Thursday, March 12, 2009

Warning: Whinge and complaining ahead

I understand if you don't want to read......whine alert.

I tell you, I would be a hypochondriacs dream. They wouldn't have to make up any health issues, because they are all real. And the health issues just keeps coming, one after the other.

I feel like I am always under a doctor for something, or at the physiotherapist's. Last year it was my hip, which is now under control. It's not gone, there are still things I can't do at all, but I don't live in constant pain with it anymore like I did. Mind you, it flared up earlier in the week, with a bursitis pain, which is horrid. I had just about finished on the treadmill, when I felt it 'go'. I hobbled around for the morning and then rang my physio and was relieved that I could get in on that same day. I was in more pain that afternoon, getting up from a sitting position was especially painful. I stayed away from the treadmill yesterday, and will again today, just to be on the safe side. I wanted to go and see about my shoulder again, because there's been no improvement. My back has always been an issue, and since surgery in 1990, it's been in varying degrees of pain. I had lots and lots of treatment early on after the surgery, and thankfully got rid of the pain I had suffered. Now I'm just very careful. Having a fragile lower back, and arthritis in my thoracic spine, gives me chronic upper back and neck pain. From time to time my shoulders play up and I usually need one or two treatments and I'm good to go again for a few months.

I've also had chronic achilles tendonitis for years now. I used to love step aerobics, now my calves and achilles can't do it anymore. About twenty minutes into the class they seize up so badly, I have to stop. I spent the hideous amount of money on orthotics, but that made no difference. I do notice a big difference in buying good track shoes though, a big difference actually, so I don't mind spending the money on good shoes. All my shoes are good shoes. I don't wear crappy, cheap shoes. I rarely wear thongs. I think back to just after Sammy was born, and he was in NICU and I was staying at Ronald McDonald House. Sadly, my most vivid memory of that time, was the amount of pain I was in with my achilles from walking several times a day to go and spend time with my baby!!!

I'm on anti inflammatories permanently. If I stop taking them, my achilles seize up so badly, every step hurts. The arthritis in my fingers hurts so badly, I have trouble holding my husband's hand. Funnily enough I can cope with that stuff. I've had it so long, that it's just a part of me. It's just something I need to manage, and for the most part my pain levels are tolerable.

So why is it then, just as my hip settles and my leg doesn't ache with every step, does my shoulder and arm have to give me trouble? Like a said, a hypochondriac would drool over my aches and issues lol......

I've had to stop my weights now, because my shoulder needs to heel. The thing is, I couldn't do them if I tried. Opening the car door is hard. I've changed my handbag back to my leather backpack, because I can't hold a handbag in my right hand, or on my right shoulder anymore - even when I make it lighter by taking out the extraneous stuff.

I know my troubles are really minimal in this world we live in, but they are my troubles, and make me feel like crap. I just want to go about my day without needing to be in pain, without calculating my every move. I'm just so glad that I'm no longer carrying a small child around.

Chronic pain, with interspersed episodes of acute pain seems to be a way of life for me. I hate it and wish I was the person in my body that I'm in my mind!

Another whinge
~ I broke my tooth at the start of the week. Thank goodness I got it fixed quickly, but not after the dentist had earned himself a tidy $280 for the job!!!!! Thank God I have dental cover, so I only had to pay $160!!


Chris H said...

No matter how 'small' or 'trivial' our aches and pains may seem to others .. they are real and cause us pain... so don't go thinking they don't count, cos they do! I am sorry you have so much pain at the moment.... and ouch about the tooth!

t.t. millers said...

Jenny, I am a fellow whiner! I feel you pain babe! Heel up and feel better!! I'll be thinking of you! xoxo

Teddyree said...

Oh Jenny, I'm feeling for you. I know it sounds like we should be guest commentators on the Hypochondriac Gazette or be members of Whiner's Anonymous but it really isn't much fun to constantly be in pain or feel blah! The fact that you recognise in the scheme of things your troubles are minor in comparison to others does not lessen the effect that feeling this way has on your everyday life xx


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