Normalcy Returns

I feel better today than I've felt for weeks. The fog has lifted! It was partly due to my ever present depression rearing it's ugly head, plus a head cold. I already felt dreadful before I actually got sick, so it was obviously building up a few days before hand. I remember craving for naps in the days leading up to the retreat - days before I was unwell. Wouldn't it be nice, if this is it now for 2009. No more bugs or viruses for me! I can hope and pray. I will just keep eating well and taking my vitamins and exercising and I know it all contributes. Who knows how sick one would get without those things.

I started the day with washing, as always, then continued with more washing after I'd taken the kids to school. I headed out to the treadmill, with my ipod and current audio book. (New Moon by Stephanie Meyer). I was stuffed at the 25 minute mark, so walked the last five minutes. It seems the week's break took its toll on me. Plus it's still incredibly humid, that doesn't help. The sweat just runs down my body and there's not a breath of air.

I had an opportunity to have coffee with one girlfriend, but I declined, as my morning was full and Barbi was coming for coffee. I finished my housework and then took Bunny to the car place to have his CD/Tuner I'd bought him for Christmas installed. I brought him back home so he could at least eat something, and then drove him back out an hour later. I also had to get fuel, hoping I wouldn't recognize anyone as I was a little scruffy and hot looking - not how I'd normally leave the house. I couldn't wait to hit the shower when I got home. Now it's lunch time and the morning is gone.

It's week 6 and I've only worked one day this term. I hope that means that everyone is just incredibly well, not that they don't want me anymore. It's weird to go this long without work. Yesterday, the worry got to me. DB told me to enjoy my time at home and not feel guilty. Make the most of it he said. As is normal when I get myself in a tizz about things, I forget to pray. I am always ready to pray for thanks, very rarely asking for anything. So yesterday, I sat myself down and prayed - just handed it over. God will take my worry from me. It's a good feeling. It doens't mean I feel any less concern about not having work, just makes the problem seem shared, and not so dire anymore. This has happened many times in the last three years, and the situation has always resolved itself. Working my kind of job, is beyond my control. I don't know when I will work. I don't know how often I'll work. I only know that when I do work, I get paid well. It's a big tradeoff, but one I was willing to buy into. It's just something that the control freak in me finds a little difficult to deal with sometimes. And God helps smooth those edges for me. I don't control everything. The school could have any number of reasons for not ringing me at this stage.
* no-one is ill
* if a contract teacher's contract wasn't renewed from last year, they would get called before me, especially if it's a teacher who has worked there in a permanent capacity.

Things will change, when teachers become ill, or the previous contract teachers find other contracts to fill. I know I have a niche. Patience!

Hump day again. Where does the week go?

Sensitive Skin

For over 30 years I've had sensitive skin. It's selective sensitive skin, and I've pretty much worked it out. I have to change my mascara regularly, otherwise my eyes itch, but that's recommended and hygienically a good idea anyway. I can wear most moisturizers on my face without a problem. I can wear perfume, but can't wear it on my throat, and sometimes not on my décolletage either, as I'll end up in a rash. I can't wear fake jewellery as I end up with a major rash. That's not a huge problem though lol...but means I stay away from costume jewellery most of the time, as often the clasps or beads are metal which I react to. I have to be careful that jeans don't have pocket studs, as I'll flare up. I don't use soap on my nether regions because the skin is so sensitive and I'd end up burning and barely able to sit, I hurt so much. I have used the same deodorant for years and years. Rexona has always been good, a brand that I can wear without developing a nasty rash. It has never worried me, because I generally wear the same fragrance, but there are enough different ones if I want a change. I always come back to the Musk scented one. Last week, Billy-Joe took my deodorant to camp, so I bought a replacement. I noticed a new bottle shape, and hoped like mad that they hadn't changed the ingredient. I was fairly optimistic, I mean why would you change the contents, the outside is just to 'freshen' up the look of it, as it hadn't changed in years.

I am very disappointed! I have developed an itch under both underarms. The same itch I get whenever I've change my deodorant, or if I've used Peter's. I don't know what to do now. I still have some left, the one that Billy-Joe took to camp, but I am at a loss as to what to do when it runs out. I know it's not the aluminium that I'm allergic to, because that's in most deodorants. I have even tried the crystal type deodorant, and I still get a rash from it. Plus I hate the fact I have to wet it before I can use it, then I have a drip of water running down my body. I generally put deodorant on after I'm dressed too, to stop getting white marks on my clothes, so I don't want water dripping down when I'm already dressed. I have bought other brands which state they are hypo allergenic, but I still get a rash from them.

After some googling, I've discovered I'm not alone. Seems like all things internet though, they are usually American responses to Americans with the problem, so I can't try any of their recommendations because they aren't available here.

Going without is not an option. My search will continue.

I've lost my joie de vivre

I have none at all at the moment. The only joy I have is just being with my friends or loved ones. There's no energy left for anything else. I can't exercise, I can't read for long, I don't want to visit anyone, I can't create. I just do the bare minimum. I get up, shower, look after my family, clean, wash, and then am just happy to find my recliner and I sigh when I recline. I'm just exhausted, then I get up again later to cook and look for my bed earlier than what's usual for me. I take my daily vitamins, I had been taking echinacea and zinc tabs, but nothing really helps. If I don't feel any better on Monday, I will go to the doctor.

This morning, I promised to go and watch the kids at golf. I arrived an hour after them, giving myself a little more time in bed. I know on a Friday night, I should come home at a sensible hour, but it's a big highlight of my week, and I don't want it to end. I took my stuff last night, but needn't have bothered. It was 9.20pm before I sat down to scrap. Karen, Barbi and I, had caught up, and shared a bottle of wine. I crave for my time with Karen, and I'd enjoyed some quiet time with Barbi before everyone had arrived. We ate together, still wary of the Thai, so we had KFC instead. Later Karen and I did the frappe run. Scrumptious! I pottered on Barbi's computer, tidying up some things for her. The main object was to fix a problem with her antivirus program. In the end I couldn't fix it. I was sorry I couldn't fix it for her. I am so glad those kids of issues are no longer problems for me. When I buy a laptop later in the year, I won't have any qualms buying a mac, even though they're so much dearer that PCs.

I was home in bed by about 1.20am. Not early enough on a normal night, let alone a night I'm feeling like crap. I headed out to the golf course still and video camera in hand. I only grabbed the SLR at the last minute. Lucky I did because the video camera was as dead as a dodo bird. I got some okay shots. Next time I'll take my zoom I think. Much easier photographing golfers than footballers lol...... The kids enjoyed themselves although Sammy struggled. I'd asked Peter to have a quiet word with the instructor which he did today. I wanted him to know that Sammy needs constant reminders to refocus. The poor little mite, my heart aches for him watching him in these types of situations, and yet I know that it does him good to be exposed to different things. I watch Mickey, 8 years old and full of confidence, a far cry from the intrepid uncertainty and fear of failure and lack of confidence which his 9 year old brother displays. Next week, we'll leave Mickey and Billy-Joe to play the nine holes afterwards.

We discovered after we got home, that Sammy wasn't feeling well either.

I snoozed for three hours, I've just got up. Sammy has been lying down the entire time too. It's a very quiet household today. Peter is downstairs listening to the nags with his mate, Billy-Joe is upstairs too.

Saturday night is 'date night' with my husband. I am going to cook a green curry. It takes a little effort, but just tastes far better than any Thai I've eaten in an Australian restaurant, so it will make our night special. It will be a nice evening to just be together. The kids can go to bed early tonight.

I'll read some blogs, ichat Karen, then I'll upload some photos I took from today.

Thank you

I received another award today. I write my blog for me. I write my blog to remind me of things. I write my blog to help me work through things. I write my blog to help me become a better person. I write my blog to anazlyze and appreciate. And sometimes I write my blog, and it touches someone else. Thank you.

Following is a description of what the PROXIMIDADE Blog Award represents:

"This blog invests and believes in the PROXIMITY-nearness in space, time and relationships. These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement! Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers! Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this clever-written text into the body of their award."

Busy Me

I'm making the most of my days at home. I know there's always a positive in everything, and that me being home a lot at the moment, isn't a bad thing. I can honestly say I feel relaxed and happy and very content at the moment. I have no money, but the bills are being paid and that's the main thing. I am able to be more patient with my kids and that's a really nice gift for me to be able to give to them. They don't deserve a cranky and tired Mum all the time.

I have been very busy this morning. I am happy that it's 11am and I can sit down and relax for a few hours until it's time to get my kids from school. I went down to the treadmill today for the first time in a week. This cold has left me feeling a bit lethargic, so I didn't go on yesterday, but really felt I needed to make the effort. I'm very happy I did. I have been introduced to the new world of audio books, so I'm looking for ways that I can listen to my books. Thanks to Alaine I have been introduced to this new world. It's something I have never considered doing before. But it opens up a whole new world of possibilities. Why have I never thought of it before? Well, the truth is, I have thought about it before, but during my googling, I couldn't figure out how to do it that wouldn't be expensive. As far as I could tell, it was just as expensive as actually buying the book, and I didn't see the point of that. Alaine, gave me some books over the weekend and I have started Twilight by Stephanie Meyer. I have been wanting to read the books ever since Suzy returned from Mackay, but I just hadn't bought them, seeing them as a treat that I would allow myself, once I had returned to work. Last night I downloaded the second book in the series and am very excited that I was able to figure out how to download the book and that it actually works. It's even got the same narrator as my first book. Alaine also gave me other books and I'm very excited to read them too. Never will housework, driving to get kids, cooking, be the same again, as I can listen to books. I'd like to get Billy-Joe hooked on it too, although I don't know how the ipod shuffle will cope with it.

I am also determined to work out how to use my new DVD recorder to how I want to use it. I have never been able to record anything, whether it be on a DVD or VCR as it was always too complex, I never did it often enough, and in the case of the years that Peter and I have been together, the original VCR he had, he no longer had the book for it. By the time we'd updated our VCRs I'd lost interest. And because he always hooked up things, and the stations were never on the correct number, I just got totally confused, and gave up. Now, however, everything is set up how it should be and the new DVD recorder makes it so much easier. I tried last night. Alaine and Sheree
recommended the show Dexter, so I've set about recording that as it's on when I watch Underbelly 2. I couldn't work out how to set the DVD recorder to record every Monday, but I posted on a forum last night, and before I'd gone to bed, there were three very helpful replies. I have set it up now, so I'm very excited that I took the time to work it out. I'd like to have shows to watch when the ratings season is over.

I am a bit tired now, a busy but productive morning and this cold, has sapped what little energy I had, out of me. I still have photos to edit of the advert shots I took for Barbi last week, so I need to finish those, so she can submit them.

As an aside, I am impressed with Alaine and Sheree's book reviews. Book reviews were my forte in school, but now I totally suck at them. My reviews on Good Reads are limited to whether I liked the book or not. I read others reviews and am amazed at the amount of thought an analysis they have put into their reading. As my memory has suffered in recent years, due to hormonal changes and my anti depressants, I am going to work on this aspect of reading. I have started taking Gingko Biloba a few weeks ago, and think I can already notice a difference. I am hoping, this too, will help with my reading. Alaine, talks about books and then asked for my response, and I couldn't answer her, because I just can't remember that level of detail. I only remember whether or not a book has left a lasting impression upon me, but I can't remember character names or specific happenings in the book. I am lucky if I remeber a general premise of the novel. I was once quick, analytical and focussed. I'd like to be that way again. Like I mentioned in an earlier post, just like Ali Edwards always has a word of the year, mine this year is 'Focus' and this is also for this goal of mine. I will go back to logging my books on Good Reads and will endeavour to have book reviews that are actually worth reading.

100 Things

I found this on my girlfriend's blog, and thought I'd give it a go. Not sure how well I'll go.

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain (does it count when it was on a cog train?)
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelos David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had Chickenpox
89. Saved someone's life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day

Wow, only 38 things.......an interesting exercise.

My Layouts done at the Retreat

 

These were taken on the morning over the holidays that Lisa and I took the kids to the park, they played and we chatted and drank coffee.

 

Mickey giving his Opa  big cuddle. I have journalled on the back of this layout, about his love for my children.

 

Photos taken at the Food and Wine Show 2008.

Great weekend for everyone

Everyone was excited about this weekend. I love the feeling of anticipation that every Friday holds - and that happens whether or not there's any grand plans for the weekend. We all come home Friday afternoon, with that smug content feeling of knowing that the next few days are going to be relaxing and fun. With the exception of dear Bunny, who still works on weekends, but he still loves the weekends too. No wonder he sleeps so well, he's exhausted.

All three boys decided to play golf for their sport this year. They enjoy going out on many Sundays with their Daddy and he enjoys taking them out there, although like any excursion when you take all three it's not an easy endeavour. We really encourage Sammy to go and play now, and he's the 'fly in the ointment' so to speak, because when you live by the beat of your own drum, playing something in a group can be a difficult thing to do. They started their clinic on Saturday morning. We bought them some smaller golf clubs so that they can be more comfortable and also have more chance of experiencing success when the clubs actually 'fit'. The kids had a great time, and went out again on Sunday to practise what they'd learned so far. Peter followed Sammy around on Saturday as he needed constant reminders to focus and to listen. I feel for him so much sometimes, when he just flies off with the fairies, and then gets frustrated because he only has half the information. I am wondering whether or not it's worth saying a few words to the coach. I have no dramas with someone constantly pulling up Sammy and making sure he's listening. He never gets cranky about that, and it always pulls him back to the present moment.

It's a cool thing that the boys are doing something all together, it's the first time. Peter is pretty rapt that they are showing such an interest for something he's so passionate about. He has visions of being in his 70s and having his adult kids come and get him for a game of golf. He's already told them he wants a buggy lol.......

I had a lovely weekend at the Daisy's Retreat. Friday night was a quiet night, and not much scrapbooking actually got done. There was a lot of talking and listening, in between dinner and cups of tea. It was a night of catching up and filling in the gaps and the opportunity to speak at length rather than the quick grabbed conversations of normal daily life, which in this case is mostly done via email.

On Saturday I felt pretty dreadful. I'd woken up with a sore throat, sore eyes and extremely tired. I even considered going home at one point, but decided that if I went home I'd feel more miserable, at least there, I could just sit and do nothing. At home I would always find something to do, and nor would I get my scrapping stuff out. I stayed, and when my headache and eyes really played up, I just listened to my ipod and looked through idea books. I did the class in the morning, which I finished, and it was great, because I didn't have to think. Suzy was quiet in the afternoon too, that second day of the retreat slump, when you've not had enough sleep. But that was okay, it was a companionable silence which we both needed. Later in the afternoon Suzy took me into town and I got some throat lollies and some cold tablets laden with zinc and echinacea. I don't find any benefit from the 'drug' type cold tabs, and I had some nasal spray which helps me breathe from the blocked sinuses. I went home early that night, and slept a little better than the night before. I don't know if it was the cold tabs, but I woke up on Sunday feeling a little better. The sore throat was almost gone, so at least I didn't feel like I was eating razor blades.

Sunday was a good day, and the scrapbooking also came a little easier. I always feel more creative on the Sunday and I have no idea why.

The weekend was an opportunity to nuture existing friendships, but to also turn acquaintances toward the road of friendship. Barbi's always clever table arrangements, meant that many of us were geeks and avid readers. The table just buzzed with ideas and books. My palm pilot was full of new blog links, authors and websites to explore in the coming days. I can't wait to see Alaine and Sheree again. It's a shame they live in Brisbane, but they are keen to come to all the retreats, so I just need to pray that they get onto the list as they are on waiting lists.

It was another weekend where I revelled in the power of good friendships. I learned heaps, got excited about new possibilities and was creative as a great bonus.

I was determined that this week would bring in some work. I also figured that as I generally don't like to work on the Monday after a retreat, that today I would definitely get a call!! Obviously I didn't get a call, as I'm sitting here updating my blog.

Alaine, kindly copied audio books onto my flash drive and also onto a DVD. I tried listening to Twilight last night, but I couldn't concentrate, it put me to sleep lol...... Alaine listens to it while she's doing housework, so I tried listening while I was doing something menial on the computer, where I had to be there, but didn't have to think, but I just switch off from it lol..... I'm going to have to start again. I think it's going to take a little getting used to. I don't know whether it's from the counless lectures I sat in on, when if someone just keeps on talking, the brain goes on 'holiday' and visits something else........ It's a skill, and I need to practise it.

I hope the coming week brings some work.

Love and thoughts and stuff

Valentines Day was yesterday and it's always a day we celebrate. My non work situation has meant I don't have the expendable income that I'm used to, so Dear Bunny didn't get a gift this year. As his wants are few, he was fine with that, and because he'd forgotten our wedding anniversary last year, felt it was more important for him to do something for me than to receive a gift. I did make a card for him. I'd bought one several weeks ago, but the girls gave me a hard time for buying one rather than making one, so I quickly made card on Friday night as I was packing up. Thanks to Barbi for throwing me the bits of paper, ribbon and the card. Actually, the card, though simple, came up rather nice. Using a black card rather than my usual white or ivory, was a nice change too. Peter bought me a beautiful perfume, bath gel and body lotion set. I was very happy with his thoughtful gift. Even moreso because he'd ventured out of the Bunny Zone and rarely (read never) goes to the coast to buy me a gift. So I was very impressed and touched. The perfume isn't something I would normally buy, but it smells beautiful on me, and he chose it which makes it special. He knew that my Sarah Jessica Parker 'Lovely' was nearly empty. We had a nice evening together, listening to music, eating good food and celebrating Valentines Day how it's supposed to be celebrated (wink!!).

On Friday night, and yesterday while I was scrapbooking I was thinking about things. I hate it when I lose my mo-jo which happens so frequently to me. Not 100% sure why it happens, but I know that it passes, eventually, although this slump has been a long one. Not buying new goodies, means there's not new inspiration right in front of me. I'm scrapping on a shoestring at the moment, so will 'make do'. In the end, it's about the photographs and the stories I need to tell. In years time, when my children enjoy the books, the paper will probably look revolting anyway lol.....it will date, like all things dictated by fashion and taste, so it will be the photos that have the enduring attraction. I did a layout a couple of years ago and it was titled, something I don't often do - 'I am therefore I scrapbook'. That's it in a nutshell. I am a pragmatist who likes to create. I like my things to serve a purpose as well as fill the need that I have to make something. Ever since childhood, I have always made things. Actually made should be in italics because the stuff was often very bumbling and childlike, but I felt the need to create. I've never been artistic, so it's not an artistic thing within me that is trying to break free. Unfortunatley my ability to be artistic has never ventured past about grade 3 standard. Even when I studied Art at university as part of my teaching degree, it still looked very childlike.

As a kid, I would knit, crochet, patchwork, make dolls clothes. I loved sewing things for my dolls. I enjoyed teaching myself how to crochet from a womens' magazine, and for months and months I was busy crocheting circles and squares. I can remember sitting in bed on winter's mornings on the weekend, busily crocheting a tablecloth for my Mum. I was so excited about this. In typical Jenny fashion, it was all the colours of the rainbow and everything in between. It became quite large, and fitted out picnic table. Mmmmm, what was I thinking, who'd want a wool tablecloth lol..... I would ask my Dad to buy me some wool. It was a secret between he and I. I only found out late into adulthood, that it was my Mum who actually bought the wool. My Dad worked long hours, and worked shift work, heading out to the wool shop wouldn't have rated on his daily to do list. He would give it to me though, so I was very happy. I had long hair at that point in time, so the tablecloth had more of me in it than just my time and love. My Mum's gratitude was worth every stitch I'd crocheted. She showed the gratitude and happiness that only a mother could show a child who has made her something can. It would have served far better as a knee rug, and something very useful in the cold miserable winters of Geelong. Why I decided it should be a tablecloth is beyond me lol.....

In my adult years, I still knitted. I was totally self taught, and without the internet, that was no mean feat, and I was very proud of my knitting. I could even knit a fair isle which was not an easy project to tackle. Since I've moved to Qld, I've only knitted a couple of things. I still like to do it, but our winters just don't need jumpers or heavy cardigans. Plus I'd hate to think how much it would cost to knit with what I'd like to use. Even 20 years ago, I'd pay around $50 for a jumper for myself. An expensive hobby, but a practical one as I always wore what I made. I also sewed, although my sewing was never as good as my knitting. I'd had lessons at one stage, and made a beautiful woolen suit. A wool, box pleated skirt and a lovely fully lined blazer to go with it. It was gorgeous, and I did a fantastic job on it. My problem was always fitting myself. I couldn't fit myself and as I used to be large busted and small waisted, all the patterns needed adjustment, a skill I never mastered. When I moved here I continued to sew a little, but I missed the variety of fabric that I was used to in Geelong. Nowadays I limit my sewing to repairs and my layouts. I am planning on making some new cushions for the lounge. I want to use a heavy brocade type fabric with a black velvet swirls. I know it won't be cheap, but I'll pay for four cushion covers, what one would cost me if I bought it ready made. Sewing isn't a cheap thing to do anymore. For the kids, it's so cheap to buy their clothes, so no need to sew. I had made the odd pjs, and dressing gowns, because they were cheaper made than bought, but that's about it.

Enter scrapbooking - centre stage. I'd seen a freind's album and thought it was just the best thing I'd ever seen. She told me I could do the same. I said, no, I am not artistic and I just wouldn't be able to do it. She made it her life's work to convince me otherwise. After my first Creative Memories party, I was hooked. This was a practical hobby that I could actually do. I love photo albums, but have always found something lacking because of the void of details. Scrapbooking, would allow me to showcase my photos and to add my thoughts and stories to the pages. My early foray into CM, made me do things which I wouldn't dream of doing now with a photo, but it was all part of the creative journey. It was as simple as, buy these pages, buy these stickers, buy this packet of cut triangles, use this idea book and voila you can create a beautiful page. The craft was very prescriptive and yes, even I could follow it and create lovely pages. My kids love those early books of their babyhood. I love them too, but not for their design elements. Why was every photo cut to within and inch of it's life lol........and to add insult to injury, why cut them all in ovals and circles. And if we didn't do that we went crazy on the corner rounder. I loved the cuting tools, I loved all their stuff. And one day I crossed over to the dark side! I entered a scrapbooking store and another whole new world was opened to me. I saw background papers, which filled an entire 12x12 layout, gorgeous stickers, and just so much much more than I'd ever dreamt of. I'd only just had the internet and was niiave enough to wonder if there was anything on the net about it. When I googled 'scrapbooking' for the first time I was astounded, and I spent hours and hours searching scrapbooking stores and just looking at all the lovely layouts within galleries. That was over 9 years ago.

Not long after this was when Barbi and I decided to start our own business, and Daisy Chain Scrapbooks was born. We didn't like the exclusivity that CM touted. We wanted to make scrapbooking accessible to everyone, and let everyone know, that it's okay to venture out and try new things, and that everyone's work has value and is beautiful.

While I still don't consider myself artistic, I do have an eye, and I know what elements work well together. I know when a layout works and when it doesn't. I find it easy 'fixing' other's layouts. I can create a balanced page. I love playing with the papers, cutting, sticking down, rummaging through my stash for other matching embellishments. I also write much more on my layouts now than I did in my CM days. I often write large amounts on the back of my page.

While scrapbooking fills that need within me to create, while serving a purpose by creating a visual journal for my children, there are other facets which are an integral part of my life. Scrapbooking has opened up a whole new sphere on the internet, and not just looking at pretty layouts, but by following blogs, following and learning from other lessons. Whether they are life skills or photographic, editing, or scrapbooking, they're all valuable, and willingly shared over the 'net. Through scrapbooking we can share our lives with our closest friends. Through scrapbooking I've managed to meet the most awesome bunch of women who are my closest friends. Having moved to a new state in adulthood, I had many lonely years. I always had family around me, or Bunny, but true, close girlfriends fill an important hole, that really no one else can fill. Scrapbooking started as a practical hobby, was my work at one stage when we started the business, so I was able to pass that love onto others, now it's a crucial cog in my social life. Every Friday night, even if I'm dog tired, I head out to spend the night, not really to create, but to debrief and spend time with the most important people outside of my family. By Friday I'm often just hanging for that gal pal company. I can fully be myself, the professional facade of work can be dropped. I think it's therapy for us all. We are all busy mothers with families and husbands and the demands of that are often quite overwhelming. Nothing more grounding than spending the evening with my closest friends.

So yes, I still need to create. It makes me fill good, to stand back and admire something I've put together. I'm working with the things I love dearly - photos of my loved ones, my family and friends. It doesn't get much better than that. Scrapbooking has helped me be 'present' and to be grateful for all that I have. I live in the here and now, and it's an empowering thought. No longer do I count days down to events, or feel that I will be happier when, I have that, or do that. I'm happy now, and for the large part, scrapbooking has helped me realize that.

Next weekend is another retreat. Yes I want to create layouts, but it's a time to just chill out, and feel free. I get to spend time with my girlfriend whom I don't get to see often enough, so it will be lots of fun. She is always so inspiring and encouraging of my work, so who knows what delights I can create this weekend.

Now I'll just have to pray for a day or two of work this week, that would just be wonderful, and take the pressure off, and give me a little extra to spend this weekend.

I Scrapped

Last night was another lovely night of scrapbooking. I started a layout and then finished it today. I really love how it turned out. Even though I find it a little frustrating not being able to buy a lot of new stuff, I do take a great deal of satisfaction with using up with what's in my stash, and combining papers and embellishments, that may seem a little odd, but somehow work. I love this photo of Sammy and I.

I made a card too, using my Cuttlebug. I love it for it's simplicity.

The Death Toll Rises

Every time I turn on the news, the death toll continues to rise. Now they are talking that there may be around 300 people dead. There are still people who don't know what's happened to loved ones. This time of grief and uncertainty must be dreadful for the survivors to cope with. I watch on the TV as the people in Whittlesea, who are being housed in and around the community centre are cared for, there are vets who have travelled there to look after people's animals, work places have given people time off so they can go and help out. The donations coming into Whittlesea and Yea are just amazing, there are bags and bag of clothes, and boxes of food. The survivors are thankfully being well cared for, as far as food and clothing goes. There are even chiropractors there, giving free massages, this would be especially helpful for the firefighters who are still going out to do 12 hour shifts with the fires that are still burning, and still a concern.

The search continues for the arsonists who lit some of the fires. There is talk of arresting them with murder, as the fires they believe to be deliberately lit, have caused many deaths. Fortunately some of the deliberately lit fires were extinguished before they caused too much damage. The Police Commisioner Christine Nixon said that she believed it was not necessary to post a reward as people would only be too willing to help.

Donations are pouring in and the figure is currently over $31,000,000 which will go some way toward helping these people. We've been assured that no money will be taken for administration costs. I donated money today too, although I feel it is rather inadequate, but it all adds up.

Unfortunately these kinds of tragedies bring out the scum of the earth. People have been warned to not give out their credit card details on the phone to people ringing and seeking donations. Likewise, they are told to be wary of people selling raffle tickets in the name of charity for the Bushfire victims. The depravity of some people never fails to disgust me.

It's best to donate through the Red Cross. Their phone lines are quite busy so it's best to use the website for donations.

Sheer Devastation

In between my chores, and exercise regime this morning, I've been glued to the TV. The bushfires in Victoria are just horrific. There are over 100 people dead and they are saying that number will possibly double as there are still lots of people unaccounted for. I was in Geelong during the horrible Ash Wednesday fires, where we had smoke and ash filling out city as a stark reminder that the devastation was fairly close. Seventy people died in those fires in 1983. When I lived in Springbrook I was evacuated from my home, I left my rented home with my small car filled with my 'treasures'. I couldn't take my cat because she was nowhere to be found, so I just prayed she was safe. Both those incidences gave me a glimpse of the fear of such a situation. And being able to view the aftermath was a very sobering experience. Fortunately in Springbrook no homes were lost.

I had to turn off the TV, because me sitting in front of it crying is unfortunately not going to help anybody. My heart and my prayers go out to all those affected by this. People have lost farms, homes, cars and precious family and friends. People have been burned alive in their cars as they were fleeing their homes. A newsreader and his wife was killed, he was a regular on the TV every night in all the years I lived in Victoria. As this unfolds, there will be many stories, of hope, bravery and sadness. Fires are still burning and news is still not filtering out to those waiting.

The most tragic part of all this is that the fires were deliberately lit.

Those arsonists will wish they were never born.

My first born

I saw this on a friend's blog, and wanted to do it too.

1. Were you married at the time? No

2. What were your reactions when you found out you were pregnant? Euphorically happy.

3. How old were you? 32

4. How did you find out? My period was due in the morning, that day I gave up smoking and drinking. I felt crook. Two days later I did a pregnancy test from the store and it was negative. I still felt I was pregnant. Two days later I went and had a test done at the doctor's and it was confirmed. I was so excited I nearly ran into a car because I was floating and oblivious to everything around me - a bit scary really when I realized what I'd done.

5. Who did you tell first? I couldn't wait for my fiance to come inside to tell him. We were both very excited. We didn't tell anyone.

6. Did you want to find out the sex? Yes, I needed to know desperately because I so badly wanted a girl and I needed to know if it wasn't, as I couldn't bear any disappointment at the birth. I am so pleased I found out.

8. Did you deliver late or on time? 10 days early

9. Did you have morning sickness? Sick for three months

10. What did you crave?I lived on french toast. I couldn't face meat, and I didn't drink coffee for the next several years.

11. Who/what irritated you the most? I had really bad carpal tunnel syndrome and my sciatica kept me bed ridden at the end. The last several weeks were very difficult.

12. What was your first child's sex? Boy

13. How many pounds did you gain throughout pregnancy? I can't remember, probably about 20kgs - way too much.

14. Did you have any complications during pregnancy? Pre Eclampsia.

15. Where did you give birth? Local General Hospital, they were fabulous.

16. How many hours were you in labor? From the first 'show' 24 hours.

17. Who drove you to the hospital? My husband drove me. We went to hospital at about 9pm at night, about 12 hours after my 'show'.

18. Who watched? My husband was there and my Mum, who was fabulous. DB was hopeless and found it all very difficult as it was a difficult birth. I had a room full of specialists, things weren't going well. The baby was distressed and my cervix was swollen as he was head butting it from being in a posterior position.

19. Was it natural or c-section? Ventouse Extraction. I can still hear the sound of the scissors cutting me.........

20. Did you take medication to ease the pain? Gas, which I couldn't breathe properly because I was in pain. Thankfully the needle numbed 'the area'.

21. How much did your child weigh? 5lbs 4 oz

22. Did your child have any complications? Sore head from the forceps.

23. Why did you choose his name? His first name is after his paternal grandfather and his second name is after his maternal grandfather, which we shortened and hyphenated into 'Billy-Joe'.

24. How old is your first born today? He is 12.

The Mac Love Affair Continues.......

And I'm not talking about the hamburger lol.....

I've had my imac now for over a year and have had a couple of little quirks happen, but nothing detrimental. I love it still and certainly don't regret 'crossing over'. This morning however, my computer wasn't asleep and I couldn't even restart it! I felt sick. I have extended Apple Care, which is warranty for another two years, but still. It's not a good feeling. Primarily because I don't have an external hard drive. Because I'm not on a PC anymore, and problems are virtually nonexistent, I've been lax with backing up my photos and my music. They are of course my main concern. So I realized, I'd finally have to use my external hard drive research and go and buy one ASAP. Added to that I realized that my darling, owed me money, so I knew I could go and get something. After I did the groceries this morning, I saw dear Bunny and told him I was heading out to buy some external memory storage. I had looked into the Time Capsule, Apple's external hard drive and was amazed at its capabilities. Needless to say the price was a bit of a sticking point - nothing Apple makes is cheap. I went into Myer to talk to the staff there. I was very happy to see there is now a Mac guy working there, the equivalent to the US Apple Genius, but their title is nowhere near as pretentious here. The guy was very pro Time Capsule (of course). He was busy and then I went over to check out the other EHDs and the Apple guy came over and waxed lyrical about all the features of the Time Capsule. It's also a router, which means when I get a lap top, it can have wireless internet!!

I ordered the smaller one!

Time Capsule uses Time Machine to run it. It's an amazing program. The initial backup takes many hours, at least over night for the amount of data I have, several days if you have loads more than me. If you're interested, here's an overview of what it does.

I don't have it yet, because it was out of stock. I also ordered iLife 09 which looks fantastic. I love that suite of programs. iphoto is fantastic, and imovie is good fun too. I had actually read that imovie06 was a far better program, and I managed to still find it to download it for free. It has lots more features than imovie 08. I'm hoping that imovie 09 will be a big improvement. Judging by the previews and examples it should be. I also got a new wireless mouse today. There are lots of bad reviews about the Mac Mighty Mouse, but I love it. I love how it feels in my hand, and it works really well. It did take me a while to get used to, and, until I knew how to set it to have right click as well, I was rather lost. Now having one without a 'tail' is just fantastic. The lead was always annoying me.

Because I had time and I was on my own, I was able to 'play' with a Macbook too. I was very impressed with how well it worked. I found touch pad to be easy to use, and it was remarkably fast. I'm glad I am teaching my Digital Photography Class again because it means I can pay off these things - plus they are a tax deduction for me too. I won't be able to get one probably until the middle of the year, as I will have paid off my camera by then.

The young bloke who served me in Myer, (not the Apple guy) was telling me he had a PC laptop and when it 'died' he was going to go with a Mac. I asked him why? It's always good having an opinion of someone who actually works surrounded by these machines (PC and Mac). He said they are just superior. They work better, they last longer! Always nice to know that you make wise decisions, when someone reaffirms what you believe. Not that I need to justify my choice, but an unbiased opinion carries weight with me.

My girlfriends husband has a Mac, his is a few months older than mine. He just bought Time Capsule a few weeks ago, and it's already helped him out hugely. They have loads and loads of videos from their young children, stuff that's far too precious to lose. He is one of the few people I know who has a Mac. He works huge hours, and I don't see him often, so all his info is passed through his darling wife, who is not computer savvy at all, and it results in the funniest conversations. She's always telling me what he's done, but of course is stumped when I get all excited and start asking questions. Thankfully she is very patient with me, and always remembers to ask her husband, so she is a messenger of all our "MacSpeak". I respect his opinions, so base much about which product to get etc on his thoughts and purchases. I'm just glad he doesn't have an iphone lol......

I came home, had lunch, tidied up and then walked to Billy-Joe's school to pick him up. It was an hour round trip and in the heat of the day, no mean feat. Actually when I told DB that I'd walked, he asked how I got to the school in the first place........I said I walked. He was very impressed! I'm not sure how far away it is, but the hills are deadly. My hip fared okay, but got a bit clicky on one hill that just went on forever. It was really nice to spend the walk home talking to Billy-Joe. We clash so much sometimes, it's nice for us to have this one on one time. It's really precious actually, because we come together, not as equals, but as friends, that just want to hang out together. So it's nice for me too, not to always have the 'parent' hat on. I wanted to walk him home too, in case he ever has to walk himself. I'm still not 100% happy with letting him cross roads on his own, so I taught him the things to watch out for as there's one really busy road he would have to cross. The trip home was quite an eventful one actually. We were walking along the path and Billy-Joe jumps and yells 'Snake, snake'. I wasn't frightened, but couldn't see it in front of me. Billy-Joe continued to yell so I started to walk backwards, not realizing the snake had come out of the grass again and was behind me!! Then I saw it. This green tree snake, (the snake was smaller than this one, but it gives you an idea) but so agro, it wasn't funny. He had his skinny little head about 4 inches off the ground and he was not a happy boy. I just moved away......... Billy-Joe was petrified, and I wasn't too bad, probably not as bad as when I see a huge huntsman inside my house actually.

I cooked a delicous pizza last night. I'll have to update my recipe blog. Actually I've got a few recipes I need to write out. I've taken the photos, but doing the recipe is always of course more time consuming.

Scrapping tonight and my brother, wife and my nieces are coming tomorrow night for a BBQ, so a lovely weekend ahead.

I've exercised heaps this week and am starting to feel much better about my weight. Probably have only lost a little, but it feels good to do something positive, rather than just stressing about it.

Picasa

One of the things I missed when I 'crossed' over to my imac, is the use of Picasa. I don't use it much, but love the collages you can create - perfect for uploading lots of photos. I love these different collage effects. It's uploaded small, but if you click on it, it comes up really well in the larger size.

A new Week

One thing about a treated depression, is that it does improve when the slumps hit. I had a very quiet weekend, just enjoying being home and spending time with my family. It's always back to basics for me when I feel down. I started the week yesterday feeling refreshed and ready to take on life head on again. I have also exercised four days in a row, so I'm sure that helps with how I feel. I am going to continue at my current rate of jogging 4km in 30 minutes. I am working in a better zone and don't wish that I could finish before I've even begun lol......

Both Bunny and I are looking forward to our next holiday, which we'd decided wouldn't be at the same place as we've gone in previous years. We were able to rent a house a little north of here, for $180 less than we paid for our unit last year, and we have booked it for ten days. The house is larger than our own, and has a pool, which will be just awesome. We have found there are some nice restaurants in the town, and a supermarket, and the beach is only a couple of streets away, so we are very very happy. The kids have asked me questions about it every day - I have told them perhaps they need to forget about it as October is a long way away.....

Off to do some tidying.

Slumped

When I analyze how I'm feeling at the moment, I'm reminded what a complex creature I am. I've had a really good week. School started back, the kids are happy. The house is calm and happy, and I am very happy with that. So, then why do I feel like crap? Why do I feel like I'm filled with dread which hurts and drives me to tears. Why is it when all is going so well, I don't feel like I want to feel. I have everything I need and lots of what I want. I am loved, cherished, respected. I feel needed and appreciated - so what then? It's this frustration which only adds fuel to the fire. The fire being uncertainty, self doubt and a lethargic frame of mind.

I psycho analyze everything when I feel like this. I know that I have these patches, usually every couple of months, and they usually pass. I have to give myself permission to feel like crap and just take it easy - it does always pass. But this time it's happened not all that long after my post Christmas slump and I'm angry, peeved, upset and frustrated at myself. I tell myself to snap out of it, but it's not so simple - how I wish it were. So I analyze every aspect of my life - exercise. Okay that's been non existent for the last ten days, and it always goes first when my mood deflates. Actually, it only takes the slightest change in routine or mood and exercise goes out the window and that is not a good thing. So I went on the treadmill this morning. Instead of beating myself up that I can't run as fast as long as I want to I am concentrating on how far I've come and what I can indeed do. I can remember a couple of years ago, I'd jog for a minute, then worked up to five minutes and felt like I'd won an Olympic medal. Now I can jog 8km/h for half an hour, for 4km and I feel really good. I can breathe okay, and my heart rate stays at a good level. So why try and push beyond that and feel bad because I can't do it. I'd rather jog for 30 mins at a level I can sustain than jog faster and watch the timer go by ever so slowly, before I can slow down for a minute or so. So, in my bid to be kind to myself, I will jog at the slower pace. I hit burnout really quickly when I exercise, so I know I can sustain this rate, and I know that will encourage me to do it more often. I really should jog every single day of the week. Two to three times is not enough.

Okay so that's one aspect of my life that I can put back on track and the benefits are immediate.

The other area of my life, which I feel needs an improvement, is the state of my house. I can cope with the fact that my house is small, but the lack of storage is really getting to me. I hate to look into a room and have it look messy. I need to formulate a plan. I have a friend who will help me out there, plus I need money to be able to buy the things I need. Until I've been working again for a while, that's not a consideration. I'll get everything from Ikea - affordable and nice too. Okay, so I should let that go, because I can't do anything about that at the moment.......

My creative space (namely my left side of my brain) is a mess too. I just feel like I have really really lost my mojo. It's been on a gradual decline for several months now. I still scrap, but it's not coming easily to me. I look at pictures and don't even like what I look at - so I don't copy much, although I've never copied many layouts anyway, sometims it's a good place to start. In all honesty, if it weren't for my loyalty to Daisy's I could easily scrapbook on a computer. I have enough digital kits to keep me out of mischief and I could scrap away on a Fri night on a laptop, and still enjoy the company of the girls. But I won't do that ! Not only because of my attachment to the store and all it stands for, but because I do love the texture and feel of scrapbooking. I love playing with patterned papers. I love combining things that aren't meant to go together. That's my strength in the craft. I have no trouble at all picking papers and mixing things up a bit to create a different look. I also have a good eye for balance, and know when a layout doesn't work, and know how to fix it. I look at all my stuff and I'm so bored with some of the old stuff. My new things, like my stamps, I want to use more of, and quiet frankly I don't know where to go to next. Okay, so I've bought these gorgeous stamps - now what?? I don't buy much anymore. I am a frugal scrapper. I was buying too much, hoarding too much and I don't have the money or the inclination to have it all!! Which is a much better way to be, but seriously depeleted range of choice makes it harder to scrap. It's about the photos and the stories, both of which I can tell and do. I don't journal as much as I'd like either. I can do that best with the computer and it's not always practical to scrap with the computer at the store. I want to be sitting with my friends, not at the computer fiddling with fonts and text placement. This is another reason why digital srapbooking is a good thing to do - I can journal screeds, and it all fits!! I love the computer at home to update my blog, keep in touch on Facebook, and read my blogs and edit my photos, but I don't want to spend much extra time doing layouts.......so I don't tend to do many.

So, I don't know how to answer the scrapbooking/creative dilemma.

I have time on my hands at the moment, and I'm annoyed with myself for not using it wisely.

Dear Bunny came home from work today, and I was able to just have a hug and cry a little. He is always so good when I'm like this. No recriminations, no empty platitudes. Just love.

I can talk to my friends, when they're down. I've always got good advice. I can talk Sammy through his difficult times, and the little boy heeds my advice....

It's time to take my own advice - if I knew what it was.

Perhaps, now that I've talked to Bunny, 'it's' been acknowledged, I have written down my thoughts so they're no longer shoved into the recesses of my mind - now I can let it go.

Let it go. Rejoice in all that's good. Pray for contentment.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

Tami, children in Australia (states differ a little, this is how our state works), start school in Prep at the age of 6. They then attend primary school from year 1 to year 7. They are 12 or sometimes 13 when they finish. They attend High School from year 8 to year 12. By this time, they are 17. They can attend university from there, dependant on results of course and complete a degree, which can be anything from 3 years upwards. Most kids don't go to university, but many do. Kids wanting to do an apprenticeship, for example as an electrician, chef or plumber, can do school based training, not sure how this works exactly. But it means when they leave school to do their apprenticeship, they've already completed some of the requirements. Many uni graduates, are actually mature aged students, like myself who attended uni many years after their school is completed (and most often haven't attended to the end of year 12). It's very interesting how it's very different in each country. I was reading on a blog the other day about schooling in Germany and it's very very different to ours.... In Victoria, where I grew up, we would choose which type of secondary schooling we'd attend dependant upon our aspirations. You'd attend a High School if you wanted follow an academic path which would lead to university, or you'd attend a Technical School if you wanted to pursue a trade. Not sure if it's still like that now though.

My Week

The school year has begun again, it feels odd. I have actually been at a loss a few times this week, with the house so quiet. I am missing the kids - which is a lovely feeling. Normally school goes back, and I breathe a huge sigh of relief 'Thank God' school's back and my children are occupied. It's a sign of changing times which are changing for the better. Slowly but surely the stressful days of tiny children is behind me. I often think of those days and am so grateful that they are in the past. The kids are happy to be home, and are happy to be together. They are all of an age now, where they are old enough to play all things together. Mickey is no longer the baby that needs 'guarding' from the small Legos or removing from play, because he's too small. My three boys have forged a close bond and it's wonderful seeing them interact. They probably spend too much time on the computer and playstation, but I often listen to them. They discuss their games, their strategies and their gameplay. Mickey learns by watching the others and has an opinion on everything, which are often not welcome lol..... They are interacting and solving problems together and I love being the fly on the wall to overhear their dialogue.

The new school week has brought with it a lot of emotion and some special moments. I always stress over the first day of school. It's not easy taking a semi trailer load worth of books to school, and getting the kids set up in their rooms. This week was a sharp reminder of how far they have come. Both Sammy and Mickey went off confidently and without nerves or any stress. I left very quickly as I wanted to take Billy-Joe to his first day of high school - which though not far away, meant fighting through early morning traffic. I knew Sammy could ask for help from his aide, and I'd teed up a girlfriend to help Mickey out with his stuff. They were both fine and happy when I left. I couldn't help but think of the day that I took Billy-Joe to year 2, Mickey was in a pram, and Sammy had to hold my hand as he was still a toddler, and prone to running away. Billy-Joe's class was up three flight of stairs. I stood at the bottom, wondering how I was going to bring a pram with a baby, a toddler and a big bag of books up to his classroom. I'll never forget how I felt when the principal rushed past me saying he was too busy to help me!!! Somehow I carried baby, books, and dragged my toddler up those stairs and left the pram downstairs, and I was struggling not to cry out of stress, embarassment, and frustration. Added to the fact it's stinking hot and I was not a very happy girl that morning. I never did forgive that principal for doing that - I have had complete strangers help me, and yet he couldn't spare me a minute out of his schedule.

Anway, I digress, but this school morning started very pleasantly. I headed over to the High School and saw the new year 8 kids walking into the school. I asked Billy-Joe if he was sure that I wanted him to come with him, giving him an out. He said, 'no, no, I want you to come in please'. We walked in together and I was just brimming with pride. We saw Bunny on the way in and then headed up to where the year 8 cohort were waiting. I spoke to a teacher, the chaplain and had our photo taken. When I left I was given a big hug and a kiss with a heartfelt 'I love you'......... I walked away from 60 odd kids and my son, with my heart just soaring at this point. It's moments like that I wish I could bottle. I have the highest respect for my boy. He is so loving and doesn't worry about what anyone else thinks. I know these public shows of affection will stop one day - and that's okay. But I also know that this is very rare for a 12 year old boy. His softness and thoughtfulness is very very precious. Add that to his normal boy behaviour, such as rowdy play and loud behaviour, and he's a well balanced young boy.

Yesterday I picked him up from school to take him for an afternoon tea. The other two were at after school care and I know how much Billy-Joe values the one on one time with me. We had a nice afternoon, chatting about school and not being interrupted by anyone.

Last evening we talked about how important it was to keep the enthusiasm that he was feeling now, for the duration of his school years. Billy-Joe isn't gifted or anything , but is quite capable and doesn't find anything difficult, which does put in in the above average category I guess. He always works at a 'this is good enough' mode, so I'm trying to encourage him to get the point where he thinks it's good enough, and just pushing through beyond that. School is actually for learning, not just socializing lol.....At the moment he is keen with all the newness of High School and we both want it to continue for him.

Peter and I are so proud of the person that he is. He has wonderful manners, he's incredibly thoughtful, he's extremely protective of his younger brothers, he has a healthy respect for his elders, he is conscientous with his homework commitments, he has a great network of friends, he always wants to please us. I need to remember to read over this lol.......when he's stroppy because I've asked him to help, no, that's not fair, he often offers his help and is generally very keen to help. Sometimes the sour behaviour can overshadow his good deeds and that's wrong of me to focus on that I think. I am teaching myself to just walk away - not my problem if he's grumpy - it's his issue. It's a funny thing - love - that you can feel such intense love and pride one moment and then depths of frustration in the next.

Parenting - wouldn't change it for the world.

Laurent Caters

I went to bed on Wednesday night not feeling very well at all. By morning the nausea was so bad that I was as weak as a kitten. My plans for buying stuff for my table, went out the window. Dear Bunny took the kids to holiday care and I took myself to bed. I slept most of that day, and all that night. By Friday morning I felt a little shaky but better and then improved quickly during the day. Thank goodness, as my dinner was on Saturday night.

On Saturday I ended up still going shopping with my Mum to buy the place mats and table runner. I was really happy with what I got. I also got a few other things too, so it was a good shopping day and a nice time with my Mum. I got home and then made a quick to do list. Even though I wasn't cooking, I still wanted everything to be perfect. I was so excited about this evening and it turned out to be just perfect.

Laurent's cooking was just superb. I couldn't have asked for any better. The food was exquisite and the girls ate everything. This was the menu

COLD ITEMS
Brioche with smoked salmon
Brioche with brie
Cucumber basket with pesto chicken
Bruschetta with sun-dried tomato, pesto and feta cheese

HOT ITEMS
Quiche Lorraine


ENTREE
Baked ratatouille tart topped with parmesan

MAIN
Lamb rack with potato gratin and beans wrapped in bacon.

Served with bread rolls and butter (heart shaped rolls which he'd made)

DESSERT
Sponge cake with layers of custard and berries and meringue topping

To have with the coffee, he'd made biscuits and small puff pastry hearts with a sugar glaze.

Everything was home made. Nothing was pre bought. It was how I aspire to cook. everything made from scratch. Them lamb rack was delicious. The meat was medium rare, closer to rare but just delicious. The mushroom sauce was beautiful.

We all had a wonderful time. I felt very spoilt and very special to have my dearest friends around me. It was a great evening. Lisa had had a small mishap, well, rather her dh had the mishap in the car. As he was leaving Karen's house, he missed the driveway and landed in the ditch!! Poor Lisa was beside herself as you can imagine. She was mighty happy when she arrived to find the air was on and the wine was cold.

We were all good girls. Nobody drank too much, I thought maybe Lisa and I would get a little tipsy. I learnt a long time ago, though, that I only drink too much when it's totally unplanned. Thankfully it doesn't happen very often, I always have heaps of fun during it lol, but the next day isn't pretty. We spent Sunday celebrating Australia Day with my parents, so I'm really pleased I didn't drink too much.

I am very grateful to my lovely husband who made that evening possible. Saturday was a show of his love for me, a recognition of my love for my girlfriends as he sees it, and a wonderful way for me to thank them...... I wanted to make a speech, but I piked out. I can't even think about saying something like that and I begin to get choked up. I wrote to them instead - which isn't the same I know - but it doesn't mean I mean it any less.

Thank you girls for a fabulous night. Thank you Laurent for your culinary skills and for being great fun. Thank you Bunny for making it all possible.

The photos are all out of order, wish blogger would display them in the same order that they're upl

The kids came out to when Laurent presented the cake.

Laurent was very pleased with his cake and my reaction to it

Barbi

Entree

Suzy and I

Lisa and I

Barbi and I

Carrin and I

Karen and I

Laurent in my kitchen