Happy Mothers' Day

I have just had the best day. I love Mothers' Day. It's right up there with Christmas and even better than my birthday I think, seeing as my birthday is so close to Christmas. I started the morning with a delicious cooked break - my favourite, french toast, maple syrup, bacon, coffee and orange juice.

It was the first Mothers' Day breakfast I'd ever had cooked for me.Normally we head out to see Peter's Mum in the morning and then rush home to have lunch at our house with my parents. Now that Peter's folks live half an hour away, it takes a huge hunk out of the morning, so I suggested we go yesterday. I'm so pleased Peter thougth it was a good idea. We got to have a really nice visit yesterday, and I had a relaxed morning today. Because Mum and I had decided to have cooked chickens and salad for lunch with bake @ home rolls, I could take the time to make an appetiser and dessert. Yesterday I made a pate and tiramisu. Both were just divine!!!

The kids bought me lovely gifts from the stall at school. A coffee mug, washers, a shower fuffy, and a sponge, with shower gel and shampoo. The piece de resistance was my Pandora Bracelet. I was overwhelmed. Especially as Peter made out that I wasn't getting much. Plus, like I mentioned in a previous post, the jeweller's which specialize in this, are not in our town, so for him to go outside the Bunny Zone was pretty cool.

Just before midday though, I got a text to check my ichat messages. Mmm, I was surprised that I'd missed them but I went over to the computer and sure enough there were quite a few messages. Karen was excited that I'd received my Pandora Bracelet, but I nearly fell off my chair with excitement when she told me she had got a MacBook!!!

I rang her up, I couldn't ichat her back because my hands were shaking. I squealed and was so loud with excitement for her that the kids came running out to see what the fuss was about. Geoff had thought that I hadn't responded to the messages because I didn't have mine yet lol.......... She had spent the morning totally overwhelmed, and in tears and just delighted to have her own computer. Like mine will be it's all on the wireless network and she is so excited. Now she can bookmark, and save and download to her heart's content and I can show her stuff and we know that Geoff won't get peeved at us lol........

I might go to Myer this week, next Friday night we'll both sit there.......

I have to go and maybe swap my bracelet as it's quite small.

I had a fabulous day. Hope all my friends had an awesome day too.

Bunny, Billy-Joe, my Mum and Dad, while Mum opens her gift.

My Pandora Bracelet

Saying Thank you for my lovely gift.

My Week Thus Far

I've had a really nice week. My arm is about 60% better, so I'm doing things that I've left undone. Over two mornings I cleaned my entire kitchen, stove top and inside and outside of my fridge. Everything looks lovely again. Makes me feel good inside when I open the fridge and the glass shelves are spotless again. I was going to exercise every day this week, but have only managed one hour on the treadmill so far this week. Slack! My Levis got pulled out of the depths of my wardrobe today, and, while they still fit and look okay, I can feel I've put weight back on. I'll need to do something about it before I put it all back on again. I still feel fit enough on the treadmill, although I'm walking rather than jogging at the moment. I'm concentrating on extending time per session rather than intensity. It burns a good lot of calories and I can maintain it, so I'll keep along that track for a while.

I've pretty much been home all week. Scrapping last Friday night of course, home the entire weekend, and it was a long weekend too. I enjoyed myself by looking after my family and cooking heaps. On Sunday, Peter went and played golf and the kids and I enjoyed a relaxed day at home together. Billy-Joe was keen to cook again, and as my arm is still giving me trouble, and I wanted muffins baked, it achieved two goals in one. He loved making them and is gaining a little extra confidence. He's shit scared of the oven, but is getting there and listens well to my guidance, which is just an awesome role for me. I just love to teach! After we'd made the muffins, I asked if he wanted to make lunch too, so he made egg and bacon baskets in bread in the muffin pan. They were delicous, with spring onions and grated cheese on top. Mickey, Billy-Joe and I ate them for lunch, Sammy turned his nose up at them and had a Cucumber Sandwich. (Sammy's name for a salad sandwich. Often I don't even have cucumber, so then it becomes a cucumber sandwich without the cucumber lol......)

On Monday Peter took the kids fishing and I stayed home. I listened to my audio book and decided that I wanted to get stuck into making my rug in earnest. I am so pleased with it, I finished it yesterday. Sewing in all the ends took me over an hour. I finished it last night and actually sat rolled up like in a sausage roll in front of the TV. Bliss! When Bunny kissed me good night, I put my glasses half down my nose and told him good night and God Bless you with a quivery voice...... as I'm sitting there like an Oma. I loved making it and am sad that it's finished. I'm on the lookout for my next project. It's nice making something while I'm doing something else. I don't feel like the time in front of the TV is wasted.

Today I've been and done some shopping. I added a nightie for Peter's Mum's present for Mothers' Day. I've made my Mum and MIL and iphoto book, and I wanted to add something else. I've organized my Mum's other gift too. I'm hope she'll like them. I'm not sure what I'm getting for Mothers' Day, but DB did go into a jewellery store today and look at a pandora bracelet. Unfortunately the guy only had a gold one which cost nearly $7000!!! He would have to go to another jeweller - not quite down the coast, but definitley out of the Bunny Zone. (The Bunny Zone, is anywhere from home, to work, to the golf course, which fortunately encompasses town as well - anywhere beyond that he generally doesn't go, or he's with me, and I drive too). So I'm not sure what Mothers' Day will bring. I know for one thing though, that it will be a great day. It's always an exciting day. I always feel cherished, which is an awesome feeling. The kids and Bunny are wonderful to me. This year I get to spend Mothers' Day with my parents, which makes it doubly special. Last year my parents were away, and while I still had a lovely day, it's just not the same. I need my Mum with me on Mothers' Day - simple as that.

I went and visited my parents one day this week and had lunch with them. Something I really enjoyed. My Mum cooks very differently to me, but I love her food. We had a yummy beef soup and then some Reis Auf Lauf. Lord only knows how that translates, and I'm thinking the Australian version is a rice pudding type thing, although rice pudding is runny - not sure since I didn't grow up with Australian cuisine. This is made with rice (of course), milk, sultanas, sliced apples, cinammon and vanilla sugar I think. There must be eggs in it for it all to hang together, but it's not runny. It's quite firm and you dish it up in a large slice. Mmmmmmm, delish, and so reminiscent of my childhood. Apparently in Austria (not sure about Germany) Mehlspeise (Sweet dish) were commonly eaten for a main meal. I'm guessing this was due to the fact that food was scarce during the war years, and that flour and eggs were more readily available. I'll have to check on that. So many times during my childhood, we'd have a Mehlspeise for dinner, usually after a hearty soup entree. Sometimes it was pancakes (which I later found out were actually crepes, when much to my chagrin I was served gigantic pikelets the first time I ate at the Pancake Parlour), Reis Auf Lauf, Kaiserschmarn, (thick pancakes with sultantas and apples, cooked and then chopped up, served with sugar and cinammon. Apfel Strudel (can you imagine eating apple strudel as a main meal??? Delicous. There were some others that we had, but these were the most commonly in my home. There was no complaints in the house when this was dished up! This week, I took a leaf out of my Mum's book. I'd eaten enough chicken for the week, and there was only more chicken in the freezer, so I made pancakes (crepes) for dinner. The kids thought I was joking lol........ They loved it. I made dear Bunny something a little more wholesome, but the kids and I loved it. I could have made more. My Mum and Aunty used to make this filling called 'Dopfen' and it was to die for. It was made with some kind of cheese, like a baker's cheese (no lumps!) and then cream, sugar and sultanas were added. Absolutely to die for, and soooooo filling. I wonder if I'd still like them now....... Let me think for a second. Yes!! I think I would.

I have to go out shortly, but will hopefully get back later or tomorrow to add a badge I was given for my blog.

Off to pick up my kids and await my grocery delivery.

Layout

I completed my first layout in the Now We're Rockin with Photoshop class from www.jessicasprague.com

Everytime I do one of these I learn something else. Finally I know how to manipulate brushes - I mean really know how to move them, and alter them, not like before when it was all trial and error and when it worked I didn't really know what I'd done differently.

Sookie Stackhouse

I'm currently enjoying listening to a series of books by Charlaine Harris. They are the Sookie Stackhouse series which are of the paranormal genre. I wasn't sure how much I'd like these books but they came highly recommended from a friend.

This is the fourth book in a series of eight of a young woman who has begun dating Bill the vampire. I began this book and was disappointed that Bill was 'out of the country' so I was worried that there wouldn't be a love interest in the book, a crucial element to novels I enjoy. While the love interest wasn't Bill. I needn't have worried lol....... Sookie has to 'look after' Eric, a viking vampire who is being hunted by witches, and Sookie's brother is missing. The book goes through the process of Sookie looking for her brother and many surprises alight along the way.

It's good fantasy, that leaves you wondering what it would be like to 'have' a vampire....

Can't wait to read the next book.

Actually I panicked while reading the book as I didn't have the entire book. So, here I was at a crucial part, with a quarter of the book missing. I downloaded the .rar file again, but it didn't containe the last of the book. I had to venture into the realm of e-books. I downloaded the entire e-book and then had to find an e-book reader for Mac OS X. I was very excited when I saw that this format is compatible with an iphone...... Mmmm, is it trying to tell me something lol.......??

Cheese Platter for Dinner

I mentioned in the previous post about our cheese platter for dinner. We added some smoked oysters on toast with french mustard too, and only made a tiny dent in the cheeses. It's so rich, you don't need a lot. The cheese board was a birthday present from Karen. I love the knife in the foreground, it's for cutting hard cheeses and does a great job and feels nice in your hand.

Giveaway

I've got this from a girlfriend's blog.... I'm a bit behind in my blog reading, so sorry about the short notice......

The article below is copied directly from Alaine's reading blog, which is very well worth bookmarking as she's an avid reader and writes great book reviews. I love her blog as a great reference point, her best friend Sheree also does great book reviews, so these are my great resource for selecting what to read (or listen to) next.

I have recently 'discovered' Christine Feehan and how much I love this Paranormal Romance author. One of the books I've read for the Read-a-thon was Magic in the Wind and I would really like to convert other readers (I am reading book 4 in the Dark Series as well). If you'd like a copy of the first two books in Christine Feehan's Drake Sister Series then follow these instruction.

1. Leave a comment on this post for one entry
2. Become a follower of my blog for another entry. If you already follow, let me know and you'll receive another entry.
3. Post about this give-away on your blog for another entry
4. Please leave an email address or ensure you are contactable via your blog.

Compitition closes on April 28, 2009. Winner will be announce on my blog so please check back on the day to see if you're the winner. Winner will be given 24 hours to contact me or I will redraw. Competition open to everyone, not only participants of the Read-a-thon. Good luck!

Post a comment on Alaine's blog here.

A Day at the Beach

The two photos above - the top one uses the Landscape Picture style, while the second one is using the Standard style. I love the extra saturation in the above picture. I love how these picture styles will reduce post processing. I normally can't help 'tweaking' (read - fiddling) with photos and if I'm happy with the colour SOOC (Straight out of the camera) then I won't be tempted to adjust them. It's cool having the control over the colours in my camera. For close ups, the Standard setting is excellent and I'll enjoy using that in my home, especially as colour in my house can often over power the subject.

A little crab the kids found and showed me.

I played with the Picture styles in my camera. The above one is Standard, which leaves images fairly neutral. I love the effect in the above photo.

The above photo is edited simply with 'enhance' in iphoto and the photo above it is using the Standard picture style. Not quite enough saturation for my liking.

Today was just the most gorgeous day. Unfortunately summer time is often not the best time at the beach for us, as the wind direction often makes it blowy, rough and sand gets everywhere. Plus it's stinking hot then too. We've always had the best beach days in Spring and Autumn. The kids had a ball, catching waves, playing frisbee, exploring in the sand. We had fish and chips for lunch and followed up with an ice cream. I took my camera along, and read some more of my field guide and played with some of the settings.

Fixed Picasa

The Naked Tin

One decorated tin

My cards I made last night. See Karen, I actually finished the bottom one. Does that mean it took me three weeks to complete lol......

I had a great day yesterday. I had a physio appointment in the morning, and my shoulder is still improving. I can't do most things still, but it doesn't hurt at every minute of the day. I'm so pleased that it's finally responding to treatment. Carlie gave me exercises to do, and Peter has set up a pulley for me downstairs, with string attached so I can do some passive exercises for my shoulder. I've now got some strength building isometric ones to do too.

I have to stop myself from doing lots though, and it's hard because I see so much that needs doing. I bought a big bottle of sugar soap because there are doors and walls desperately in need of being washed down. I just have to wait though, or get Peter to do them, which isn't easy, as he's not here much, with long work hours, I'm often reluctant to ask for help.

Yesterday after my appointment I went into the Plaza and met up with Suzy. We had a great day. Unfortunately, it went far too quickly. We spent well over an hour and a half with the IT people in Myer, asking lots of questions about a Macbook. Suzy still has some things to work out, and perhaps some questions that need answering but she's leaning toward 'crossing over'. I have to remember to loan her the book on the Mac operating system which I bought. She'll be blown away by what it's capable of doing. We had walk around, bought some underwear, had a snack for lunch as Suzy had bought us morning tea, and we weren't hugely hungry. We also went and checked out the teeth whitening people and think that we'll do it one day. It looks great, and is fairly quick to do.

Last night scrapping was good fun, and very late. By the time I'm in bed and listened to my audiobook, it was well after 2am!! Unfortunately Karen didn't come last night because she wasn't feeling well. I hope that she got a good night's sleep and didn't stay up too late reading. She is deep into the Twilight series and is having trouble putting them down.

I'm looking forward to a nice date night with my husband tonight. We've bought some cheeses, so we're just going to have a nice cheese platter and wine for dinner. I find that if we have nibblies, we're often (me mainly) not hungry enough and a main meal really is wasted on me. Plus then I don't feel so bad that I've ingested all these extra calories.

The whole Kleenmaid debacle has been on my mind a lot this week. I feel so sorry for the people who have lost their money through paying a deposit, or full payment and then never receiving their whitegoods. Had this happened two years ago, it could have involved us - as we bought our stuff in April - I can't remember what date we paid a deposit, but the deposit was $2000!!!! I feel sick for those poor people who have their kitchen underway, and nothing to put in it. That means my five year warranty is no longer too!! That was a huge selling point for us. Kind of comforting to knwo that you have a $2000 dishwasher and it's covered for five years! I just thank God that we never took out the additional five year warranty that they tried to sell me several times over the last two years, and that we got all the warranty issues settled quickly, when they happened.

Anzac Day

Today we commemorate those who have fought for our freedom.

Lest We Forget.



It's been a nice Saturday. The weather is quite warm considering we're well into Autumn. It's nearly 5pm and it's still 26 degrees Celsius (79 Degrees fahrenheit). The kids have been outside most of the day, building things, hurting themselves, making a mess, but having lots of fun lol.....

I've actually been creating. I've decorated a tin so that I can keep my cards that I've made from getting bent. The only thing I did wrong, was that the tin is far too small. I've made far more cards than will fit into the tin. They are all squished in. I'll have to give some away for Mothers' Day. At least they make a nice and practical gift.

Accck, Picasa has had a conniption. It normally does my resizing and uploading in one action..... I'll fix Picasa and then I'll upload photos...

Hope everyone has a nice weekend.

A Funny Day

Two posts in one day - what's going on lol...........???

I was in a rush earlier and didn't make the post as long as it could have been. I spent quite a bit of time on the phone earlier with my brother, well on Skype actually. We laughed and cracked each other up, it was so good, just the two of us, reminiscent of days gone by....... Felt so good to just chat and laugh and just be us. No-one to butt in, no-one but us - two geeks having a great time lol......

We were surfing together and checking out the specs on an imac as he wants to 'cross over' too at some stage. And I'm the best saleslady lol......

I just looooovvveee technology. It's so cool. It does stuff, and it changes and it just speaks to me in a way no other medium has ever done. While I'm not one of those that hangs off their mobile phones ad nauseum, I do love all the mod cons. Broadband, computers...........all things Apple.

Okay, better go and do something important like get dinner together for my family.

Otpus.......me thinks it should be Optout

I'm a city girl - through and through. A city girl who's lived in a regional centre now for nearly 20 years, and, once I got over the fact that the Chinese food isn't as good as it is from where I came from, I haven't really clamoured for city life at all. I can deal with the fact that people in general dress daggier here, and that we don't have all the stores here, having the internet basically puts everything at my finger tips anyway, and dressing super casual is kind of freeing. We've enough traffic around here, so that's not changed lol.....thank goodness I don't need public transport because it's virtually non existent. No, there's nothing I miss by being so far from a city......

Up until now that is!

I want to change our internet/home phone/mobile phone plans. It's time to change, and to save some money. I've done some calculations and I can get more than I have now for quite a bit less each month. For the sake of the headaches that changing providers can bring, I'd decided to stay with my current one. That was until last night, when I realized that the pamphlet I'd been perusing for two days mentioned nothing about ADSL, only cable. And, you gussed it, we can't get cable here...... For all intents and purposes I don't even know why the guy at the Optus store gave me a book, because I can't use any of their plans. Checked out their website, and the same deal, my current plan isn't even on there......

So this morning I went into the local Optus shop and there the guy told me that I couldn't change my broadband/phone plan, unless I wanted to go to a slightly cheaper phone, and a lesser/or more broadband connection (as far as downloads go), but none of the brochure's or websites plans were relevant to me......(or to anyone else in this area)!!!

I'm not impressed at all.

I don't know what to do. I can still reduce my costs, but I'd be saving $30 per month, rather than $58, so not to be sneezed at, but then I'd have the added headache of changing providers. The other provider I'm considering, has a very good reputation....their customer service is excellent

If I lived in a city, I would have so many options. Dropping the landline and having a faster broadband is possible. Cable is possible.

But not here.......and who knows when it will be. I'm at an impasse. Not sure what I'll do.

My Weekend

I had a really nice weekend. It started well, because even when I got up on Saturday morning, my arm was still not too bad. Even tonight, it's got a dull ache, but nothing like it was. I definitely think it's on the mend, and I'm just about jumping out of my skin with happiness.

Now I've left it late, and I wanted to do a good update, but I really should be heading to bed.

Yesterday was a good day. I slept in a little after staying up too late scrapping and listening to my audio book. I pottered around home and went to Erbachers for fruit and vegies. Karen and I headed to Carrin's wedding in the afternoon. We weren't guests but knew she would be rapt to have us there. It was a very small family affair. Carrin looked beautiful, and thank God the weather was just perfect. She was very lucky, especially considering how the weather was last weekend.

Karen and I went to McDonalds (flash hey!!!) and had a snack. I was hungry as I hadn't had lunch, due in part to the dinner and bee sting Karen and I'd eaten the night before. It was lovely for us just to chat and chat and chat. The afternoon went too quickly, but was very enjoyable. I was so glad that we both went.

That evening, the kids decided to camp out in the yard. So they had a ball. Sammy 'came home' at around 11pm. He just felt more comfortable in his own bed. (Smart boy). I loved over hearing them talk in the tent. Billy-Joe was reading to them, and they had enough electronic equipment and games to keep them occupied for days rather than just one night. They had a ball.

Today, Peter cleaned out downstairs. After the rain we'd had last weekend, it was glaringly obvious that the stuff I've been carting around with me for nearly 20 years since I moved to this state just had to go. I didn't want to see it. Didn't want to see how things I once treasured had perished. He took nearly all of it to the dump. I stayed upstairs and made the occasional decision, but mainly I just did my ironing and other house stuff.

Later in the afternoon Peter took the kids to golf and I began my research on the internet for my new internet/mobile phone provider. I want to go 'naked'. I don't want or need a landline anymore. I can get cheaper with a wireless connection and a mobile phone with a capped plan. Even with a new mobile phone contract this will save us around $60 per month. I'm just hoping that I understand everything correctly. I want to go wireless so that I can ditch the landline and then be able to take my wireless internet with a laptop if I so desire. I need to go into the Optus store and ask someone. Maybe if you read this and have an opinion, please share your views, I'm interested in what others think. For a nominal amount each month I can have VOIP, if I still require a phone, just another consideration. Skype for example is only costs $5 per month.

I really must head to bed now. Tomorrow is the last day of the school holidays so the last day of my sleep ins. Last night was another late night as I watched 'Australia' on DVD. Peter, of course fell asleep so missed almost an hour of it. Had Sammy not 'come home' Peter would have slept right until the end. I loved the movie. One of the best movies I've ever seen. Beautiful scenery, (including Hugh Jackman), the characters were fabulous, Nicole Kidman was fantastic, I have no idea what all the criticism was about, I'm sure some people only say something bad for the sake of it. The movie was an epic, and I wasn't bored, and was sad when it finished.

Tomorrow I have to take the boys to the Plaza, Billy-Joe and Sammy have both blown out their sandshoes, so they desperately need new pairs. My parents are taking us all to Sizzler for lunch, so that will be fun. I haven't told the kids yet, so they'll get a lovely surprise when they think I'm heading home but I pull into the Sizzler driveway. What a lovely way to spend the last day......

Now I'm really heading off to bed before I think of something else to add.

Quietly Euphoric

I didn't do a lengthy update about my Easter, not because it wasn't a lovely time, but because I've limited my computer time, due to the amount of pain I've been in. My arm was just getting worse and worse, and I was hanging out for yesterday's physio appointment.

I had a busy day yesterday starting with the groceries and my arm hates those wretched trolleys. They're dreadful at the best of times, but when your arm screams just to steer them, it's not good. I had my annual mole check and then headed home with a clean bill of health as far as my skin goes.

After lunch I headed to the physio, and Carlie laughed at the look of relief on my face - she's my healing angel and I have so much faith in her, even though to date she hadn't helped my shoulder much at all. My hip was playing up this week too, but with the type of pain, I knew she'd fix that no problem.

I came home from there feeling so much better. Better than I had in months. I was quietly happy, not keen enough to be excited because I knew that sometimes it felt better after a treatment and then went bad again a day or so later. The funny thing was though, that there wasn't even an ache. My arm felt like it only weighed half as much as before. I had a lovely evening, the nicest I've had all week. The kids had nice chicken burgers for dinner and I bought Peter and I a piece of scotch fillet each. He made this to die for salad, with roasted capsicum and roasted tomatoes with sugar on them. The salad had rocket, spinach and carrot slivers (cut with peeler), the dressing was olive oil, red wine vinegar, parsley and garlic. Absolutely delightful!

Billy-Joe and I stayed up and played Sims 2 Castaways on the Wii. If I've worked I like to do something with and for the kids. I really begrudge spending $50+ to take them to the movies, so I bought items instead. I bought and Indiana Jones DVD, a Ben10 Alienforce watch for Mickey and the Sims game for all of us....... and it cost the same as us going to the movies and a zillion times better value. The kids were very excited and I was stoked to see their happiness.

Today I had to go to the doctor's. My HRT medication is no longer available and I needed a doctor's prescription for a new one. Sammy, needs as asthma plan for school. I went back to the clinic where I had my cortisone injection, but saw a different doctor - in my continuing bid to find a compassionate, thorough and interested Doctor. When today's GP asked me about my shoulder - he won me over!!! My other GP whom I'd been seeing for years, never ever asked me about anything, and I didn't like that.

I wanted a nother seretide script for Billy-Joe and rather than just write out a script, he wanted a full history and gave me some other tips for managing his asthma. He also went into detail about Sammy's asthma that it was probaby a type of asthma because of a cold. I'm to note how often he has ventolin because more than three times per week means he needs a preventor, otherwise we can manage it with the ventolin.

He questioned me about my HRT usage, and I told him that my IUD was due for renewal next month. He said that if I had no ovarian activity, I no longer needed another. God that scares the living daylights out of me...... I had a blood test today, to see what my oestrogen levels are. It's quite probable that I have passed through menopause - and that everything has finished.

He also looked at my poor toenail which has lost two toenails and he gave it a long name. I'm to bathe it in a mixture of chlorine bleach and water three times a day - easy!

So, I've written all this and my arm is still good. I drove this morning and didn't grit my teeth at every corner.

Could it be that it's better? Could the pain be behind me? Carlie recommended another GP whose specialty is sports medicine if I need another cortisone injection, and then the next step would be a guided injection under ultrasound. So there's things to do if this isn't really better. My thoughts are though, that whatever she did yesterday helped, and if it aches again, she can do it again. I will continue to take it easy and also do my passive excercises - that sounds like an oxymoron, but one arm pulls the rope through a pulley, while the bad arm is just being pulled, not exerting any pressure at all. Peter is going to set it up for me on the weekend.

My biggest regret, is that I didn't go to her earlier this week....... I feel like I wasted my holidays.

Easter Weekend

 

This is my window after I've put up curtains that Karen gave me. My yellow ones just don't look right anymore now that we don't have the bright yello lounge. This looks so much better - thank you Karen, they look fabulous.

 

 

Aren't they all beautiful kids. Mickey, Julia, Billy-Joe, Kiana and Sammy. I love my nieces to bits.

 

My Spirits are Lifted.

Do you ever get times in your life, where you seriously feel like you're failing and flailing. I've felt like that for several weeks now. I have so much self doubt. I doubt myself as a mother, I feel I'm lacking in the good wife department, and rightly or wrongly, I define myself by the roles I have. As a woman we have so many. Wife, friend, daughter, sister, mother, worker, housewife, organizer, cook, cleaner, accountant, disciplinarian, counsellor, motivator - and these are just what I can think of on the top of my head.

I can remember one day, when I'd had my mini breakdown. I'd got up one morning, the kids were small, and I was getting breakfast bowls out. I just fell apart. I couldn't count and figure out how many bowls I needed!

I rang my wonderful husband, and just cried. He came home and took over. He took me to the doctor and I started a round of treatment which included counselling sessions.

Prior to the sessions starting I had two people from Mental Health Unit come to the house. I sat down and Peter just pottered in the kitchen. I was neat, tidy, hair done and with a touch of makeup on. The two, assessors (I don't really know what their role was) looked me up and down and didn't know where to start. The told me that they were not prepared for what they found. All they knew, is that they had to evaluate someone (must normally be an onerous job, for them to have sent two people!!). They said they never find the patient, made up, with hair done. The patient doesn't have clean children. The patient doesn't tend to sit in a clean and tidy home. The patient doesn't normally have a husband who works quietly in the background, obviously supporting his wife just with his mere presence.......

They sat there, and had to explain why they were so stunned. I answered that, I would need to be rather ill, or dead, before I would let myself and my house go to that extent. I would never invite anyone into my home and have them see anything other than order.......Perhaps they wouldn' think I was sick enough.

They did, and I got the help I needed. Counselling and a safety net.

I always know they were there. I still carry their card in my wallet, never ever knowing when I'll need their help again, and not too proud or cocky to think that the time won't ever come again.


I digressed........

I haven't been to that level the last few months, but I've not felt strong and resilient either. I've not felt that I've fulfilled all my roles to their best potential, although I'm possibly the only one who thinks so. I've always been my own worst enemy and my harshest critic too.

This last weekend, was interesting. My eldest boy, whom I adore, has had pre pubescent attitude since he was 8 years old. We are so alike in may ways, and that's probably why we clash like we do. I'd had enough of his attitude. I know that my God Given role of parent, doesn't always make me a friend, and I tell him that's not my role. I'm set on this earth to be his guiding light, support and his soft place to fall. This means I'm here to do what's best for him, not to tell him what he wants to hear all the time. He has mates for that. That's not my role.

As luck would have it (his luck) he want to a sleepover on the Saturday night. I was glad that he was away. The dynamics change, and it gave us some much needed breathing space. He had apologized, but it wasn't heartfelt.

So my mind worked, how could I mend some bridges when he comes home. I thought about how much we enjoyed each others company. When he came home yesterday I asked him if he wanted to be my training partner again. Like we'd done last year. He was quick to think that was a good idea.

Today I worked. Today I was told that I had work until the end of the week. That feels good. It's good money, and makes up for the many weeks of no work. Added to that the two teachers in the block actually asked for me. When school finished one of the teachers was heading to the office to let them know how much they liked and respected me. They both told me in the morning that I had a good reputation around the school amongst the teachers. They wanted the office to be aware of this, as they were the ones who actually did the ringing. As you can imagine I walked around on a cloud all day.

My shoulder's still not good, but the acute pain is gone. I don't need pain killers to get through the day. My pupils are all ambulatory and require no toileting, so the physical side is nil. It means it can still rest and I can still work.

I picked up the kids and headed home. I supervised homework although only Sammy had homework, much to his chagrin. He wasn't impressed at all - being the last week of school and all. He has a cold with a sore throat and headache, so I crushed him some panadol in some juice. I've had no complaints since he's been playing on the computer.

Billy-Joe and I headed down to the 'gym'. I walked, jogged, walked, jogged, and coached him with his weights and crunches. We were down there for over half an hour. At one stage, he ducked upstairs saying he was doing something to help me. I said it was okay, I didn't need my treadmill I only had about seven minutes left. He said, no, it's okay, I've done something to help you and you'll see when you go up.

I head upstairs, and left Billy-Joe to sweep out the dusty gym. (It's under the house, on a concrete slab, but in the open, if that makes sense). I walked past the bathroom, Mickey was drying himself and Sammy was in the shower. Mickey said, that Billy-Joe had asked them to shower, to help me. I was rapt. No arguments, and they were done by the time I came inside. While I was putting on a load of washing, Mickey set the table - I was gobsmacked!

Everyone was in a good mood. No-one got into trouble. No attitude.

It's days like today, that make me realize I do indeed fulfill my roles. I know I'm my harshest critic. In my teaching studies, I learned that one always evaluates one's days, and then makes efforts to improve it for next time. Reflection is a powerful planning tool for a teacher, and I've found, for life also. I am hard on myself, and often feel severely short of the mark. Perhaps that's not a good thing, and during the 'down' times, it's awful. But I keep plodding on, always trying, always improving, never letting my standards drop, and then a day like today proves that I must be doing a few things right.

I will never stop learning, I'll never stop making things better for myself and my family. And I'll give myself permission to celebrate the goodness that I create too.

Dinner is simmering, the kids are happy and well behaved. Husband is hard at work and will come home to a tidy house and a cooked meal. I've got a good, albeit spasmodic job, I've got awesome family and friends. Seriously, it doesn't get much better does it?

Update

Sorry for the boring title - no inspiration for anything clever today.....

I had my cortisone injection almost a week ago. My shoulder is better, the acute, take your breath away pain is gone, but that's all. I still find things difficult and I am acutely aware that I need to be careful. No, that's not quite right, I can do more things. I've done more housework things than I've done in the last few weeks. But my arm tires and has no strength. Needless to say I'm not doing any weights, but I have been walking on the treadmill. I've been on three times this week, so am hoping my fitness will improve quickly, because it's decreased very very quickly. I'm walking and not jogging at the moment.

I've had no work this week, but the clearing of some debts has made life easier and taken the pressure off me. I am still able to save money for Christmas and for my Surprise Cruise (five year plan) so all's good there. I hate it when I have my pharmaceutical bills, because with three different medications, that's my biggest personal expense. My scrapbooking costs very little at the moment, which is also good. I have been making cards of late too,which helps keep the cost down, and it has a practical component too, which appeals.

I've finished the Twilight series of audio books. I've loved them and am very sad that they are finished. I'm totally hooked on the whole audio book thing, the multi tasking opportunities are huge. Housework was never so much fun, nor ironing.... I'm reading a real book at the moment, and it's a Field Guide for my camera. I've only just started it and have already learned two major things that I didn't know before, so I'm stoked.

More Cards

 

 

Cards

 

 

 

 

Weekend Fun

Picasa is playing up and won't let me upload all my photos in one hit! Sorry about three posts. Friday night scrapbooking was fun as always, but with an added celebration. Carrin is getting married in three weeks, so we had a hen's night/shower for her. We had wine and food and good company and a late movie but no games or anything. Barbi made her a headpiece and Karen had her bouquet from her Debut Ball! We put some money together and gave her a set of heart stamps, and a Daisy's cookbook. She was rapt with what we'd done for her. It was a lovely evening. A little birdie told me she had a headache yesterday!

Lately Karen and I have taken the pressure off ourselves and we've made cards instead. We both have a passion for acrylic stamps, and we have a good plan. She buys them, and I get to try them lol....... I did buy a new set on the weekend, which we will share too. The russian dolls in the cards I've made is one of her new stamps. I bought the owl stamps which are featured in one of the photo posts.

On Saturday Barbi, had a charity day for the Bushfire and flood victims. There was only a small number of us, but we had an absolute ball. Lisa H and her friend Donna came, Yvonne a lady who's a regular Saturday scrapper (and one of my photography class attendees), Karen and Suzy. We spent the whole day together and it felt like a retreat weekend. Karen had spent the morning, drenched as she watched her sons play football, but arrived in time for lunch. Suzy and I were able to catch up on our 'geek talk', which is always so nice. We discussed when would be the right timing to buy a laptop. We want to use the childrens' school tax rebate to help purchase them. We've decided that the idea time, may well be before the end of the financial year. I was willing to wait, but Suzy said, the government in their eternal wisdom, may decide they've spent too much money and this tax benefit could be scrapped next year. We would both be very upset if that happened. I wouldn't be doing it without that tax benefit, and I don't think Suzy would be doing it this year either. I talked to Bunny about it and he agrees with Suzy's thinking. We spoke a bit about our cameras, and it was a pity that she didn't bring hers along. She'd bought a field guide for the book from the UK (I ordered one too - free freight from the Book Depository). I changed a setting on my camera after talking to Suzy, actually I've changed two things since she's bought her new camera, so I'm keen to learn more about my own camera. I have stuck to the familiar settings and I need to explore more and take my picture taking to a new level.

I was so excited to have found my card mojo yesterday. I was even more excited when I inspired Suzy to make a card like my blue owl card. Her work always inspires me and I was excited to feel that I'd inspired her. I took my Cuttlebug, and had a ball with Barbi's embossing folders. A highlight of yesterday was Dawnie joining us in the afternoon. It was lovely sitting and chatting with her. We all had dinner together,and Dawnie even stayed for that.

Lovely Lisa, was very very very peeved about not being able to join us and I need to hide this post so she doesn't know how much fun we had..... I'm sure she had fun with her visitors though. I just feel sorry for anyone who dares stand in the way of her coming next Friday night! Their life wouldn't be worth living!!

My shoulder and arm has a dull ache! The acute pain has gone. I'm praying that the healing can commence and that the dull ache goes away too. It hurts like it hurt when it first started. I've been very careful not to lift anything heavy, and have been cleaning and doing lots with my left hand. I'm feeling happier today than I've felt in weeks. Pain is crap and just takes the oompf out of my life. I've been debilitated with pain a few times in my life, and it scares me to death. I'm just so grateful to my physio for sending me off to get a scan......thanks Carlie.

Update

I've had a better week. I actually wanted to go out this week, so that's a big improvement. I worked on Monday, and all went well as I mentioned in my last post. On Tuesday I visited my gf and we chatted and ate yummy cake. I had my scan.....which showed bursitis, arthritis and calcification on the bone - at least now I know.

On Tuesday I rang to see if Cath could cut my hair. She was busy until he end of the week. She was going to see 'Chicago' (scroll down) on Wednesday and asked me if I wanted to go, as Craig wouldn't want to go with a busload of ladies!!! I had to do some juggling with kids and an appointment, but I ended up going.

Cath cut my hair beforehand, and then we drove down to Kawana to where the mini bus was leaving from. We headed down to Brisbane. The lady who'd organized it, made us all lunch. For $6 we had a chinese meal container full of homemade goodies, grapes, and we had a bottle of water too. It was delicious and perfect. The show was fabulous. I was just amazed at the talent, and the level of professionalism. Caroline O'Connor, the lead, was just awesome. She was so young, athletic and beautiful with a voice like Liza Minelli, but more guturral - very strong and powerful. You can imagine my shock when I read her bio last night and discovered she was my age...... God,that made me feel so old......I thought she was 20 years younger than me. On the way home, we had chocolates and a glass of wine. It was nice chatting and relaxing and not having to worry about the traffic. I was sick of sitting down all day though. My back ached lol....... I'm not used to all this relaxing!!

Today I had a hectic day. I ended up having a cortisone injection in my shoulder. I also popped in to see my parents, which was nice. I had a lot of running around to do, between the doctor twice, hunting down my cortisone and a visit to my physio... After physio, before I had to head back to the doctor, I went and had a dose of Daisy's. It helped to calm me before I had to have the injection.

I'm pleased I'm home now. I'll just duck out shortly to pick up my little ones and then I can come home and have a shower and prepare dinner. I just bought pizza bases, so dinner is simple.

I need to rest my shoulder for a few days. The local which was injected with the cortisone is starting to wear off.

I am looking forward to a glass of wine later and a relaxing evening.

I made it

I'm glad I was worried about today. It spoiled my weekend a little, but at least I felt like I was pro active and not reactive. I didn't take my additional anti depressant medication this morning. I decided to take it at night (tonight). I couldn't afford to be sleepy at work. Plus I wanted to be able to take nurofen plus and I would have been comatose with both drugs in my system. I know my body would get used to the extra, but I can't risk it - and I didn't want another day of feeling like I did over the weekend. It reminded me of the times I'd changed my medication in the past, when my kids were still little. It was the most horrible time of my life. I had a baby and a toddler, while I was trying to 'wash out' from one drug, and then re introducing a new drug. I would spend the day lying on the sofa, wishing like anything I could just sleep, but, of course I couldn't. It was like sleep torture. Being dead on my feet and not having the liberty of just being able to relax. I'd done that a few times, because often the new drug wasn't suitable, so then I'd have to go through the whole process again. I knew that there was a light at the end of the tunnel, but it was a tough road getting there. And like this weekend, the mornings were the toughest.

That's how I felt this last weekend. Thankfully my kids are much bigger, and it wasn't traumatic - they just had a drowsy Mum to contend with.

I was grateful for the class that I had too. I had to lift, but with assistance and my aide took the brunt of the weight. Two kids were in wheelchairs, so that made it easier to keep them where they were required. I had a lovely aide and we chatted the entire day as we took care of the kids. It was much less stressful than many of the days I've had there. No backchat, no bad behaviour, no tantrums, and a little amount of academic work got done too.

Dinner tonight is very easy. I forgot to defrost something this morning, so I'm making a meal that I used to make frequently years ago. It's a very simple curried tuna.

Curried Tuna
Big tin tuna in brine,drained and broken up
Large tin creamed corn
large tim corn kernels
onion, chopped
garlic, crushed
parsley
1 tsp of 2 of curry powder
salt and pepper to taste
parsley chopped to serve

all mixed together and served on a bed of rice. I will see the consistency and then may add some lite evaporated milk in it, with a little cornflour if needed. I've gone off plain tuna served hot, so I'm trying this dish again as I have three big cans of tuna in the cupboard, and the cat won't even eat it lol.......(she only eats dried stuff).

It's plain, but yummy and kid friendly, healthy and dead easy.....

Can you tell I love corn? My dh always laughs because I put corn in most of the family meals. I am a corn connisseur (sp?). For several weeks the brand I liked was unavailable and I went into withdrawals lol..... Now it's back in stock and I have a little stockpile. Bunny laughed when he saw four cans of corn in the pantry. It's not the first time they've not had it - I want to be prepared next time.

Sleepy days

My GP increased my anti depressants and has me taking the extra dose in the morning. In the past I've only ever taken them at night. The result is that I'm absolutely exhausted for the whole morning. Both weekend days I took it at 6am and went back to bed and was pole axed until 9 am!! Totally out like a light. Not just light dozing but a deep heavy sleep. I am working tomorrow, and am a little worried on a couple of fronts. Firstly I'm praying that the class isn't too physical because my shoulder just won't cope, and I am hoping I'll stay awake!!! I can't even take a couple of nurofen plus before I go, because I'll definitely doze off. Normally an increase of meds only takes a few days to get used to, so I'm hoping tomorrow will be okay. I can't take my 6am dose and then go back to bed!! I'm toying with maybe taking it at night rather than morning. Not sure whether to risk it tomorrow or not. I don't like changing 'doctor's orders' but I need to function. It's my third day's work for the term and I'm in no position to say 'no'.

I had to take Billy-Joe out to a birthday party yesterday and I was worried about feeling droopy there. I had a nice time, Mickey came too, but I was very happy to come home, and I laid down for half an hour before I got up and cooked dinner. Today, I've watched TV all day, and have started to crochet. I hadn't crocheted or done much stuff on the computer in the last couple of days thinking that maybe that was putting strain on my shoulder. It's made no difference, so I'd rather be 'resting' and doing something I enjoy rather than nothing at all. I will have my ultrasound done on my shoulder on Tuesday, so hopefully that will offer some answers.

Easter's only a few weeks away. I still have to buy for the kids and dear Bunny. I've bought them a large bunny each, and I need extra eggs for the hunt. I'll buy DB a nice Lindt Bunny box, a tradition I've done for years.

I want my shoulder to settle, so it can stand the jolting on the treadmill. I want my pill's side effects to settle and to start working, so I can start feeling normal again.

Moments of Randomness

*Coaltar soap smells odd - but denotes love to me. My Bunny used to use it when we first met. I used to just love his chest hair, because it smelled of this unusual scent which I'd never smelt before. He used to live in a little cane cutters cottage, which had no running water inside, and no shower. He would shower under the tank stand in the backyard with cold water, straight from the tank. (Does anyone remember the opening scene of Lady Chatterley's Lover???)

* Good quality wine tastes wonderful
* Being sick sucks
* My kids love my home cooking
* Family is everything
* My home is humble and small, but I love it


I bought a cake of Coaltar soap today!

A brighter day

I'm on the hunt for a new GP. My old GP is okay, his care has been fine, but there's something lacking - empathy and a sense of humour. I like to be treated with both. I feel they are my strong qualities when dealing with others, and I now know that it's something I crave. I don't need sympathy or pity, by any stretch, but an understanding and an empathetic ear, goes a long long way.

Today I went to a new clinic. I saw a doctor, he was pleasant enough. I was booked in to see a lady Doctor, but she went home ill, so my appointment was rescheduled. I was basically after a referal to have my shoulder scanned, meanwhile checking out the 'feel' for the clinic. Parking was a cinch, which is important in this town. There's a chemist adjacent which is a huge plus. It's close to home, and they bulk bill which is rare these days.

My anti depressants have been increased too for the next couple of months. I know this will make a difference.

My shoulder has gotten increasingly worse this last few days. Yesterday I was in so much pain, I couldn't do much at all. My left hand and arm is now doing so much more. I was even 'mousing' with my left hand yesterday. I had to bring my physio appointment forward because the pain was so acute. It's a long way from better, but much better today than it was yesterday. I had to do the groceries this morning, so I did it very slowly (I hate trolleys!!!!), and carrying in the groceries to the house, took eight trips. I only carried really light stuff in my right hand. I've been getting Peter to drain the pasta or rice this week, and he's had to lift my heavy scanpan. I've even had him wipe the bench at night. Now my left hand can do a good job of that. I open windows and doors with my left hand. Thank God I'm not carrying an infant anymore!

My tummy still felt 'icky' this morning. I actually felt like I had morning sickness. Not a nice feeling, but thankfully it's subsided. I feel better now than I've felt for days in my stomach. I'm looking forward to dinner and a chardy later.

Barbi came and visited and spent a few hours with me. That woman is good for my head, heart and soul. We didn't even talk about me. It's just her presence. She exudes a goodness that I just drink in when I'm around her. We drank good coffee, ate good cakes and had a light lunch.

I'm heading out now to pick up my little ones. Billy-Joe is across the road with Sheila, one of our elderly neighbours that we keep an eye on. She is quite artistic and Billy-Joe is asking her questions about drawing. So nice to see that a young pre pubescent boy is interested in what an old lady has to offer. Very very sweet, and I'm sure Sheila will be rapt that he came to see her.

Dr. Phil

I have missed Dr. Phil in the last few weeks, because they've had a new show on, called 'Ask the Doctors'. It's not a bad show, but they'll often concentrate on things that I already know, they focus on the 'get healthy' track more often than not. Their interesting shows have been on the less common issues, like certain diseases etc...... However, even though I'm a wanna be doctor, I have missed Dr. Phil.

I have always liked his straight forward approach. I don't always agree with Dr. Phil - but most times I do. He calls a spade a spade and has helped thousands of people with his no nonsense, rational approach to issues.

He's been back on this week, and I'm pleased about that. Today's show, wasn't the ideal one to have on while I was eating lunch! The show focused on a woman who had OCD. She is a compulsive hoarder. Actually this woman had more than one issue.

They showed the rubbish in her house. Normally, when I've seen previous shows on hoarders, it's just loads and loads of 'clean' rubbish. But this was just the most revolting thing I've ever seen. Like I said, not good lunch viewing. This woman had so much food, just rotting in the fridges and freezers. The freezer in the garage which was inaccessible due to all the rubbish in front of it (one truckload!!), had opened, so all the food was defrosted. The freezer was full of maggots and sludge - just vile. The kitchen fridge didn't fare any better. I was shocked and saddened to see this. The woman has children - really lovely kids. I'm so sad to think that these kids have had to grow up like this. The woman had her own issues of anxiety and depression, and found the whole cleaning up thing very very stressful. Added to that her boyfriend is a drunk! My heart just went out to the kids.

Dr. Phil has thrown resources at her, for her to clean up her home and to get better herself. The kids love her, and support her. I hope she continues on her journey, for their sakes as much as hers.

As an aside, I am pleased that she was getting help, and all for free. But I don't think she 'got' the gravity of what she'd done. There didn't seem to be any shame in the state of the house, nor a whole lot of gratitude about what she'd received...... Maybe that's just the cynic inside of me.

And I hate it when I find a dust bunny, or a floppy carrot in the crisper drawer......

Just want out of the valley

With my depression, I expect valleys and hills. Thank goodness in the last few years, since I've been back on permanent medication the valleys have been relatively short, and, normally I just hibernate for a few days and then I feel okay again.

I feel like I've been in my valley since Christmas. I just feel so flat. I have no energy and I do the barest minimum of what I need to do. I have had good days, don't get me wrong, but they don't stick around. I am so cranky at myself. I currently have so much time and could be making the most of it. I could go out, I could stay home and scrapbook. I could create every single day. I stay home, unless I'm asked to go out - and generally it's not social. I do my groceries and thank goodness I still go out every Friday night - but many weeks, I don't go anywhere from one Friday to the next apart from kids' stuff, and the supermarket.

I feel happy in a way. I'm not doom and gloom, just very flat. I have all that I want and need. My family are around me and love me dearly. My home is small but adequate for us, and it's ours (as opposed to rented, which we did for many years).

If I look back over the last few weeks, my health hasn't been great. Between my sinus infection, my hip, my shoulder and now this tummy bug - I guess it's not conducive to feeling like jumping up and down with joy. I have nothing at the moment that I feel excited or passionate about. Nothing to look forward to. I can and do try to focus on the positives in my life. There's no stress in my life either and I am grateful for that.

I'm off to the physio again on Thursday with my shoulder and I know she wants me to have it scanned. I honestly don't want to get on that roundabout again. GP - Radiology - GP - Specialist - GP - back to physio because nothing can be done anyway. I've lost count with the number of times I've been on that roundabout. I know that one of the symptoms of depression and peri menopause, us more aches and pains, but I've always considered them to be a general thing. Kind of like when you have the flu and hurt all over, rather than specific things 'going' on one's body. It seems like my body fights me every step of the way.

I try so damn hard to be healthier.

The year before last, I started ballroom dancing and I hurt my hip. Last year I started walking and my hip got so bad, I had to stop, because I couldn't walk the hills anymore. I've now had to stop my weights because of my shoulder! I've stopped the treadmill because of my hip again. I will restart though, I just can't understand why I always have these hurdles.

I'm not trying some crazy fad, I'm not doing anything unreasonable. I'm fit enough to be able to do these things, but my muscles protest and stop me from doing what my body needs.

So if you find my mojo, my energy, my motivation or my inspiration, please send it my way. I've been taking multi vitamins to help with the energy levels, but that's done nothing.

Sorry for another down post. I wanted to update my blog though, and this blog has always been an honest outlet for me - for good feelings and thoughts and also for the not so good ones.

My family are all well again, they've all had the tummy virus, and it took two weeks to get to me. I think I have a 'watered down' version, because I am not vomiting like Sammy was, just good friends with the toilet. I can still eat, but am eating less.

I just want the spring back in my step. I don't just want to be going through the motions.

I want to feel something!

Warning: Whinge and complaining ahead

I understand if you don't want to read......whine alert.

I tell you, I would be a hypochondriacs dream. They wouldn't have to make up any health issues, because they are all real. And the health issues just keeps coming, one after the other.

I feel like I am always under a doctor for something, or at the physiotherapist's. Last year it was my hip, which is now under control. It's not gone, there are still things I can't do at all, but I don't live in constant pain with it anymore like I did. Mind you, it flared up earlier in the week, with a bursitis pain, which is horrid. I had just about finished on the treadmill, when I felt it 'go'. I hobbled around for the morning and then rang my physio and was relieved that I could get in on that same day. I was in more pain that afternoon, getting up from a sitting position was especially painful. I stayed away from the treadmill yesterday, and will again today, just to be on the safe side. I wanted to go and see about my shoulder again, because there's been no improvement. My back has always been an issue, and since surgery in 1990, it's been in varying degrees of pain. I had lots and lots of treatment early on after the surgery, and thankfully got rid of the pain I had suffered. Now I'm just very careful. Having a fragile lower back, and arthritis in my thoracic spine, gives me chronic upper back and neck pain. From time to time my shoulders play up and I usually need one or two treatments and I'm good to go again for a few months.

I've also had chronic achilles tendonitis for years now. I used to love step aerobics, now my calves and achilles can't do it anymore. About twenty minutes into the class they seize up so badly, I have to stop. I spent the hideous amount of money on orthotics, but that made no difference. I do notice a big difference in buying good track shoes though, a big difference actually, so I don't mind spending the money on good shoes. All my shoes are good shoes. I don't wear crappy, cheap shoes. I rarely wear thongs. I think back to just after Sammy was born, and he was in NICU and I was staying at Ronald McDonald House. Sadly, my most vivid memory of that time, was the amount of pain I was in with my achilles from walking several times a day to go and spend time with my baby!!!

I'm on anti inflammatories permanently. If I stop taking them, my achilles seize up so badly, every step hurts. The arthritis in my fingers hurts so badly, I have trouble holding my husband's hand. Funnily enough I can cope with that stuff. I've had it so long, that it's just a part of me. It's just something I need to manage, and for the most part my pain levels are tolerable.

So why is it then, just as my hip settles and my leg doesn't ache with every step, does my shoulder and arm have to give me trouble? Like a said, a hypochondriac would drool over my aches and issues lol......

I've had to stop my weights now, because my shoulder needs to heel. The thing is, I couldn't do them if I tried. Opening the car door is hard. I've changed my handbag back to my leather backpack, because I can't hold a handbag in my right hand, or on my right shoulder anymore - even when I make it lighter by taking out the extraneous stuff.

I know my troubles are really minimal in this world we live in, but they are my troubles, and make me feel like crap. I just want to go about my day without needing to be in pain, without calculating my every move. I'm just so glad that I'm no longer carrying a small child around.

Chronic pain, with interspersed episodes of acute pain seems to be a way of life for me. I hate it and wish I was the person in my body that I'm in my mind!

Another whinge
~ I broke my tooth at the start of the week. Thank goodness I got it fixed quickly, but not after the dentist had earned himself a tidy $280 for the job!!!!! Thank God I have dental cover, so I only had to pay $160!!

Update

I'll update in words tomorrow. Good night.

The above cards are copied from the lastest Cards book. I loved the tree stamp and them stamped it again onto the orange patterned paper and cut out the leaves. It was very fiddly, but I love the result. The robot stamp, is the one that hasn't made it onto a card yet. I tend to do girlie cards and then whenever the kids get invited to a birthday party I always resort to a bought card.

Weekend

The weekend is always such a nice time. I wish they would last a little longer though. Yesterday I managed to get Billy-Joe his footy boots, and he bought a Tiger Woods Wii game with his pocket money. We had afternoon tea together, and then as a reward I checked out the Apple department in Myer. I could literally spend ages in there with the computer geeks. I have to control myself so that I don't start helping the people out that are perusing the other computers. I talked to one of the lovely geeks, about which Macbook to get. He's all but talked me out of the bottom of the line model. The quality of the screen is better on the aluminium Macbooks, as is the battery life. The trackpad had more functions too. I asked about Apple TV and even though I don't think I have a need for it, I am still impressed with its functions. You hook it up via HDMI cable to the TV and you can view your movies on your big screen TV, or up to five different things in the house actually. It works as another wireless storage point with all your itunes library, which can then be accessible to the other computers. Installing your own movies onto the device seems a bit convoluted though, as you need to use Handbrake to change the format of the movie. Handbranke, works well, but is extremely slow.

Mum and Dad came for dinner last night. I made my Green Curry and it was delicious and enjoyed by everyone. We had a lovely night, of wine, food and great conversation and thoroughly enjoyed each other's company.

I showed them my Christmas DVD. I really need to get that finished and burned to DVD. I am quite happy with it. I would like to figure out how to get the camera to film better inside at night. The quality in low light, leaves a lot to be desired. When I read reviews before I bought it, I found that the quality was supposed to be okay. So maybe, I'm doing something wrong.

I have fixed the youtube videos now, they are no longer set to private (which is obviously the default). So I hope they work for you now.