Friday, November 10, 2006


Mothering, the most rewarding, and most wonderful thing I have ever been privileged to do......however it's the hardest and the most frustrating. I have been trying very hard, with the help of alot of prayer and contemplation, to try another tack with my parenting style. Unfortunately I raise my voice too much........and I hate it. I hate the sound of my own voice, I hate the anger that wells up inside of me. That's no good for the kids and no good for me either. I feel ashamed afterwards, and often apologize to the kids if I have really gone ballistic. So, all this week, I have tried really hard, not to raise my voice at all. It's amazing how well it has worked. I don't feel sick in the stomach, and the kids are responding better than when I yell at them. I don't want my kids to think I hate them, or disrespect them, nothing could be further from the truth, but sometimes these little people are easy targets and it's too easy to fall into that trap of frustration...........and anger. Motherhood is such a blessing, and it's something I never take for granted. Nor, for one moment do I consider that I am the best mother in the world. I am trying every single day to be the best person I can possibly be. I am aware of my shortcomings, and I am trying to make myself someone my family (and God) would be proud of. I had to write that down, I had to write down the freedom and happiness I am feeling with this new direction my parenting technique is taking. Prayers are definitely answered, and my prayers asking for guidance and strength have been answered loud and clear. I feel much stronger, and calmer for this change.

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