Work, health, eyes, shopping and dragons

I'm still busy on the website, although this week my work has been in dribs and drabs. I only had Monday and part of Tuesday where I got a solid go at it, and I've had to squeeze in the time where I could all over the place, so, not as structured as I'd like. I think I'll do some on the weekend, and then I'll feel I've done a good amount. Last week was full of hiccups and my time was wasted trouble shooting, which I don't feel good about, so in the next few weeks, I want to put in extra to make up for it. It's close to becoming live, which is exciting, but I want quite a few more patterned papers on there before we do that though. I was working on it the other morning and was blown away because there were 52 people online. It was so funny because both Barbi and I wondered if they were all hackers lol.......that's a lot of people on a site where not much is happening yet.

My week was full of interruptions because of medical appointments. My physio has been looking after me for a few years now, and on my last appointment I started to cry as I told her I was so happy she was leaving to have a baby, but sad that she could no longer look after me. I told her my pain levels are increasing and I don't know what to do. While my shoulder is better, I still suffer badly. If I spend too much time at a time working on the site, my arm aches. Even though I"m not actually typing, and I have an extremely sensitive touch pad and my arm is completely supported, my forearm carries a lot of strain and this then puts pressure on my upper arm and shoulder. Even when my shoulder eases, there are many things I really catch me unawares, or where I grit my teeth before I do the movement. Even lifting the doona over my body as I roll over causes it to aches and catch.

My pectorals ache, my forearms hurt in the trigger points, my achilles are no better. That doesn't even cover the neck pain and shoulder pain which is very often present. My physio has been crucial in my pain management. With her manipulations, massage and acupuncture, I have relief for about ten days...... While I used to believe this meant I was 'healed', I now just make the most of the lull and know with absolute certainty that my pain will return. I have tried anti inflammatories and they do nothing anymore so I have stopped taking them: no need to subject my body to them and risk any stomach damage. I depend on paracatomol and ibuprofen, generally using them together for pain relief and management.

While I realize I could easily be mistaken for a malingerer or hypochondriac, I'm heartened by Carlie's faith in me, her belief in my pain levels and her desire to help me further. She's convinced there's something systemic going on as I have too many problem areas, which are now all chronic. While my current GP is good for the normal day to day stuff, I don't feel like he has the wherewithal or even the desire to really investigate me. I want questions asked, and I'm not getting that? I need someone who is prepared to take the time to investigate me properly. Carlie recommended a very thorough GP for me to visit, and lady doctor, whom she'd had favourable dealings with and good results with other patients.

In fairness to the few other GPs I've visited in recent years, I can't lay the blame at their door. I've often addressed my issues, but it's only ever the problem that is the worst at that time. I've never gone to a doctor and asked that all my issues be addressed at once. Perhaps having worked at a surgery before, I understand, that the 'shopping list' approach by patients is often not looked upon favourably......this train of thought has probably been to my detriment.

The doctor I saw on Tuesday, was forthright, friendly, interested and showed a genuine wish to help me. From the moment I sat down I felt comfortable and didn't feel like I was whining. She asked questions I've never been asked before....... She questioned me about my depression, and I spoke of my anxiety attacks which I've been plagued with for the last three Christmases, the last one I actually sought help and was given medication which made the Yuletide Season even better than it would have been. Much nicer to not have that constant feel of dread accompanied with a racing heart. I wanted to feel in my body like I felt in my head. Calm, organized and happy. At first the doctor said it might be worth considering I see a psychologist as depression is so often tied in with inflammatory problems such as she suggested I may have. The diagnoses she presented as possibilities were Seronegative Arthritis and Fibromyalgia Rheumatica. The doctor suggested I read up on both of those. On reading, I found that the once mysterious fibromyalgia which was often a euphemism for a malingering lazy sod.....(in my opinion - gathered from reading and how this was viewed by others) was now proven to have a basis in medical fact. Inflammation does exist and is the cause of this illness. This coupled with my depression is possibly the root of my pain. As this never goes away, there are just degrees of pain, it gets better, but never completely goes away and the intensity when it's worse also varies.

On the psychological front I will consult a psychologist, I'm a cynic and dubious as to how this will work, but realize that this will work hand in hand with all my treatment. I understand I need a holistic approach. Added to this I am changing my anti depressants. I am nearing the end of my 'wash out' of my current meds, and apart from barely sleeping, and bad dreams I'm feeling okay. The interesting and more unpleasant phase will begin when I start my new medication on Monday. My saving grace this time, is that I don't have a toddler and a baby to contend with while I'm feeling dead on my feet from fatigue and ill from the meds, with headaches and nausea. I will be able to lie down and take things easy. On the physical side of things, I will have a blood test done and then we can go from there. My ESR is always elevated, and I know this is a result of inflammation in the body. I will be curious how that result is.

I feel good about this direction, and I have faith in my new GP.

I had my eyes checked during the week too. My prescription has changed slightly so I need new glasses and I'm investigating getting contact lenses. I went there 7 times this week. Once for my appointment and then six times to have a trial pair of lenses in and out. So far I've not worn a pair where I can see properly, but the optometrist hasn't given up. Those 7 visits meant my Daisy work was all over the place.

By Friday, I needed a break. No appointments, no housework, no work. I spent the day with one of my closest friends and we whiled away the time. We drank coffee, shopped in Myer, had a delicious lunch at the Turkish Restaurant, and planned our trip to the movies for the next day. I also looked at glasses frames, and enjoyed having Suzy tell me what she thought. In years past I've bought them with my Mum, but have chosen the last two pairs on my own. It's always nice having a second opinion. I saw some gorgoeus frames, with of course an equally gorgeous price tag.... Why can't I like cheap crappy stuff????

Scrapping last night was lovely as always. I enjoy spending time with Barbi and Karen. Barbi and I debrief after the week and it's my precious catch up time with Karen. It's wonderful how a few hours where you're not anything other than being yourself, (you're not a Mum, wife, house cleaner, organizer of all things, just yourself).... can make you feel rejuvenated and a little stronger for the next week ahead. We talk about a wide range of things, from the flippant and funny, to the deep, dark and worrisome. A sanctuary of friendship that offers a haven of love, advice and support. A powerful combination.

I came home last night, late as per usual. I was about to crawl into bed when I noticed lots of black 'dots' all over my wall............ The corner of my room right near my bed was covered in hundreds of baby spiders. (Huntsmen, my dear Bunny tells me this afternoon!!) I sprayed them, couldn't vacuum them up because of the late hour and just crawled into my bed. 2.30am and I was still wide awake, listening to my audiobook, no where near the land of nod! A little while later the tell tale beeping of a fire alarm, meant I had to go and get a chair and dismantle the fire alarm, so that peace was restored...... I got to sleep around 4am. Once the boys left for golf, I slept a little deeper, but this was riddled with horrid dreams, and the same dream over and over. I was dreaming that I was trying to sleep, and my house was being broken into. My house was being robbed and I was so afraid for my MacBook. By the time I got up I was happy to see that it was bright and cloudless outside and my house was safe, as was my MacBook.

I arrived at the Plaza a little earlier than needed so I could ply myself with a good strong coffee. Suzy had a headache, so we were a fine pair, and were looking forward to spending a relaxing time together, yet again. We saw 'The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo'. The movie was awesome. Not only did I enjoy the story and how well it emulated the book, I loved the 'realness' of it. The non Hollywood feel for the movie, gave it even more credibility. Can't wait to see the next two movies. We ate some sushi after the movie, and then went our separate ways. I I went to the Spectacles Superstore, which was a tragic misnomer of a business. Not only was there nothing super about this tiny store, it was closed, on a Saturday afternoon on the coast, woeful when you think there are many optometrist chains open all over the coast on the weekend.

I've been home for a while now, I've cleaned the bathroom, done some washing, put up a tent, vacuumed up dead spiders and have spent the last hour doing my blog entry, rather than the Daisy work I'd considered doing....... That can be done tomorrow.

I've bought some lamb cutlets for dinner and I'm making a tabouleh as well. I've got some yummy fresh avos and I'm trying to figure out how to add them in.....

Love, loss, faith and friendship

As the helplessness threatens to drag me down, my faith lifts me up. I have a couple of friends, who I count amongst my closest who are suffering deeply at the moment. One has lost a family member in an untimely manner and another is going through a separation at a time when her health is not the best.

I have the propensity for taking another's sadness onboard, which in turn creates stress and heartache for me. Someone I care about hurts, then so do I. It's the natural order of friendship. That's when my faith helps me. I take comfort, that my control freak abilities, are of no use here what so ever! I can't take away the hurt, I can't 'make things better'. I know when I'm beaten and when it's time to hand over to God. I also take comfort knowing that he watches over my friends, and that they can and do call on Him.

I pray that You bring them peace and comfort. I pray they can sleep well and that they are easy on themselves. I pray that the nights aren't haunted. I pray that they're days will have lots of love and laughter so that the sad moments are easier to bear. Amen.

Stieg Larsson - The Millenium Trilogy

I have just finished the second book in this trilogy. I found 'The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo' slow going at first but am pleased that I persevered. The second book 'The Girl who Played with Fire', was a fantastic book, I was unable to put it down. I'd downloaded it in ebook format and read for most of the afternoons on the weekend. I was most upset, when for some reason the last part of the ebook was missing!!! I spent about two hours trying to find it to download it again. I downloaded the audiobook version and had to leave it overnight. Unfortunately the recording was not complete and when I synced my iPhone in the morning, only a third of the book was on my iPhone!! I tried to purchase the book then, via various ebook sites, but it's geographically restricted. In the end I bought the book so I could listen to the last part. I'm so glad I did, it was gripping.

Lisbeth Salander is a brilliant young woman, whose never been acknowledged for her many skills. She's created an insular being out of her self. She has no use for others, has no knowledge of how to cultivate a friendship, or how to live a normal life. As the books go on, you learn why she is how she is, and I just kept marvelling at her brilliance. Her survival skills and clever planning are nearly her undoing though, and the ending of the second book was riveting. In the first book she becomes an unlikely researcher for Mikael Blomkvist, a journalist. He features in both books, and even though they don't even speak to one another in the second book, their bond is unbreakable.

I'm so excited that the first book is released this week. I will go and see it, and I can't wait.

No other news. Everyone here is fine. Sammy had a great time at camp. He coped well with the different routine and was very happy while away. His asthma was better by the time he came home, so no dramas there. Everyone is well and looking forward to the Easter break. This term has gone very quickly.

Monday Morning

I've been on the hunt for a new blogging program. I've used MacJournal, which is great, but doesn't support uploading images to Blogger. I've also tried Journler, but it doesn't support image uploads either. I've tried Ecto and it crashed. Picasa uploads photos successfully to Blogger, but only four at a time, which is annoying sometimes. Now I'm trialling Blogo, it uploads images fine, and resizes them too which is great. I hope the new iPhoto will support image uploads.

Izzy went to the vet this morning for her second round of vaccinations. In two weeks she'll be neutered. Sammy went to the GP, his asthma has flared up and is quite worrying. It's still not something I've come completely to grips with. Asthma is one of those things that many people become complacent about and are also basically ignorant about, probably because it's so prevalent amongst kids. The bottom line is Asthma is unpredictable and a killer!! Certainly not to be taken lightly or without the correct treatment. Sammy is going to his first camp on Wednesday and I want him to be as well as can be, and to have his asthma plan all up to date, in the event that something happens. Thankfully they're in civilization and close to medical facilities.

Actually one thing I really like about this program is that you can drag and drop pics - very helpful. I've got some Daisy work done today, not as much as I'd like to though. Being out with appointments this morning put the kibosh on that.

I am really enjoying reading and listening to audiobooks at the moment. I'm into reading Harlan Coben as recommended by my good friend Sheree. I'm also reading the millennium series by Stieg Larsson at the moment. I am trying to get my Dad into audiobooks, but unfortunately my purchased ones don't work on his computer.

More pics

Have a moment to update some more before my parents come for lunch. Lunch is roast pork, sauerkraut, dumplings and apple sauce, with an apfel strudel with cream and ice cream for dessert. Should be delicious. Mum makes the sauerkraut, it's a combined thing normally, and I've made three strudels. The roast is in the oven and smells divine. I've filled it full of garlic and rosemary last night. I hate the smell of garlic in the morning as much as I love the taste of it with a meal........makes me feel ill. So I'm pleased I did it last night. I slept in this morning and had a slow start which was lovely.

The above layout is a template by Karla Dudley, (I think)....... the photos are of a birthday party Mickey was invited to. I've had it open and unfinished for two weeks in PSE. I stil don't think it's finished. Not sure what else to add though. Love the clean lines of it and the colours. I'm doing heaps with turquoise, aquas, greens and blues of late, I just love it. I'm feeling the urge to play with a little pink too, so will make some pink cards I think.

On the weight loss front, I've lost enough that I no longer feel gross, but still nowhere near where I want to be. I'm not journalling and watching every mouthful.....

Parents are here...back later.

A pictorial update

My Mermaid cards

Birthday Anya - The Greeting Farm stamp

Some gift tags I made

A card I made I'm not all that happy with.

I just love these mermaid cards, they're completely card lifted and I've used The Greeting Farm, stamp. I love these stamps, love their anime like cuteness and they're perfect for use with Copic markers.

Apologies for the higgeldypigeldyness of my photos. Blogger doesn't make it easy to upload several photos. I've got more but have guests coming for lunch so had better hop to it!!

Update

* I could quite easily update my blog every single day. I have the time, just generally not the inclination.

Weight loss is travelling along well. I've lost around 3kgs. Not being too pedantic with the scales and I'm not tracking my food. I eat no morning or afternoon tea unless it's fruit, and I'm eating less at dinner time. On my last check up at the doctor, all my blood test results were good, including BP.

* I’m frustrated because I can't exercise. I tried for three weeks but my achilles has just worsened again. Not sure what to do next. It seems I get about 10 days coverage after I've been to the physiotherapist and then worsens after that. I just can’t afford weekly treatment...... I’ve read lots about it, and I’m doing all the right things, but wish I could have more massage therapy.

* Izzy was very sick two weeks ago. $220 later, antibiotics and even an overnight stay at the vet's and she's all good now. Thank goodness. I was very worried about her. I’m taking her for her vaccinations today, then I’ll let her outside again. She’s desperate to go out and explore and it’s getting harder every day to keep her inside.

* I went on retreat last weekend, which was great fun. I was soooooo tired afterwards, I swear it gets harder at every one, and I didn't even stay as late as I normally do. Sat next to Suzy all weekend, and enjoyed the company immensely. Got to see Alaine and Sheree from Brisbane which was a highlight. I don't see them nearly often enough and love catching up with them. I wished we lived closer to one another. It's a special friendship which I am sure would deepen if we were closer. One of my closest friends, whom I'd dearly love to spend more time with, couldn't be there. We're only at a retreat together once a year....... :( I missed her and wished she'd been with us, especially when we were laughing hard ........Karen would have just cracked up, and made me laugh all the more. I can control myself in a situation, but when someone close to me laughs I just lose it. At one point I'd recovered from laughing at someone, and Suzy was laughing quietly with her head down, and my resolve just disappeared lol......the mirth bubbles up inside me and just spills over. Nothing like laughter!

I am beginning to use my Copics better, it definitely is practise. The stamps from the Greeting Farm are just gorgeous. I've bought one digi one and two rubber ones. I've found a few new blogs to inspire me, and it's cool exploring new techniques.

* I have digi scrapping that I want to do. My photos come up as my screensaver and remind me of the stories I still need to tell. I pulled out one of my albums the other day and fell in love with the stories and the photos. It doesn't matter if I don't paper scrap, but I need to do something and the stories need telling and the photos need documenting. My plan is to go through my pics, and create a workflow, from editing to final layout.

* Both my parents got the all clear recently after medical check-ups were instigated after suspicious symptoms. A wonderful relief to us all. I know they’re getting older, and I’ll keep praying that illnesses stay away. They are planning on going up north to visit Ricky and Dee, and to explore a bit too. It will be good for them. They are waiting for the cooler weather. This summer has been a hot one, and I know I am not alone looking forward to the cooler months.

* I have been listening to all the Michael Connelly novels and am deeply immersed in 9 Dragons at the moment. They’re great books, not generally bedtime fare as they’re murder/mystrey but I just love reading them and I love the main character. I’m really sad though as I’m up to his second last book. I’ve got one more to listen to and then I’ll be waiting for his new release this year. Harry Bosch, is the main character a Detective working for the LAPD. He’s in his 50’s, so I don’t know for how much longer Michael Connelly can keep using him. The previous book I read was called ‘Brass Verdict’ it was centred around Mickey Haller, with only appearances by Harry, and I enjoyed it must as much, so when Harry retires, I’ll still remain a fan of the author.

* I have been working hard trying to get Daisy's up to par. Slowly but surely I'm beginning to be more comfortable with Joomla. I can even add menus now, which sounds simple but not so when you're teaching yourself. Can't wait to see the store actually working as I'm desperate to know if I've set it up right.

* I know I’ve got more to add, but it escapes me at the moment. Best upload this, and hope it’s not too long between posts again.

Lose Weight

I was going to post this on another blog. I had a weight loss blog two years ago, which I kept fairly low key. Reading over old posts though, I see my knack for digression was rampant. I rarely stayed on the topic of the blog, so I've decided to post on here this time round. I lost weight in 2008, and promptly put it all back on over last year. After Christmas of 2008, I never went back to eating as I had, and the exercise regime fell away too.

I wrote down some notes in bed last night on my iPhone, and I've reviewed and revised them today after reading my food/exercise journal which I kept in 2008.

Lose weight
6 kilograms to fit in jeans for winter

Plan for Success and be prepared for challenges.

Challenges
Fri nights @ Daisys, Have chicken and cashews
No frappés
(Thai food is ok, I'll just cut out the rice and won't have the curry puffs which we've had occasionally and no KFC, or, if we have KFC, no chips.

Saturday nights - a night where I generally cook something nice, if I eat sensibly all week, I can have something yummy on Saturday night.
Steak or lamb chops, char grilled vegies, polenta, Osso Bucco, curries made on lite evap milk, Many of the things I cook, I can still eat on a Saturday night.

Weekdays
Stir fry. No rice for me
Salsa chicken
Meat and salad
Quiche
Fish
Poached chicken tosses through salad
Porcupines
Soups

Weekday meals don't have to change drastically either, which is good.


Thursday
Pita pizza
Steak sandwich no pommes
Smoked chicken and pasta or salad
Stay away from home made pizza with cheese, I could make our smoked salmon pizza...and it won't hurt Peter to eat less pepperoni and bacon.

No wine mon tue wed and fri or just one small glass instead of two small glasses.

I want to not eat morning and afternoon tea, unless it's a piece of fruit, then I can allow a small wine at night. I'd rather a glass of wine than morning or afternoon tea.

Exercise
Walk 20 mins everyday - go downstairs at 2.15pm. On Sat go down in am. Sunday go down after breakfast. My calf is still giving me a lot of trouble, both are but the left is worse. I've booked in to see my physio again. 20 mins today on the treadmill was agony. I walked heaps in 2008 even though my hip was so bad. I'd take pain killers beforehand. I'm sure the exercise is better than none at all.

Things to ponder.
I control food. It doesn't control me.
I am strong and determined.
I know I'm a health risk with being fat around my waist.
I'll feel better in as little as four weeks.
My anxiety attacks will ease.
I need to fit into my jeans, and I'd like to buy another pair for this winter, and I'm not going up a size.
I won't look so matronly.
Feeling guilty about being overweight is a much worse feeling than saying 'no' to a bad choice of food.

Tips for better choices
If peckish in the morning eat fruit
In the afternoon. Have pepsi and rice crackers.
Don't eat if I'm not hungry - nothing says I need to eat on the stroke of midday!! Something I do during the week, but am much more flexible with on a weekend.
Make sure my portions aren't huge. They should be much smaller than Peter's, not just a bit smaller.

Okay, so now it's out there. Making the decision is making me feel empowered. It really takes much more energy to whinge and whine and feel miserable about being fat than it does to do something positive. I've got a plan, and I know it's workable. I've done it before. I need to have a strategy in place when it gets toward Christmas though.

I'm not sure if I'm going to weigh myself religiously. I'll know on my clothing anway........

Niave

I had a very sheltered upbringing, a life with a brother and two parents who all loved and respected one another. We grew up with manners, and consideration and courtesy. We grew up surrounded by love and we were always well cared for. We had good food and were always taken on holidays. We enjoyed fun times with our family and friends.

I was well into adulthood, possibly even my late 20s before I realized the extent of evil that was in the world.

Watching Dr Phil today has just made me feel ill. It was of a family, or rather a man who molested an 8 year old girl, who later became his wife. She then gave birth to 11 children, the first at the age of 15. Her daughters were told they would be surrogate mothers, and one daughter bore two children to her father. The man, (I can't bring myself to call him a father) abused all his children and had sex with his daughters from when they were 8 or 9 years of age. The girls didn't go to school, and were prevented from talking to one another. They were not allowed to talk to their mother. The man ended up murdering 9 of the children, including the two he fathered to his daughter. He's in jail for 102 years...........while his family is trying to rebuild themselves. The mother was as much a victim as the children. She was 8 when he first molested her, she never went to school and had no skills to protect her own children. The guilt she suffers is overwhelming. Tomorrow the boys will be on the TV, I don't think I'll watch it. I don't know if I can watch another episode looking into those sad and haunted eyes. Actually I think the women will get through this better than the sons, there's a strength that you can see.

Then, to top it off, Oprah has a woman on her show, who has had her face shot off from her husband. She's had a face transplant, the first full transplant in the US, and the biggest face transplant in the world.

Evil.
Evil perpetrated under the guise of a husband or a father.......
Shattered lives,
Like a phoenix from the ashes
Rises, strength and determination.

I think sometimes we take for granted all the good that is in our lives. It's too easy to bemoan the fact that we want things, or we want more money, or a bigger house, or a nicer car.....

I have soooooo much to be grateful for. I think and give thanks for these things every single day.

*I have a hard working husband, a man who loves me and respects me and supports me in everything I do.
*My children are healthy, beautiful, strong and full of spunk
*My parents are much loved and in my life
* I have gorgoeus tiny little cottage, that we can afford
*I drive an old car, which doesn't break down
*I have great friends, they respect me, laugh and cry with me, they support me, and listen to me.
*Apart from some health issues, I'm healthy, and what I have I am managing
*I am comfortable and safe in my home
*I am free to come and go as I please
*I'm not told who to befriend, who to talk to, what to spend, when to come home, I do everything I wish because my judgement and actions are respected
*My children respect and love me


There are more things, but after seeing all the sadness that some people have to endure......I had to count my blessings.

Apple launches iPad

Over the last twelve months, the rumours have been rife as to what Apple will come up with. Stories have abounded on the net with regard to the 'new Apple Tablet'. What will they produce? How good will it be? How cool that it will rival the Kindle!

Yesterday, Apple announced their new product the iPad which is due for release in the next few months. Within moments of the launch, and for the next several hours, tech geeks and tech bloggers everywhere were quick to post their first impressions. A great resource when you're not willing to get up at 3.30am to watch the live streaming of the launch lol.......

However, I am disappointed with the naysayers..... I wonder if these were the same folk who rubbished the iPod and then again the iPhone? Somehow I think Apple's marketing will quash these doomsayers yet again!

The iPad for all intense and purposes looks like a larger iPod Touch, with many of the same capabilities. It will access the internet via wifi or with a mobile broadband USB. Like all 1st Gen products, this has so much room to grow. Capabilities for in the classroom, photo manipulation and lots of other wonderful possibilities with the touch screen are on the horizon. These products aren't launched without foresight. Apple knows where it's going, and we're just left to ponder, (or criticize whatever your inclination!).

Below is my post on a forum. I rarely post on geek forums, sometimes to ask questions, sometimes to answer them, but I rarely post an opinion. Below is what I wrote in reply to someone who was quick to point out the iPad's shortcomings. I was very interested to read that all the other positive comments like mine were from the women of the group.

I believe the iPad is aimed at a market not currently tapped. This device will suit people, who have not entered into the Apple arena as yet. For example, people who want an e reader, but wish to try an Apple product, may well be tempted to go this way. Just as the iPod Shuffle 'caught' people into the Apple web, I believe the iPad will capture the netbook/e reader market.

I have an iPhone, MacBook and an iMac, and have absolutely no use for an iPad, but I don't for one minute think that Apple doesn't know what they're doing. While this device doesn't suit my needs, I'm reluctant to join the chorus of people hasty to dismiss it's niche in the current market.

I believe the proof is in the pudding. Wait and see what happens with this product in the next twelve months. I think people will be surprised. Those in Geeksville anyway!

Things I've achieved

I'm following along on A Creative Challenge and have listed some things I'd like to achieve this year.

I've already started to roll a few things in motion and I'm glad I've got the focus and am trying for it to snow ball. I have scrapped quite a bit in the last few weeks, not loads but much more than I've done of late. My Copic marker collection has grown substantially thanks to some birthday $$$ and I'm playing and learning more about those. I forgot to mention in my 2010 goals, that I wanted to finish all the digi classes I've bought too. I love the self paced classes and bought them on sale, and am a little sad that I didn't do much over the holidays. Where oh where did those 7 weeks go?

This week's task on A Creative Challenge is to brag about things you've achieved. I like this because I am so hard on myself, and often feel 'not good enough'. I know no-one out there is judge and jury, and that it's all in my head, but I want to shift that way of thinking. Plus there's always the not so good things in one's life and I need to try to push them aside. They were all so long ago, but I wish my memory was as foggy of those things as it is with many others........maybe the clarity is there for a reason. The good Lord has ensured I will never repeat my old mistakes. I always was one who learned the hard way, but I did learn. I know there are many many people who just keep making the same mistakes over and over............

* Landed a job straight out of school (thanks to my Dad asking at the local health insurance company) The girl he asked is a Facebook friend of mine these days......and I've not seen her in over 25 years.

* Travelled overseas when I was with my first husband. I was so game back then, and walked around London on my own, and travelled on the underground on my own. I felt quite comfortable finding my way around and wasn't scared at all. I even did a bit of searching to find my Uncle in Vienna even though we were only dropping in a few weeks before our real scheduled visit. We befriended our bus driver, who was moving on to driving the bus at the Munich Oktoberfest Contiki Tour. He told us it was very unstructured and that if we just showed up, they wouldn't know we weren't supposed to be there. So for a few days we had a free tent to sleep in, and a free shuttle bus to the Oktoberfest.

* I'm proud that I left my first husband, permanently at the third try, I was so misrable. Just a shame I left him for someone else, and didn't try things on my own. Ah well, live and learn.

* When things all went pear shaped with ds#3 I'm so pleased that I moved up here to be with my family. I have missed Geelong for many many years, but have never regretted moving up here.

* Even after my back surgery, and being far from recovered, I went and moved away. I had no money, but the support of my parents and the love and support of my new partner. Thanks to Peter I was able to live in Hervey Bay in a gorgeous two bedroomed unit. We often reminisce about how little money we had. He would sometimes send me $5 in the post and that was enough for a stubby and a packet of cigarettes....... My books were paid for and I had food, albeit simple things like peanut butter, cheese, bread and two minute noodles.....on the weekends I always cooked a good meal and enjoyed my time with Peter. Every weekend was like honeymoon time, it was pretty special and I'll never forget what he sacrificed for me. He moved in with his parents so he could afford to help me study and eat......my austudy only covered my rent. This time away from family, taught me that I could do quite well on my own. Being the oldest person in my class, I was the Mother Hen figure and I loved helping out my friends. My work was always done in a timely manner and I would always help type out assignments of my friends. We had a ball in Hervey Bay.

* Maintaining a part time job and studying in Brisbane when I moved back to the coast for my next two years at uni. In my final year of uni, I was doing another degree externally, although I never did finish that one, the maths in the Applied Science degree was beyond me......

* Having a good enough result in my marks and interview that I landed a permanent position. Now that's something most teachers who graduate can't claim, not in this state anyway.

* The birth of my children. What can I say? They have forever changed who I am. I am a better person for having my children. They've given me joy and love that is beyond measure. The difficult early years have given me an appreciation for life that I can't explain. I love that I've given my parents beautiful grand children. I love that my children are a living symbol of the love and life that Peter and I share. I love watching them grow and develop into amazing people. I love that God gave me the job of being their mother. Because of my children, I have also begun to nurture myself more. I appreciate and maintain my friendships better. My love for my children has led me to scrapbooking and given me the impetus to explore and understand photography.

* Being a partner in a business. Starting Daisy Chain Scrapbooks with Barbi. After 8 years I'm involved in the store more than I've been in the intervening years and I'm excited about that.

And all this stuff, doesn't even address all that I'm grateful for. My life is truly truly blessed and for that I'm eternally grateful!

I scrapped

I am very happy with myself. I scrapped yet again. Ali Edwards, one of my most favourite bloggers, is running a week long item on digital scrapbooking. I was interested in reading it, it's always good to pick up some extra tips. I was pretty happy that she gave away a free template today too, and, in my bid to scrap the everyday, I did a layout straight away. It's very very simple, but I've told a story and I am happy with that. I have quite a few layouts running around in my head, so I feel good about that.

The week has quickly come to an end. The last full week of kids home on holidays. I am very sad to see it end. It's been great. This weekend will be fun, and on Tuesday Mum and Dad will come and join us four our annual Australia Day festivities. I've got my menu organized and am looking forward to a lovely day celebrating this wonderful country of ours.

Last week of holidays

Supplies, Kit by Karla Dudley, date stamp(January) K Pertiet, BG paper, can't remember....

I'm always a bit slow on the uptake with things. It takes me a while to get my act into gear, to really focus and plan what I'm doing. The whole project 365 started last year, and, while I loved the idea, taking photos every single day and recording our daily lives, I made it to about day 2 lol....... While I am not putting myself under that kind of pressure, I'm really going to try to photograph more of the everyday stuff. I love photos of food, I don't have the equipment or the time to set it up properly but I'll do my best. The above layout is my home made pizza which the whole family loves.

We've just been in town. Am very happy I got six pairs of leather shoes for $190. The kids were well behaved, so we had a very late morning tea at Donut King, and even met Julia and she sat with us while she had her lunch. We thought it was going to be really busy (with all mothers leaving back to school stuff at the last minute lol).....but we were lucky, just drove into a park.

Billy-Joe bought a deck of UNO carsds, so we're going to have a few games. Pizza chicken for dinner tonight. One day this week I might buy some nice ham and we can have a salad for dinner. It's so hot this week, perfect salad weather.

Relaxed days

Kids home, peacefully playing, Mummy enjoying them, enjoying husband, enjoying keeping house, enjoying life!

Playing on the computer this afternoon.......

This image captures all that is pure.

A Year in Review

A good week so far. I scrapped one layout. Template is from Designer Digitals. Papers are from other places lol.......(I now know why I don't upload layouts onto message boards, it's hard enough to scrap without keeping track of what everything is.....) You realize how quickly a year goes by when you do a year in review.

It's been hot this week. I've not had the a/c on all week, but I think I might cave now, the afternoons are of course always worse. Kids have had a great time at golf so far. I've done some Daisy work, scrapped. I had to have a nap today, not always a good idea, during the day, I think it's the heat. I haven't been on my Wii fit all week :(

I still want to organize my scrapping stuff this week and declutter some more.

Fun times of 2009

* My birthday dinner that was catered by Laurent

* All the Daisy retreats, including the card maker's one in October

* The kids playing and getting along

* Dinner at my parents house with all of us present

* Mothers Day

* Kids playing golf, and doing well

* My nieces old enough to come and visit on their own

* Book Week, only because I love how cute my kids look, not because I love the whole costume thing.

* Rainbow Beach

* Meeting my cousin Sara for the first time

* Christmas

A quiet week ahead

The kids are at a golf clinic all this week. I'm quite excited about the possibilities. I plan to do some more work on Daisy's site, and even fit in some digi scrapping. It will give me time to declutter too. I've done under Sammy's beds. The under the bed boxes are empty, so I may be able to reorganize somewhere else now, to utilize that space. I'll have time to catch up with my parents, and have another Thermomix demo to go to. I went to a Tupperware party yesterday. It was a lovely afternoon, seeing as it was held by one of my closest friends who prepared the most delicious food (all in her Thermomix) I bought some more plastic plates to replace the old faithfuls I've had for years. I'll keep them for picnic plates, but not for upstairs anymore. The kids used them as their first dinner plates, so the knives have left scratches in them. The new plates will only be used for sandwiches and snacks, so will stay nice. I wanted new plastic tumblers too, but can't afford them at the moment. I know Tupperware is expensive, but it's good stuff. Many of my pantry pieces are well over 20 years old. I've decided when I've got some money to spare, I can revamp my pantry, by replacing the lids. The new Chilli colour is vibrant and would suit my kitchen well too.

On Saturday I had time to play with my Copic markers. Billy-Joe is enjoying them too, so I'm doubly glad I've got them. Can't wait to have more colours. Karen and I are having a ball building up our collecting, talking about papers, youtube videos and ideas. Lots of good fun, and much easier than what the scrapbooking has been. My card collection is actually quite low, so I need to hook in and make some more. I hand made the cards for Mickey's birthday party on Saturday - it was for two of his friends. One card I already had, but I made another on Fri night using my markers....I realize now I should have photographed it.

The kids are having a ball on holidays. I'm going to miss them this week. I love hearing their laughter, and seeing them together and happy. Family Bliss! Nothing else like it.

I scrapped

I had a fabulous day today. And a very productive one too. In the morning Suzy came and brought her kidlets around. Bailey has an undiagnosed cat allergy and she wanted to see how he reacted. They spent two hours here. Suzy and I chatted. The boys played on their DSs and on Mario Kart, while Lily enjoyed playing with Izzy. So much so, that when she was told they were going home, Lilly had Izzy draped her arm. It was so funny. That kitten is amazing, she played with Lily the entire time and never got cranky, never scratched, never bit. Kittens can often scratch by accident, let alone when they're constantly picked up and not left alone. Izzy slept for four and a half hours after Lily left. I think after the attention we've given her, someone else's child is a walk in the park lol.... Very nice to know she's kid friendly. Bailey wasn't too interested in her. For the sake of our experiment, we had him pat her...... we were quite excited that he never had a watery eye or a single sneeze. I hope he stayed that way.

After Suzy left, we had lunch and I spent until well after four working on the website. I prepared a Carbonara for dinner which was just delicious, and also made a salad. In the early evening I started a digital layout and updated my blog with my goals for this year.

Thank goodness no one follows my blog because of my digi scrapping. For a start I don't do enough, and secondly I never remember whose stuff I use........

The journalling reads as follows

Every year I struggle with Book Week Parade. I’m so glad that Peter always helps me out and has some good ideas. He’s supportive and I can count on him to get any accessories I need. The reward is just the delight in my children’s eyes. This year, Sammy went as an Egyptian God, (Of course) and Mickey’s theme was an aboriginal one, and we were lucky and had a t’shirt with aboriginal art on it.

I am endeavouring to be more structured and goal oriented in my life. I know I need a map to get there, so I've signed up with Donna Lingard on A Creative Challenge.

Below are her exercises for Week 1. I don't even know if I can answer some of these. My life seems so simple.........okay, here goes.

1. Magic Moments of 2009

What were some of your Magic Moments?

Talking to Sammy about things which really bother him.

Watching the kids play golf.

Having some great fun nights with my husband.

Spending more times with my girlfriends

Tasting some fabulous wines

Eating some divine food which I cooked.

Falling in love with audiobooks

What was extraordinary in your life?

That my kids are growing up and things are getting easier

Amazing accomplishments?

Not sure about amazing...

Learned how to use Leopard (and Snow Leopard) really well

Adapted to using a MacBook

Read more in depth about my camera and am using more settings

Actually watched an entire two series of a show I was really interested in

Important decisions you made?

To ge gentle on myself, things don't have to be perfect all the time

To concentrate on my debt and reduce it to suit my reduced work hours

Exciting experiences you had?

Visiting Rainbow Beach for the first time, and staying in a nice big house

Food and Wine Show in Brisbane staying at the Mantra

I've kept my goal of a fairly personal nature. I will always give my best to my children and husband and that's always a given. These goals are for my own personal well being and my own sense of growth. I know that looking after myself only turns me into a better wife, mother and all round person. The more I give myself the more I have to offer.

2. Goal Setting Time

20 quick goals These are the very first ideas that come to mind

Scrap more. Digi or paper

Make more cards

Learn how to use Copics

Buy more Copics

Exercise regularly

Do Wii Fit Plus regularly

Play Wii with the kids frequently (and beat them!!)

Take more photos

Lose Weight

Blog/journal more regularly

Try to set more goals

Become more ambitious

Go to the movies more

Try more new recipes

Get rid of more crap and organize belongings better, eg with Ikea wardrobe stuff etc.

Learn Joomla

20 goals dreaming without limits

Go on a cruise

Go overseas often

Eat out regularly

Own a Honda

Pay for my kids to go to university

A bigger house

Take cooking lessons

Actually have my whole house matching and in the same state of repair/age

All walls painted

20 goals for 20 years look way into the future

3. Top 10 Goals for Twenty Ten

Learn how to use Copics

Lose weight and exercise regularly

Scrapbook more

Take more photos

Get Daisy's website to where it could be and keep it evolving.

Spend more time with family

Play more with the kids, the Wii is awesome for that

Organize wardrobes in all bedrooms.

Buy Billy-Joe a new bed

Paint rooms

I need three more goals. I'll have to think about them.

Welcome 2010

Didn't seem all that long ago, I was lying in a hospital bed, watching the fireworks over the GABBA while my baby boy lie in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at RBH. The fireworks were hailing the arrival of the new millenium. Now that baby boy is ten years old.

Sammy and I celebrated our birthdays a few days ago, and we had a fabulous day. Bunny and I decided that a new kitten would be a good idea, and we welcomed Izzy into our family. She is just an absolute delight and we all love her very much already. We had a talk with the kids, and explained that we couldn't replace Charlie, nor could we bring her back. Sammy wanted another Charlie. I'm sure he thought we could somehow replicate her. He misses her very much. Billy-Joe and I went and picked her up. We walked inside, Billy-Joe made Sammy sit on the couch and covered his eyes. We placed the new cat basket on his lap and the kitten inside it. His reaction when he opened his eyes was just beautiful. He couldn't believe it. He said he was having a beautiful dream and that she was just gorgeous. He even sat while he was having afternoon tea pinching himself to see if he was indeed awake.

She's been very good. She's already housetrained, and is no trouble at night time. I go to bed and leave my door open longer than normal just in case she cries and she's been great. She usually goes into the kids' rooms in the morning to say hello. She's settled in very quickly. Peter and I like it when the kids go to bed because then we can cuddle her lol......

The New Year is here. Full of possibilities, that's the fanciful and possibly unrealistic outlook....we're planning on more of the same. Bunny working huge hours. Money always needing to be watched, but bills paid and good food on the table, our annual holiday, fun times with family. On a personal front. I'm not sure. I know I need to get some weight off again. That's a lament that's boring me to tears, but unfortunately is necessary. Not sure what tack I'll take. I thought exercising would be a breeze with the kids on hols, but we've been busy, there's still chores to be done, and just chilling out together at home. We haven't even been to the beach together these hols as the weather hasn't been conducive. There are bluebottles abound at the moment, so it's best to stay away. I want to be healthy. I don't want to hurt anymore. Don't really know what I can do about that though. I have work with Barbi on the website, I'm excited about where that's heading. I still have much to learn, and a long way to go before the store is online but I've started making inroads.

On the kid front, my children will continue to play golf. I'm hoping they don't want to play footy. We'll see what happens there. So lovely to have them playing with nice kids and to have them at the same venue, and the fact Daddy can enjoy it with them. He enjoyed watching them play footy, but it was onerous having to drive here there and everywhere, and the whole footy culture is just not my cup of tea. Billy-Joe I'm going to have to watch closely again this year. I have to spend more time with him than the other two, I can see that.

I will think more about my goals for 2010. I don't make resolutions, but I do make intentions. I've learned to be softer on myself. It makes my goals more realistic and achievable.