Toowoomba

We went to Toowoomba last weekend, must update with photos soon......

I first met Dimity in Springbrook late in 1994. If memory serves me correctly, we met at the local swimming pool, one of my many forays into fitness.  It ended up we would meet in the swimming pool, during one of my many forays into fitness.  I can still remember my shock, when we met up again a few days later, at an arranged time, and I was shocked to see her in her school uniform  Dim, was barely 16 and in her second last year of school.  We became fast friends. A closer friend I hadn't had since I'd left school. We did everything together - we partied hard and shopped even harder. Her family welcomed me with open arms, they are all awesome. I spent many hours at her house, either just hanging out or accepting a much appreciated invitation to dinner, especially in those early months when I was in Springbrook on my own.  We became so close, I couldn't ever imagine life without her. Alas, like all good things, I ended up leaving Springbrook. I needed to go home and be with my family while I was awaiting the birth of my first child. And Dim needed to go out into the big wide world and find her own feet.  In the last 12 years, our contact has been spasmodic - due to our busy lives, but we have always re-connected and are both happy that the bond is still very strong, even though we can't spend that much time together. Dim is Billy-Joe's Godmother - that's how much I think of her.  

Last weekend, Dim turned 30!!  We spent the weekend with her and her husband, who is just gorgeous in body and spirit and their three gorgeous girls.  Can you believe it, I had three boys and Dim had three little girls.  I loved her home. It's an old Queenslander and she has it beautifully decorated inside, with all her country bits and pieces.  She is happier than I have ever seen her, and I was glad to spend some time with her, I just wish we lived closer to one another.  

My kids were perfectly behaved - we didn't even know there were six kids in the house. On the Saturday night we had her party, which was held in a pub nearby. She had the tables decorated, pink and green balloons everywhere, and the kids were fed and entertained for a while seperate from the adults. Billy-Joe and I had an absolute ball, boogying the night away. Peter even danced with me a few times, but Billy-Joe stayed with me nearly the whole time.  The band was great, you know one of those bands that plays every song that you know!  Sammy was a little out of sorts, so at one stage I spent it with him on my lap and then later Peter would take him out for a walk and then sat at the table with him. We got home around midnight, so it wasn't a really late night. My hips were killing me due to all the dancing, but it was worth it and I didn't feel any worse for wear in the morning.

Mickey fell in love over the weekend. Dim's daughter Kodie took such a shine to Mickey and they were as thick as thieves the entire weekend. It was just gorgeous.  On Monday he told me he missed her and was looking forward to seeing her again soon.  Dim had the girls write a letter, so it's here sitting on the bench in a large pink envelope. Mickey will be beside himself when he knows Kodie has written.

This is my favourite photo from the weekend.

Relieved

I have spent a gazillion of hours in front of the computer in the last two weeks, but haven't had time to blog!!  My photography class is coming up this weekend, and I was working hard to get that finished. I made a powerpoint presentation (something I've never done before) because Barbi has  a huge flat screen TV hooked up on the wall and connected to the computer, so I've got a way of projecting it - plus I find it would help me stay on track, plus the fact they look professional.  I have also notes to give the attendees. I toned down on the technical stuff from when I taught this course last. Most people aren't interested in that - and that's okay - so it's no point putting in stuff that no-one cares to read.  I find it adds to the understanding of things, and I don't know anywhere near all there is,but I can take comfort in the fact that I know more than the lady who has only barely taken her camera out of the box!! 

I had my second MRI today. I wasn't stressing about it, but was not looking forward to it, and was lamenting at what a waste of a day it would be. I wasn't looking forward to having a needle in me four times before it was the right spot and having a dead leg right down to my knees! I wasn't looking forward to the tunnel of gloom as I lay there with the most dreadful cacophony of noise I've ever heard, plus have my arms fall asleep because my elbows aren't comfortable and I am not game enough to move a muscle.  So this morning I got up, all psyched up and prepared for what lay ahead. I was lucky that darling dh was going to drive me again, so no worries there. I had to prepare my body too. The pubic jungle was scary and I couldn't have the doctor thinking he was injecting a woolly mammoth!!  So prepared emotionally and physically I headed off with book in hand.  It was so much better today. The doctor got the anaesethic in first go, instead of fourth go - so no dead leg.  Just hours of being pain free!!  The MRI was much quicker than last time, and the music was so loud this time, that the noise wasn't as sanity breaking as the last time. I was also told that I could move when there was no noise, so every now and again I had about 6 seconds where I could move my fingers!  Then I headed out to the motel and Lisa and I had a coffee and lunch at the coffee shop - a very nice ending to a not so stressful procedure. My darling picked me up and in his usual easy going self, was happy I'd met up with Lis and that the procedure was not so bad after all. 

Peter had done some work for a woman who had a gym which she wanted to sell. Peter said she was a big girl and this stuff had never been used. He went and picked up the weights thing, and there was a brand new treadmill as well. So for $400 we have a gym downstairs now. We are rapt. Walking and jogging on a treadmill is so much easier than the road. No hills - much better for my hips.  So what a bonus. The only downside is that it's not in a closed in area, so it gets dusty. We have covered it with a sheet and there's a mat we wipe our shoes on before we hop on. It's not going to be any time soon that downstairs is going to be closed in, so we are going to have to be really careful with the equipment.

My tax cheque came a couple of weeks ago. Thank God, it was a good return, because I was able to get some of my debts out of the way. My imac is paid out - 12 months before the interest free period finishes, but I was paying a fair bit each month, and over the months where I wasn't working, it became a bit difficult. I also paid out both of my credit cards.  Zero balance, nada, nichts, finished!!  I haven't had them at zero for about two years, so that's a huge relief.  I am not going to let it get so high this financial year. I have saved some money and put it away to help me out over the Christmas break, so I won't need to resort to the fantastic plastic.  Now I'm only paying my car off, but that's okay, it's manageable and I am much better off each fortnight now, which is awesome.  Our TV is on its way out, has been for about a year and a half, it was all pink and green around the edges, and it must have heard us talking about getting rid of it one day lol......suddenly the discolouration is gone.  But when you turn it on now, the picture isn't real clear and it has a high pitched sound to it.  A new TV is around $1500 and neither of us want to spend that just now. Once the cars are out of the way, then we can get it - or if we get another good tax return next year, which I probably will.  The new TVs have the most awesome pictures on them. They almost look 3D.  

I bought a new heater on Monday. Our little fan heater died last week, whilst we are in the midst of a cold snap.  I bought an oil heater with a fan. It's great - has kept the living area very cosy these past few days. While I was there, I had a look at TVs too, so that I know what are up for. We will get an LCD one, who knows they will probably go down in price anyway. We need a new cabinet too, to put the TV on, as our current one has a 'hole' for the TV and it won't fit a nice widescreen TV in it. Oh it's nice to dream and drool, and it's free too.......

Dinnertime now, so must go and get organized......

Out of the words of Sammy

“Mum, do you know any ‘mythocological’ creatures?”
“Mmmm, not off the top of my head”
“Did you do history at university?”

Me, I was pretty chuffed he remembered I went to uni.

“I did do history, but I did stuff about cavemen?”
“You should go to uni and you can study history”
“I am going to be an archaeologist when I grow up, and if I don’t find any crystals or anything, I am going to be a farmer on the NIle”.

‘Mummy will miss you, but that sounds like a good plan.“

New Lunchboxes

I am still at the Special School. They have offered me another contract and I now have work for another week, which is fantastic.  It takes that stress out of my mornings, and I will just have to manage my time even better as far as house stuff goes.  So far so good. 

Working close to home is a bonus which I am really appreciative of.

 I see many sights and sounds at my job which are poignant and heart rending.  And so far the most poignant, the most thought provoking have been the new lunch boxes.  

Every morning the kids who are able, put their lunch boxes into the fridge. The ones who aren't able, are looked after by teachers and their assistants.  We feed and assist in feeding these kids, especially the younger students.  I was struck by the newness and pristine state of the kids lunch boxes and cooler bags.  To myself, I admired them at how nice they looked and then it hit me like a thunderbolt. I can't begin to explain how I felt.

At home I have Tupperware lunch boxes, put onto the sink for me to nightly wash and get organized for the next day. They are scuffed. scratched. cracked (Mickey's)  and have bits bitten off them (Sammy's). Billy-Joe has had his lunch box since day care, and is travelling well,but has that worn look about it. I have had name tags peeled off, the lunch box scraped along the ground. stood on, thrown at someone, and generally mistreated. They have been lost and found again, they have had twigs put in them and dirt. They come home with remnants of lunch, banana peels and apple cores and other unknown slush. The dirt has stuck to the food remnants. And I have roused at the kids at the state of their lunch boxes.   

The lunch box is cracked because they could step onto it.

The lunch box is scuffed, because they have been able to scrape it along the ground.

The lunch box is dirty, because they have been able to eat their food unsupervised in the playground and have been able to explore and add twigs and dirt to it.

The name tags are faded or half off, because they have the fine motor skills to peel them off.

The corner of the lid is bitten off because they can navigate something to their mouths with deliberation and intent.

The lunch box has been lost because they have eaten their lunch and been able to get up to go and play.

I won't ever look at these worn lunch boxes the same way again. 

I don't want new looking lunch boxes.

Update

It's Saturday afternoon, and I am taking some time out after a very busy day.  It's Billy-Joe's birthday tomorrow so I have been preparing some food for the bbq. Oma and Opa will come, and Nanny and Darby too.  We have a friend of Billy-Joe's staying over for the weekend, so Billy-Joe is pretty happy about that.  

I have made him a Malteser cake.  Well I think 'cake' is a very loose term. It has no flour in it and isn't even baked.  It's got chocolate, golden syrup, crushed biscuits, butter and maltesers in it. All boiled up and set in the fridge, should be delicious and served with a chocolate ganache mmmmmmm.  I have also made a Caponata, with eggplant, capsicum, tomatoes, celery, garlic, onion, pine nuts, olives and a sweet red wine vinegar sauce. Tastes divine. I have also marinaded the chicken in a paste made up of curry powder, chillies, coriander root, garlic, sugar and oil. Tomorrow I will make a sauce to go with the chicken. Hopefully I will get some pictures and have a chance to upload the recipes. I have been slack with uploading recipes of late. I generally take photos, but never post them which is  a shame, as I forget all the yummy things I make.  Mum is marinading some pork ribs, one of my favourite things, and is making her coleslaw which is a solid family favourite.  We plan on talking lots, drinking wine, laughing and generally enjoying each others' company.  

Billy-Joe is getting an ipod shuffle and a playstation Pirates of the Caribbean game from us. I am sure he will be a very happy boy.  

I have also made Billy-Joe's card. He is right into the Sims at the moment, hence the little icon on it. No doubt I am infringing copyright somewhere along the line!! He just loves images of all his favourite things, so I know he will appreciate it.

Work this week was great, but very challenging and provocative as well.  Tuesday and Wednesday were good days, pretty cruisy, I must be getting used to working with kids I don't know well, and working in settings I don't know well. I had to cook with a group on Wednesday and just made stuff up (thank goodness I'm good at that). The muffins weren't that great, in my opinion, but they sold like hot cakes, especially as we sold soup with them and the weather was pretty revolting.  Thursdays group was damn hard work.  I had three kids and there were three of us, myself and two aides, thankfully one was a male.  One girl was completely non verbal and was basically locked into her chair, or in a play room. She just wonders otherwise and sits in front of the window, always looking for a way out. Another boy was basically non verbal, very autistic with ADD as well.  Actually I would add ADHD to that diagnosis too.  He too was always looking for an escape.  Moving him and the girl to another room, was diabolical. They would both drop to the ground or try and run away. Both things nearly pull your arms out of your shoulders. It was teeming with rain, so running after them through puddles wasn't fun.  Duty was spent inside, blocking exits, being pushed, shoved, pulled and generally harassed. It's an interesting thing standing there with your hand on a child's chest with your other hand up in a stop sign, all the while not giving them eye contact, because the whole thing is after all just a game to them - and I refuse to enter into that kind of repartee with the child.  This child also has a collection of about hundred cds which he wears on a string around his neck. This is his security blanket, but in my view creates more problems than it solves. They use it as a way of coaxing him to do things, but it didn't work.  I took them off him toward the end of the day, and he actually forgot about them for the afternoon. Moving him from one room to another, was impossible. We had to drag him, feet first, along the ground. Thankfully he had on two jumpers and the floor was slippery, so no injury to anyone ( or we naturally wouldn't have done it). Time out works - but needed constant attention as he could climb over the locked safety gate!  Another boy has mild CP with intellectual impairment and no verbal skills. His signing was limited to the most basic of commands.  He basically transitioned well, but was non compliant in the room. He became difficult when things didn't go his own way. We cooked (I use that term loosely too).  We made bacon and egg muffin burgers.  He cut the bacon (ate more than he cut) cut the muffins in half, (again ate them) and grated the cheese. I let him stir the bacon, even though it didn't need stirring but participation is crucial.  I then sat him down to butter the muffins as I wasn't letting him near the eggs. He became cranky when things weren't moving quickly enough for him. He got up from his chair, slammed it backwards with his full weight and I was in the way, and wedged up against the bench with him leaning on my bad leg and hip. Oy! I saw stars!! I burst into tears and they quickly pulled him off me, and I took some deep breathes and recovered fairly quickly. Thankfully my leg didn't end up hurting anymore than it already did, and the initial pain subsided very quickly. The burgers were a hit, all three kids hooked in.  

The afternoon was a little quieter, after I cleaned pee up off the floor, chair and footrest. One child (ADHD) was drawing on the white board with crayon, while we weren't looking. We left him go, he was quiet for ages after that.  Apart from reading two stories in the morning, which two of the kids listened too, and making the muffins, there were no other valuable learning situations.  It was basic crises and damage control all day - ensuring the kids are kept safe at all times.  I earned my money that day. The aides are worth their weight in gold, and definitely don't get paid enough.

I have two days booked for next week, which are supply days, so pay will be as if I work a whole week, so I am pleased about that.  Rock on pay day! It's been a month and things are not good. I hate not having money in my account.  

Stuff

Started the work week off well. I had a good day today, teaching wise - mind you I use that term loosely, because after all the toileting, feeding, changing nappies, there's not much time at all left for teaching. Two of my four kids were tube fed, and one needed hand over hand assistance. I had one kid who could do for himself.  I first met this child two years ago and was happy to see how much he had progressed.  

On another note, my leg is giving me grief. I am taking panadol four hourly and that just gets me through the day. The only reason I am on the 'puter now, and not doing chores, is that my leg has simply had enough for today. It aches continuously. The outside of the top of my thigh feels so badly bruised, it hurts to touch on the outside, but the bruise feels like it goes to the bone.  It's definitely not getting any better, and in the last couple of days has gotten worse.  I have a specialist appointment on Friday - not that I am holding my breathe for any answers.  

Kids had their athletics carnival today and did really well. (As long as I discount the fact that Sammy lost his hat - the second one in three weeks - and this is after a long lecture this morning, about where the hat MUST go when it's not on his head!!).  Mickey came first, Sammy came second and Billy-Joe got a third and a fourth....  They had a great day - they obviously don't get their athletic prowess from their mother!!

Curried lamb with pumpkin and spinach for dinner tonight, should be yummy.  

Too Cool

I saw these on someone's car the other night and thought they were so cool. Today we took the kids to McDonalds for lunch, and we went to Bunnings to check out some things that we need to fix up our extremely tired and dilapidated bathroom.  Then we went to Mooloolabah to look for these cute stickers.

The bathroom tiles are currently falling off, and are revolting.  The shower is revolting because it's leaking and I can't keep the mould out from between the tiles (because it's leaking) and the water actually drips onto the bed downstairs.  I don't want tiles in the shower, so we are buying a laminate panel for the shower, no grooves, easy peasy to clean!!  We are going with plain white tiles (20x20) with a decorative tile intermingled. It's a 20x5cm tile and we will place it vertically. The colours in the feature tile, are grey, black, silver and blue.  I am not that fussed with all the trendy colours of brown everywhere. It does look nice but it reminds me of the seventies too much and I keep thinking that burnt orange and lime green will emerge next!!  Mind you I do like those colours ssssshhhh, we won't tell anyone.  I wanted the bathroom fresh, with a bit of colour. I haven't decided on the wall colour yet, either a white, or maybe a really really pale bluish/grey - I will keep looking. We also priced a small light, which is an exhaust fan and heater too.  I always wanted one of those, but now they come in  smaller size, it's perfect for our tiny tiny bathroom.  It will look wonderful when it's all done.  I will look forward to more photos and a bathroom I can be proud of, and one that I know will always look clean.  

Another good day

Another good day today. This job is a bit like a lucky dip, I don't know what the day is going to hold.  

I stayed up latish last night, got to watch the Prison Break episodes.....oh that Wentworth Miller is just divine.  Smart, quiet, intelligent, caring, brilliant, and just yummo to look at!  (big sigh)  So I stayed up when I should have gone to bed, although I felt quite good last night even though my day was huge.

I dropped the kids off and drove Sheila into town and arrived at school at around 8.10am. I spoke to the classroom teacher, and was pleasantly surprised that it was an academically based classroom. No wheelchairs, and no nappies!  The class was smallish, six kids, with one who is severely autistic - he basically needed one on one all day long. The kids were just delightful.  I had a ball with them. In many ways these kids are easier than mainstream kids.  Its more intense, and you have to be even more watchful as their safety is a huge issue, but you don't raise your voice like you do when you have 25 (or 40) in a class.  I left the autistic child with the aide for most of the day as she knows him really well, and I can't walk in there all guns blazing so to speak.  In the afternoon though I sat with him, I spoke to him, got him to use his words when he wanted me to do something for him.  He would cut out small squares of paper, colour them in yellow and then write a word on them. By the end of the day he was getting weary, as he asked me to colour them in for him. He would write a word, and then invariably sing a portion of a song. He kept singing the same lyrics all day long, and finally I realized what he was singing.  It was 'Islands in the stream'. He sang the lyrics, and I continued the singing, and the look he gave me was just priceless. I got goosebumps. At that precise moment, for that one split second, I actually penetrated his solitary mind. It was an incredible feeling.  He just looked at me, and then continued to sing with me. I had connected with him - fleetingly, but in a way he could obviously comprehend.  My aide saw this happen and she said that was amazing because she said when she sings he hates it.  I said to her, I was stunned, because when I used to sing to my eldest when he was a baby, he used to scream!!  Never under estimate the power of music.

After school, I went and did the groceries, took them home and unpacked them, put a load in the dryer, made the lunches for tomorrow, and then took the kids to training.  I got home and had a shower, started preparing the kids' dinners and then sat down with a glass of wine. I have now organized our own dinner and the kids are fed and have had dessert and are sitting quietly and enjoying a movie. The machine is on again, with another load of mud sodden clothes from football training.

I wonder what tomorrow holds.

My days are far from boring

I know I am capable and organized (most of the time) and all that, but it's interesting to reflect on a day where I have been seriously challenged.  

Two days running, I have been placed with the older kids. Today I arrive, to find out that we are an aide down, and actually two down on what we had yesterday.  I had my day already planned out for me, but it was becoming increasingly obvious, that the challenge of 'just cook some muffins' was going to prove quite difficult.  I had eight kids, one down syndrome, two non verbal but basically able, one with the intellect of a 4 year old, one who has violent outbursts (she was the one who hit me last term) one boy who spoke and was well behaved, another girl who was well behaved and verbal and able..........   At this point trying to keep them all around the table was  challenge, but we had sung some songs and read a story and it didn't look like I had any aides coming any time soon.  So I took them into the kitchen, only to have two aides arrive and basically take over!!  Half an hour later they left me to feed some of the other students, and left me with muffins cooking, and more to cook, children I had to supervise and keep muffins up to them as they walked around the school selling them - I even had other teachers ringing me asking where the muffins were!!!!! Meanwhile another kid had arrived, who was really hard work. He kept touching the other kids and destroying everything that he came into contact with!!  And I was alone!  

I kept patient, I kept strong, I kept going and managed to cope with the day. I did ask for help at one stage, as it was obvious that 9 to 1 was not going to work.  I had another teacher come in and help me. It was great because he was physically strong enough to hold one of the boys. We took them to the gym and it took two of us to keep him on the treadmill, we had him nailed to the handle bars while he was trying to stop it. He enjoyed it, but wants to create havoc more!  We had to lock ourselves in, to keep kids from going out - well that one in particular. We couldn't keep him on that treadmill for ever. He got a great workout and so did the others, it was good fun teaching them shoulder presses and putting them on the rowing machines..... My aides spent most of the day in the toilet - no wonder I had to cope on my own. Toileting is quite labour intensive when you are dealing with wheelchair bound kids - and apparently one of the hoists was out of action.

The afternoon I assisted the other teacher and that was pretty cruisy!  I wasn't on my own - and the difficult kids were in another room.....

I am sitting quietly and enjoying a glass of expensive semillion.  MMMmmmmm, I think I deserved it. 

Had a great day - wonder what tomorrow has in store for me!

My little cherubs - NOT today.

It's the last day of the school holidays for us. The rushing, chaos, and stress levels start to rise again in earnest early tomorrow morning. It's been a great fortnight - very relaxing and I am ready to face the term head on.  Luckily for me I have worked teed up for the rest of this week, and hopefully next week too - so that's awesome news.  It's close to home, so that's even better. The pay won't be huge, but I am not in a position to knock back a short contract, and I don't mind the short ones where the light at the end of the tunnel shines rather brightly.

My three sons, are currently sitting on the lounge - no TV, no computer, no playstation, no gameboy!!!  The lady from two doors down came to the front door and let me have it. She just yelled at me about my kids!!  Apparently my cherubs have been up to their old tricks of putting sticks in her letterbox and calling out to her. This lady was not happy and neither was I. So the kids had to apologize to her, and were incredibly ashamed when they came inside. That mood will no doubt continue as they get used to having all their play things taken off them!!  It really annoys me that they have been so stupid.  I know kids are kids, but they are generally kind hearted but something about this lady has made them annoy her. She is a grumpy lady, (so would I be if my kids were harassing me like that!!) and I think they felt like they could annoy her..........  I think they have learnt their lesson. They know that kind of behaviour is just not acceptable, no matter how grumpy or mean they deem the recipient to be.  Ah parenthood, the joys.  Wait until Dear Bunny finds out, he is not going to be impressed.  Ah well, hopefully they will have learnt their lesson this time.  No more sticks in the letterbox, no more throwing stones, no more running down near her yard...... no more being painful! Will post again when I have more time DB has arrived home for dinner.

More Photo play

I read on Jessica Spragues Photoshop Friday about a great way to brighten up photos. I already use one similar to this, but I like this effect even more.

Before, the photo is a little under exposed, so I adjusted the levels before I applied Jessica's method.


Love this , turns a good photo into a great photo. You can find her method here.

Some layouts

I have been playing around, getting to know Photoshop Elements 6 better and am learning heaps. I am doing these photos as layouts in lieu of paper scrapbooking to save time and money. I wanted these photos scrapbooked but never seem to get around to doing the real stuff.

Because I am not going to upload these to any formal galleries, I didn't keep a notation of all the supplies I used. Living Kitchen Dreams is my blog which I kept doing the renovation time. I used elements from Jessica Sprague's 'Echoes of Asia', I've used elements from www. designerdigitals.com . The overlay on the last photo I made myself but the shape was inspired to Ali Edwards' overlays which are on her blog and are available through DD.

I was going to have this printed by shutterfly into a photo book, but I am not going to have 20 pages which I need for that. I have to decide how I am going to present the photos. I am not good at doing mini albums, so will seek advice from my friend who are good at making projects. I am just having an absolute ball doing this. I am so glad I took the 'Shoebox' class through Jessica Sprague's Website.

Using the class, I am able to go through my elements and they are easy to find.

Just Playing

Just playing around in Photoshop Elements. Date stamp is from Kate Pertiet at Designer Digitals, and journaling photo overlay is made by Ali Edwards and is also for sale at Designer Digitals.

Nature

Apart from sharpening, this is untouched by Photoshop Elements. The shot was taken from my kitchen window, handheld, no flash - right before sunset. The colours were breathtaking.

If I could bottle time

It’s days like today, that make me wish I could bottle time. I would bottle today and take it out when the children are not doing what they are supposed to, when they are fighting every second of the day, or when I am running around like a headless chook, or when I am feeling overwhelmed with the sheer volume of what I need to do. I need to bottle days like today, so I can take little sips to remind me of all that I have which no matter how mundane, is a wonderful life. If I could bottle today, I could sip and savour the moments I have spent with my children which are full of fun, love and laughter. I could relish in the moments where we just sit and play together and just enjoy the sheer joy of being together.

The day didn’t start off on the right foot, the kids had been great, I snoozed in until nearly 9am, and they were on the playstation. I had a shower, and they started to fight. I cooked them pancakes for breakfast, and Sammy and Mickey fronted up to the breakfast bar, with a sour disposition as they’d argued about something. After telling them that they were ‘ungrateful sods’ they sparked up a bit and enjoyed lots of pancakes. Mickey ate ten of them...... I did the ironing and set Billy-Joe a task of reading the ‘destructions’ for ‘Cluedo’. When I’d finished I sat down and read them too, and decided against trying to teach the little ones how to play. Instead we played a long session of ‘Game of Life’. Sammy didn’t want to play, but I made him, and he thoroughly enjoyed himself - as did we all.

Then the kid sat down and watched ‘Hoodwinked’ while they ate their lunch and I pottered around on the ‘net. I made a yummy pumpkin soup and let it simmer on the stovetop until dinner time. I also finished the third page of my Reno book which I am going to have made from Shutterfly - only 17 pages to go lol.......

My favourite show, ‘Prison Break’ starts tomorrow so I think I will stay up late and watch some old eps I have on DVD.

The weather is still forecast to be wet for tomorrow so we will head out and get some more movies and renew the PS game.

Love this photo

Baby of mine

Michael Luke
Mickey
Mickey Mouse
Mim
Bream
Mim the Bream
Brimula X the Oil that Protects

Baby of Mine.

Happy Birthday Sweet Little Man - you light up my every single day. Every day you grow up just a little more, your independence becomes stronger, you become a little smarter, a little kinder, and a little sweeter - it gives me wonderful furtive glimpses of the man that you will become.

Happy Birthday Sweetheart.

Smile

Things that made me smile today
*Lady Grey Tea
*Kids playing together without bickering
*Smelling Chocolate cake baking in the oven
* Sleeping in
* Another part of the house with new paint on it
* Spontaneous hugs and kisses.

Too long between photos

For all the time I have been playing with organization and things, I haven't done much editing.

Some favourites of mine from our picnic on Tuesday.

Sammy loves to cook the bbq, and really drives Opa insane.....cool photo though - shows both their emotions perfectly.

He loves animals - it brings a peace within him which is quite precious to behold.

School holiday bliss

The first week of the school holidays is well and truly nearly finished. I wish the holidays wouldn’t go by so quickly. In some ways I have less time to myself, because there are others to look after during the day, but I do prefer the easiness of the days. I love the fact I don’t have one eye on the clock all day - meeting appointments, school commitments, work commitments, and picking up the kidlets. It’s 2.30pm now, and normally I would be heading out the door picking up my kids - and the afternoon and evening stretches ahead of me as a busy and demanding time frame.

This week has been great fun. The weather has been perfect. The days are around 25˚ and the nights are cool, perfect for snuggling, but not freezing cold like they had been for a week or two. On Tuesday we went to Wappa Dam for a picnic. The kids were so excited to spend some time with Oma and Opa and their Aunty Ricky and Aunty Denise, and the girls. Julia had to work, so couldn’t join us, but Kiana was there, playing footy with the boys which was great. I had my chair out on the sun,and just enjoyed the soothing feeling of it on my skin. One of the downsides (mmm, there aren’t that many!!) of living in the subtropics is that I don’t get to actually enjoy the sun much, but during he winter days, it’s just lovely sitting in it and enjoying the warmth on my skin, without being cooked to a crackle. I had to leave the picnic area early to meet a physio appointment for a very sore neck and shoulders. The million dollar latex pillow I bought several months ago wasn’t doing me any favours, and it wasn’t until I made a concerted effort to sleep on my other side, that it confirmed my suspicions. I paid $100 for it and was reluctant to give it up. I feel much better now, even last night it was starting to feel better. Two nights of not sleeping on the culprit has helped too. I have given Peter the good pillow - hopefully he will be comfortable.

I had a bone scan done last Friday, and Osteitis Pubis is no longer in contention for my diagnosis!! So, I am none the wiser. Another half day of injection, stuffing around, and laying still on a table, and I still don’t know what’s wrong. I won’t think about it for a few days - maybe it will go away lol....... I wish!!!

Peter has been painting the house all week, and it’s starting to look lovely. I am so glad I am not paying him by the hour, as he isn’t terribly fast, but he does a great job, considering he’s not a painter by trade. The house looks fresh, clean and bigger. His ‘to do’ list, which I jokingly tell him is written on a toilet roll, isn’t getting any shorter - well, maybe just a little!!

My darling husband took me out for lunch today. We wanted to go to the Orient Express, a really nice Chinese/Thai restaurant in Palmwoods, but just our luck and it wasn’t open for lunch!! Only on the Sunshine Coast Hinterland could you still make a good enough business, by only being open hallf the time!! We had lunch at the Palmwoods Hotel which was lovely. It was expensive, but delicious - and heaps of food. I couldn’t eat all my Caesar Salad, and had some nice warm cob loaf with capsicum dip which was delish. We also shared a caramel frappe which was decadent and yummy. It’s been 19 weeks on WW and this is the first time I have ‘let my hair down’. And it’s great because I didn’t eat heaps, left a third of my salad, because I was full. It’s Mickey’s birthday on Saturday. I have planned my chocolate cake recipe, lemon patty cakes, sandwiches, and I will make some sausage rolls, but will make some lower fat ones. I have bought pork mince instead of sausage mince and I have some low fat puff pastry too.

Kids have had a ball being at home this week. They have the car track set up and are enjoying the good weather and playing outside heaps. Today they are at Holiday Care, so we could have lunch and I could have the groceries in peace. Plus it means they will have a great day tomorrow, because they won’t feel like bickering as much.

One of my dear friends offered me some work. Her and her husband have bought the CamerHouse stores on the coast, and she offered me Sunday work, or part time work in the future. I know that I would love the work, but don’t think I am ready to kiss my teaching goodbye. Plus it would mean coming home around 6pm, instead of 3 or 4, which is a huge difference. I don’t want to stretch the friendship either, but having any ‘special’ requests. Not sure how much the pay would be, but it wouldn’t go anywhere near what I can get teaching - but knowing what days I am working would be a huge plus. I know I could definitely bring something to the business. I know more than the average person about cameras, and being a woman, I think that’ s a real bonus for the store. I would also learn more, which is always exciting for me. Definitely something to keep in mind....

Murphy's Law again

Unbelievable. I haven’t worked all week, and then today I get a call. The schools know I am not available on a Thursday, but she forgot. It would have been nice and close and would have put me back into the black for the following month. I am really cranky I had to say no. I had to say no, because we have a solicitor’s appointment to sign our wills, which we have finally organized, that’s the biggest reason, then I want to be home to take part in my ‘Shoebox’ webinar, it’s my grocery day, and probably the most important fact is because Sammy is involved in a ‘cafe’ and Mum, Dad and I are all going ‘out’ to the cafe for lunch - and he would be heartbroken if I didn’t go....

What price for your kids?

Kidspeak

Yesterday after we'd been to the Caloundra apartment block, we took the kids to McDonalds for an ice-cream.

We all sat down, I with my skim latte and the kids with their chocolate sundaes and Daddy with his caramel one.

Mickey piped up, and explained 'We are all having a Sunday and Daddy is having a Saturday!'. Yep well that explains why his was caramel and their's were all chocolate.

Another weekend gone

I can't believe how fast the weekends go by. I had a busy one this weekend and it was very enjoyable. Friday night I went scrapping as usual, and enjoyed another lovely evening with a few of my closest friends. I tried to get home earlyish as I had to take Mickey to his game on Saturday morning. I took Mickey to his game, came home, quickly tidied and put on some more washing. I made a pot of coffee and waited for dh to come home so we could sit together - enjoy a nice cuppa - before I got changed, and headed out for a midday to midnight scrapbooking day. I made two cards (x2) because a girlfriend wanted copies. I love her work, it's awesome, and then I was worried that htey wouldn't turn out well enough. so I took ages to get my head around these cards. I need more practise of measuring and cutting etc. My scrapbooking is always straight, but doens't require measuring, so I don't do it much. I think I harmed a fair bit of cardstock making those cards lol......but they turned out really well. Barbi had chicken and salads organized for dinner so that was lovely too. The money raised went to Cystic Fibrosis.

Yesterday we went and visited Peter's parents, and had lunch with them. It was really nice seeing them, and seeing them so happy. Mum is recovering really really well from her shoulder surgery and after her year of eye surgeries and her shoulder replacement, she is finally a picture of health and is feeing great. We also dropped into the Caloundra unit and paid a deposit on our holiday. It costs so much, at least if we have it paid off before hand, it means we can go out for a few meals and not worry about every penny so much if the accommodation is already paid for.

On Friday night we were chatting and one of my girlfriends asked me what I did all day. She loves to do her chores and then head out for the day, whether she rides her motorbike, goes to the plaza or sees her sister -she just always goes out. I really enjoy my days at home, and her questions set me to thinking and analyzing why I like to stay at home.

When I only had Billy-Joe, I became bored at home. I loved going out then, I really craved company of others as I felt lonely too. Most days I visited my parents, and EVERY single Saturday Mum and I went shopping. When the other kids came along, I stayed home - out of necessity. They were hard work, and going out was far from easy, it was quite stressful. I would go to my fortnightly MOPS mornings and that kept me sane. (Only just!!) I don't miss those early years. Yes I loved my kids deeply when they were little - don't get me wrong. But I didn't enjoy being home with a baby and a toddler. I had gone from one child who was so well behaved, to a baby (who was good until he too became a toddler) and a toddler who was 'full on'. Even once I only had Mickey at home, I found it difficult. I'd had ten years of babies, nappies, crying, crankiness, whinging which drove me spare - and I was looking forward to having those days behind me. Combine all that with problems with depression, battling my weight, being tired all the time and I am a little sad in reflection. I kept my house clean, my kids were well looked after, and I am glad I stayed home in those formative years, as I believe kids need that, plus I didn't have the energy or the mental fortitude to have returned to work, even though at times I knew it would have been good for me to have gone to work.....

It's the second year now that all my kids are at school every day, and also the second year I have returned to work. I love being at home during the day. I love the peace and the fact I can do my chores without anyone undoing my work behind me, or without having to worry about what anyone is doing. On the days I don't work, I am quite content to just stay home. I rarely go out as I don't have the need to go out. I don't have the money either, so lunch and or coffee isn't an option. I buy my meal every Friday night,and that's it. If I were not working at all, that wouldn't be every week either. Heck, this fortnight, I have no money now until pay day, which is Thursday week. No money - except a tiny bit I have left aside for Friday night and no access to any either. But that's okay - that's just the way it is - but it also means that coffee, driving somewhere needlessly, or lunch, just isn't on my radar.

Instead I can do my chores and sit and play on the computer, read blogs, learn my computer programs and operating system, read my book, go for my walk and just enjoy my own company.

It's 11am, I have done some errands,made some phone calls, bought some groceries and picked up some more ventolin for Billy-Joe. I also had to get fuel. When I got home I did my ironing, and dusting. The toilet's cleaned, the kids' room is tidied. I have browned my chicken, onions and garlic an have a yummy apricot chicken simmering away in the crock pot. Later I will head out for my walk and pick up my kids. As it's the last week of school before the holidays, hopefully none of them have any homework, so that will make this Monday afternoon a pretty cruisy one. Sammy has to practise his keyboard as he has a concert tomorrow. Normally with homework, I always help them - and harass them to not talk and keep working, it's almost like being in the classroom. Sammy takes ages some days, and as he is reading 'chapter books' we are often working together until around 4.30pm. I like to help them with their homework while I am preparing dinner. They can then play and I will have my shower and get into my jammies. Nowadays it's getting quite cool, so the kids normally inside and showered by 5.30pm. Peter comes home around six, showers and we have dinner. Then I clear up, load the dishwasher, and the kids read before their lights are turned off. Sometimes one of us will go in and read to them, but we are encouraging that they read to themselves. It's awesome seeing them all reading now.

My days are full and busy - and I often don't go anywhere. I guess it's a sign of contentment. I have set up my environment to be my 'happy place'. I love going to work, and Friday nights are my mandatory night with my 'bestests' - but it's pretty awesome being happy at home.

Update time

Another weekend has gone by the wayside. A long weekend in fact, as it was Show Day on Friday. I can’t get over how fast it has gone though. I was pretty busy the entire time, and that always makes time fly.

On the Friday a friend whom we’d met in Springbrook came to visit. It was an interesting visit. He and I were quite good mates when I lived there on my own. He lived a couple of doors down the same road I did - and we used to eat dinner together, either at the pub, or at his house. It’s interesting how someone you meet can have a lasting impact on your life, and yet when you see them again, the connection isn’t so strong anymore. Many many things have changed in the intervening years....Dh is convinced that if we spent some time together over good wine and food, that maybe things would be like they once were. I don’t think so.

Anyway, he is still a valued friend, someone who was once important in our lives. Through him I learnt to appreciate good quality red wine. I also learnt to cook Beef Vindaloo, which today, I still cook as he did. He also had a really good chef’s knife which I loved to use, and now I have a block of those knives myself. It was nice seeing him, and meeting his lady friend. Even though at times I felt pushed for conversation. I wonder if he felt the same.

Saturday I spent shopping with my Mum. It was a leisurely afternoon, I reckon we spent about 3 hours just sitting, drinking coffee or eating lunch. Just laughing, reminiscing, counting our blessings and talking of the future too. Just girl time, friend time - precious time.

I did my birthday shopping. I got Mickey a Wahu cricket set for his birthday and Billy-Joe a small ipod shuffle, which he will just love. Mum bought me a top which I had tried on months ago, and it was full price then. Mum paid a quarter of the initial price, plus I was able to buy it in a smaller size, which was pretty cool indeed! I also bought a pair of cords, which were only $20 - they are great for work on cool days, as they are soft, warm and comfy to wear.

When I got home I made a marinade for my lamb chops (the hideously expensive ones), and it was delicious - I took photos, so need to update my sadly neglected recipe blog when I get a chance.

Yesterday I finished my Photoshop Elements class. The next one starts in July, but I am not sure yet whether or not I want to do it. I definitely have learnt stuff - the program is amazing and the changes are great. (From PSE5 (Windows Version) )

Bad days and better days

LIfe has been up and down, on a pain threshold level. Thankfully, I’m on an up now. I had days in the last two weeks, where I wondered where all this was heading. For far out sakedness, where am I going to end up? Am I going to end up on crutches and hurting every second of the day.

Okay, take a deep breath Jen. It could indeed be a gazillion times worse.

Get a grip, find that strength within you which you know you have, and utilize it to it’s fullest degree.

Self talk, is a wonderful motivator, it can be as inspiring as it can be debilitating. I have talked myself around.

After two weeks of not walking much and feeling like shit, a nice day presented itself and I just had to go out and walk. And walk I did. For most of the walk, every step hurt!! Every time I lifted my right leg, it hurt, it felt like it weighed too much but I just kept plodding along. Polar HRM stats weren’t real flash, but I walked, and I felt warm from the inside out and best of all felt like I had achieved something. Did I hurt more at the end of the day than usual?? No!! Too cool, so I went for another walk yesterday and it was easier

Some layouts

I haven't uploaded any of my layouts in ages.

Here are some of my latest ones.


Sammy playing the keyboard at Karen and Geoff's house.
Cath and I looking at our booty from out day at Ikea. See the large piece, that's Al's desk that she insisted would fit into my car.....luckily it did!! She couldn't fit it into her car though lol......so it was a drama once we got back to my place.

A good fun time with hybrid scrapbooking.
Playing with digital elements, another hybrid page.

I know they are all wonky, I photographed them leaning up on the kitchen bench as opposed to doing them on the floor. I will go back to lying them on the floor and standing over them, a much better image, with no distortion.

A better day

I am feeling much better within myself compared to the last three days.

It was all precipitated by the appointment I had at the hospital, I am sure. It was a quite stressful day. The arthrogram went okay, just stung when he repeatedly put the needle in the anaethetize my leg. I felt a bit faint at one stage when he put the huge needle in where the dye went through, and he pulled it out and had to re insert it!

The MRI, is enough to drive someone totally insane. I have thought about it a lot since. I found that I had totally had enough. I hate noise, and the noise was too much. Imagine lying in the middle of a construction site, and having heavy machinery and jackhammers going ....... anyway enough of that. Thankfully the thoughts of things like that fade very quickly and at least next time, I will know what to expect.

Today is a good day though. Sammy’s class had a liturgy this morning, so I went and watched him. He is such a darling, and gets such a buzz out of me being there. Actually all three kids really liked having me there. Billy-Joe even spent the time before school started waiting with me and he had four friends with him too, which is pretty cool, that a group of year 7 boys would hang around - pretty neat I thought.

I got home and did my ironing, and vacuuming. Bunny dropped home and we had a chat and had to fix up some banking stuff on the phone. I tell you what, having a techno ignorant husband is funny...... Anyway we have finally set up his account so he can do third party deposits. What a laugh! I am sitting next to him with all his details to hand, and prompting him...... I am glad one of us is up to speed with things lol.....

I pottered around with some of my scrapping stuff in the afternoon, and then walked to pick up the kids from school. I didn’t feel like my long walk, but am really pleased I did the school walk. At least it’s half an hour.

I had another great night scrapbooking, I actually finished a layout. I must photograph and upload some of my latest creations. It’s 1.47am and I really should be in bed. Scrapbooking and spending time with my best friend, is therapy - and I feel much more at peace with myself than I did all this week.

Murphy's Law of Supply Teaching

I worked yesterday, a pre booked day, which are always the best, and of course I was rung in the morning, to work elsewhere too! Then today, I have my Arthrogram and MRI booked and the Special School contacted me to work. I haven’t worked for them since last term, the day the student hit me. When some time has elapsed between working at a venue, I always start to think, that they don’t want me back, and then in the last two days, the only other two schools that I work for, have wanted me to work. So, even though I couldn’t take the jobs, I was pretty pleased that I am still on their lists. I still like only having a few schools to work at - it increases my level of loyalty to the school and also my familiarity with the school routine and it also gives me a chance to get acquainted with other staff members.

My appointment is in a couple of hours. I have asked my dh to take me there and pick me up. I read the notes on the Arthrogram and it doesn’t sound very nice. I may be in pain afterwards and they suggest that I don’t drive for up to four hours. I will have to go and pick up the kids, but thats three hours later, so I should be okay. I am trying to look at the bright side, and not focus on the fact it’s going to hurt. I get a very quiet day. I get to rest - who knows maybe I can sleep while I have my scan. Methinks, perhaps not, as I will have to lie on my back (I imagine!). I will take my book, I finished Ken Follet’s “PIllars of the Earth” and am about to start his new one, the sequel “World without End”. I won’t get my walk in this afternoon either, so it’s going to be rather relaxing when I get home too. I am hoping that my left side is bad enough to show up on x-ray, as my right side is actually giving me much more trouble at the moment and they will only can one side at a time. If I am lying flat on my back, I have trouble lifting my right leg off the bed - it hurts and isn’t very strong, while at my left leg isn’t too bad. If I do certain stretches, I can feel my left side catching, so I know it hasn’t miraculously healed itself. It will be good to hopefully get a proper diagnosis.

Ramblings on

You know sometimes this whole blogging thing gets a big all over the place. I have so much to say and often start to formulate posts in my head, unfortunately, many which stay unwritten.

It was another Daisy’s retreat last weekend, and was just lovely, although it’s Thursday now and I think I have finally recovered. I came home and slept in my own bed both nights, but still felt quite washed up by yesterday. I worked yesterday, first day in two and a half weeks, so that was a contributing factor as it was a rather hectic day. I didn’t do many layouts at the retreat , only three, but had a great time. On the Saturday night, Barbi had one of her nephews and his mate come in and sing for us. It was really nice, they were quite good, singing James Blunt, Sean Mullins type music which are amongst my favourite. Then we played on the Singstar so the repressed singer within me had a ball. It beats singing into a hairbrush, like I did when I was a kid, and I don’t know how bad it sounded to everyone else, but I wasn’t the only one belting out a tune, who couldn't actually  sing.

Our table was really good. We had some girls at the end of the table, plus one of them had their daughter with them. Kerrie, was there, Karen, and also Carrin and her Mum. It was a nice mix of people and a good mix of laughter and serious times. Kerrie has not long ago lost her Mum, Karen has recently lost her father and one of the other girls very recently lost her Mum to a very aggressive brain tumor. It was good for Kerrie and Sheree to be able to talk to one another. Karen had gone for a lie down, so missed the ‘heavier’ parts of the conversation. The tragic loss of Sheree’s Mum was made much more tragic due to the fact that her Mum became quite nasty in the weeks leading up to her death.

 Early on in the conversation I had to leave it. Not because I felt it was morbid or that I  was becoming upset, but because I felt like an interloper. I have had a charmed life and suffered little loss in my 45 years, and I felt this was too personal and that it wasn’t appropriate for me to include myself in this discussion. My heart went out to those girls - their grief still new and incredibly raw. 

In my life, I lost a friend of the family, who was killed in a car accident. I don’t remember her face as I was quite young, but I remember feeling very sad over that. Kids were shielded from a lot back in those days. When my grandmother died, I was quite upset and given that I had only ever spent such a small amount of time with her, I was hit quite hard when she died. She had been ill and was taken quite quickly. I mourn the fact that I never had her close by - my own children are so lucky to have their grandparents in their lives. My Uncle died nearly three years ago, and that was a huge shock, and I think of him often. I used to see him for a few weeks every two years - so again the physical proximity wasn’t there, but it still hurts nonetheless. I hear of the tragic loss of lives everyday, and live with it through my friends, and am so grateful that I have never had to deal with it to that extent. My dh and I are incredibly blessed that both sets of parents are fit and healthy and very much alive. Hearing these stories of loss, makes me realize how fragile our hold on life really is. That everyday we have is a true gift and we should treasure it with all our hearts. Death is a part of life, there is no way of getting out of it, so I am thankful everyday that I have my parents and that we are all well.

It’s now two days later and I haven’t uploaded this post yet. I am still pondering the whole life and loss scenario. I have talked to Barbi about it. How do you reconcile your faith with the loss of loved ones. She is very wise, my dear friend is.

Not a day goes by where I don’t give thanks for what I have. I can’t even write down exactly what I feel. As I write this I am looking forward to spending the evening with my parents.

 How I feel to know that my parents are coming to dinner. I love the feeling of planning a meal for them, and cooking it. I love the times we spend together, the food we eat, the wine we drink and the good times and laughs we share whenever we are together. My parents aren’t just the people who brought me into this world, we class them amongst our very best friends. We entertain my parents more than any other couple. I cook for them a variety of things, and we sit down and just enjoy being together. My kids get a huge buzz having them around. My kidlets haven’t seen them in a few weeks, so they are very excited about seeing them.

My significant other and I also had huge discussions this morning, about our life. I told him how the death of other’s parents was really making me face things I wasn’t ready to face. We also spoke about how we are lucky we have each other, and that even through all the tough times, we have stuck together and that we are both poignantly aware of how much is at stake, if there was ever a cause for this relationship to fail. Many people and acquaintances we have, are no longer together. It’s not uncommon to meet someone in the street whom we haven’t seen in a while, ask about their spouse and be told that they are no longer together. I get a cold feeling to my core when I hear that news. (Not as bad as when someone tells me they are moving or having another baby lol......) We question whether a couple actually sits down and works out what they will lose if the relationship ends. How much is at stake. Where you live, your goals, your hopes your dreams and your well being and happiness (unless of course you are in a totally dysfunctional relationship) the stability of your children is at stake, and while I agree children are quite strong and resilient, nothing is ever the same for them again. Their whole lives are turned upside down. The many unpleasantries that ensue over the following weeks, months and years would have a very dark and sad repercussion. I certainly don’t purport to be an expert on marriage and relationships, but surely a few failed marriages, and now an extremely strong one, would count for something. No-one is perfect. No relationship is ever perfect all the time. Life isn’t like that. I have become much more patient and know that beneath the little irritants, is a deep abiding love and respect for my husband, and I know he has the same loyalty and love for me. We are the core of our family. We teach our kids about love, and about fighting and then teach them that love overcomes all the hurdles. There’s no better lesson than that - no better way of teaching your kids, than just letting them see you live and love in front of them. Sometimes I feel like a single Mum, sometimes I feel hard done by, but I never ever feel like my relationship is anything other than strong. Life isn’t easy. Life is damn complicated.

This Macjournal tells me how many words this entry is, it’s 1319 words. And I do believe I said earlier in this entry that I found it hard to put some things into words!!

I close this entry, with thoughts for those parents and friends who have died recently of the people who have touched my life in some way. I pray that the loved ones left behind find some peace. That they find a strength from the knowledge their loved ones are in a better place. I pray that the loved ones are able to seek comfort in their family and friends. I pray that time eases their intense grief and they are able to think of their beloved ones without the deep pain they are currently feeling. I pray that special days will not be too sorrowful and that they are able to think of their loved ones with a peaceful joy. One of my besties recently lost her Dad. Their relationship was tenuous and extremely strained - she mourns for what is lost, I pray she finds a peace within her, to know that she did nothing wrong and that she was not responsible for his unloving treatment of her.

For myself, I pray with a hearfelt mind which is full of thankfulness. I will continue to love and enjoy my close family. I will continue to be grateful for their loving presence in our lives, and thank you God for keeping them safe and healthy.

Thank you, for all that is wonderful in my life.

Brief Update

It’s nearly two weeks now, and I haven’t worked. It’s not all bad, it means my house is tidy and I don’t feel overwhelmed, the downside of course is that today is pay day and I will have nada, zilch, nichts in my bank account. Thank God the last pay was good, so I was able to pay a month’s worth of bills. I am really happy I didn’t decide to spend any willy nilly, otherwise I’d be in the shit.

I haven’t felt 100% today. I have had an upset stomach. I have been to the toilet a few times, but I still have gurgles and pain in my tummy - so I’ve had a very quiet afternoon.

I have played with PSE6 today, and this is one of the photos I worked on.

I also have a Hungarian Goulash in the crock pot, so dinner is organized. I will have veggies and deb mashed potato with it.

I hopped on the scales this morning and I’d gained weight. I was disappointed to say the least. As far as my food and exercise diary goes, I have done nothing wrong. I am going to try and not eat rice or noodles for dinner, I think that may cause weight gain, maybe it’s too much carbs. I have exercised heaps in the last two weeks too, so that’s not the culprit. I am happy though, because the news didn’t make me want to chuck the whole thing out the window. I am reconciled to the fact that it’s a long slow journey.

I ended up buying MacJournal, which means I can keep a journal and/or post the entries onto my blogs. I thought it was a cool idea. I want to journal more and keep more notes, so this suits me well.

Saw the GP today

I had to see my GP today to get some repeats. I had run out of anti inflammatories and I can’t live without them at the moment. My level of pain some days is quite high, and without them I would be so stiff and sore, I wouldn’t be able to manage through a normal day, let alone fit in the walking I can still do. I wanted to let my doctor know that I had no intention in seeing the orthopedic specialist again and we teed things up so that wouldn’t be necessary. Today I got the impression that he actually believed me and that he also respected what I knew about the condition. I left feeling like I had someone on my side - rather than feeling like an inconvenience like I did with the specialist.

I just pray each day, that I get some resolution before I can’t work anymore, or before I can’t walk properly anymore. Days like I had last week scare the living daylights out of me. Every time I walked, my legs ached and felt like they had lead in them. Wisely, I didn’t do C25K on the weekend. I don’t think I can. I will be happy to just walk......I need to be sensible or else I can do myself more harm than good.

A quiet week

I have had a quiet week this week, and it’s been blissful. I feel recharged and not at all stressed. i was able to fit in my exercise this week which was great, even though it hurts like heck if I do a few days in a row. I rested yesterday and will today too, maybe just a short walk to get the kids from school - it’s better than nothing, and yet won’t strain my newly physioed hips.....

I

I went to assembly this morning. Billy-Joe was involved in 7Ts presentation and Mickey earned a Student of the week award. So I did the ‘good Mummy’ thing and went and watched. Sammy was sitting on the bench beside his aide, he was as proud as punch that I was there, and didn’t seem nonplussed at all about sitting there, instead of with his class. I am sure he was removed because he is disruptive.... Mickey was delighted that I was there to watch him getting his award.





Oh my kids are so darn cute!!!

FAI

Femoroacetabular Impingement (FAI)

I don't have a final diagnosis, but this looks like what I have with my hips. I saw the specialist the other week. I wasn't too impressed with him. I spent about 10-15mins with him, paid him $125 and he treated me like I was an inconvenience. I didn't even think his exam was as thorough as my physio's or the GP's. He did the same tests, but in a kind of half hearted way. I still need my MRI which will confirm this diagnosis. I actually learnt more from Dr. Google than I did from him. He only gave me the layman's term for it, and I had to find the correct name on the 'net.

Looks like it will be surgery at some stage. My fear is, that I have it in both sides, but everyone is ignoring the fact. So does this mean I will have one side done and then go through the whole damn process again with the other side.

My other fear is that at some stage, I won't be able to exercise anymore, hopefully this won't happen before the surgery!!!

I hate being in pain.

Have not really been remiss

If I haven't posted here, it's a chance that I have blogged on my other blog..... The last post on my other blog, should have been here, I obviously forgot where I was lol......

Come and visit me over here if I have been slack here. It's my food/fitness blog so I intended to keep it seperate, but as it is a lifestyle thing, the differences between the two blogs gets blurred, hence the post on the wrong one.

Half a point of relaxation

I have worked today - have completed two days of a ten day contract which will take place over the next four weeks. At least for four weeks, I know where I am going to be, and know beforehand, so can be organized with meals, cleaning, washing etc. Two days a week would be just perfect, I feel good after two days. It's busy leaving at home at 7.30am and not getting home until 4pm, so a much longer day than when I work locally.

I am enjoying a half a point of wine as I sit and type this. Dinner is organized, egg and bacon baskets with a green tossed salad. Easy peasy and delicious (and low points).

Will have to hop over to weight loss blog to make a comment there.....busy busy busy!!

Happy to be getting work

I am still happy with my decision to knock back the initial Kenilworth Contract, I have made up the money I would have earned there. I am also okay now completely with my decision to not do the six week contract. I have worked another two days this week, and am very happy.  

I had an interesting day today.

I worked with the older kids which I love. First up we went into Woolies and bought ingredients for our cooking in the middle session. One girl didn't know what a zucchini was! My Mum and Dad were down there doing their shopping and one of my students wanted to be introduced to them. She is always so friendly and very sweet.    We got back for morning tea, and then cooked our macaroni cheese. It looked great and the kids really enjoyed making it and eating it. One girl, (the one who didn't know what a zucchini was) was already getting a rather glazed 'switched off' look about her, when I asked her to wait for her class mates.  I don't know this girl's history, but knew it wasn't good - had to be a good reason why a young girl was in an independent living situation.  

In the afternoon we went to a session where the kids do drumming.  We were sitting waiting for the guy to come who was running it. I asked the girl to sit still and keep her hands to herself.  When the lesson commenced, I asked her again.  That glazed look was strong - she told me I was an idiot......more than once, and this was yelled.  I walked away, and consulted with my assistant. I knew this behaviour wasn't acceptable, but wanted to handle it properly. I quietly returned to her, bobbed down beside her, and spoke very quietly ( so as not to disturb the class, nor to draw too much attention to her). I kept my voice low and by bobbing right down, I was not an intimidating threat at all. Unfortunately, by being so unintimidating, it gave her a nice opportunity for her to yell at me to F*ck off and then  whack me one.  A huge open handed slap on the shoulder - so hard it stung, and I couldn't believe I didn't fall over.  I got up and walked away.I had a witness, my assistant so that's always good. I spoke to another teacher, she took over from me as we both knew it unwise for me to re enter the room. Unfortunately the student just lost it, attacked the other teacher and whacked another student in the side of the head.  One of the other big boys was so upset, I found him sitting on a bench, just sobbing into his hands.  He settled down and went back to drumming. The girl who assaulted us, settled down quickly and went home.  No doubt nothing will happen to her. Apparently she has endured horrors and abuse more horrible than I can imagine. She was like a caged animal, and did the only thing she knew how to do - fight back and get out!  It will be interesting to see what happens when I see her again.  

I learnt something about myself - one of those things you never really know until it happens to you.  She struck me, and there wasn't a single thought in my head of hitting her back. I had no anger - none whatsoever.  

I walked out, filled in the appropriate paper work, put an ice pack on my shoulder for a bit and went and picked up my kids.   

The ups and downs

It's been a while since my last post - again. I often spend portions of my day with a post floating around in my head, but quite often it seems too hard to actually sit down and write. Last weekend was lots of fun. Easter is always such a special holiday. Not only for the Christian significance, made all the more special by the kids attending a faith based school, and therefore having lots of questions and thoughts, but also because it's a time for family, and a lovely few days off.

My dieting/exercise regime is going really well, and on Friday I went on a big walk. It was only a 40 minute one, but I paid for it severely that evening. I get scared when I have bad spasms like that as I think maybe it's going to stay like that. I awoke Saturday and it was no better, so I didn't walk that day. I had a nice relaxing day at home. Dh's parents were supposed to come for afternoon tea, but they cancelled as FIL was not feeling well. They were leaving the next day for a week in Sydney and he really needed to fully recuperate for that. Easter Sunday was blissfully relaxing as I didn't need to run around like a headless chook like I normally do. As MIL and FIL were away, I could stay home and prepare for lunch with my parents. My db and dsil and my nieces dropped in for a visit which was really nice. It's fleeting but so much better than it once was. The girls were delighted because I gave them heaps and heaps of scrapbooking stuff. Probably a few hundred dollars worth, plus several mags and books. Dh had gone to a party on Saturday night, a mates 50th from his school days and I graciously declined and stayed home. I watched a chick flick and then when the movie was over I sorted out my scrapping stuff. The girls were rapt and couldn't believe I was giving it away. Now I can justify buying some new stuff. I have been very frugal of late, and in the last twelve months have spent very little on my scrapping.

Sunday was a lovely day. Lots of yummy food and laughs. The kids had a ball looking for Easter Eggs, we had a ball hiding them....

On Easter Monday, dh took me to REBEL sports and I got new hand weights.....oops I have just realized that I have probably already said all this......aahhhh......never mind, I will continue, I was actually going to spend more time on another topic and just got awfully sidetracked.....

I walked Monday afternoon, and felt good afterwards, I also walked on Wednesday and felt great afterwards.....no residual hip pain. I did take some nurofen beforehand, I wonder if that helped.

Okay, onto my main part. I worked two days in the Special School this week. A nice little earner for me again this week, made all the better, by not having to put kids in care nor paying a huge amount in fuel. I read a post here
and decided to write one along similar lines. My work days are so full, I don't really know where to start to try and capture them on print.....but I will try.

This was my day on Thursday
* My day was pre booked so I knew I was working, always makes such a difference. Drove kidlets to school, and headed of to my school.
* 8.10am Arrive at school
* Speak with teacher who is having non-contact to attend a meeting with parent while she outlines the day and hands me a folio of the kids profiles.
* Talk to teacher, try to look closely at photos so I know who is who before they come in.
* Read through profiles of one cerebral palsy boy, plus three autistic boys. All are non verbal, cerebral palsy kid can say words when prompted.
* kids arrive into room, and as they are autistic, they need routine, so one thing is already different, I am not their usual teacher. Thank God for program assistants who know the children(unlike my day the other week when both the teacher and assistant were away, and I had another assistant and it was the blind leading the blind).
* Kids all have sensory activities in boxes beside their table, so they sit and 'play'. One boy loves 'trickling', so just sits rocking and trickling through some plastic dinosaurs. One boy totally self motivated, barely looks at me and just sits and works through his tasks one by one, no doubt in the same order as he has done them every other day.
* Meanwhile S is strolling around the room picking up everything he shouldn't be. I let him have some Thomas pictures and coerce/bribe him to sit down. Meanwhile he squeals at me and I wonder how long it will be before my head aches.
* Kids go to music (is my head going to ache here??), Kids sit in a circle with percussin instruments. They respond to music, some singing and rocking, some singing with their eyes closed just enraptured (this was done with two other classes). I hold M's hands and try to get him to play with the rhythm sticks. S holds onto his Thomas picture and just looks at his instrument.
* Last song 'Who let the dogs out' sends them all into a frenzy, they get up and play with ribbons on sticks, while I keep my back to the door, making sure none of my charges 'escape'.
* Come back, D sets the table for morning tea, and they all sit and eat. I disdain at the crap in the kids' lunch boxes. I can't give them the food in the wrong order, D likes to eat in a certain order. M is gluten free and is Mum has sent in a pie for him to eat!! Go figure.
* All can feed themselves so I just supervise and ensure that their routine is adhered to. Kids put their dishes away, can choose a free activity before they go out to play.
* M sits down on the ground and won't go to the playground. We coerce him with a small piece of chocolate.
* Go in breathe a sigh of relief and have a cuppa. One session over and I haven't lost anyone yet.
* Collect charges. Assistant toilets them. Thankfully two of them go by themselves.
* S is determined not to do any work. Pictures on velcroed onto a card show him he needs to do some work before the computer. More screeching, head butting, screaming, (gosh why isn't my head bursting yet). Me just repeating over and over, almost like a mantra to myself. Just complete your work and you can have the computer. Sit down and please do your work, on and on and on and on........thank God no-one's taping me.
* S finally decides to work, takes him two mins to complete a task. Simple tracing over lines, pre writing stuff. These kids are 12 so gives you an idea of their level of intellect. D is quite bright and can write his name, and will pick up things fairly quickly. I am unsure, but I don't think he's had much formal schooling, so this environment will see him blossom - to a degree.
* M is walking around, or trickling again. He sits on a bean bag and seems happy in his own little world. There is no response from him, none at all. He understands because sometimes he does what is asked of him, but that is restricted to 'come here' or 'sit down'.
* S is finally deciding to sit down and place hands in shaving cream. Has a lovely feeling to it, only on kid actually likes to touch it. It's great because you can write their name in it and they can trace over it. And it feels so smooth and lovely, but many of these kids hate the sensation - they will eat mud, or laminated cards but baulk at touching shaving lotion!! S can now go to computer......peace, as he's not screaching at me.
* K partcipates in everything, but needs a constant reminder to wipe his mouth. He dribbles continually, so I felt like I was always avoiding slobber. He's pretty good though, and wipes when reminded, but there's a lot on his shirt . K likes to play in the shaving cream, using my hand!!
* We wash up and play some board games. D is savvy and wants to win, so looks at things before he picks them up. Both K and D are good at matching images. Again I avoid slobber, most of the time anyway.....
* M is sitting in the corner trickling and doesn't smell too pleasant. Apparently Mum demands he wear jocks!! Mmmmmm, not a good idea - what the??
* Pack up and prepare table for lunch. Take children to play area. Am on duty so need to stay. One child runs off, I chase, and then he sits down. He'd weigh as much as I do, so there's no way I can pick him up. Fortunately the teacher in the room beside me, has a tiny bit of chocolate, so once again I can tempt M into the play area. I am on duty with my assistant, so at least I have some company. I have to man the puddle made by the a/c as the kids want to play in the mud. We place a barrel over the puddle and then M spends time trying to push me away to try and get to the water. I sit on teh barrel, and he pushes me off and sits on the barrel himself - rocking.
* I go and have lunch and am feeling a tad weary, but not unhappy.
* More disgrunted behaviour from S ensues as I ask him to brush his hair again. He brushes his teeth with lightning speed too. Have to assist assistant by holding M's head so she can brush his teeth, well his front ones anyway, he just bites the toothbrush.
* M is not happy, so the afternoon bike ride doesn't take place. I ad lib, by reading stories and dancing. Love the kids's faces as I read a spider story and I run my fingers up their arms, they cackle with delight.......so cool. And they love to dance.
* Day finishes, we have to put their shoes and socks back on, paying heed to do the one last who always pulls his off.... We take them to the bus shelter and I stand and wait until their bus and carer comes and gets them. K is going to after school care so I take him there. He's not happy, as he wanted to go home....
* I had a good day, but a very hard one. Not for the fainthearted.
* I have been screeched at, taunted, yelled at, glared at, head butted, pushed, shoved, and had my feet stood on......over and over again.
* The upshot of that is my arthritic toe is so incredibly sore. It was throbbing and throbbing. Normally I know it hurts, it always hurts to be squeezed, but it never bothers me otherwise........ not until it gets repeatedly trodden on. I had no nurofen in the house, so ending up anethatizing myself with a few glasses of wine and then I got a little relief with an ice pack. It wasn't any better this morning. I went and got some nurofen plus, which helped the throbbing, but it's still awfully tender.......methinks I'll need to wear steel capped boots, a cool look ......

What did you do?

"What did you do? Please tell me your secret recipe? What did you do to create such an amazing child?  He is awesome. He received merit awards the whole time. He is so helpful, so encouraging, he looks after his friends. He is gracious and kind.  I have been meaning to tell you this - I feel so much better now, I am just amazed. You should bottle this, he is an amazing kid, he is so polite - always.  Everyone there, all the adults there, couldn't get over what a wonderful kid he is.  Please tell me your secret recipe? "

This monologue greeted me when I picked up my eldest boy from camp.  I stood there and cried, freely, tears streaming down my face.  My son's teacher told me this and I was so filled with pride, I thought I would burst - Billy-Joe cried too.  

This is what I work toward. This is what I persist for. This is what discipline and love are for. This is what guidance and patience and perseverance are for.

My boy I am so overwhelmed with this and so so proud of you.

Update

I couldn't think of a better title for the post.......can't always be as creative.

Last time I wrote I spoke of how I was happy with my decision to knock back a six day contract. I am still happy with my decision....... The special school rang me on Monday, so I've had one day's relief work which is great. It also meant I was able to keep my appointments. Tomorrow I will see my physiotherapist and my gp in relation to my leg issues....

I have had good days, and not so good days. If I walk too much, it hurts like mad, not while I am walking, but later on. Yesterday I walked my circuit (very hilly) and then three hours later did virtually the same route to pick up the kidlets from school. I paid for that last night.....

I had my x-ray and CT scan today, and have read the report. (Am I the only one who reads the reports, that say 'for referring doctor only'??) That's a load of parlaffle. I want to know my results and not wait until some 'learned' individual tells me. My results, didn't show anything insidious, just some degenerative stuff which is normal for my age.

I will see the specialist at the start of May, will see what happens there.