Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Normalcy Returns

I feel better today than I've felt for weeks. The fog has lifted! It was partly due to my ever present depression rearing it's ugly head, plus a head cold. I already felt dreadful before I actually got sick, so it was obviously building up a few days before hand. I remember craving for naps in the days leading up to the retreat - days before I was unwell. Wouldn't it be nice, if this is it now for 2009. No more bugs or viruses for me! I can hope and pray. I will just keep eating well and taking my vitamins and exercising and I know it all contributes. Who knows how sick one would get without those things.

I started the day with washing, as always, then continued with more washing after I'd taken the kids to school. I headed out to the treadmill, with my ipod and current audio book. (New Moon by Stephanie Meyer). I was stuffed at the 25 minute mark, so walked the last five minutes. It seems the week's break took its toll on me. Plus it's still incredibly humid, that doesn't help. The sweat just runs down my body and there's not a breath of air.

I had an opportunity to have coffee with one girlfriend, but I declined, as my morning was full and Barbi was coming for coffee. I finished my housework and then took Bunny to the car place to have his CD/Tuner I'd bought him for Christmas installed. I brought him back home so he could at least eat something, and then drove him back out an hour later. I also had to get fuel, hoping I wouldn't recognize anyone as I was a little scruffy and hot looking - not how I'd normally leave the house. I couldn't wait to hit the shower when I got home. Now it's lunch time and the morning is gone.

It's week 6 and I've only worked one day this term. I hope that means that everyone is just incredibly well, not that they don't want me anymore. It's weird to go this long without work. Yesterday, the worry got to me. DB told me to enjoy my time at home and not feel guilty. Make the most of it he said. As is normal when I get myself in a tizz about things, I forget to pray. I am always ready to pray for thanks, very rarely asking for anything. So yesterday, I sat myself down and prayed - just handed it over. God will take my worry from me. It's a good feeling. It doens't mean I feel any less concern about not having work, just makes the problem seem shared, and not so dire anymore. This has happened many times in the last three years, and the situation has always resolved itself. Working my kind of job, is beyond my control. I don't know when I will work. I don't know how often I'll work. I only know that when I do work, I get paid well. It's a big tradeoff, but one I was willing to buy into. It's just something that the control freak in me finds a little difficult to deal with sometimes. And God helps smooth those edges for me. I don't control everything. The school could have any number of reasons for not ringing me at this stage.
* no-one is ill
* if a contract teacher's contract wasn't renewed from last year, they would get called before me, especially if it's a teacher who has worked there in a permanent capacity.

Things will change, when teachers become ill, or the previous contract teachers find other contracts to fill. I know I have a niche. Patience!

Hump day again. Where does the week go?


t.t. millers said...

I'm glad you are doing better. I can certainly tell your humor is back in your blogging! Keep up the gym work outs. They always help fight the depression. Love ya Jenny!

Karen Barr said...

Glad you are on the mend. Do you prefer the audio-books or is it not the same as sitting down thumbing through the pages of a book.
Hang in there, the work will come.

Chris H said...

So pleased to hear you are feeling so much better!


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