Slumped

When I analyze how I'm feeling at the moment, I'm reminded what a complex creature I am. I've had a really good week. School started back, the kids are happy. The house is calm and happy, and I am very happy with that. So, then why do I feel like crap? Why do I feel like I'm filled with dread which hurts and drives me to tears. Why is it when all is going so well, I don't feel like I want to feel. I have everything I need and lots of what I want. I am loved, cherished, respected. I feel needed and appreciated - so what then? It's this frustration which only adds fuel to the fire. The fire being uncertainty, self doubt and a lethargic frame of mind.

I psycho analyze everything when I feel like this. I know that I have these patches, usually every couple of months, and they usually pass. I have to give myself permission to feel like crap and just take it easy - it does always pass. But this time it's happened not all that long after my post Christmas slump and I'm angry, peeved, upset and frustrated at myself. I tell myself to snap out of it, but it's not so simple - how I wish it were. So I analyze every aspect of my life - exercise. Okay that's been non existent for the last ten days, and it always goes first when my mood deflates. Actually, it only takes the slightest change in routine or mood and exercise goes out the window and that is not a good thing. So I went on the treadmill this morning. Instead of beating myself up that I can't run as fast as long as I want to I am concentrating on how far I've come and what I can indeed do. I can remember a couple of years ago, I'd jog for a minute, then worked up to five minutes and felt like I'd won an Olympic medal. Now I can jog 8km/h for half an hour, for 4km and I feel really good. I can breathe okay, and my heart rate stays at a good level. So why try and push beyond that and feel bad because I can't do it. I'd rather jog for 30 mins at a level I can sustain than jog faster and watch the timer go by ever so slowly, before I can slow down for a minute or so. So, in my bid to be kind to myself, I will jog at the slower pace. I hit burnout really quickly when I exercise, so I know I can sustain this rate, and I know that will encourage me to do it more often. I really should jog every single day of the week. Two to three times is not enough.

Okay so that's one aspect of my life that I can put back on track and the benefits are immediate.

The other area of my life, which I feel needs an improvement, is the state of my house. I can cope with the fact that my house is small, but the lack of storage is really getting to me. I hate to look into a room and have it look messy. I need to formulate a plan. I have a friend who will help me out there, plus I need money to be able to buy the things I need. Until I've been working again for a while, that's not a consideration. I'll get everything from Ikea - affordable and nice too. Okay, so I should let that go, because I can't do anything about that at the moment.......

My creative space (namely my left side of my brain) is a mess too. I just feel like I have really really lost my mojo. It's been on a gradual decline for several months now. I still scrap, but it's not coming easily to me. I look at pictures and don't even like what I look at - so I don't copy much, although I've never copied many layouts anyway, sometims it's a good place to start. In all honesty, if it weren't for my loyalty to Daisy's I could easily scrapbook on a computer. I have enough digital kits to keep me out of mischief and I could scrap away on a Fri night on a laptop, and still enjoy the company of the girls. But I won't do that ! Not only because of my attachment to the store and all it stands for, but because I do love the texture and feel of scrapbooking. I love playing with patterned papers. I love combining things that aren't meant to go together. That's my strength in the craft. I have no trouble at all picking papers and mixing things up a bit to create a different look. I also have a good eye for balance, and know when a layout doesn't work, and know how to fix it. I look at all my stuff and I'm so bored with some of the old stuff. My new things, like my stamps, I want to use more of, and quiet frankly I don't know where to go to next. Okay, so I've bought these gorgeous stamps - now what?? I don't buy much anymore. I am a frugal scrapper. I was buying too much, hoarding too much and I don't have the money or the inclination to have it all!! Which is a much better way to be, but seriously depeleted range of choice makes it harder to scrap. It's about the photos and the stories, both of which I can tell and do. I don't journal as much as I'd like either. I can do that best with the computer and it's not always practical to scrap with the computer at the store. I want to be sitting with my friends, not at the computer fiddling with fonts and text placement. This is another reason why digital srapbooking is a good thing to do - I can journal screeds, and it all fits!! I love the computer at home to update my blog, keep in touch on Facebook, and read my blogs and edit my photos, but I don't want to spend much extra time doing layouts.......so I don't tend to do many.

So, I don't know how to answer the scrapbooking/creative dilemma.

I have time on my hands at the moment, and I'm annoyed with myself for not using it wisely.

Dear Bunny came home from work today, and I was able to just have a hug and cry a little. He is always so good when I'm like this. No recriminations, no empty platitudes. Just love.

I can talk to my friends, when they're down. I've always got good advice. I can talk Sammy through his difficult times, and the little boy heeds my advice....

It's time to take my own advice - if I knew what it was.

Perhaps, now that I've talked to Bunny, 'it's' been acknowledged, I have written down my thoughts so they're no longer shoved into the recesses of my mind - now I can let it go.

Let it go. Rejoice in all that's good. Pray for contentment.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

Tami, children in Australia (states differ a little, this is how our state works), start school in Prep at the age of 6. They then attend primary school from year 1 to year 7. They are 12 or sometimes 13 when they finish. They attend High School from year 8 to year 12. By this time, they are 17. They can attend university from there, dependant on results of course and complete a degree, which can be anything from 3 years upwards. Most kids don't go to university, but many do. Kids wanting to do an apprenticeship, for example as an electrician, chef or plumber, can do school based training, not sure how this works exactly. But it means when they leave school to do their apprenticeship, they've already completed some of the requirements. Many uni graduates, are actually mature aged students, like myself who attended uni many years after their school is completed (and most often haven't attended to the end of year 12). It's very interesting how it's very different in each country. I was reading on a blog the other day about schooling in Germany and it's very very different to ours.... In Victoria, where I grew up, we would choose which type of secondary schooling we'd attend dependant upon our aspirations. You'd attend a High School if you wanted follow an academic path which would lead to university, or you'd attend a Technical School if you wanted to pursue a trade. Not sure if it's still like that now though.

My Week

The school year has begun again, it feels odd. I have actually been at a loss a few times this week, with the house so quiet. I am missing the kids - which is a lovely feeling. Normally school goes back, and I breathe a huge sigh of relief 'Thank God' school's back and my children are occupied. It's a sign of changing times which are changing for the better. Slowly but surely the stressful days of tiny children is behind me. I often think of those days and am so grateful that they are in the past. The kids are happy to be home, and are happy to be together. They are all of an age now, where they are old enough to play all things together. Mickey is no longer the baby that needs 'guarding' from the small Legos or removing from play, because he's too small. My three boys have forged a close bond and it's wonderful seeing them interact. They probably spend too much time on the computer and playstation, but I often listen to them. They discuss their games, their strategies and their gameplay. Mickey learns by watching the others and has an opinion on everything, which are often not welcome lol..... They are interacting and solving problems together and I love being the fly on the wall to overhear their dialogue.

The new school week has brought with it a lot of emotion and some special moments. I always stress over the first day of school. It's not easy taking a semi trailer load worth of books to school, and getting the kids set up in their rooms. This week was a sharp reminder of how far they have come. Both Sammy and Mickey went off confidently and without nerves or any stress. I left very quickly as I wanted to take Billy-Joe to his first day of high school - which though not far away, meant fighting through early morning traffic. I knew Sammy could ask for help from his aide, and I'd teed up a girlfriend to help Mickey out with his stuff. They were both fine and happy when I left. I couldn't help but think of the day that I took Billy-Joe to year 2, Mickey was in a pram, and Sammy had to hold my hand as he was still a toddler, and prone to running away. Billy-Joe's class was up three flight of stairs. I stood at the bottom, wondering how I was going to bring a pram with a baby, a toddler and a big bag of books up to his classroom. I'll never forget how I felt when the principal rushed past me saying he was too busy to help me!!! Somehow I carried baby, books, and dragged my toddler up those stairs and left the pram downstairs, and I was struggling not to cry out of stress, embarassment, and frustration. Added to the fact it's stinking hot and I was not a very happy girl that morning. I never did forgive that principal for doing that - I have had complete strangers help me, and yet he couldn't spare me a minute out of his schedule.

Anway, I digress, but this school morning started very pleasantly. I headed over to the High School and saw the new year 8 kids walking into the school. I asked Billy-Joe if he was sure that I wanted him to come with him, giving him an out. He said, 'no, no, I want you to come in please'. We walked in together and I was just brimming with pride. We saw Bunny on the way in and then headed up to where the year 8 cohort were waiting. I spoke to a teacher, the chaplain and had our photo taken. When I left I was given a big hug and a kiss with a heartfelt 'I love you'......... I walked away from 60 odd kids and my son, with my heart just soaring at this point. It's moments like that I wish I could bottle. I have the highest respect for my boy. He is so loving and doesn't worry about what anyone else thinks. I know these public shows of affection will stop one day - and that's okay. But I also know that this is very rare for a 12 year old boy. His softness and thoughtfulness is very very precious. Add that to his normal boy behaviour, such as rowdy play and loud behaviour, and he's a well balanced young boy.

Yesterday I picked him up from school to take him for an afternoon tea. The other two were at after school care and I know how much Billy-Joe values the one on one time with me. We had a nice afternoon, chatting about school and not being interrupted by anyone.

Last evening we talked about how important it was to keep the enthusiasm that he was feeling now, for the duration of his school years. Billy-Joe isn't gifted or anything , but is quite capable and doesn't find anything difficult, which does put in in the above average category I guess. He always works at a 'this is good enough' mode, so I'm trying to encourage him to get the point where he thinks it's good enough, and just pushing through beyond that. School is actually for learning, not just socializing lol.....At the moment he is keen with all the newness of High School and we both want it to continue for him.

Peter and I are so proud of the person that he is. He has wonderful manners, he's incredibly thoughtful, he's extremely protective of his younger brothers, he has a healthy respect for his elders, he is conscientous with his homework commitments, he has a great network of friends, he always wants to please us. I need to remember to read over this lol.......when he's stroppy because I've asked him to help, no, that's not fair, he often offers his help and is generally very keen to help. Sometimes the sour behaviour can overshadow his good deeds and that's wrong of me to focus on that I think. I am teaching myself to just walk away - not my problem if he's grumpy - it's his issue. It's a funny thing - love - that you can feel such intense love and pride one moment and then depths of frustration in the next.

Parenting - wouldn't change it for the world.

Laurent Caters

I went to bed on Wednesday night not feeling very well at all. By morning the nausea was so bad that I was as weak as a kitten. My plans for buying stuff for my table, went out the window. Dear Bunny took the kids to holiday care and I took myself to bed. I slept most of that day, and all that night. By Friday morning I felt a little shaky but better and then improved quickly during the day. Thank goodness, as my dinner was on Saturday night.

On Saturday I ended up still going shopping with my Mum to buy the place mats and table runner. I was really happy with what I got. I also got a few other things too, so it was a good shopping day and a nice time with my Mum. I got home and then made a quick to do list. Even though I wasn't cooking, I still wanted everything to be perfect. I was so excited about this evening and it turned out to be just perfect.

Laurent's cooking was just superb. I couldn't have asked for any better. The food was exquisite and the girls ate everything. This was the menu

COLD ITEMS
Brioche with smoked salmon
Brioche with brie
Cucumber basket with pesto chicken
Bruschetta with sun-dried tomato, pesto and feta cheese

HOT ITEMS
Quiche Lorraine


ENTREE
Baked ratatouille tart topped with parmesan

MAIN
Lamb rack with potato gratin and beans wrapped in bacon.

Served with bread rolls and butter (heart shaped rolls which he'd made)

DESSERT
Sponge cake with layers of custard and berries and meringue topping

To have with the coffee, he'd made biscuits and small puff pastry hearts with a sugar glaze.

Everything was home made. Nothing was pre bought. It was how I aspire to cook. everything made from scratch. Them lamb rack was delicious. The meat was medium rare, closer to rare but just delicious. The mushroom sauce was beautiful.

We all had a wonderful time. I felt very spoilt and very special to have my dearest friends around me. It was a great evening. Lisa had had a small mishap, well, rather her dh had the mishap in the car. As he was leaving Karen's house, he missed the driveway and landed in the ditch!! Poor Lisa was beside herself as you can imagine. She was mighty happy when she arrived to find the air was on and the wine was cold.

We were all good girls. Nobody drank too much, I thought maybe Lisa and I would get a little tipsy. I learnt a long time ago, though, that I only drink too much when it's totally unplanned. Thankfully it doesn't happen very often, I always have heaps of fun during it lol, but the next day isn't pretty. We spent Sunday celebrating Australia Day with my parents, so I'm really pleased I didn't drink too much.

I am very grateful to my lovely husband who made that evening possible. Saturday was a show of his love for me, a recognition of my love for my girlfriends as he sees it, and a wonderful way for me to thank them...... I wanted to make a speech, but I piked out. I can't even think about saying something like that and I begin to get choked up. I wrote to them instead - which isn't the same I know - but it doesn't mean I mean it any less.

Thank you girls for a fabulous night. Thank you Laurent for your culinary skills and for being great fun. Thank you Bunny for making it all possible.

The photos are all out of order, wish blogger would display them in the same order that they're upl

The kids came out to when Laurent presented the cake.

Laurent was very pleased with his cake and my reaction to it

Barbi

Entree

Suzy and I

Lisa and I

Barbi and I

Carrin and I

Karen and I

Laurent in my kitchen

An enjoyable morning

Lisa wanted a kiss on the cheek and Billy-Joe was far too shy to actually make contact with her face - it was very funny.

The kids and I haven't done anything together for weeks. We've just pottered around at home, and everyone has been pretty happy with that. I have just found, though, that I am always finding 'work' when I'm at home, and I thought it was time to take the kids out.

We headed down to Alex for Cold Rock ice cream and a play in the park. The kids have a lovely time on the playground, and Lis and I had a really nice time catching up. We were both in need of 'girl talk' so it was a very relaxing way to spend the morning. After a play we went to Cold Rock and the kids had an icecream. They are overpriced, but the kids love them, and it's not something we do very often. Lis and I had a coffee in Cotton Tree and I didn't feel like an ice cream anyway. We talked about having lunch out, but both of us had to be elsewhere. We must do that more often. I don't know if I'd like it down there in the midst of holiday season, as it was rather busy but parking wasn't a drama like it would have been in the last few weeks.

We came home. I took Mickey to a friend's place and I just had my lunch and waited for Barbi to come and visit.

Thanks Lis for a lovely morning. We will definitely do it again.

Enjoying the last week

I can't believe that the Christmas holidays are nearly over. None of us are sick of being home. How cool is that? My kids are happy to be home, they play together the entire time, and, apart from a couple of play dates, we've just been home. I've been able to duck out occasionally and do a few errands, and we've visited friends, but mainly we've been home. The weather hasn't really been conducive to the beach of late, so we've not gone. I don have a tentative beach date planned for tomorrow but I'm not sure if we are doing that yet.......

I bought Billy-Joe's school shoes, and was really happy with my find. I bought Rocs which were $39 down from $70. On cleaning out Sammy's and Mickey's shoe part in their cupboard, I discovered that Sammy needs a pair too. Mickey's rub onto his heels and wreck socks, so I think I'll replace his too. Hopefully I can get the for good prices too. My gf has shirts for Billy-Joe and is kindly altering them all for me. I am very very lucky as they are not cheap. I have his sports shirt on order, so will pick that up later this week. It's a Canterbury shirt, so ridiculously over priced. I have two hats, and another two sports hats, so that's covered. I bought him a new belt, two pairs of shorts, and socks. I may add more socks. Billy-Joe will get a hair cut, I'll take him to Cath and she can cut mine then too. He's not keen about getting his hair cut these days, but if it's his Aunty he is fine which is great.

My French Chef came this afternoon, and I can't believe how excited I am about Saturday night. He is the nicest man, and we just chatted like we'd known each other for ages. He is having a book published soon, so that's pretty damn exciting for him. He has the beginnings of a wesite here.

All of my gfs are able to come which is just fabulous. I am looking forward to entertaining them here and having lots of laughs. One of my gfs said how great it would be to have us all together out of our normal Daisy's environment. Especially for my best friend Barbi, who rarely is spoilt, and always manages to spoil everyone else around her.

On Thursday I am going shopping with my Mum. I really need some new napery. I don't know whether to go for a tablecloth or whether I'll get another runner and new place mats. I just want to tizzy up the table so it looks nice. Currently my only good tablecloth for this table, shouts 'Christmas' with it's red and green combo. My mats I've had forever. My parents bought me some and my sil bought me some about 12 years ago, so I think I can shout myself some new ones. We will head out to Pillow Talk. I might go to Spotlight too.

Today I cleaned out Billy-Joe's cupboard. I was able to give some t'shirts to Sammy and make more room in Billy-Joe's cupboard. I took out his primary school uniforms - and put the new stuff away. It's really coming close now - I can't believe my first baby is ready for high school. Bunny and I were talking the other day about how happy we are with our decision to continue him on in the private school system. I can still feel the reluctance I felt when Billy-Joe was small, and I knew he'd have to go to school eventually. I know every school has it's good and bad points, and I can't cast aspersions agains any school. But, I've had experience with them. I've seen the kids that attend there. I've seen the type of parents that pick up their kids. I didn't want my quiet, sensitive child to have to deal with that kind of environment. I don't believe in kids being cloistered, but I want them to have the best atmosphere I can possibly offer them. I know there are feral kids everywhere, but as kids get older, they are so easily impressed and I wanted to reduce that possibility. I also liked the idea of a faith based education. A Catholic school probably wouldn't have beem my first choice, but it's the most affordable one - and let's face it - it's the same God. My faith is strong enough, that I want my children to feel they have the same haven too.

Yes, we made the right decision for all our children. Sammy is getting help he never ever would have received in the state system. We are really blessed to have been able to send them private. One of my reservations about the Catholic High School initially was that I questioned its ability to cater to all the needs of all three of my children. We have decided, that if need be, we can swap over in Year 11 and 12. At this stage, my main concern would be Sammy, if he wants to be involved with animals, he's better off at the other school. I guess the wonderful thing is that we have options. I will also instil in my kids that no life long decisions need to be made whilst still at school. I want them to do their best, so that as many opportunities are opento them that's possible. I think too much pressur is put on kids to decide what their lifelong ambition or career is going to be. What 17 year old knows that??? Not many.

Time for my shower, and it's wine o'clock shortly. I've made a Tikka Masala from scratch today, and it smells divine. If it tastes good, I'll publish it here.

On Monday I will visit you about the 'mennooo'......

That's what Laurent said to me on the phone this afternoon. My darling husband knows how much my girlfriends mean to me. He knows that they are wonderful and I love them all to bits. As a birthday present, he offered me a French Chef to come and cook for me and my best girlfriends. How cool a present is that? Laurent does the tuck shop at the high school and by all accounts the food there is divine. This French Chef is coming to cook in my own kitchen. We are going to have this beautiful, French accented man cook for us! (I've never seen him before, but anyone that sounds so good has to look good right??) How awesome. I even made invitations for my gfs. We've invited the fellas along, if they want to come and have a man's night downstairs with steak and BBQ. I thought it was a quirky twist, but it was so that the girls could drink and so my darling wasn't lonely lol..........cause this night is for the girls. These chickies do so much to add richness to my life, that I'm so excited to share this night with them. I still can't believe my Bunny thought of this idea all by himself!!

I didn't jog yesterday, sometimes after a few consecutive days, I need a break. This morning I headed out early (okay it was only 9am, but that's early for me in holiday time) and took Billy-Joe to a friend's place. I'd been asked by the Lovely Lisa to spend the morning at Cotton Tree but I had to say no. Sammy's eyes were a mess, thank goodness I went to the doctor again yesterday and got the script again for his drops. I've been diligent with them today, and they are still not good. When they're really bad, they are light sensitive and spending the morning outside would not have been good for him. Even walking across the road while I did some errands, he hung onto me and shut his eyes until we were back in a store. I had some photos developed and then spat chips, because I was too busy rousing at the kids, that I didn't get all the ones enlarged that I'd intended to. I always feel under pressure on those machines, I should just take my time. The ones I had printed I was just rapt with. I've finally nailed my post processing on my mac, and the Camerhouse in town does a fantastic job. I am really happy with them and their service. I then headed over to Big W and wanted to have a look at some of the Australia Day merchandise. The kids needed new boxers and new thongs, and I thought I'd have a look at a t'shirt or something for Australia Day. Of course, I was early - and the sale doesn't really start until tomorrow, so I was only able to get little boxers which are really cute. We had a cuppa with my parents as we 'found' them. I put found in inverted commas because my parents are even more predicatble than I am (I wonder where I got it from???) so the kids even know where to look for their parked car.

I dropped into Daisys for some inspiration and a quick chat with my sweet gf. She helped me pick some papers and I added some more, and then we headed home. As I started to say in the last paragraph, I didn't jog yesterday, but I did today.

Yesterday I tried interval training, I'd run at 10km/h for 2 or 3 mins and then drop back to 6km/h for a minute. It nearly killed me! Today I decided that I would increase my speed from 8.4km/hr to 9km/hr and just jog at the same speed. I found it much easier. I was able to complete the half hour. It's like my heart rate goes up, up, up and then it slows a little once I'm in a rhythm. It's the same for my breathing, I puff a bit at the start and then it evens out too. I've got the endurance, and stamina, just not the ability to pace my breathing in interval stuff. I was pretty happy with today's effort. I know I need to get to 10km/hr for half an hour before I jog my 5km which is my goal. Actually ultimately I'd like to increase my time and get up to an hour. Now I just have to monitor my diet so that I can lose some weight again. Christmas decadence has show on me, and I need to get back into eating properly. I know when the kids go back to school that things will return to 'normal' eatingwise, but our long holiday break is really too long for me to just eat whatever. I'm not snacking anymore, no morning or afternoon tea, so that will help. I think tonight we'll have finished the divine Christmas pudding I bought at the food and wine show, so then dessert will be back to my yoghurt.

I also scrapbooked a layout today. No doubt a few new papers and some new photos spurred me on - thanks to Suzy's advice. In the last 18 months, I've not spend a lot on my scrapbooking, so my stuff is getting very low. It means I have little choice and then don't feel like doing any, because it makes it too hard. I hope to do another layout tomorrow. I'll upload my layout to my Photo a Day blog, so I've got a picture for it.

I am making Chilli Con Carne for dinner tonight. It's actually a recipe from Jamie Oliver's website, but I'll have to write it out anew, because my recipe bears no resemblance to his.....

LIfe's full of surprises

When I left Geelong over 19 years ago. I left a whole life behind. I left behind all my friends and all my contacts. Actually on deeper contemplation, I'd left them behind around the time my first marriage died. It cut all ties, because my nearest and dearest friends wanted nothing to do with me, so people I'd met on my overseas trip for example, well seeing as we weren't real close, I certainly didn't think to keep in touch with them at the time. I guess in some ways I was ashamed of my first broken marriage, and many of these associations were reminders of what once was. Dh#2 never ingratiated himself toward any of my friends, another nail in the coffin of my friendships. Funny when in the throes of early love, you don't consider that. I look back now, and realize that association was doomed on so many levels, but I was blind to all of them......anyways I digress.....

Occasionally, I'll think of someone to look up on Facebook. I have found a girl I went to school with and another who I'm sure I know, but has never responded. I've found people I 'know' from the internet too - the world is an incredibly small place. South Africa has been playing Australia in the cricket and it reminded me of Mick. We met Mick on the Contiki European Tour in 1984. Truly one of the highlights of my life that trip. I met the most fabulous people and made great friends. Mick was always with us. He was even with us when we tracked down Onkel Vikki in Vienna. Mick hooked up with one of the South African girls on our tour. She actually returned to Australia a short time after and we drove to Sydney to spend Easter with them. I still have fond memories of that weekend. Carrin's Chicken ala King and a heap of us squeezed into a tiny two bedroom unit. I saw Mick and Carrin one other time, Ricky and I called in on our way to visit Mum and Dad. Ricky still jokes about me wanting to make a quick stop in Sydney on our way from Geelong. Just a minor detour I said!

While on Facebook the other night, I looked for Mick. There was a Mick in South Africa. I sent him a message asking if he was the Mick I knew from the Contiki trip.

I felt faint and my arms had tingles in it today, when I read a message from Facebook, saying yes, I had the right Mick and he gave me his mobile phone number.

I rang him this evening. He was delighted to hear my voice. He remembered my voice and said I still sounded the same, to me he sounded more refined. He and Carrin are still married and they have four children. Their eldest is 19. I was so excited talking to him, I'm sure I blabbed and prattled on a bit.......lol.....

Life has treated him well and he sounds very happy.

I hope we can meet up one day.

The power of the internet, never fails to amaze and delight me.

It's only half past twelve, but I don't care, it's gotta be 5o'clock somewhere....

If there was a slack blogger award, I'm sure I'd win it. I haven't spent much time on the computer of late at all. I haven't edited my movies, I haven't edited my photos. I have had too many other things to do.

On Wednesday, I headed out to visit my girlfriend and ended up spending the day with her. We get along so well, and really should spent more time together, but it always seems our schedules are so full that getting together other than on a Friday night is a rarity. Hence the title of my blog. It wasn't half past twelve but shortly after 11 when Karen asked if it was too early for a glass of wine! Hell no! It's gotta be wine o'clock somewhere. Then I thought about the Alan Jackson and Jimmy Buffet song - which could have been our background music lol. We sipped on wine, ate crackers and cheese and just chilled out while the kids played. We had lunch and then spent some time on her dh's mac while I gave her a crash course in bloglines. I left after 3pm to pick up Billy-Joe who had slept over at a freind's house the night before. I couldn't believe how quickly the time had gone. Mickey and Sammy had a fabulous tie playing in Karens' kids' new cubby house - which could easily be an extension for my house lol.

Thursday, was grocery day. I did the groceries and picked out Billy-Joe's stationery and also picked up Sammy and Mickey's books.

I made a homemade pesto sauce for our dinner. It was absolutely delicious. I will have to update my recipe blog with the recipe.

Friday was a nice day, although packed full yet again. I was motivated to do lots of things, but had to restrict it to what I needed to get done. My highlight was a visit from Suzy. We spent a few hours together catching up from her holiday and just talking about all things computer. She is my Godsend when it comes to all things technical, because she's the only girl I know IRL who shares my passion for the computer, and photography.

When she left I fed the kids and did some last minute touches to my notes for my class tomorow then we ducked out to get a birthday present for a party that Mickey was attending on Saturday. I also got some boxes for the new Lego blocks and some coathangers which I desperately needed. When I got home I showered and got ready to go out to scrapbooking. It was so nice catching up with Barbi again who was very excited about the prospect of a 7 night break coming up on the Sunday. In all the years of the store, she's never had 7 consecutive days and nights off!! She so deserves it, and I hope she has a wonderful time and comes back relaxed and rejuvenated. She normally things about new ideas for the store, so it will be exciting to see what she comes back with. I stayed until just after midnight and then came home and had to have yet another attempt at fixing my powerpoint presentation for my camera class tomorrow. I think I've finally worked out that while copy and paste works with putting images in my powerpoint and is viewable on the mac, in order for it to render without the horrid red x on the computer at the store, I need to 'insert' the image and make sure it's a low res image too.

I got up in the morning and felt quite sick - always nervous before my class. I'd driven home the night before with a flat tyre. I didn't know it was flat, because it just sounded like my door wasn't shut properly. Fortunately I only live close, but I wasn't stopping to check out the outside of my car for anybody. I shone my torch on it when I got home and my heart sank when I saw the tyre deflated. Bunny tried to fix it for me so I could take myself to my class, but the wheel wouldn't budge. So by the time I got to the store, my heart was pounding!! The class went well, it was large with 7 participants. I neglected to make sure that no-one had Olympuses, so that oversight, caused me some grief as the booklet which comes in the box is as good as useless. This will not happen to me again. I would always remind people, but I just didn't think. I don't see many Olympuses in my classes and I'd just cleaned forgotten. The lady was fine about it, and she had my notes to use, and things she needed to look up when she got home. I've rung her and offered some one on one time, if she needs it - hopefully her dh is better at passing on messages than mine. I had Barbi's daughter and my niece in the class was too - which was great as they could work together. I was exhausted when I got home, I showerd and then didn't leave my recliner much for the rest of the evening. The kids had pizza for dinner, we had Noodles from the take away shop and we were in bed at 9.30pm - most unusual for us on a Saturday night.

Sunday, I headed out to the treadmill, for the first time since Tuesday. My intention of going on every day, had gone out the window. I did okay, but my breathing needs work. In the afternoon we headed out to spend the afternoon with my parents. The kids had a ball in the pool and we enjoyed a relaxing afternoon and evening chatting.

Today, I had plans of doing heaps but have been rather lazy. Well, not quite lazy, I did three loads of washing, treadmill, weights, tidied, dusted, made pizza scrolls for kids for lunch - recipe will be on blog later.

Must go and cook dinner now - and finish bringing washing in. I have to make a to do list......can't be this lazy tomorrow.

Smugness

I love holidays. I love staying in bed until 8.30am. I love getting up and having a slow breakfast while reading my emails. I love having the kids quietly playing. I love going down to the treadmill and not having to rush.

After I'd come upstairs, stretched, showered, done my hair and did a quick tidy, I headed out. I took Billy-Joe down the beach to stay at a freinds' house and then I headed along the coast to the Plaza and I picked up the DVD recorder that we decided upon, and also my new saucepan set from House. It's amazing how easy it is going to the shops with only two kids in tow and not three! Now Billy-Joe is generally my best behaved child, especially considering he's the eldest, but with him out of the picture it was just ten times easier. At one stage Sammy and Mickey played up, in House of all places. Too much crockery there - so I pulled them aside, made them each hang on to opposite sides of the trolley, and voila peace reigned again. I bought them a couple of biscuits from the Cookie Man and they were happy. I didn't want to buy them lunch, as it all adds up, and I had spent enough money, plus Barbi was coming to have coffee with me at 1pm and it was 12.40pm by the time we'd picked up the saucepans.

I had a lovely cuppa with my best friend. It's so lovely just chatting and debriefing. Even though I'm no longer involved in the business, we still share a very close connection in regards to Daisy's which is really special, and something we vowed to keep when we agreed that I leave the partnership. Barbi headed off back to the store, and in the wake of her encouraging words I decided to attempt to instal the DVD recorder myself. The funny thing is, give me a computer, peripherals, software, cameras, and to a much lesser extent a mobile phone, and I can navigate around it no worries, and have solved many a problem on my own. Unfortuately this skill has never crossed over to anything to do with TVs, VCRs, DVDs, or stereos........ I think if someone sat down and explained it to me I would probably understand, but the whole in/out thing gets me, how do you know what it goes out of and into??? What if it's out the other and in this one? Far out - too confusing to this chickie. Have I instilled you with any confidence in me at this point?? My reasoning to attempt this myself was a strong one. When we bought the last DVD recorder, we got the cable guy to instal it. $130 well spent! Saved us bucket loads of angst, stress and headache pills. When we bought the new plasma TV, we got the cable guy in again and it cost $170 to hook up the DVD recorder, VCR and Austar (cable TV) and we also had him instal a special surge protector which we'd bought but we needed extra cables for. Again money well spent. The VCR had already not been recording, but was still playing. Two nights later the kids wanted to watch a video - nada, zilch. It didn't work!! Then about a month later, the DVD wouldn't work anymore!! It started falling apart slowly, it wouldn't play certain DVDs and then it just stopped all together. Then it ended up just flashing 'loading' without ever stopping. I had solved the problem by unplugging the wretched flashing nuisance, but discovered my digital stations didn't work because they were running through the DVD!!!

The fact that an 18 month old DVD recorder had broken was one thing, and I was quietly happy that it had died, because I hated it. It would record to DVD, but was so painful and so slow that by the time I'd worked out how to record something the show was half over. I hated it!! I think it knew! I was move peeved that we had spent a large sum of money getting the whole thing hooked up and the only thing that was okay was the TV and Austar box. So, that's why I decided to hook it up myself. I really had nothing to lose. I had bought a HDMI cable, which allows you to pause the TV. How cool is that? I can hit pause watching my favourite show, while I duck off to the toilet!

I hooked it all up. Was very excited when the lights started flashing, and then sat back very smugly, while I just pushed buttons and had the thing working, playing a DVD without even opening the destruction (err instruction) booklet!! My motto has always been 'When all else fails, read the instructions'.

So when I told my darling what I'd done, he was very excited and I'd scored some more brownie points. He was so excited that when I mentioned that nice ice cream would be nice for dessert, he headed straight out after dinner and bought me some Sara Lee ice cream. I did good. I am happy, and smug. I have already recorded a movie that we've only half watched, and I only had to have a quick look at the manual. It's an awesome machine, I am impressed. It's the same brand as our Panasonic plasma TV so it has a viera link, so both items work very well together. I can even do away with one remote control and use the same one for TV and DVD player. Pausing and rewinding live TV is a huge plus too - I'm very happy. No buyer's remorse with this baby. I bought a five year extended warranty, we're not getting burnt again with an item breaking a few months out of warranty.

I did have another coup today too. My saucepans are fabulous. The set included a fry pan which I wasn't that fussed about, but since I'd been reading about the quality of steel pans, and all good chefs use stainless steel pans, they don't use non stick, I decided I would use it for my dinner. I cooked hamburgers in my scanpan and did the bacon and onion in the new one! It worked very very well. I just used a bit of peanut oil but it didn't stick and cooked fantastic. When Scanpan completely dies, I 'll buy the bigger Baccarat one. My hamburgers were the best I've ever made. I'll put a recipe here if you're interested, but I didn't take any photos - sorry. It's rather hectic making six hamburgers at once!

Shiny new Bacarrat Elite saucepans.My old ones are 23 years old and have served me well. I kept the big one which is top left in the photo. It's great for pasta.

Scanpan in the background with my hamburgers and onions and baking cooking in new pan, without sticking!!

Painting me, eeerrr I mean the hallway

We painted the lounge/dining area just before Christmas and it's really annoyed me that when you look up the hallway, it's this bright yellow, which I am totally over - and doesn't look nice with the cream against it. Bunny has gone back to work today, so who knows how long it will be before I get some jobs done around the house again. I had a to do list for him which I could have written on a toilet roll, and he managed a few things on there, but there's still a loooooooonnnnnnggg way to go. So, after being inspired by my girlfriend who painted her own feature wall, I thought how hard can it be? I had helped before, surely I can undertake this on my own.

I have one coat on and it's almost ready to paint the second. I can't cut in to save myself so bought a thingamijiggie douverlaki which paints the edges nice and neatly. Only thing was it fell apart at once stage, and landed on me - better than the carpet, but I look like you could hide me in the hallway and never find me lol...... My dh paints and gets a few specks on him, I look like a living colour chart! My plan is to have it all done and surprise him when he gets home. I will finish in enough time to clean up (my equipment and myself).

I'm feeling good today, I headed out to the treadmill and jogged for 30 mins on 8.4km/hour. My short term goal is to get to 5km within the half hour. I currently do about 4.15km so will need to increase my speed, I don't want to increase the time. When I started on the treadie all those months ago, I was on 7.7km/hr so I have increased my speed. I was increasing it by .1 each week, but the weeks where I don't go on as often set me back a bit. Like last week, I had to slow down for a min and then go back to speed because it was so hot and I was struggling a bit. Today I did the whole half hour at one speed so that was good.

I received this today, and was very surprised and touched by the gesture.

Mmmm, it's not easy picking my favourite blogs. I follow 64 of them, and enjoy them all for one reason or another.

Rules: pick 5 blogs that you love or enjoy the most and pass along the award! It's that simple!

ps. make sure you post the award on your blog!!

My must read blogs

www.aliedwards.typepad.com

http://ttmillersandboys.blogspot.com/

http://spraguelab.squarespace.com/blog/

http://melissagoodsell.typepad.com/day_to_day/

http://ms-mac.blogspot.com/

http://diet-coke-rocks.blogspot.com/

I'll try and update later with photos and I still want to write down my goals for 2009.

Recipes

I've had interest in the vegetable fritters, so I thought I'd update my forlorn recipe blog.......you can find the recipe here.

Some more pics

I haven't had my little camera as I loaned it to my friends when we went to the Food and Wine Show. I found this shot of a dragon fly which I'd forgotten I'd taken. I've also got photos of my mortar and pestle.

Tandoori Chicken made from scratch. It's a lot less red than store bought Tandoori paste, but I think I might look for another recipe because I actually prefer the taste of the store bought one.

Naan bread with yoghurt and poppy seeds

Vegetable fritters with eggplant, zucchini and broccoli. They're made on besan (ground chickpeas) flour and are very crunchy and delish. The dipping sauce, is natural yoghurt, cumin seeds, coriander, mint, garlic and chillies.

My newest kitchen gadget, my mortar and pestle

Dragonfly

Photo Post

"Are you kidding?" Mickey's reaction when he saw the Wii

Billy-Joe and his gorgeous cousins, Kiana and Julia

Aunty Ricky with his beautiful daughters.

Me and Bunny

Aunty Ricky and his beautiful wife Aunty Dee

Mum and Dad with Billy-Joe and Mickey

Bunny with Billy-Joe and Mickey

A Champagne cocktail

Trying to figure out the self timer in an attempt of a photo of all of us.

Happy New Year

It feels like ages since I've posted. I've had a few small windows of opportunity where I have spent time on the computer since before Christmas, but it's just been enough to read my emails an download my photos and videos from my cameras. I've a few blogs and commented on even less. I am a little sad now that I didn't keep a daily diary so that it would make this post more comprehensive. I often lose the details so quickly when life is so extremely busy. I may even just dot point my events, this way if it doesn't flow properly it won't be so distracting to read. So grab a cuppa before you read as it's quite long.

The days leading up to Christmas were extremely busy. Even though I'd done the shopping early enough, there was so much I wanted to achieve at home. The baking of my goodies took up quite a fair bit of time and I was getting a bit stressed as I felt I'd left it late. I found that I would create myself more work, I just had this funny feeling that when I sat still I should have been doing something so actually created myself jobs which was probably a stupid thing to do. I made too many extras. I will end up freezing half my Christmas cake and saving it for Easter, when it will be more appreciated as at this point I still have quite a bit left over, and I don't want to be eating it anymore.

*One of our big jobs was painting in the lounge and dining room. No more photoshopping out the wall above the lounge woohoo.......... It looks fantastic, and I'm thinking I'll endeavour to do some more on my own.


* Christmas Eve was just the best Christmas ever. I probably say that every year. But it was just the best fun. We all got really cool presents, and felt very spoilt. I got a video camera, which I was lucky enough to have the batteries ready to go so I have much of Christmas Eve on video. The main thing that stood out was the amount of laughter and frivolity that was coming out of all of us. Our small, humble home was filled to the brim with 11 of us, and it was really really special. Aunty Ricky and Aunty Dee came and brought the girls. They'd had a long drive down that day, and had a short rest at the motel before they got here. I made Ricky's night by giving him my 300D. He was taking photos with it and has told me it takes awesome photos. I am so pleased I gave it to him. It has served me well, and I know that he will love it as much as I did. He was over the whole shutter lag issue with his Fuji, so this was fabulous for him. I never did find out how much it would cost to fix the flash, but with my workaround, it all works fine. Bunny was rapt with his car radio/cd player. The kids were delighted with the Wii console. We had a play at it straight away, and I couldn't help but realize how much the kids have grown up, that I had bought something like that and the kids were setting it up and not me. We had a go at tennis and boxing. I overdid the boxing, and Peter said he'd never seen anyone box like that before ever!! My back and arm muscles ached so much over the next two days I had to take pain killers!! Look forward to much more fun with that game.

*The food was a hit on Christmas Eve. I will definitely do the 'cold' thing again. It was so much easier, that after a bottle of sparkling shiraz, some champagne punch and a few jelly shots I didn't have to think too much about the food. I might do a ham next year rather than the stuffed chickens. I didn't end up buying a ham this year, which I'm so glad about because we had food left over, and a huge ham would have just been painful. I still have some chicken frozen.

* Christmas Day was really nice, but I just didn't want to be there. I would love to spend Christmas Day quietly at home, but I know that 's not possible. The kids had a ball, although I had to keep a very close eye on them. The house had a pool and canal frontage, so I had to keep an extremely close watch on Sammy and Mickey as neither of them swim properly yet. They had an absolute ball. The food was beautiful and the day was relaxing otherwise. I was very happy to get home and I felt so very tired. I fixed what I'd gotten Billy-Joe for Christmas. A friend from work told me about a chip which you can get for the Nintendo DS, and then you can download games free off the internet. I had set it up for Billy-Joe, complete with games, but it wasn't working. Christmas Day evening, I worked out what was missing and then got it up and running for him. He was rapt when we got it all sorted. One thing that was extra special about this day and the next, was the amount of smses I received from my friends. I was rapt with the friends and even my MIL who remembered that Christmas Eve was our big day.

* Boxing Day I hit a wall. We spent the morning tidying and getting the house back in some semblance of order. It was so untidy, with new gifts still out and under the tree. Once lunchtime came, my Bunny just looked after me the rest of the day. I felt dreadful. I don't know if it was the anti climax or what it was. I felt miserable. I had no energy and was filled with that awful feeling of dread. You know when you have to sigh all the time, to release the adrenalin or whatever it is. I felt it come upon me a few time before Christmas and found that the treadmill really helped. I just had no energy this day for the treadmill.

* On the Saturday we went to friends' house and enjoyed a delicous Indian meal. It was a pleasant afternoon, but unfortunately ended in a huge argument that evening. It was horrible at the time, but it really cleared the air, and gave both of us the chance to really express what we were feeling. So even though it was traumatic at the time, it was very much a blessing in disguise. It was sad that the kids witnessed their father's anger toward me. I am very concious of the kids being around, and that things can so easily escalate, so I don't yell or swear. The kids, especially Billy-Joe was heartbroken and sobbed in my arms. I explained to him that adults don't always agree with each other but that we would work things out. I went in and saw him later that evening and told him all was well. He cried again and said he was so scared that something bad was going to happen. I told him we loved each other very much, but that didn't mean that we don't get upset sometimes. Thankfully arguments happen so rarely so it's not something the kids have ever really witnessed. In hindsight it was a valuable lesson for him. A lesson that showed him that conflict and then resolution is a natural part of life and especially marriage.

*This episode was the pinnacle of me feeling like crap. As you can imagine, it did nothing to improve my demeanour or the feeling of dread. My birthday was looming and I didn't want to do anything for it. I didn't want to think, or plan, or organize. Since I share that day with Sammy I can't really let that day go by without some kind of fuss.

*We decided on a BBQ for our birthdays. I didn't bake a cake, as Sammy wanted a Woolies mud cake. We bought nice meats, a pasta salad, and some nice things for nibblies. I made a yummy roast pumpkin, feta, pine nut and rocket and spinach salad which was delicous. My parents came with a birthday gift even though I wasn't expecting anything due to the beautiful gold heart pendant I receieved for Christmas. They walked in with a huge mortar and pestle and I was delighted, and couldn't believe they'd bought it for me. I promised then, that I would cook Bunny a yummy Indian dinner soon. We bought Sammy a Lego Agents - Mission 5, which he loved. Mum and Dad bought him 'Egyptology' and I got a Horrible Histories book on Egypt which Billy-Joe gave to him. We had a lovely afternoon, and I'm glad we just had something at home, rather than going to Sizzler which was one of my ideas when I was in my 'couldn't be bothered mood'.

* The next few days were where I began to relax and feel like I was in total holiday mode. The feeling of dread was gone and I was content and happy again. We headed to the beach for three days in a row which was just gorgeous. I even got my hair wet and headed out on the boogie board, much to the delight of my family. I got Bunny to buy me a new beach chair, one of those low ones so I can sit on the sand in comfort. It's really nice seeing the kids have so much fun, and having them a little bit bigger where I don't worry quite so much. We swim in between the flags these days and it's a comfort knowing there's extra eyes watching my kids too. We took time out to go and visit Peter's parents which was really nice too. My FIL had had a bowel operation done a couple of weeks before Christmas and both of us were quite shocked by how frail he looked on Christmas Day. He looked much better. I still thing he's aged dramatically in the last 12 months. He's a couple of years younger than my Dad and seems much older than him. MIL looks fabulous which is great.

*The last few days have given us a chance to chill out, to throw routine out the window and to just enjoy being together, which is how holidays should be. In some ways I like how it works in the northern hemisphere. Their Christmas holidays are very short, and their summer holidays are unhampered by all the excitement and stress of something like Christmas. Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas, but can see advantages to a totally stress free summer holiday.

* Bunny bought me a CSI game for the Wii. Billy-Joe has helped me with one case which was quite an eye opener, and made me realize how mature he's become. The game is M rated, and while I certainly wouldn't let him play it unsupervised, I was impressed with the maturity he displayed when we came across 'adult issues'. To his credit, he was neither embarassed or silly, and we just set about solving the case like two pros lol.........

* In my determination to use my new mortar and pestle, I chose some Indian recipes and set Bunny out to go 'hunting' for the ingredients. It was around 3.30pm when he headed out and by about 4.10pm, I was thinking he'd be home soon. It was almost 5pm before he came home. He'd had problems getting certain ingredients and had basically run all over town to find everything we needed. While he was gone I had the yeast dough for the naan bread proving. I made tandoori chicken, with the tandoori from scratch. I made vegetable fritters with a yoghurt dipping sauce. The sauce was delicious with cumin seeds, coriander, mint, garlic and chilli in it. I cooked rice and also made a cucumber and yoghurt side. We also had mango chutney to eat with the main meal. The feast was divine. My mortar and pestle worked a treat and I am looking forward to using it tonight as I'm making a green curry from scratch. The mortar and pestle weighs a tonne. I was cooking and I picked it up and moved it, and then lifted the bowl with the proving yeast dough for Bunny to smell and I nearly wore it on my face, as I misjudged what I was lifting lol........... The dough had a nose print in it and I was cracking up with laughter.

*Last night I went back to scrapping for the first time in two weeks. It was wonderful to catch up with my best friends again. I was spoilt rotten with more birthday presents. Karen gave me a beautiful Cheese board with two knives, one for hard and another for soft cheese. Lisa gave me a gorgeous salt caddy. It was ironic actually, as when I was at my SIL's house the other week, she told me her husband likes to use salt flakes in his cooking, so that's what I'm going to put in it. It's quite funky with bright colours in it that she knows I love - I love a thoughtful gift. Barbi gave me a beautiful desk calendar with daily Bible quites and inspirations from Max Lucade. She knows I'm slack with reading my Bible, so this is a nice way to have a daily reminder of my faith. I've never considered msyelf deeply religious, but take a lot of comfort from the Bible, when it is put in 'everyday context'. I can't keep my faith strong with things I don't understand.





Wretched blogger is such a pain sometimes. The cream walls are the 'after shots'. We've had enough of deep blue walls. We redid the feature wall the same colour. Now I'd like to replace the drapes. It's a shame these are such good quality otherwise I would have already changed them, seeing as they used to match when we had our yellow sofa.

Mickey playing with Billy-Joe's hair.

Brothers

Uncle Damian with his nephews.

Sammy with his birthday cake.

Me with my beautiful boys on our birthday.

All the kids on Christmas Day.