine gold bangle which I had admired in the catalogue earlier in the week. I thought it would make a great Christmas present so was quite overwhelmed with emotion when I opened it. He was surprised at my reaction, had no idea I would be so surprised. I haven't taken it off so far, it's gorgeous.

We drank some yummy wines. My favourite chardonnay, Yellow Tail, the rest of the Yendah Durif that we were given at the Food and Wine Show which was delectable even after it had been open for a week. We finished off with some Galway Pipe port which I had bought him some time ago and never tasted..........gosh it was good. We played music all night long, thank goodness my kids are good sleepers because it was quite loud. I bought some more music...........bit dangerous having me near a computer when I have had some wine to drink lol. I think I only bought a couple of songs, and they weren't even for me!!

We even made a surprise phone call fairly late - to the only person in the world who we would dare to ring so late. When I lived in Springbrook I made friends with a counsellor who worked at the top rate private school near Mudgeeraba. He lived a few doors down from me, and kept an eye out for me. We used to have dinner together and he would cook for me sometimes, because as we were both on our own, it was nice to cook for someone, as neither of us really cooked for ourselves. It is because of him that I love Mundial knives, because Noeli had a great knife which I would use in his kitchen. He taught me how to make the Beef Vindaloo which I still make today. And he also taught me to love good red wines. Needless to say when Peter came up on weekends and then when Peter moved up, we would enjoy many meals together and stumble back up the road to our house. Many a time Peter would walk pass our house and miss the driveway as it was so damn dark and he was so drunk!! We have seen Noeli about three times since we have been back here. He was still on his own, and we were worried about him. He seemed to drink more than he ate. He looked older than his years and I worried about his health and his happiness. He rang us quite a while ago and has a lady friend, which is just wonderful news. Talking to him last night was great, and he assured us he would be up to visit before Christmas.

It was midnight before we went to bed. I couldn't believe we had stayed up so late and had such a fantastic time. We are truly blessed to have the relationship that we share. We share so much more than three children. We share the same values and even though we are so different from one another, it just works so well.

My favourite TV Show

I just wanted to write today about something that's not particularly important. I mean really in the whole grand scheme of things a favourite TV show doesn't really rate ............

..........................(sigh)..................... I have been watching Prison Break since the first episode and I love the show as much now as I did then. I never get sick of looking at Wentworth Miller and watching him portray a very interesting character. The show is exciting, violent and totally unpredictable.

And then there's the eye candy...........

Our fabulous weekend

I have been putting off this post all day. Simply because I don't know where to start raving about it. I went and had dinner with Barbi on Friday night, which was lovely, and I was sensible and was home and in bed by 10pm. Much better than my normal form. I was up early and in the shower and got everyone organized. We were on the road by 7.50am. We dropped off the kids, and it took all my strength to be civil and polite and not bolt out of the place lol...... I was so excited I found it hard to stand still.

We headed off, stopped off and bought some fuel and some much needed coffee. Barbi's directions were spot on and we found the Holiday Inn without a hitch. The hardest part was getting from the foyer to our room. We were given a pass key, (like a credit card) which needed swiping before the elevator would go beyond a certain floor to our rooms. Dh in his eternal wisdom, (why I believed him I never know) said that the card probably told the lift what floor we were on. He also told me room 1410 was on the 15th floor!!!! I must have been in a good mood lol, to be conned twice......... Needless to say the card didn't tell the lift where to stop and all I managed to do was confuse the crap out of the poor lift. We rode around in a vertical kind of limbo for a few minutes when I decided I needed help!! The man at the desk must have thought we were insane........ Anyway he reswiped and re initiated our card and we were off again. This time to the 14th floor. I was rapt as it was only after 10am and we were able to check in much earlier than we thought. We dumped our stuff, freshened up and then headed out to the station, which is next door.

We rode one stop to Sth Brisbane and then took the long way to the Convention Centre. Actually in hindsight it probably wasn't the long cut, it just seemed that, because we didn't really know where we were going. The lobby into the Convention Centre is just huge. We headed straight to the area where Matt Moran's show was being held, so we only got a quick glance at what was on offer. We sat through the cooking show, which was good, but took quite a while. To put this comment into perspective, I thought we would have been leaving there by about 2pm. I thought we would see everything and would be ready to leave then.............. I couldn't have been more wrong.

We left the cooking demo and promptly found us some wine to taste. We bought ourselves some glasses, as after one tasting I decided I couldn't drink out of plastic for the entire day. As we warmed up the process, we just ambled from one stall to the next. Everywhere we went we were greeted with friendly, helpful and informative stall holders. I think they quickly surmised that we weren't just pissheads looking for a free drink,but that we were actually interested.

There was a huge mobile Wyndham Estate mobile van,


Wyndham Estate Bin 555 is my favourite reasonably priced shiraz. It's always good to buy when on special, so when we saw this huge truck, we knocked on the door to see what was on offer. When they said we could fit into the 4pm session, I thought that was pushing the envelope and that we might not be still around................

We even found the Yellow Tail stall, that's my favourite Chardonnay.............

We got quite tiddly, just having the best time, tasting, and talking to everyone....... I bought an apron, a bottle of wine from Bunnyconnellan, for obvious reasons, but also because it was as good as Yellow Tail Chardonnay. It was $20 a bottle, and I looked forward to drinking it on my birthday. We bought two six packs of beer we didn't want, because it came with a book and a t'shirt, I drank a 'lay back' because we bought the beer. We nearly bought a good coffee machine, but good sense and lack of funds prevailed - definitely something to look at down the track though. The brand was Rancilio and made the best coffee. We tasted a few dips and some nice gluten free bread, but the wine was unequivocally the highlight!!

We left the show, to 'The Good Food and Wine show is finished for today, please leave the building!'.

And I thought we would not stay there past 2pm!!

The session at the mobile cellar door was for shiraz and was informative and run by a vitner horticulturalist (he had a different name, but something like that). What a fabulous job!!

We came back to the hotel and then adjourned to the restaurant for dinner. The food was held up, as they lost our docket, which was great, because it was exorbitantly priced and we got dessert, coffee and free drinks. (I drank diet coke!!).

The next day we wanted to go to the museum, but we were both quite tired, even though we were in bed early. We walked through the Stanley St markets and just enjoyed being together, not rousing at anyone, not worrying about anyone, and just enjoying the different scenery and feeling like a couple again.........

We are going again next year, and are hoping to go for two nights! It's a day we will be talking about for a very long time.

Weekend @ Daisy's

A fun weekend was had scrapbooking away. Those who don't scrapbook, can't quite comprehend that we can actually spend the entire weekend scrapping. Mind you there's a lot of sociaizing, eating, drinking, chatting going on too.

I didn't stay at the motel this time, I came home to sleep. Thankfully I only live 2 mins away from the store. I got there latish on Friday as I still had Mickey home, and had to wait for Peter to come home. Thank goodness Mickey had turned a corner that day, and was feeling much better. The kids and Peter were off to the fete that night. I'm so lucky the retreat's always scheduled for that weekend...............

As usual I took ages to settle in and start scrapbooking seamlessly. I always spend the first night sitting there looking at my work and procrastinating. By Sunday I'm on a roll and don't want to stop. There were classes, a christmas bauble thing, and a christmas book, I got the stuff but didn't do the classes - once I found my mojo I wasn't stopping for anybody. I took ages to make the Christmas tree, because I stuffed up and had to fix my mistake. Suzy took great pleasure in telling me the ladies in the class finished it in half the time lol........ I wonder if there's is as beautiful as mine!!!

The theme for the retreat was Christmas at Daisy's, hence the Christmas head pieces in the photo. I hate dressing up and put the head band on only for the shot. I always end up with a huge headache within about ten minutes of even wearing a headband, so I wasn't going to persist with the crown.






Sammy and Mickey, my journalling on the back says I am not sure when this was taken, it's either Easter or Fathers' Day this year. I love this photo - those boys are just beautiful, the photo gladdens my heart. I write on the back of many of my layouts, and have told the children, so that one day down the track, probably when I'm gone, hopefully they'll remember that I write on the backs of my layouts. These are my legacy for my boys.
Mickey and his good friend Kye. They had a great time this afternoon. They got into a huge fight too, would you believe Mickey got stuck into Kye, because Kye his Sammy ........even though we don't condone hitting, I thought it was pretty special that my young son would turn on his best friend to protect his older brother - what loyalty. Like good friends should, they hugged and made up and played the rest of the afternoon without incident. Two passionate boys, there are bound to be fireworks ocassionally.
Some little shots of our Caloundra week.
Fishing and kayaking on Golden Beach.
Me, Barbi, Suzy and Janelle, holding Santa, so we could be silly like those photos where the person lies across the front...........


My Christmas Tree advent calendar made as per Suzy's instructions and a class she did a few weeks ago, that I couldn't make. I love it, and think it's an elegant replacement for the felt countdown I currently have.

Cocktail Hour

Thanks Chrissie for keeping tabs on my little man. He is a little better today. Not enough better for my liking, but slowly but surely. I had to take him out this afternoon, as Peter had his colonoscopy and rather than wait in the clinic we went to some stores and killed some time. He ate a couple of cinnamon doughnuts which was good - at least he is getting some fat and calories. He was exhausted a couple of hours later when we got home. He's now in bed, sleeping. He will stay home from school again tomorrow. I have rung school and I won't be at work tomorrow either. I hope I get paid...........oh well, I am a Mummy first and foremost.

It's cocktail hour - Thursday evening in our house has always traditionally been a drinks night. I am having a couple of little wines, as I sacrificed my fruit today. (A girls gotta get her priorities right..........) I bought the new Eagles CD today, and am enjoying it immensely - quite frankly they couldn't do anything bad!!

Off to watch Inspector Rex and read some of my book - The Time Travellers Wife.

Dr. Mum

In amongst the ventolin, seretide, anti histamine eye drops, prednisone, penicillin, paracetomol and ibuprofen, I have become Dr. Mum!! With Billy-Joe's asthma, Sammy's allergic conjunctivitis, and Mickey's tonsillitis, I have a veritable pharmacy on hand.

I took Mickey to the hospital yesterday afternoon, as I was becoming concerned for his lack of improvement. He was as hot as Hades again, and extremely lethargic. Three and a half hours later, I was home with a different antibiotic to try on him. He is a little improved today, although Dr. Mum has inspected his tonsils and there's no change at this point in time. The school fete is tomorrow night, so the little man is getting a little anxious about missing his long awaited ride in the cup and saucer. I don't know what to do about work tomorrow either. Don't know whether to just ring now and get it organized, or wait until later........

Peter has a routine colonoscopy this afternoon - so I will drive him to that, go to Hardly Normal and get some photos done, and just try and kill time with an unwell little boy in tow. If it were closer to home, I could come home in the intervening time, but it's probably not worth it.

On a lighter note, Prison Break wasn't on last night...............I hate that when you are watching a show week after week, and then just to drag it out they cut it for a week or more.........grrrrr........

My parents arrive home today from Phuket!! Woohooo!!

The week that is

Today is another day looking after my youngest. Mickey has been ill since Friday night - and this has really knocked him, I have never ever had him this sick before. I took him to the doctor on Sunday who found nothing untoward, so we came home to continued high temperatures and more lethargy and general unwellness. His visits to the toilet weren't frequent, but were very very runny. On Tuesday I took him back to the doctor and because he gagged so hard when the doctor checked his throat, it gave the doctor a good look at his tonsils and he diagnosed tonsillitis. Yesterday afternoon, after one dose of antibiotics and a dose of Nurofen, (quite frankly I think the panadol I had been giving him did diddly squat) he perked up a bit and even played a game of Snakes and Ladders with Billy-Joe. He even ate some tea, which was great to see. It's now nearly midday and he has lain around all morning. He is cold so I have covered him lightly, his temp isn't too bad. I hope he can go to school tomorrow, so I can do all my normal things.

Then I got a fright last night when Billy-Joe's asthma took a turn for the worst. I was within minutes of calling an ambulance or taking him to casualty. Actually if it happens next time, I would probably opt for the ambulance. I have done a few mercy dashes to the hospital and they aren't the wisest way of getting there, although given our proximity, probably the quickest.

Peter is having a routine colonoscopy tomorrow, so I will take him down and then go and have some photos developed. I had given him a good hit of seretide, plus a dose of prednisone. Fortunately the ventolin gave him some relief. Poor boy looks like the wreck of the hesperus
but was determined to go to school as the local state school is holding a concert and he was looking forward to going.

Last night was interesting, as Billy-Joe took ages to go to sleep and then because he had drunk copious amounts of water, had several trips to the toilet and then Mickey was unsettled because he couldn't sleep because he had a long and late afternoon nap, so it was well after midnight before everyone was settled enough that I could doze off.

No prizes for guessing where I was for a few hours this morning. I did my chores and hit my bed - just bliss. Tomorrow is busy, Friday is a work day and the scrapbooking retreat means there will be two very late nights, so I needed to catch up somewhere.

My new ipod arrived last night. It's pretty cool. It's so good having it back and I was dreading the set up, but it was a breeze, so much easier than the old one.

I ordered a new printer the other night...........oooohhh those tantalizing 'buy' buttons. I had just paid to have my print head cleaned plus had to replace cartridges which were brand new...........and have to buy a new machine anyway. I was so peeved that I had even bought the second last lot of ink, that would have gone 3/4 of the way to a new printer. It's done a lot of printing for me, and is over four years old, so it hasn't done too badly with the amount of work it has done.

I have bought this one.

I can't wait. I bought it from here. They only charged $10 freight and I bought 500 sheets of high quality Epson paper too.

Kate Morgan

I have started a diet again. I am almost loathe to admit it, for fear that admitting it aloud may attract failure. Sometimes I wonder if you don't tell anyone, would it be more successful. I have started a meal replacement diet called Kate Morgan , but will journal that journey on my other blog

Health Matters

It's three weeks since I went back onto my medication and things are still heading in an upward direction. It's slow - but sure. The hot flashes have stopped - thank goodness. I am sleeping better, and am still needing quite a lot of rest. I find I am getting very tired, which are the anti depressants still finding their equilibrium within my system. I know that will still take a few weeks to settle down, meanwhile I am just relishing in the ability to be able to get to sleep, stay asleep, and get back to sleep when I get up to the loo, which is sometimes twice a night with the hotter weather and an increase in water consumption. On another upside, I went back to the gym today. I have been doing some yoga and stretch work at home since last week, because my legs and hips felt so sore and awfully stiff. I don't want to be old and not be able to move, I know I have to keep the flexibility up otherwise it will go - and the chronic pain will set in. The yoga class was great, but even better was the fact that I walked through the doors of the gym again. I restarted my suspended membership and changed it back to an aerobic membership rather than a gym one. If I can only get there twice in one week, so be it, I am finished beating myself up about not getting there 'enough'!! Who knows, when my fitness levels increase I will go back to dancing too. Just at the moment, nights at home are far more tempting and inviting and more restful.

I am very pleased with my progress so far........stay tuned for further developments.

Holiday update

Better late than never.

We had a lovely break, so much so we booked again for next year. We have booked a different unit though, as our usual one is getting a bit 'tired' looking, and by admission of the managers, the owner isn't prepared to pay any money on the place. The new unit has much bigger lounge area, as they have switched the rooms which are dining and lounge areas. They have therefore been abel to fit in a proper lounge suite which looks really nice, and actually looks comfortable. Hopefully the bed is more comfortable as the bed I slept in was terribly, terribly uncomfortable. My upper back killed me, I had to take pain killers every morning, and my whole body just felt like it had been hit by a truck. How happy I was when I went back into my own bed and it took a few days for the pain to disappear. I have enough trouble anyway the last thing I need is a crap bed.

I loved the holiday, because the most difficult decision I had to make was what to eat and what to do! We ate lots of scrummy things like, waffles for breakfast, frappes for afternoon tea, thai take away (twice), once even the kids had it and really enjoyed it, lunch at the RSL, which was okay but nothing flash. On the last night we had dinner at a Chinese restaurant which we all really enjoyed and was very reasonably priced.

The weather was perfect for us. The days were quite warm with a sharp contrast to the nights, which were still quite cool. The kids swam every day, I only swam a few times, as I have to be hot before I will swim. We went to Golden Beach and took the kayak, I didn't row this time, not warm enough for me lol, Moffat Beach which I really loved, it's gorgeous there. It was a little windy but I enjoyed sitting and reading my book, while the kids played in the sand and then went and explored the rock pools with Daddy.

We walked from our unit to Kings Beach and made the kids play in the fountain. Far out, sometimes they can seem ungrateful................I told then we are going to the fountain and you will play in it, because I want to take photos. This was after the grumbles when they found out where we were going. Needless to say they just loved the fountain and we had to coerce them back out again. We swam in the Kings Beach pool. Fabulous set up, having a pool right on the beach, and it was free. I did go in because I was quite warm from the walk, but the water was freezing, though I was back in Geelong.........but it was refreshing and cooled everyone down. It was all too much for Sammy and he just laid on the bench. Bunny bought us all an icecream.........I had a caramel magnum.......mmmm delish - decadent, oh and I think the calories fell out of the packet when I opened it. (I wish!!)

The Dragon Boat races were also on, and this was a bonus and ended up being quite an emotional procession when the ladies took to the streets. There were ladies, from all over the country and from overseas countries too, there were many Canadians and they were just lovely to the kids, giving them badges, lollies and arm bands. It was emotional to stand there and watch all these ladies parade, in all their finery, some to sick to walk, and realize they had all been touched by breast cancer. The kids loved it, and Peter and I felt quite overwhelmed by what these ladies represented. They are so brave and so proud.

We all had a great time, it was really special to spend so much time together. The kids enjoyed having their Daddy around all the time. They fished most days and we all spent time at the pool. Sammy and Mickey's confidence has improved greatly in the water.

Now for some photos, hope they are all self explanatory.

It's been a long time coming.

We have been away for a week, and I will update in a new post and upload some photos too. Something pretty special happened on the last day of our holidays - very emotional and uplifting it was too. Those who know me, know I am the most unsportswomanlike person who ever walked the earth. I hate NRL, even though my boys love it, I hate soccer, I hate sport on TV full stop...... I loved cricket once, when dh no#1 was an avid fan, and I adopted the attitude, 'if you can't beat them, join them' otherwise I would have been left alone much of the time, I admit I grew to love the cricket during the early eighties, even went to the first day/night match at the MCG. But since then my foray into the sporting world is non existent. My love of Geelong, though , has never waned. I felt a little sad when I moved here, that Aussie Rules was not much watched of followed. That's changed of course, with the introduction of the Brisbane Lions. I could have changed sides, but that thought never occurred to me. Even when Geelong was playing at its worst, I never, ever entertained the idea of supporting someone else. Every week I ask my dh if Geelong won, and in the last couple of years, the excitement that maybe a premiership might be looming in the not to distant future, became more of a possibility.


To say that I was excited about Geelong being in the Grand Final was an understatement. We were going to have a BBQ here at home, but my parents are overseas, so there was no point in just us - my brother lives a fair distance away and he is now a Lions supporter, although was naturally Geelong all the way on Saturday. We watched the game, alright, it wasn't a game, it was an annihilation, at the unit in Caloundra. The game started and I felt sick in the stomach. I was so apprehensive and was steeling myself for another grand final loss. I couldn't believe Geelong just take the control of the game like that. It was like there was no other side on the field, absolutely exhilerating to watch..........I cried when they won. I cried when they showed the players' happiness. I cried when Dad smsed me that he cried too, sitting watching it in his Phuket hotel room. My husband and kidlets barrack for Geelong too, to help me and support me, it was a great family experience to share. The kids were so excited - their only connection to the town was when we went in January 2006 - and the fact that I was born and bred there.........

Good on you Geelong! You were the best team in the league this year, you deserved to win. Enjoy the accolades.

What difference a week makes.

By Monday, I was not a happy camper at all. My hot flushes were increasing, to the point I had a dozen episodes on Monday night. I worked on Monday, which, was good, because I think it helped me make some decisions.

I am good when I am out and about. I am a good teacher, and I enjoy being in the classroom. I hate feeling like I don't want to do anything. Something is not right, I am not supposed to feel like this.

When I got home from work on Monday, I rang the surgery where I was originally 'prescribed' the progesterone cream. I was told he was on holidays - and that I couldn't get an appointment until the first of November. To say I was a little distressed about this was an understatement but it was actually a blessing in disguise. I hung up from her, after she (receptionist) told me my body was addicted to oral HRT and that if I wanted to I could add a half a tablet to my regime - and made an appointment with my GP. I felt turmoil, because I felt I was going to give up the alternative, more healthy option for a quick cop out.

I saw my doctor the next morning. He told me that he had no evidence of me being menopausal as all my tests had been done at other surgeries. I assured him I DEFINITELY was. He referred me for another blood test. From that day on I was back on my anti depressants. Although their reintroduction has really knocked me, I am sleeping so much better. I have had a couple of really quiet days after driving to work wasn't such a good idea on Wednesday, and I feel rested and relaxed. I also started taking the HRT again on the Monday preempting the doctor's findings. It's now Saturday, my hot flushes have reduced by about 80% and I know I have made the right decision for me. Yes, it's sad I couldn't do it naturally, but I can't keep at something that was becoming quite detrimental to my health and well being.

And to all the proponents of natural hormone treatment - the blood test showed there was next to no progesterone in my blood stream. The small amount which showed in the blood test can be accounted by my progesterone only IUD.

I was prepared to say this isn't for me..............I had no idea I would find out that the cream wasn't even absorbing into my blood stream. This begs the question - are the many women flocking this particular doctor among the 30% for whom a placebo works???

Ikea

In the midst of the shit week, there was a highlight! There's always a highlight..........

My sister in law and a girlfriend went to Ikea on Wednesday. It had been planned for a very long time. I had a shopping list, complete with measurements. At one stage, I thought the trip would be more of a look trip, rather than a buying trip, because of the money I had to spend on my car. I actually bought lots from my list.

* chest of drawers for Mickey and Sammy. Their old drawer was one we 'adopted' from our first unit together in 1992, it was always meant to be a stop gap, and was never intended for two kids!!

* DVD storage. A funky black and white patterned shelf which can hold up to 88 DVDs
* soft, spongy stuff to put on the bottom of your kitchen drawers, cheap and much nicer than what's available elsewhere
* new tin opener because I thought Bunny lost his from downstairs ( now it's a spare)
* set of four plastic dessert bowls
* set of four glass bowls for using with cooking (like the cooking shows when they precut chilli, measure out bi carb etc)
* wine rack (really cook stainless steel thing which holds about five bottles)
* Stainless steal tissue box
* new ergonomic pillow for Mickey
* two sets of hooks for kids' rooms
* draw inserts (compartment things)

So you can see I did really well. The place is huge, I can't wait to go back again. Even the food at the cafeteria was really nice and very reasonably priced. The dessert, a lemon meringue pie, was divine. The pastry was soft and short, the lemon stuff was creamy......mmmm........just delicious.

I drove there and back, and apart from my steering wheel still vibrating like an out of control sex toy, and getting a little lost coming out of Ikea, that was eventful, and even though I haven't driven in Brisbane for a very long time, I think I did okay. Everyone was back safe and sound.

My car was packed quite full. My gf had the stuff that was the biggest, so the drama continued when on arrival she finally admitted that it wasn't going to fit into her car. (She drives a door wedge!!) Alls well, ends well, a good friend of hers came and took it home for her, that was after her dh drove several kms and couldn't fit it into his work van either lol................ Ah, but she now has an awesome scrapbooking desk, so it's all good!!

I can't wait to go back. I like the CD storage for Billy-Joe's room, they were out of stock, so I would like to get a couple of those. I would also like to look at wardrobe storage. They have some awesome systems there. Lucky the kids are older now, because I could go beserk in the childrens' area.

So, in the midst of my shit week, there were up times too.........

The day after Ikea, I took my car back to the mechanic's (fifth time!!!) and after waiting for two hours, they told me what else I needed replacing........... Cars, they keep us poor lol..................

The weekend has been busy. I slept in late yesterday morning. I couldn't believed that I'd stayed late at scrapbooking, and then perused a book a gf loaned me, and turned the lights out at 2am. Saturday was spent finishing the washing that Bunny had started the night before. I took Billy-Joe to spend the weekend with a mate, for which I was happy for because it changes the dynamics with the two little one's and life is quite peaceful. I came back home and met the plumber who was fixing the leak on our beautiful Kleenmaid oven. I had a nice conversation with him. He is leaving plumbing and going to start a Personal Coaching type business. I was most interested so chatted to him about that...............quite an apt conversation to be having I thought. I told him to send me something when he gets himself set up. Then I went into town and bought some 3/4 pj pants and sleeveless pj tops............we've gone from being cold to balmy summer weather in a matter of a day!! I bought the little ones new jammies too. I took them to Doughnut King, chatted with a friend in Rockmans and bought some new pants and a singlet top, and then headed home where I finished tidying, and folding washing.

Dinner was stir fried vegies plus chicken scrolls from the butcher. Yummo. I had an early night.

Sunday breakfast was Bunny's homemade McMuffin burgers, then I cleaned the beautiful Kleenmaid stove, and the beautiful kitchen, and the crappy bathroom. The kids were good, just playing and Mickey helped me out doing chores, which was great, especially as I didn't ask him to help.

Bunny came home from servicing his car, and then he put together the Ikea drawers. It took 2 1/2 hours....................but looks fantastic and is so much better having all that room. I am very happy with my purchase. The destructions were well pictured and made sense, all the bits were there and everything fitted together really well.

I picked up Billy-Joe and then unpacked some more Tupperware from downstairs, which I washed and put away, putting the rest in a bag for St. Vinnies.

I have had a couple of glasses of wine, and read some of my latest Jodie Picoult book (Vanishing Acts). Bunny is making dinner............gosh I love it when he cooks - what a turn on!!!

Holidays at the end of next week................yeehaaaa!!!





*

The control freak loses control

I never got to finish that post from the other day. It was so not a good day. My headache did clear though, and now a few days later, and even though I still have headaches, they aren't as frequent or as severe.........only using paracetomol twice a day, instead of all day long.

Hot flushes a little less frequent, but I am sleeping better with the St. John's Wort and Valerian, so that's something to be happy about. Except here I was not wanting to take anymore medication, and instead I am replacing it........Although I should dwell on the positives, and think that the new stuff is a lot less damaging, but I wanted to be on nothing.......nothing.........just exist on what God gave me! You know, surely all those hormones, endorphins, serotonin, cortisone, adrenalin, and all those things...........wouldn't it be good if we were given just the right amount - so we didn't need assistance. Then on the other hand, one has to question why the benefits of herbs has been around for a very, very long time.........so then maybe it isn't just a sign of the times, there's probably always been a need for things like that.

The upshot, after speaking to good friends, friends who have knowledge, friends who love me, and those who have all the above.............. I have decided that I will ring Dr. Williams' surgery tomorrow, and see what I should do. Another option, is to see Adrian the naturopath at my chemist, who may be able to make me a brew. Another option is to try another progesterone cream. Another option is to try another natural thing. I am still on the fence about going back onto HRT.

This post is finished, I want another one which is a happy one.

How are you?

I always answer with the utmost courtesy..........
"Great thanks, really good - and you?"

Let's face it, if someone asks you how you are........imagine if everyone actually espoused exactly how they were feeling.......this one small gesture of courtesy would die a natural death.

At the moment my reply would be lengthy, and a little heavy on the negative side.

"I have had headaches everyday now for weeks on end. I eat Panadol like M&Ms and it's getting to a point where paracetomol, isn't doing the trick anymore? I usually get up and have a headache within a few minutes of getting up, if I don't have one then, I usually get a worse one later in the morning, and it's really hard to kill. I've had two lots of panadol and two lots of nurofen plus and I am still achy in the head. The chemist gave me something stronger tonight but I was advised to take it later........(but I want it to go away now, once I am asleep it goes anyway!!) I don't know if I am game enough to take it while I am still 'up'.

I have been taking an extra 1/4 tsp of my progesterone cream every morning, and I don't know whether there's a subtle improvement, or whether I am really good at kidding myself. "

Have to go now, but have more to add to this post.........

Thank you

To a thoughtful friend who sent me this today.

"To lie sometimes on

the grass under trees

on a summers day,

listening to the

murmur of the water,

or watching the clouds

float across the sky,

is by no means a

waste of time."

-Sir John Lubbock

Writing is therapy - right?

Maybe if I just sit down and say how I am feeling, I can close it up and then just move on. It's kind of like praying, handing it over to God and saying I can't do this by myself, so you have to just guide me please? So I guess this is in essence a written prayer.

So where do I start? Today I was happy, no work, and the house is up to date. So that means I an do whatever I please. Anything! I sit all day and read a book!! I am too lazy to go and do something productive. I mean, I can always clean out cupboards, or clean behind stuff, or tidy kids' rooms, or scrapbook, or edit photos, or update my recipe blog, go for a walk, go to the library, go to Maroochydore and collect my much wanted bowls which have arrived.............no I sat and read a book. I did clean out the filing box, and tidy up, but that's it. I sat and read a book - half the morning and half the afternoon.

I don't go dancing when I feel like this, heck I don't want to go anywhere. I just want to stay home. Safe, content (well not really, or I wouldn't be feeling blech!) but it's the easiest option.......

I write about my positive things, and there are so many. I am grateful for them every single day - that makes me feel more guilty, because I know I have no concrete reason for feeling like this. I love my family and I love looking after them, and making sure they have everything they need. I enjoy my work, and equally enjoy not going to work - just that I like the money and the challenge of doing something I often feel totally under qualified to do.

So what are the negative things............just me!

I have been in a fair bit of pain of late. The crushed crab shells keep me going, they are fabulous. Without them, I would be in bed.......that's the honest truth. I would not be able to function. The CCS keep my back pain free, they also help my achilles and my neck and my thoracic spine too. It's my hands that have been giving me a lot of trouble of late, or more specifically my fingers. The arthritis is really giving me trouble. The fingers on my left hand have settled down a little, although they can't tolerate being squeezed by my husband, which he often loves to do when he is holding my hand. They were so sore, that at night time I couldn't even move my hand, because it was so painful. Like I said, that's settled a bit. The middle finger on my other hand, now that's a different story. It has enough pain in that top knuckle to compete with the entire left hand's original pain. It's even growing nobbly bits on it. I went to the doctor because I was concerned about the pain I was having. I am not a wimp, but it's been a couple of months, and it's not easing. There's nothing I can do about it. Osteo arthritis, can flair up and then settle down again It can be so bad that there are things I can't do. My husband gets his socks and they aren't folded properly. I turn then into themselves like my Mum does, and sometimes I just can't turn the socks inwards...........it hurts so much. Changing the bed linen is painful too, holding the whole doona while putting the cover on........holding something heavy, like a shopping bag, or even a milk carton.

Then, to top it all off...........my tennis elbow is giving me grief again. I can't even wipe down my huge kitchen bench with my right hand. Thank goodness I have always been able to do a lot of things with my left hand, so it's really no big deal...........I can feel the inflamed tendon and I can massage it, it's so acute, it almost brings tears to my eyes. I did it vacuuming, too much stress holding the vacuum in one hand. I had it years ago, and then didn't vacuum for months - dh did it for me. It's back now with a vengeance.........

On the hot flush front, I am still having flushes, although not as many. I rang the surgery and am taking a 1/4 of a teaspoon extra of the cream for a fortnight to see if that makes a difference. I have also noticed that if I drink more than a couple of very small glasses of wine, they're heaps worse. So I am careful. On Father's Day, I drank much less than I normally would on a day of celebration - and not that I get drunk, drinking less, is never a bad thing. Then I read back on all the wonderful things that the cream promises, and I don't see them all fulfilled yet, I need to be patient. It promised that I would sleep better, and that certainly hasn't changed. I am taking the Valerian tablets every night now, and have a much better night's sleep.

I have prattled, aimlessly, possibly jumping from one thought to the next.

I have a special friend, a man I met in Springbrook. Peter and I became very good friends with him, but he and I were friends first. He lived on his own, was near retirement and we enjoyed each other's company. It's his fault I learnt to love expensive red wines!! He was a guidance counsellor at the private school where he worked and he would often listen to my ramblings. I would get into these types of 'moods' and he would always say.......
"Jen, don't should on yourself."

I always feel guilty and think I should be doing something other than what I am doing........... Like today, I should be doing cleaning, whatever, whatever, rather than reading a book........and this afternoon I heard Noel's words in my ear...........'Jen, don't should on yourself'.

It would help me to remember that more often.