Friday, January 30, 2009
The school year has begun again, it feels odd. I have actually been at a loss a few times this week, with the house so quiet. I am missing the kids - which is a lovely feeling. Normally school goes back, and I breathe a huge sigh of relief 'Thank God' school's back and my children are occupied. It's a sign of changing times which are changing for the better. Slowly but surely the stressful days of tiny children is behind me. I often think of those days and am so grateful that they are in the past. The kids are happy to be home, and are happy to be together. They are all of an age now, where they are old enough to play all things together. Mickey is no longer the baby that needs 'guarding' from the small Legos or removing from play, because he's too small. My three boys have forged a close bond and it's wonderful seeing them interact. They probably spend too much time on the computer and playstation, but I often listen to them. They discuss their games, their strategies and their gameplay. Mickey learns by watching the others and has an opinion on everything, which are often not welcome lol..... They are interacting and solving problems together and I love being the fly on the wall to overhear their dialogue.
The new school week has brought with it a lot of emotion and some special moments. I always stress over the first day of school. It's not easy taking a semi trailer load worth of books to school, and getting the kids set up in their rooms. This week was a sharp reminder of how far they have come. Both Sammy and Mickey went off confidently and without nerves or any stress. I left very quickly as I wanted to take Billy-Joe to his first day of high school - which though not far away, meant fighting through early morning traffic. I knew Sammy could ask for help from his aide, and I'd teed up a girlfriend to help Mickey out with his stuff. They were both fine and happy when I left. I couldn't help but think of the day that I took Billy-Joe to year 2, Mickey was in a pram, and Sammy had to hold my hand as he was still a toddler, and prone to running away. Billy-Joe's class was up three flight of stairs. I stood at the bottom, wondering how I was going to bring a pram with a baby, a toddler and a big bag of books up to his classroom. I'll never forget how I felt when the principal rushed past me saying he was too busy to help me!!! Somehow I carried baby, books, and dragged my toddler up those stairs and left the pram downstairs, and I was struggling not to cry out of stress, embarassment, and frustration. Added to the fact it's stinking hot and I was not a very happy girl that morning. I never did forgive that principal for doing that - I have had complete strangers help me, and yet he couldn't spare me a minute out of his schedule.
Anway, I digress, but this school morning started very pleasantly. I headed over to the High School and saw the new year 8 kids walking into the school. I asked Billy-Joe if he was sure that I wanted him to come with him, giving him an out. He said, 'no, no, I want you to come in please'. We walked in together and I was just brimming with pride. We saw Bunny on the way in and then headed up to where the year 8 cohort were waiting. I spoke to a teacher, the chaplain and had our photo taken. When I left I was given a big hug and a kiss with a heartfelt 'I love you'......... I walked away from 60 odd kids and my son, with my heart just soaring at this point. It's moments like that I wish I could bottle. I have the highest respect for my boy. He is so loving and doesn't worry about what anyone else thinks. I know these public shows of affection will stop one day - and that's okay. But I also know that this is very rare for a 12 year old boy. His softness and thoughtfulness is very very precious. Add that to his normal boy behaviour, such as rowdy play and loud behaviour, and he's a well balanced young boy.
Yesterday I picked him up from school to take him for an afternoon tea. The other two were at after school care and I know how much Billy-Joe values the one on one time with me. We had a nice afternoon, chatting about school and not being interrupted by anyone.
Last evening we talked about how important it was to keep the enthusiasm that he was feeling now, for the duration of his school years. Billy-Joe isn't gifted or anything , but is quite capable and doesn't find anything difficult, which does put in in the above average category I guess. He always works at a 'this is good enough' mode, so I'm trying to encourage him to get the point where he thinks it's good enough, and just pushing through beyond that. School is actually for learning, not just socializing lol.....At the moment he is keen with all the newness of High School and we both want it to continue for him.
Peter and I are so proud of the person that he is. He has wonderful manners, he's incredibly thoughtful, he's extremely protective of his younger brothers, he has a healthy respect for his elders, he is conscientous with his homework commitments, he has a great network of friends, he always wants to please us. I need to remember to read over this lol.......when he's stroppy because I've asked him to help, no, that's not fair, he often offers his help and is generally very keen to help. Sometimes the sour behaviour can overshadow his good deeds and that's wrong of me to focus on that I think. I am teaching myself to just walk away - not my problem if he's grumpy - it's his issue. It's a funny thing - love - that you can feel such intense love and pride one moment and then depths of frustration in the next.
Parenting - wouldn't change it for the world.
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