Friday, August 06, 2010

Busy Days

It's a Sunday afternoon and I'm feeling rather flat. No reason, other than the fact I'm just weary and feeling like I have a little too much on my plate and I did to gather in some perspective. I'm happy, but just a little overwhelmed with all that needs doing and things.

I'm working hard, doing lots of things, and I've not had much downtime since October last year, am very much looking forward to the holidays. I'm happy, don't get me wrong, but feeling a bit blech!! I've not felt like that for a while and I don't like it. I'm having little leisure time, which is probably my own fault. I need to work out how to organize my time better. I'm not working outside the home as such, but I'm finding I'm busier than ever. Normal I guess with three kids, a house and a husband, but I don't like being flat out all the time. I'm coping okayish, but obviously not completely otherwise I wouldn't be feeling like I'm feeling.

My days fly by, the school hours are really so short and I don't stop from the moment I get up. My house isn't as clean as I'd like it, but I'm staying on top of the main things, like the washing, cooking, main cleaning and ironing. It's the extra touches that aren't getting done. I'm struggling with money, there's not enough and I know I have the power to change that by going back teaching. I don't miss anything, but I like knowing the money is coming in just in case. I need new clothes, and I've no money to spend on any.

My thoughts are all over the place, and it sounds more negative than what it is.......that's just a reflection of my thoughts. I know this is a sign that I need to put things into perspective, because it's when thoughts are flying around aimlessly in my head, that I lose the perspective, and perspective gives me peace.

Thoughts that are going around in circles causing negative vibes
* I'm enjoying the Copic class but am uncertain of the future of it, and whether I just want to get it off the ground, or be involved on a weekly basis. I'm concerned that designing cards will become onerous.
* Feeling guilty that I'm not teaching, because there are less $$$$ coming into the household.
* Feeling like even though I'm learning stuff, I still feel very much in the dark with my course and the website
* Time gets away on me
* Have no time or motivation to exercise
* The course is causing a heavier load
* I begin to feel pressured when I do stuff
* Feels like it's been ages since I've had a break
* I'm tired

Thoughts and feelings that are causing positive vibes
* I'm enjoying the learning and looking forward to the rest of the course
* There are possibilities with this learning, and it's exciting
* My goal to work from home, can continue with this learning and working for Barbi
* There are people who specialize in setting things up and then walking away from them. Not sure what they're called, but I've done that where setting up Daisy's is concerned, and now the Copic classes. I love being involved in the set up and then perhaps I'm not needed for the future, that can be viewed as a positive thing.
* I want to learn more, I'm not bored or lonely
* On the whole I feel better within myself
* My weight is good and stable, I've lost over 10kgs.

I'm such a dreadfully slack blogger. I wrote all the above the other day and haven't finished it nor uploaded it.

I'll have to gather my thoughts so this post will at least sound coherent.

I still don't know where I am with the Copic Classes. I will consider it though, and set something up so I have an out when and if I need one. Not ideal, but that way I'm not sabotaging myself before I've even attempted it.

My head has been thumping since Wednesday and I'm struggling with it today. I've spent most of the day in bed, with chores early on and a few jobs on the computer since I've been up. I'll be collecting the kids soon. I really want to go out, I may lie down again when I get home and see how I feel at 4pm.

I had my first computer lab component of my course last night. It was a little boring, but I did pick up a few pointers and am excited to fix things. I still have to write up my Copic B class for Tuesday and finish an image for it.

It's Peter's birthday tomorrow and I wanted to cook him a Duck dish, but because I live in the boonies, I couldn't get any!! Sometimes I still wish I lived in a city! I'll probably end up making something with a Beef Rib roast I think. I'm making an entree, a tart with feta and sundried tomatoes. I hope I feel okay tomorrow.





1 comment:

Alaine - Queen of Happy Endings said...

Hey Jenny, sending you big hugs!

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